Some Kind of Monster

by Albany Walker

  I reach for Grim’s arm as he starts to follow Calix into the kitchen and release Gunnar’s hand, giving the Berserker a nod to go ahead without us. “Grim, can you show me how to release these souls or whatever?” I feel a little crazy asking, but maybe it has something to do with why my body is so fucked up right now.

  He turns his arm over and reverses our hold, so he’s now cradling my arm. “Certainly, my apologies for the delay.”

  “It’s not your fault. It’s just… yeah, I’m just ready now.” I push my hair back over my shoulder with my free hand. I don’t like knowing I have two souls cruising around inside me, nor do I want to be responsible for creating shades like Grim told me about at the Marshall House.

  Grim looks around. “Come with me.” I don’t know why, but my stomach erupts in nervous butterflies. What if I can’t do it?

  He takes us upstairs to what I think is just a spare bedroom. The bed is made up, but I don’t see anything personal, leading me to think no one sleeps here regularly. It makes me curious why Kim lives outside the pack land. “Should I change?”

  Grim looks me over. “Yes, get comfortable.” I leave him standing in the spare room to go change.

  “Have a seat on the bed,” Grim instructs when I return in yoga pants and a t-shirt. I hesitate for just a second. The reasons I want these things gone haven’t changed just because I’m nervous.

  “Should I lie down?”

  “Whatever makes you feel more comfortable, more grounded.”

  “Grounded? Maybe I should just sit on the floor or outside.” I chuckle to hide the wobble in my voice and my uncertainty.

  “This is fine, Omnia.”

  I scoot into the center of the bed and fold my legs under me, placing my palms on my butterflied knees. “Okay, what next?”

  “Close your eyes, relax.”

  I do as Grim tells me and let out a long breath. I feel the bed shift as he takes a seat near me. I’m tempted to peek at him, but I fight the urge.

  “First, I want you to think about your breathing: in through your nose, out through your mouth.” Grim’s voice is low, calm.

  I try to forget why I’m doing this and just focus on what I’m doing. After a minute or so, he says, “Now I want you to envision yourself sitting on the bed. Imagine what you would look like, as if you could see yourself in a mirror.”

  I think about the clothes I just put on, the way my hair looked the last time I saw myself in a mirror. It’s surprisingly easy. It’s almost like I can really see myself sitting on the bed. Grim is to my left, his gray eyes trained on me.

  His mouth opens and I hear him speak. “Stop looking at me and focus on yourself, your aura. What do you see?” The fact that he knows I’m looking at him almost distracts me enough to snap me out of the vision, or whatever this is. How the hell does he even know I’m looking at him?

  I force myself to look at myself sitting on the bed. My hair looks a little frizzy. “I don’t see my aura. It’s just me.”

  “Shush,” Grim admonishes. “Keep looking, look past the exterior.”

  I watch my lips poke out in a pout and immediately school my features. It wasn’t even intentional.

  It takes me several more minutes, but after focusing on my breathing and just staring at myself on the bed, my features start to blur, and I notice a slight shimmering around my body, almost as if there’s a hidden light source coming from behind me.

  Within seconds I can see the full effect. There are several colors swirling around the center of my body. I inhale sharply when I see a green glob that keeps darting all over and disappearing around my back. A more sluggish bit of orange is hanging around my feet. Instinctually, I know these are the foreign souls.

  Another bit of bright yellow, almost gold, catches my attention, but Grim speaks and my incorporeal self almost jerks back to my body. “You see them, what doesn’t belong,” he mutters. I pull myself back again so I’m hovering far enough way that I don’t feel like I’m going to be pulled back into my body. I can see them; how does he know?

  “Now, instead of thinking of your aura as a shield to protect you, think of it as a screen that allows things that don’t belong to pass through.”

  In my mind, I imagine what that would look like, and the shift happens almost immediately. The green invader pushes past my mostly grayish blue field, and once it’s through the barrier, it almost explodes as it expands into millions of tiny pinpricks until I can’t see any of the green any longer.

  Grim lets out a little sound of approval. I turn my attention to the orange glob near my feet and catch a glimpse of the small, yellow blip again, but nothing about it feels wrong or intrusive. Instead, it makes me feel almost happy, but I can’t explain why.

  Without any prompting from me, the orange slowly ebbs away from my aura and disappears almost immediately the moment it’s free.

  “Perfect.” Grim’s voice draws my attention, and I open my mouth to tell him that wasn’t so hard, but I’m snapped back into my body and I end up mumbling some sort of nonsensical syllables. I sway like I just got off a carnival ride, and a laugh erupts from my gut. A giddy feeling of euphoria fills me, and I launch myself at Grim.

  He catches me against his chest with ease, and his chin tips down so I get the most perfect view of his gray eyes as little flames of fire flicker to life. “Thanks, Loverboy,” I murmur, as the laughter dies and a new emotion blossoms to life. I’ve never had anyone to rely on—well, I didn’t know I had anyone to rely on. Turns out Grim has been with me from the beginning.

  I curl my arms around his torso and nuzzle my cheek against his soft shirt. “I already feel better, thank you.” Instead of speaking, Grim gently places his arms around me and strokes my hair.

  Not that long ago, this kind of touch would have made me very uncomfortable. I would have hidden my feelings behind my sexuality and just tried to fuck him. I’m not saying being this close to Grim doesn’t make me want to jump his bones like a greedy trollop, but there’s something really special about just letting him or the others hold me.

  “Food’s ready!” Gunnar bellows from the bottom of the stairs.

  “Do you think they heard him back at the mansion?” I tease, while pulling back from Grim.

  “Doubtful, but not from lack of effort,” he deadpans.

  Standing, I reach down and offer Grim my hand. He accepts it but doesn’t pull against me to rise. “Did you just make a joke?”

  “Did you think it was funny?”

  “I did, but I’m pretty easy to impress.” We walk out of the room hand and hand. I decide I’d much rather sleep in there than in Kim’s bed. She probably has some reverse succubus powers that would sap my lust for sex, or worse, the guys’. I don’t think I could go back to Buzz and still be satisfied after knowing what it’s like to let someone actually know my body, what I like, and what drives me crazy.

  “Then yes, I was jesting,” Grim responds, not realizing my thoughts have already wandered elsewhere. He places my hand on his bent arm and escorts me down the stairs like a debutant at her debut. I love every second of it.

  The smell of food hits me and my stomach doesn’t revolt at the thought. My mouth doesn’t immediately start to water like it did with the soup, but I’m definitely intrigued. I note the three plates already filled on the table as Grim guides me over. I’m not offended they aren’t offering me any; I’m sure they think I ate the soup just to encourage Torin to eat.

  Grim pulls out my chair before taking a seat himself. I lean over and smell the food on Calix’s plate. “What do you have there?”

  “Pancakes. I found some chocolate chips,” Calix singsongs. “Want a bite?” I know he’s only offering to be considerate, or from habit, but I nod my head.

  “You do?” Gunnar drops his fork, surprised by my response.

  I place my hand low on my stomach. “I think I still feel kind of hungry.”

  “Did you help her get rid of the souls?” Calix’s brow furrows.

 
“Yes, she did remarkably well.” Grim picks up his silverware and holds them as if he’s been trained in fine manners.

  “Well then, feed her. She’s hungry,” Gunnar demands, scowling at Grim, assuming I want my normal fare of sins.

  “I believe she said she wanted the bite he offered.” He points at Calix, using his butter knife. It shouldn’t be threatening, but it somehow is.

  “Wait, you were serious?” Calix looks around like he’s expecting one of us to say, ‘just kidding.’

  Feeling slightly self-conscious, I give a half shrug. “Yeah, maybe being around you guys eating all the time is making food more tolerable.” As a child, I always thought being made to eat was a form of punishment because I would always get sick after. “Or maybe…” I pause to sort the thoughts streaming through my mind. “I don’t know, Grim said I should have been born normal.” I give a small, self-deprecating laugh. “Maybe that’s what this is. Me being normal.”

  Neither of the explanations makes a lot of sense, but I don’t have any other theories just yet. Hell, who knows? This is probably all some sort of a fluke. Holding on to the souls for so long and not being able to consume sins just confused the hell out of my body, so it’s looking for sustenance anywhere it can get it.

  Calix scoots his entire plate and his chair closer to me. Using just the fork, he cuts into the thick pancake, taking a small piece off the corner and offering me the morsel. Without hesitating, I lean over and take the bite. The syrup drips down my chin then lands on my shirt. “Great,” I mumble around the super sweet tidbit.

  “Well?” Gunnar is leaning over the table, waiting for some kind of reaction from me. The thought of swallowing doesn’t make me want to puke, so I do. “How is it?” he asks impatiently.

  “Really sweet, but good.” I lift my hand, but Calix catches me before I can wipe my face. He licks the pad of his thumb and runs it under my chin, taking the sticky syrup, and then he pops his thumb into his mouth, sucking it clean.

  Well damn, I’m half tempted to lie on the table and cover myself in the sticky shit and let all three of them clean me up.

  “Eat more.” Calix inches a little closer, and his hazel eyes are glued to my face in a way that I think would normally have Gunnar complaining.

  “Only if she wants to,” Gunnar interjects.

  “Do you want more?” Calix’s voice is deep. Fuck me, but I’m pretty sure he’s absolutely turned on right now.

  “Maybe just a little more.” I watch his pupils dilate, and he cuts off another piece, this one just as small. He lifts the fork again, but when it hits my lower lip instead of going into my open mouth, I’m pretty sure he did it on purpose. I take the bite and lick my bottom lip, watching as Calix’s breathing picks up.

  “Fucking shifters.” Gunnar slams his fork down and shoves his chair away from the table. I watch how stiff his shoulders are as he stalks away, leaving his food mostly untouched.

  Grim picks up his and Gunnar’s plates before he stands. “I’m trusting you to curb your urges and to listen to her.” I’m a little confused as to why Grim is leaving and what he means with his instruction.

  “I will,” Calix answers gutturally.

  “What’s happening right now? It was just a few bites of food.” Grim doesn’t stick around to answer, he follows Gunnar deeper into the house.

  I’m still staring after him when I feel my chair get jerked to the right and turned. Instead of facing the table, I’m now facing Calix. My knees are between his legs, and with deft movements, he grabs the underside of my chair and tugs me forward so I’m as close to him as possible without kneeing him in the balls.

  Calix doesn’t answer me either. Instead, he gets another bite of food ready for me. “This okay?”

  I give myself a second to think about how my stomach is actually feeling. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

  “Not until I know you’ve gotten enough.” Calix’s eyes roam over me as if I were sitting at the table naked, not in a shirt with a syrup stain over my tit.

  I lean forward and speak softly. “Do you have a food kink or something?” It’s clear he’s worked up. Even if my knee weren’t resting against his dick, I would know just by the way he’s looking at me.

  “Not a food kink.” He shakes his head, but his eyes are locked on mine. “Feeding my mate,” he growls, and runs his tongue over his top teeth. It’s a predatory thing to do. The bite of pancake is still poised in the air, and there’s syrup dripping on his jeans and he doesn’t even notice.

  “So, this is a shifter thing?” I make the connection to what Gunnar said as he stormed away from the table. “This is important to you.” I frown, how did I not know this?

  “Have you had enough?” Calix’s hand starts to lower.

  I’m feeling okay, and I can tell this is really important to him, even if he’s not saying it. “Just one more bite.”

  Calix dips the food back into the syrup and extends it to me. His entire body moves with his arm, leaning in close to me. I take the bite, never breaking eye contact with him.

  He makes a grunting sound and tosses the fork back to the table. Before I’m even done chewing, he reaches forward and hauls me against his body. I wrap my arms around his neck as he arranges my legs so I’m straddling his waist.

  I can feel his hardness beneath me, and his body is throwing off all kinds of heat. Feeling his excitement arouses me, but it also makes me a little sad. I didn’t know this was something he was missing. What if I can’t give it to him regularly?

  Calix nuzzles his nose against my throat, his lips dragging all over my skin as he explores. I feel his hand clamp down on my shoulder, crushing me to him. In that moment, I know I would suffer a little belly ache for him, for this. Anything that’s important to him is important to me.

  Calix’s free hand skates down my body, and he cups my breast. I arch the little amount his grip allows, loving the way his touch feels on my body. We’re pressed together so tightly, I can feel how fast his heart is beating and hear how hard he’s breathing. My eyes fall closed, and I forget about everything but this moment. I don’t worry why or how we ended up here, I just enjoy every fucking second of it.

  Calix pulls at the collar of my shirt and tugs it down, his lips pressing against the newly exposed skin as if he can’t get enough of me. His grip on my shoulder lessens as I feel his fingers trail over my back until he’s cupping my ass and grinding up into me.

  We have way too many clothes between us for me to feel anything except the pressure where we’re connected. I claw at the back of his shirt, more than prepared to shred it to get to what’s underneath.

  Calix shifts his legs and tightens his hold on my ass as he stands. He never makes it fully upright though, because he bends over and lays me on the table. His hand swipes across the tabletop, and a I hear a plate crash against the floor. I freeze. I don’t know if the sound is enough to have Gunnar running in here. When I don’t hear any yelling, I open my eyes to find Calix staring down at me. His eyes have taken on the golden glow he seems to display when he’s shifted into his lion form.

  I trace my finger along his cheek, and he leans into my caress, his lips parting on an exhale. I move my touch lower, but the fabric of his shirt stops me from touching his skin. “Take this off,” I order.

  Keeping his lower body against mine, Calix leans back and pulls his shirt up and off before tossing it carelessly to the side. I sit up and remove my shirt and bra too.

  The soft hair on his chest teases against my skin as he leans down and covers me. The hard table beneath me doesn’t give a bit, so he feels extra heavy against me. Calix kisses me softly, tasting my lips and mouth as if I’m delicate, before moving back to my neck and chest. His tongue is even rougher than usual, it catches on my skin and makes me shiver in delight.

  As he continues down my body, I feel his fingers hook the waistband of my pants. Without prompting, I lift my hips, urging him to take them off, but he doesn’t. “I’m going to devour every inch
of you, Dami.” He gently sucks the underside of my breast into his mouth and pulls hard enough to leave a bruise. I arch up and cradle the back of his head, feeling his long, silky strands sift through my fingers.

  When his mouth latches onto my nipple, I fist my hand in his hair and begin to roll my hips when he swirls his tongue around my bud. The dual textures of his tongue are wreaking havoc on my senses. Just when I get used to the roughness, he curls his tongue back and I feel the slick, smooth underside slide across my nipple.

  I damn near whimper when he releases me and turns his focus to my other breast. When I arch up again, he cups my pussy. A soft feral sound comes up from his chest and vibrates my skin.

  “You’re burning up and so wet. I can feel how much you need me.” Using the tips of his fingers, Calix pushes my damp panties to the side and runs his fingers up and down my lower lips. I lift my hips, hoping he will slide his fingers inside me or at least find my clit, but he doesn’t. Instead, he puts a little extra pressure on the heel of his hand and my clit throbs in response.

  “Take my pants off and put your mouth on me,” I beg, shimmying my legs in an effort to get the material off.

  I feel Calix grin against my skin before he flicks my nipple with his tongue. My lower body tightens, making me feel like I might orgasm already. “Eager, are we?”

  I lift my head and look at him, his eyes meeting mine, but he doesn’t stop licking and sucking my nipple. The way his body is curled protectively over mine makes me want him even more.

  I reach down and try to pull him closer, my nails scraping against his side, and he sucks in a sharp breath, hissing.

  Using two of his fingers, he parts me and slides his middle finger inside me. His movements are shallow from the restriction of my pants, but it’s still enough to have my head dropping back against the table with a thud.

  After giving a little more attention to my tits, Calix finally works his way down my body with light kisses and caresses. My heart rate kicks up when I finally feel him start to tug my yoga pants down the rest of the way. I lift my hips off the table to help him. Thankfully, he takes my underwear too, leaving me bare assed on a stranger’s kitchen table. Not a new experience, but it’s different because I’m with Calix. I don’t even consider asking him if he wants to go to the bedroom.