Love and Repair Series Box Set
Page 7
All I manage to stutter is, "You have a Harley Davidson Night Train? Wow."
He looks at the bike, shrugs his shoulders then replies, "If you don't want to ride, we can take your car. Maggie said you used to drive a sportster. So I, ummm, thought.....well anyway we can take your car."
Without thinking, I grab him off my porch and pull him into my living room, where I leave him as I dart through the kitchen, and into my garage. I come back to him, helmet in hand, and smiling my biggest smile.
He's standing there watching me as I braid my hair. "Ryder, I haven't been on a bike since the last time I drove mine on a poker run with my dad and his friends. I would love to ride with you. Let’s go!" He grabs my helmet and helps me lock up.
He climbs on the bike and starts it. We both put on our helmets. I wait until he is situated and climb on behind him. There is no sissy bar, so I wrap my arms around his waist. Oh this is such a free feeling. Being this close to him makes me feel safe, and that all is right in my world.
He takes me to a local steakhouse, where I take the time to actually talk with Ryder. Well, as much as I can with the traffic of people interrupting us to speak to him. From the waitress constantly refilling his glass, and flashing her breasts in his direction, to the handful of clients wanting to say hello to him, I don’t know how he manages to eat much of anything. There seems to be an almost constant interruption of some sort.
We do manage to talk cars, bikes, the woes of being in business for yourself, Maggie, Brayden and the general everyday stuff. He is so easy to be around, easy to talk to, wonderful to look it; everything just fit.
After we finish eating, Ryder asks, "What do you want to do now?"
I smile like a kid at Christmas. "Can we just go ride for a while? Feel the air, hear the motor rumble, and just be?"
“Sure thing, Sunshine.”
I, hesitantly, agree to let him take care of the check. I wanted to pay, as I did invite him out to dinner. He’s having none of that though.
When we get outside he grabs my waist and looks down at me. My only thought is, yes, please yes, kiss me! But he doesn't.
Instead, he speaks. "I’m sorry for all the interruptions in there. I love spending time with you, and you actually talking for a change. Thank you."
Then, ever so lightly, he brushes his lips against mine. I’m sure I’m melting into a puddle right here, but before I can react he is putting my helmet on my head. Once he gets his helmet on, we get on the bike and take off for our ride.
I get lost in the sensations, seeing all the night lights, holding Ryder and just being in the moment. For most of the ride, he keeps his free hand protectively on my thigh. We arrive back at my house all too soon and he walks me to my porch.
This is it, the goodnight. Nervously, I ask, "Ryder, would you like to come in for a drink or something?"
He runs his hand through his hair, "It’s late and if I go in, I’m liable not to leave, baby. Tonight was great and you’re absolutely beautiful, Dina."
He leans down and gives me a slow peck on my cheek, instinctively I begin to tilt my head to him. He slowly brushes his lips to mine; once, twice, and before he can stop me I put my arms around his neck and pull him into me as I deepen the kiss. There isn't one part of his mouth I don’t explore with my tongue. He moans and gives me back just as much as I am giving him. I could kiss him all night. He pulls away, leaving us both a little breathless.
He lightly brushes his lips to mine once more, then whispers, "I should go, baby." He kisses my forehead once again before walking to his bike.
Stepping inside, I lean against my front door, taking it all in. I can't decide if I want to do a happy dance and fist pump for a wonderful date with Ryder or cry because I want so much more. I have never had such a burning desire for anyone. The spark between us is like the air needed to breathe.
Ryder
I walk her to her door, intending to just give her a quick kiss. I linger a little too long and she pulls me into her. At first, I can’t believe she did it! She’s so shy and reserved; but she slid her arms around my neck, and pulls me toward her, deepening our kiss. I easily open, and receive her greedy tongue. I’m more than ready and eager to give back, as much as I’m receiving. I can feel the pleading and the want radiating off her body in waves. But it’s too soon, I remind myself.
I want her for the long term, not just one night. It takes everything in me to pull away. I want to make sweet, slow love to her entire body. Not just a heated, quick, spur of the moment, hot sex. Dina deserves better than that.
There are more things we both need to sort out before we can be together. Tonight is a good sign we are heading in the direction of a strong future together. I don’t want to rush that or do anything to tarnish what we’re building but pushing too hard or fast.
Chapter Five
Taking Chances
Dina
Saturday morning arrives and I head in to the office to organize a few things for tonight’s MMA fighting event. Maggie walks in an hour behind me and immediately wants details about my date with Ryder. Hello, that’s what best friends do. I give her a brief run down, leaving out the front porch kiss.
My insecurities have me wondering if Ryder only kissed me back not to hurt my feelings. I remind myself this is the man who has seen, firsthand, my poor relationship decisions. As the day carries on, with no word from Ryder, I begin to question everything even more. Did he really want to have dinner with me? How fragile does he think I am? He kissed me back, but he didn't put his arms around me. I am the one that pushed the kiss further, not Ryder. Did he want to kiss me? Does he feel the passion and fire I feel, just by being in his presence? What if he just went along to fix the broken me?
Enough, I tell myself! I cannot spend my time questioning everything. I just have to put my ‘big girl panties’ on, step into my pair of ‘I am strong boots’ and walk right into taking chances again. I can do this and I will do this!
Maggie and I head over to the complex hosting the cage fight to make sure things are lining up right. As I look out to the octagon that will later be filled with fighters battling a war for titles and money, I feel the fighting going on inside of me. My insecurities scream to hold up in the corner and hide from humanity. The me I once was, is screaming to live life once again. It’s a battle with neither side willing to tap out and no one will truly win the war as both sides hold risks of emotional damage.
Brayden walks right up and without saying so much as hello, he takes Maggie into an all-consuming kiss that makes me think, get a room people. When Maggie breaks off their kiss, I manage to nod a hello to Brayden. I notice that something seems off in his eyes. He seems to be in a daze.
My heart begins to flutter, sensing Ryder nearby. He strides up in a Tapout shirt, jeans, and the redhead attached to him like an extra appendage. My smile immediately disappears as I realize, yep, dinner was just pity on his part. Does this chick ever go away?
He peels his addition off his side and pulls me into a hug. I inhale his scent of Perry Ellis Black and Ryder as he leans down to whisper to me. "Dina, this is not what it looks like, I promise you." He kisses my forehead, with his hands now on my hips.
As I fight back tears, I boldly look him in the eye to say, "It’s none of my business. Enjoy the fights tonight. Please excuse me, I need to go check the merchandise table. I’ll see you around, okay." And with that, I take off before anyone can try to stop me.
I manage to work the entire event without seeing Ryder or Brayden. Maggie seems a little off as the night wears on, but I’m just ready to go home and escape it all. I hope everything is okay for her and Brayden. His behavior is becoming more erratic.
Before leaving, I send Maggie a text letting her know I’m tired and plan to ignore my phone on Sunday, but I’ll see her for our usual Monday routine. I don't want or need her sending over a certain babysitter again. The babysitter who obviously has plans tonight.
Once home, I spend the rest of my night tossing
and turning. Sleep avoids me as much as I’m trying to avoid thoughts of Ryder. The more I fail to shake him from my mind, the further I get from a relaxing slumber.
So, here I sit, on Sunday, in my oldest, most comfortable pajamas, a bag of chocolates, a bowl of popcorn, and a marathon of Lifetime movies. I take this day, to be alone, determined to get my head on straight.
Okay, so Ryder's just not that into me. Well, it is what it is. I do still need to put myself out there more. The way things are going, Maggie and Brayden will be getting engaged soon, then married, and that whole baby business. I’m happy for her. I just wish I had that companionship, love, support, encouragement, and partnership.
Although, I must admit, I don't understand their situation lately or Brayden’s behavior last night. He's not usually one for over the top PDAs or driving her little Audi A4 for that matter. He likes muscle cars, not imports. At the end of the day, my bestie is over the moon in love and happy. I’m overjoyed for her. This is just an adjustment, a bump in the road for them, whatever it is.
Ryder
I desperately want to call Dina, but I don't want to crowd her. Brayden had me give him a ride to the cage fight on Saturday. I decided to go since I knew Dina would be there. I can't get the kiss out of my mind. Who knows, maybe when she is done working tonight I can manage to get another one and really show her how I feel about her. Those were my thoughts going to the fight, but as seems my luck as of late, it’s all quickly dismissed as Valerie is once again in my face.
I arrive at Brayden's to find he has company, in the form of Valerie. Why is she here, I wonder to myself? Brayden looks like he is in a daze, but he just shrugs and climbs in the car. I know Valerie and Brayden are long-time friends. He wouldn't risk anything with Maggie either. What I don't know is, why she’s getting in my car too?
I look in the backseat and ask her, "Val, what’s the deal? Why are you here and why the hell are you getting in my car?"
She smiles what I think is her attempt at seduction; however, failing miserably. "Oh, I ran into Brayden this morning and asked if I could tag along to the fight tonight, he said sure. I’ll be on my best behavior Ryder, don't worry." I start the car and pull away.
What have I gotten myself into? Valerie and I don't have the best history. I did her wrong. We met at a party where Brayden and I were hanging out. I gave her all the lines and used every bit of charm and charisma to get her in my bed. I didn't know until we were in the midst of things that she was a virgin. I wish I could say that stopped me, but it didn't. I took what she freely gave, and walked away.
That night, after pounding Michael’s face in, I realized that, although I don't beat on women, I use and hurt them. I called Valerie to apologize for being a complete douche bag the next day after Dina’s situation. Now, I can't seem to get away from her, she’s everywhere. She is a well-played reminder from karma of just how bad I was to women.
We arrive and immediately find Dina and Maggie. Of course, Valerie decides she can't keep her hands off me. I can see the hurt in Dina's eyes, but this is not the time, or the place, for me to try to explain to her the damage I’ve caused Valerie.
I try to speak to her, but she’s busy working and soon she’s gone. I take Valerie home, thankful to be away from her finally. I have a tension headache building and I don't think any amount of Tylenol will make me feel any better.
I don’t know how I’m going to make a go of things with Dina if Valerie is constantly around. She says she understands it’s over between us. Actions speak louder than words though, and I’m afraid she’s not showing me she believes this.
My weekend plans to sort out what to do with Dina are quickly crushed as I get a phone call from Vanessa, Valerie’s sister. Things have gone from bad to worse. I have dealt with the many ups and downs that are Valerie over the past three years since my apology.
Sunday morning, after the cage fight, Vanessa calls me to say Val attempted suicide after I dropped her off. Vanessa can't have her around her kids or deal with her anymore. I went over to Vanessa’s house to talk with them both. I knew Valerie had some deep rooted daddy issues from her dead beat sperm donor. I never realized just how strongly they impacted her as an adult.
It turns out Valerie has an addiction to oxycodone and she was at rock bottom from my rejection. Guilty conscience kicks in.
The three of us packed up and left immediately. I’m in Colorado to help her settle into a rehab facility. I’m trying to be supportive and help her, but my mind and heart are with Dina.
We have been texting and calling. She hasn't said anything about Saturday night. She asks where I am and I just answer that its personal business. Our conversations thus far are short, stiff, and almost jilted. I’ve messed this up and I’m not sure how to fix it.
I don't know how to face her and say I screwed up a girl so bad she needs rehab. Three weeks into the treatment, I feel the urge to do something to show Dina just how much I’m missing her. What’s every man’s answer? Flowers, of course; yes, this will bring a smile to her face and surprise her.
Chapter Six
Thinking of You
Dina
Three weeks have passed since my date with Ryder. He has called and texted quite a bit actually, but since he’s been out of town handling some personal business, we haven’t had a lot of time to talk about our relationship.
I’m at the office working on a new restaurant grand opening event, when a flower delivery woman arrives. The arrangement is absolutely gorgeous, full of bright California gerbera daisies, tulips, tiger lilies, and one red rose. It is so big and full, sitting in a huge basket.
Assuming they are for Maggie, I sign for them and place them on her desk. Looking at the clock, I realize then that she is a lot later than I expected her to be. She called this morning to say she would need a little extra time and would miss our meeting with a new client to help promote their new brew line.
Around lunch time, she arrives looking exhausted and not as put together as she normally is. Something is amiss with my friend. She seems to be going through the motions as she enters.
Before I have a chance to ask her what’s wrong, she begins crying. “Brayden didn't come home until six this morning. He wouldn't tell me where he was other than to say he slept in the car. Dina, I don't understand, we weren't fighting or anything major; we had a minor disagreement over money but nothing to send him out all night."
How do I even comfort my friend from that? I gently hug her and reply, "Who knows what men really think or why they do what they do? Maybe he just needs space for a bit. You know he adores you and he didn't set out to spend the night away." She appears a little better. The crying stops as she nods and gives me a weak smile.
She enters her office. As she sees the flowers, I hear her laugh. "Dina, did you even look at the card?"
"What card?" I ask as I enter her office door. She points to the basket as she’s still laughing at me. "Oh the flowers; no, why would I? No one has any reason to send me flowers."
As I say this she is handing me the card with my name clearly written on the outer envelope. Flowers for me? This is the first time, since Michael, that anyone has sent me flowers. And well, Michael’s flowers only came as an apology after leaving behind his own colorful marks on my body. This is the first time I’ve been given such a gift just because. With nervous and shaky hands, I open the card.
Sunshine, I’m thinking of you. I miss you and hope to be home soon. Love, Ryder.
Oh my goodness, Ryder misses me. Maggie laughs at my shock.
She hugs me as she reminds me, "Go call and thank him, silly."
I get his voicemail, and I leave a quick message, "Thank you for the beautiful flowers and card, Ryder, it really made my day."
*****
By the next day, Maggie seems much better. The work day passes quickly as both Maggie and I are working on multiple events. After my day at the office, I’m home relaxing in a bubble bath with my Jacuzzi tub jets running, when my phone
rings. Looking at the caller ID my heart beats a little faster, it’s Ryder.
"Hey, Misterman." I answer.
"Hello, beautiful. It’s good to hear your voice after phone tag yesterday. I hope you had a good day and evening.”
“It’s going.” I answer nonchalantly.
“You going out or doing anything special tonight?”
Well, we are on the phone and I am feeling brave, so I answer in almost a whisper, "I’m in the bath tub, covered in nothing but bubbles, relaxing, thinking of how I wish it were you covering me instead."
He’s quiet for a moment, as I’m sure I’ve taken him by surprise with my bold admission. I think I hear a low growl from him, but I’m not sure.
With his voice deeper than I’ve ever heard before, "Damn, Dina you’re killin’ me over here. Oh, how I wish I was there. I’d be happy to wash your back for you."
I smile as I add, "Just my back, huh, what about my front?"
I hear him groan, "Oh, baby, you don't want to start something, you can't finish."
I stay quiet for just a brief moment, "Ryder, I’ll be glad to start and finish anything with you, anytime, anywhere. The question is…am I what you really want?"
There, I said it, now am I really ready for an answer?
He then shocks me with his own admission, "Dina, it’s been you, and only you, that I’ve wanted since the first night I met you at the restaurant. Since the night we found you at the bottom of the stairs, when I beat the shit out of that bastard, I haven't wanted anyone but you. I’ve been waiting for you to get over that situation. For you to feel comfortable and safe again so we can pursue a real relationship."
He pauses, sighs, and then continues, "Dina, you’re one of a kind special. I’m far from a perfect man. Hell, I’m not even a good man, but for you, and because of you, I want to be. I’ve treated women wrong in the past; I’ve used them, lead them on, and dumped them in some harsh ways. I may not have ever laid a hand on a woman, but I have left some completely and unintentionally broken, and for that I’m forever sorry. I don't want to lead you on or treat you wrong. I want to be your safe place, Dina. I never want to see you sad, or hurt. I want to hold you close and call you mine, in all ways, for always. Baby, I’ve messed up big time in my past and I’m paying for it, even now. I don't deserve someone as strong and beautiful as you. I’ve tried to stay away from you, but you just draw me in. When you look at me, I feel like you can see the potential and goodness inside me. One kiss from you, is enough to make me weak in the knees. Dina, I want to see what we can make of everything between us.” He sighs, “I wish I was there, I didn't want to do this by phone."