“No Harrison. You can’t meet my dad… Ever.” She replies, in a tone so cold it is ice.
Shocked and now seething in anger I ask, “And why the hell not?”
“Let’s be real, you’re a regular work by the hour kind of guy and has been jarhead. You’re a good fuck Harrison, but you can’t meet my dad.” She all too calmly states.
“So that’s what you think of me? Seriously? After all this time, the truth comes out.”
When she pauses not responding right away, I get in my car. This is obviously going nowhere, time to cut my losses.
Chapter One
Hello Harrison
Harrison
I feel like someone has placed a pallet of bricks on my chest. Maggie, my precious baby sister, is one beautiful bride. I am overjoyed for her and Brayden. Thinking back to the many times I made sure to scare the boys off her, I smile. Brayden would not be deterred, even when I came home on leave to personally threaten him. Maggie and Brayden have gone through hell and back to share this day, I couldn’t be happier.
Seeing this, I’m more than ready for my life to get serious, really start a family. At thirty, I have finally found a place I call home easily, Charlotte, North Carolina. I’m comfortably living near my sister, my friends, and my dream job at Ryder’s garage. Everything seems to be falling in place, except there is no one to share it with.
Sophia, one of Maggie’s bridesmaids and close friends has occupied a lot of my time lately. She is beautiful, intelligent, independent, strong, talented, stubborn, and just amazing. We met a little over two years ago when I first moved to Charlotte. I wanted some new ink and Maggie sent me to Sophia. Now we have a mutual and beneficial, friends with a little something more relationship.
We’ve spent the evening on the beach for Maggie’s wedding ceremony and now we’re at the reception that’s been set up outside of Dina’s beach house. Tonight, the atmosphere of love, holding her, caressing her, and dancing with her leaves me craving so much more. For two people who have talked about everything under the sun, we have purposely avoided the topic of us. She knows more about me than my own family. Yet, I can’t find the balls to ask for a more serious commitment than sex.
Our friends and my family know we are hooking up, but are not an actual couple. The plus to that is I can kiss her freely right here at my sister’s wedding, and no one will gasp in surprise. So that is what I do, I lose myself in her plump, soft, luscious lips. The down side to this is there will always be those questions of when we are going to be real with each other about our fear of titles and commitment. As the sayings go, ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,’ at least that’s what I tell myself.
Looking up after my kiss with Sophia, I find the warm eyes of my mother watching me. She makes her way over, cutting in to dance with me. Apparently she decides it’s time for us to discuss my situation.
“Son, what are you and Sophia doing? It’s obvious you both adore one another. I also know you are ready to take things to a more serious level. Why are you two wasting time playing with one another’s emotions? Tomorrow isn’t promised, Harry.”
“Mom, I don’t know what to do about her. Yes, I want more, but we have never talked about it. I get the feeling she doesn’t want that right now, but, then again, I don’t know.”
She smiles, “it’s simple, figure it out. You ask, she answers, and then you know.” With that she leaves me in the middle of the dance floor.
It’s simple, my ass. Nothing about Sophia Rosa-Linda Lopez is simple. Figure it out, that’s easier said than done. Just thinking of her makes me miss having her close. I go in search of Sophia. Finding her chatting with Maggie, I smile. I know my sister would approve of us being together. Sophia fits in with my family.
Tonight is not the night to share my feelings. Tonight, is about Maggie and Brayden. I will take her out to dinner, have a romantic date, and tell her that I’m ready for more. Does she finally want that, to have more than the amazing sex we share?
Time for the bride and groom to leave. I walk with my arm wrapped around Sophia, smiling, not a second thought for what is about to happen. I look up as I recognize the voice saying my name. So many bottled thoughts and emotions come barreling to the surface. It’s been two years since I’ve heard that voice tell me I am ‘a has been jarhead’ and a working class piece of shit; my blood runs cold.
“Hello, Harrison.” Tiffany says
What the hell?
Tiffany
From as far back as I can remember there isn’t a moment of my life Matt hasn’t been a part of. Our dads’, being long-time friends and business partners we were raised together as family. He’s my very best friend, my confidant, and my protector. Matt is a year older than me and the big brother I never officially had.
The day Matt enlisted in the Marines our Dads’ were heartbroken and angry. As for me, I was happy he found the guts to get away from the stuffiness of our upper class upbringing. Matt never had aspirations to be another asshole in a suit. He wanted to see the world, experience life to the fullest.
Growing up in Beaufort, South Carolina, we were surrounded in southern, small town tradition. We lived a sheltered life. Our parent’s real estate investment firm has always been quite profitable. Even in a down turned economy, we’ve never done without life’s luxuries. I’ve never known what it’s like to want for something; well, want for a material object that is. As we got older, I was afraid to be myself, to find myself. I made sure to be Daddy’s southern belle: quiet, classy, and confident. While Matt, on the other hand, wanted to forge his own path.
Before anyone could stop him, Matt enlisted in the United States Marine Corps. The plan was for us to go to USC together; at least, that was my plan for us. He started college, and as if we were on the same path. I never thought Matt would actually leave. He spoke of the Marines travelling, being a way out, as well as, a way to serve his country, but I didn’t take him seriously. Honestly, I thought it was all teenage angst and talk.
The day he left for boot camp is a day engraved in my memory. My father forbid me to go see him off. Of course, I didn’t listen. I met Matt at the recruiter’s office for his van ride to Paris Island, where he would be for basic training. Right before he got in the vehicle, he hugged me tight and whispered.
“Hold tight, Tiff, things are going to be rough for a bit. My dad disowned me for my choice to join. I’ll write to you so look for it. Your dad won’t willingly give you the letters. Go to college, Tiff, get good grades and all that, but find yourself. Stop being who they want you to be and just be you.” Then with his trademark kiss on the forehead, he was gone.
True to his word, he wrote, not often enough, but it was something. He made a buddy, and in his letters he told me about him.
Lawson is wild and free. Tiff, his family writes him constantly. His dad was a Marine. He was a little too wild for a few years after high school, so he joined to straighten out his life. I wonder what it would be like to have grown up with a supportive family, not one full of expectations. Lawson and I push each other to get through. It’s exhausting here, both mentally and physically. I’m thankful for your letters, Tiff, they help me get by. Graduation is coming up soon, I hope you can make it. If not, I will see you after school when I get some leave. Take care baby girl, Matt.
Matt’s family, still not accepting his decision, refused to attend graduation. I went alone. My life changed that day; not in the way Matt’s did, but it was a change in my heart. Graduation day was the day I met Harrison James Lawson.
Now, here I stand, eight years later facing Harrison and the Lawson family. Once again, I’m not prepared for what seeing him does to me. It’s been two years, but not one single day has gone by that I haven’t thought of him. This is for Matt I tell myself. Focusing on calming my breathing, I gather my courage.
“Hello, Harrison.” I say, watching as the man I can’t let go of, holds another woman tightly to him.
Chapter Two
Never Will
Be Too Soon
Harrison
Quickly realizing, this is not the time or the place for this encounter I respond.
“Tiffany now is not a good time.”
At the mere mention of her name, Sophia pulls away from me. Tiffany looks distraught, eyes puffy, her blonde hair pulled into a messy bun on top of her head. She’s in yoga pants and a tank top. Clearly she didn’t know she was coming to a wedding. My sister hasn’t gotten into the limo yet. Seconds tick by feeling like hours. Why is Tiffany here now?
Tiffany looks over to Maggie, the occasion dawning on her face. “I’m so very sorry to intrude. I was hoping for a moment to speak with Harrison. I didn’t realize what was going on when I was told I could find him here. Congratulations Maggie, you look stunning. Again, I’m sorry. I’ll be leaving now.”
Turning to face me, tears now evident in her eyes, she says, “Harrison, please call me tomorrow. It’s important. I’m leaving to go return to South Carolina late afternoon.”
Anger builds in me at the loss of Sophia at my side. How dare Tiffany come back now! Without thinking, I snap.
“Now is not the time, Tiffany. To be quite honest, never would be too soon. I have nothing to say to you.”
Without a word or reaction, Tiffany turns and leaves. The tension in the air quickly leaves as Brayden kisses my sister passionately. Reminding us all of the occasion for which we are here.
The newlyweds get in their limo driving away to the clanging of cans hanging off the car and the cheers of family and friends. Knowing some damage has already been done, I go in search of Sophia. Things aren’t defined between us; this isn’t jealousy, I don’t think. She knows how much Tiffany messed me up before.
Tiffany
Sitting in my car, I can’t stop the barrage of tears from flowing. After a few minutes, I compose myself enough to drive to the hotel.
“Oh Matt, the men in uniforms showing up was bad enough.” I mutter to the air around me.
Harrison’s rejection stings, but it’s not half of the hurt I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Part of me knew the cold shoulder I would face from my former lover. The other part of me longed for him to embrace me, comfort me, and somehow make this not hurt so much.
He needs to know what’s happened. I didn’t mean to intrude on such an intimate occasion as Maggie’s wedding. I never imagined I’d be delivering this news. There wasn’t a plan in place for me telling Harrison this. Matt has prepared as much as possible, but he left out dealing with his best friend. The one I messed everything up with, the one I can’t get over, the one I can’t let go of, and the one who hates me. Oh yeah, how do I find a way to tell him what we’ve both lost?
With Matt around, I was never alone. Even when he was deployed I knew he was in my heart. Family, real family, not in a name, not in blood, but unconditional love and acceptance family. Lonely, empty, and loss are all I feel.
Chapter Three
Way Back When
Tiffany
Matt has always been my rock. Harrison was my escape. When we were together, I was free. I didn’t have to live up to the standard of Thomas Richard King.
Every breath I take around my dad is measured and calculated. To say my dad is a control freak is an understatement. My mom didn’t last three years under his scrutiny before she bailed, off to who knows where. My current step mom, Candice, will put up with anything my dad dishes out, as longs as she stays adorned in diamonds and country club life.
Matt introduced Harrison to me at dinner one night. They were on weekend liberty following the boot camp graduation. He was so confident, laid back, even after the weeks of the harsh adjustment Marine Corps life. Week after week of being physically pushed, while mentally being broken down and trained by the drill instructors was the life they lived in basic training. Here Harrison was, relaxed and easy to be around. I found myself smiling a genuine smile. For once, I was laughing and carefree, all because of this tall, dark haired marine. Thinking back now, it feels like it was a lifetime ago.
Harrison and Matt were both infantry. ‘Grunts,’ they would say. After basic training, they were sent to the School of Infantry, otherwise known as SOI, Camp Johnson, North Carolina. This was a five to six hour road trip for me to visit, but I gladly made it to see Matt and Harry on weekends when they would get liberty. The boys and I were both astounded and elated when they completed school and were stationed together in Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. Harrison’s family had retired to Coastal North Carolina, and they were within an hour drive from the boy’s barracks. Matt was able to spend a lot of time with them.
Thinking on this now, I’m reminded that Harrison’s family would want to know what happened as well, even if Harrison doesn’t want to see me. They took Matt in as part of their family. He told me that they sent him care packages during every one of his deployments. Not once, since Matt joined the military, did anyone in his family tried to contact him. Every deployment, I’ve made sure to send Matt the comforts from home.
For years, whether Harrison and I were together or not, I also sent him packages as well. He has had a piece of my heart from the very beginning. I try to tell myself it’s because he was so close with Matt, but reality is I think it’s so much more. I wasn’t ready to admit to it or face what all of that would mean for me two years ago, but now, Harrison doesn’t have a piece of my heart. No, he is my heart. Since that day, I’ve lived with the regret of what I said and did. Immediately after my dad left, I tried calling, texting, emailing. Harrison shut me out, slammed and locked the door to any form of reconciliation. He finally had enough of my shit. Matt told me it was coming, I didn’t listen. Matt told me a lot of things and I never fucking listened. My life is a mess now and he isn’t able to help me anymore.
Harrison has always and will always have the support from his family. I don’t know what that’s like. I got a glimpse of it, a small taste of being important enough to be thought of as an individual with feelings when I was with Harrison. His mom, Marguerite was so considerate of me after Harrison’s accident. Within hours of getting the call that Harrison had been injured during a deployment, she had tracked down my phone number and contacted me. He had withstood shrapnel wound to his knee. He would be fine after the surgery. However, the damage was done. At twenty seven, Harrison received a medical discharge from the Marine Corps and had a full knee replacement surgery. Rods and pins now replaced bone and cartilage. The scars running down his right leg were nothing but a visible reminder of the rehabbing of his knee that never would work the same again. To this day, he walks with a slight limp, but his build makes it look more like a swagger step than the true disability that it is. During cold weather or rain, the issues he faces with it are more prominent. Prideful as he is, no one will ever really know if he’s in pain.
Throughout all of that, Marguerite Lawson was so kind and considerate of me. She made sure I was informed of Harrison’s daily progress, even though we weren’t officially a couple at the time. Oh sure, we slept together, but I would never commit to Harrison. Thinking back, I was a complete bitch to Marguerite. We didn’t actually meet until after the accident and Harrison had relocated to South Carolina to be closer to me; the same weekend it all ended. Harrison brought me home with him because Maggie was going to be home with Dina and their boyfriends. Harrison loves those two girls and is the typical overprotective big brother. We were at his parent’s house, when I totally judged and offended Marguerite. Oh, I’m such a horrible person. I don’t dislike motorcycle clubs. In fact, Harrison and I share some great memories on his bike. I don’t know how to handle meeting new people and I messed that up just like I do everything else.
Oh Matt! What a mess! I know they would want to know what has happened. How do I tell them? Will any of them even hear me out? Harrison can’t stand the sight of me. Does his mother feel the same way? They deserve closure though. What if they sent a care package recently? I can’t let them find out by getting a returned box.
Gathering
my resolve, I know what I have to do. The Lawson family have a right to know, and it’s something they deserve to hear face to face. It’s about more than Harrison.
Chapter Four
Always At Arms-Length
Harrison
Everyone is gone, including Sophia. As soon as Maggie and Brayden pulled off, she disappeared. Tonight is not going at all how I thought it would. I should be balls deep inside Sophia at this very moment, not thinking about my ex.
With all the love and romance in the air, I was in high hopes that Sophia would want more. This started as pure sex, yes, but we have cultivated a real friendship. When I arrived in Charlotte, love, romance, those were the last things I had on my mind. Maggie, my sister, was going through a lot, and needed me. I needed the escape. We spent the first night with me under her needle as her artistic creation came to life on my body. I’m a man, I have needs. Within two weeks of that first tattoo by her, we were fuck buddies. That’s all either of us could give to one another at the time; a release, and a damn good release at that.
In the beginning, she kept me at arms-length, maintaining any and all emotional distance. She wouldn’t look me in the eye. Fucking, that was just that, a good fuck. All control, submitted to me; she would give me all of her body, but nothing beyond physical release. Fine with me. At first, I was recovering from the blow to my ego, delivered by Tiffany. To have someone give me complete authority and control was one hell of a confidence booster. I was adjusting to life in Charlotte, and I didn’t have time for the demands of a relationship. Over time though, we have built a true friendship. The more time I actually spend getting to know Sophia, the more things seem to fit for us.
At six feet tall, I tower over the spit fire that is the five foot one inch powerhouse beauty of Sophia. She’s a tiny thing with curves, a tight ass, and thighs with a real grip. Her breasts are perky and full, but not over flowing. She fills my larges hands, but barely. It’s the perfect amount for a good squeeze and a pinch. Her Hispanic heritage gives her a natural tan skin tone, dark hair, and dark eyes that consume me.
Love and Repair Series Box Set Page 29
