Some Kind of Monster

by Albany Walker

  He must see my concern, because he says, “It’s nothing. Why are you bent over and breathing like that?” His eyes roll around in his head a little, proving his injuries are not nothing to worry about and he’s fighting to stay conscious.

  I hold up my finger and grumble as the tightening in my stomach intensifies. “What the fuck?” Grim curses. I lift my head and look at him. The only time he swears is when we’re fucking. It’s a rare show of emotion for him.

  “Are you…?” Calix doesn’t voice the rest of his hesitant question, but I nod.

  “Yup, I think so. Apparently she didn’t want to miss out on all the action. I’m just a little late getting the memo.” I straighten up a little, and my lower back aches with a twinge of pain.

  I expect someone to burst into action, but instead all three of them just gape at me, each with varying expressions of horror. “Now’s when we go to the fucking hospital!” I bark.

  That spurs them to move. Grim reaches for me, and I know his intention is to blink us there, so I swat him away. “No, no way. We’re driving.”

  His eyes are wide. I’ve never once seen this man afraid, and he looks damn near terrified. “I’ll get the car.” Calix is gone the next instant.

  “You’ve gotta clean yourselves up. You look like you just left a massacre, which is true, but we can’t go to the hospital like that.” The tightening in my belly starts again. “Ugh…” I groan. It couldn’t have even been more than a minute or two since the last one. Grim moves closer to me, lays his hand on my back, and begins to slowly rub. I don’t know if I want to shove him away or crawl into his arms. “This actually hurts,” I mutter incredulously.

  “Oh, Dami, of course it hurts. Did you think it wouldn’t?” Gunnar questions softly after sitting up. He winces, and I feel a little bad for complaining about being in pain after looking at the side of his face, which is still all red and angry.

  I still growl, “Shut up.”

  Gunnar lifts his hands in surrender as the sound of a car speeding down a dirt road, throwing rocks and hitting bumps, fills my ears. “Calix’s here, let’s get you to the car.”

  Grim keeps his hand on my back and guides me around to the front of the house. We have to step over discarded clothes to get there, but I barely notice. Good thing Grim can conjure up clothing. Calix pulls up as close to us as he can. Gunnar was slow to rise from the ground, but he wobbles behind us, seeming to grow stronger, or at least steadier, with every second that passes. “Move faster,” Grim orders.

  “You move faster,” Gunnar retorts defensively.

  “Both of you get in the car.” My voice is harsh and low as I climb into the back seat. Grim slides in next to me before Gunnar has the chance.

  “You’re such a dick,” Gunnar grumbles, as he slams the door after gingerly getting into the front seat. Calix hits the gas and we speed away from the scene. I lean my head back against the seat and rub my belly. Despite the pain, a wave of relief settles over me. Antonio, or Boogey, is dead. I don’t have to worry about him hurting my friends or him coming after me.

  “Is it coming again? I thought contractions started out slow, like ten minutes apart.” Calix turns halfway around between the two front seats to watch me.

  “Watch the road! When they first started, I didn’t realize what it was, my stomach just felt tight.” I lean back and enjoy the temporary reprieve sitting offers. “But no, I’m not having one right now,” I tell him.

  “How far is the hospital? I should just take her.” Grim looks out the front windshield.

  “It’s not far, everything is fine,” Calix assures him.

  “Just drive,” Grim orders.

  “I can drive and talk. He is such a dick,” Calix laments, talking to Gunnar.

  The rest of the ride to the hospital passes in a blur. I have another contraction, which Grim holds my hand through. Sitting no longer feels like a reprieve. I want out of the car. Being able to walk and move around through the pain feels easier.

  Gunnar gets out of the car first when Calix pulls up right in front of the emergency room entrance. The moment the double doors open, letting out the despair and antiseptic smell, my teeth start to chatter. His face is still a little red and swollen, but it looks more like he was in a fight than burned.

  I’ve only gone to a few appointments. Needing a doctor is something new to me since I’ve never gotten sick, but giving birth in the hospital was something I insisted on. However, now I just want to turn around and go home. I’m not sure I’m ready for this.

  Gunnar takes my hand and guides me through the doors. There’s an attractive woman behind a high desk who stands when she sees me waddle in, and it’s definitely a waddle. “How can I help you?”

  I slap my hands on the counter and lean over as another wave of pain starts. “She’s having contractions.” Gunnar rubs my back as I breathe through the pain.

  “Is she registered here? Has her doctor been notified?” she asks in a calm voice. I’m sure this is something she sees regularly.

  “Get the doctor,” Grim orders from behind me. I reach out and end up snagging his shirt in my fist.

  “No, we thought we had more time for that.” Gunnar keeps his tone even.

  “How many weeks are you? Do you have a history of premature labor?”

  Instead of answering, I turn my head into Grim’s chest and rock from side to side. It’s easier to take the pain when I’m moving. “This is our first baby. Her contractions are only minutes apart,” Calix answers. I don’t even know when he arrived. I thought he went to park the car.

  “You’re the father?” I can hear the woman’s curiosity in her tone.

  “Is there someone here more competent than you?” Grim growls. “We need a doctor.”

  “So, this is an emergency?” she inquires. If my guts didn’t feel like someone replaced them with a vise, I would smack her upside her head.

  “Get me a fucking doctor!” Grim shouts. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard him even raise his voice. I expected Gunnar to be the one hollering.

  I pat his chest. “Please calm down. They will kick you out and I need you here. I need all of you here,” I whisper. Now that the pain has passed, I stand up straight and look the woman in the face. She has a phone receiver in her hand and her eyes are wide.

  “How do I register? I need to see a doctor.”

  “Just sign in here. We’ll get you right back,” she says softly.

  “You could have just said that in the first place,” Calix snaps, and snatches the electronic pen attached to a little blue screen she pointed to. “I’ll do this,” he mutters, dismissing us from the counter.

  Grim leads me a few feet away. It’s the first time I’ve realized we aren’t alone in the waiting room. I ignore the stares and lean against Grim. Gunnar comes over and stands behind me. It’s rare for him to be this close while I’m touching one of the other guys, and his effort doesn’t go unnoticed. With every twinge, I expect the pain to return, but I get a short respite.

  Calix meets us near a vending machine after filling out the form. “Do you want to sit down?” He looks at the industrial plastic chairs and scowls.

  “No, I think the contractions are slowing down. Maybe we’ll be able to go home.” I breathe a sigh of relief.

  “We should just go. I’ll bring a doctor to you,” Grim offers.

  “No, we need to be here, they have all the equipment,” Gunnar reminds Grim. We’ve actually had this conversation before.

  “Where are they?” Calix looks back toward the front desk.

  “It’s only been ninety seconds, calm down,” Gunnar replies.

  “Stars, I think we’re in the twilight zone,” I mumble, surprised he’s being the voice of reason.

  “Daniella,” a male nurse calls after stepping out from a set of double doors. “Daniella?” He looks right at me.

  “Damiana,” I correct.

  “Sorry about that.” He plasters a weak smile on his face. “Do you need a whe
elchair?”

  “No, I’d rather walk.” I head in his direction, and all three guys follow.

  “Who’s the… father?” He glances at the three of them.

  “We are,” Gunnar answers. I figured we would have to talk about this once we were in a room, not in the lobby. Not that I care.

  “Ah… which one of you will be coming back with her?” The nurse hesitates.

  “All of us.” Grim steps forward and looms over the guy. The nurse blinks several times and does a little shake of his head. If I had to bet, I’d say Grim just gave him the glowy glare.

  “I’m afraid that’s against policy,” he mumbles.

  “You’re not going to win this one,” I deadpan. “Make it easier on everyone here and just ignore them… please,” I add as an afterthought.

  He must agree, because the double doors open again, and all of us follow him back to a little curtained-off cubical. I can hear other patients’ monitors beeping and the hushed sounds of people talking.

  The nurse grabs a folded gown from the top of a pile and hands it to me. “Put this on so it opens in the front. Do you need a hand?”

  Gunnar snatches Grim’s hand out of the air when he reaches for the nurse. “We got it.”

  “I’ll be back in just a few.” The guy’s feet couldn’t carry him any faster unless he was running.

  I face Grim, giving him a droll look, but it morphs into a grimace as a contraction hits me hard and fast. This one doesn’t have a lot of buildup. Scratch that: there’s plenty of buildup; this one is just twice as intense. “Holy shit demons.” I lean forward and plant my hands on the plastic-coated mattress and cheap white sheet.

  Gunnar steps up behind me and spans his hands over my lower back. His thumbs are in the center above my tailbone, and he starts circling them while applying a lot of pressure. “You’ve got to breathe, Dami,” he mutters softly, while his fingers do some sort of magic on my back. I take a deep breath in through my nose and blow it out of my mouth. “Good, just keep breathing,” he encourages.

  “What the hell is he doing?” Calix asks.

  “Shut up, it’s working,” I snap. As soon as I stand, Gunnar steps back, giving me a little space. Calix is holding the gown up, his face slightly solemn. Grim helps me undress quickly. Thankfully, the robe-gown thingy is so big I can still close it over my belly. I start to shiver almost immediately. I don’t think it’s just because it’s chilly in here, but Grim pulls up a heavy woven white blanket from the end of the bed to cover me when I get situated.

  I note a pair of shoes nearing from under the drapes. “All set?” a heavily accented male voice inquires, before he pulls back the curtain without waiting for a response.

  He doesn’t seem bothered by the fact that there’s barely any standing room left in the tiny space. He shoulders his way through the group to stand at the end of my bed. “Good evening, Damiana.” He doesn’t pronounce my name perfectly, but it’s better than most. “And how are we doing?” The guy is young, fit, and good-looking. I couldn’t care less, but I don’t think the guys will feel the same. Great.

  “That’s what I came here to find out.” I can already feel another contraction coming, so I close my eyes and breathe. Gunnar leans me forward and rubs my lower back as best as he can while I’m sitting in a hospital bed.

  “Contraction?” His voice becomes high at the end. “Good, good, let’s see how things are going. Can you lie back for me?”

  “She’s hurting, let her get through this,” Calix barks.

  “This is the best time to check. Might be uncomfortable, but it gives me an accurate assessment,” he states pragmatically. “Lie back.”

  “You don’t have to, sweetheart. Wait until you’re ready.” Calix’s tone is soft, but his face is hard as nails as he glowers at the doctor.

  “It’s fine, let’s do this.” It’s rough, but I lie back and scoot down on the bed like the doctor asks. As soon as he reaches for my gown, Grim grabs his hand. The doctor’s mouth opens and he bends his body, trying to get away from the pain Grim must be inflicting on him.

  “Do not touch.” Grim’s voice is no longer just his. Oh, shit.

  “Grim,” I call through clenched teeth. His eyes, full of flames, dart to mine. “C’mere.” I beckon him over with a wave of my hand. I’m already exhausted, and we just got started.

  He drops the doctor’s hand and is up near my head in a blink. His hand goes to my temple, and he brushes my hair away from my face. “He’s got to touch me, Loverboy, he needs to see how the baby is.”

  “The machine will do it,” Grim decrees, being very unreasonable.

  “That’s not how this is going to work; you knew this,” I remind him. By now, the contraction is over and I can look him dead in the eye. “Let him check me out so we can make sure she’s okay.”

  His beautiful gray eyes narrow, but he scowls. “Fine.” He whips his head to the side so he can stare down the doctor.

  I give the doctor a nod to go ahead. He’s wearing a fairly nasty scowl on his face as he stretches out his hand, moving all of his fingers. Eventually, he goes for the hem of the gown again, his eyes on Grim instead of my crotch where they should be. Great.

  “Are we sure we’re doing this?” Calix looks around, his eyes wide.

  “Doing what? Having a baby? It’s a little late for that.” I lean my head back when I feel the doctor’s cold, glove-covered hand touch my inner thigh. I don’t want to do this any more than they want him to do this, but like I said, not much of a choice at this point.

  I jump when his fingers touch my labia. This is weird. I curl closer to Grim and bury my face against his shirt, it’s soft and smells like home. A hand lands on my upper arm from the other side of the bed.

  “Hurry up,” Gunnar demands from farther away.

  “How long have you been having contractions?” the doctor asks, removing his gloves with a snap.

  “A while, but only this strong for a little bit, maybe an hour.”

  “I’ll call up and get you a room. You’re a little over four centimeters and the head is low. We need to know how far along you are so they know to have the NICU on standby if need be.”

  “Thirty-two weeks,” Gunnar tells him before I can.

  “But it was an estimate. My periods have never been very regular.” The lie tastes like ash on my tongue.

  “Lungs should be fine then. I’ll make sure they’re on standby just in case.” The doctor stands to leave. “Do you need anything for the pain now?” he inquires, before pushing the curtain aside.

  “It’s going to get worse, right?”

  “Yeah, you’re still in the early stages,” he confirms.

  I let my head fall back against the bed again and the sheet crinkles under me. “I’ll wait a little.”

  “A note of caution.” He turns around and glances at each of us. “They won’t tolerate this shit up there. You give them grief, they will kick you out, and you will not be allowed back in. You want to be with her when the baby’s born? Calm the hell down.” With those parting words, he leaves. I can’t even blame him, we’re kind of a handful.

  The hours tick by slowly, yet so fast. I finally received an epidural about thirty minutes ago, and I’m kicking myself for not doing it sooner. I don’t have anything to prove, and this shit hurts. I feel like my guts are being turned to soup.

  Not surprisingly, but very conveniently, all my nurses are female, and there’s no shortage of them, either. I think most of them are coming in to see my guys rather than me, but they always make a point to pretend to check up on me.

  The ER doctor’s warning about them not screwing around up here was total crap. Every time I turn around, another one of them is giggling and asking if the guys need anything. They even ordered dinner for them from the cafe downstairs. I didn’t get shit but some fucking ice chips.

  Assholes! “What are you grumbling about?” Grim pushes my hair away from my face. He’s much calmer now. I think the epidural helped him too
, except the part where he had to leave the room. I thought that might lead to dead bodies, but Calix convinced him to leave so they could help me manage the pain.

  “I’m having a baby, my vag is going to be all stretched out, and they’re flirting.” I narrow my eyes. “You better still love me after.”

  Grim gives me one of his rare wide smiles, the kind he reserves for me. “No one has ever loved anyone as much as I love you.” He leans in and kisses the side of my mouth. I nuzzle my face against him when he starts to pull away.

  Now that I can think past the pain, fear is infiltrating my thoughts. “What if I can’t do this?”

  “You’re already doing it,” he assures me. I look over and see the numbers on the machine next to me. It tells me the baby’s heartbeat and it’s monitoring my contractions. I can still feel the tightening, but the pain that comes with it is just an echo.

  A nurse walks over, her voice unnecessarily loud and chipper. “Ready for me to check you again? It’s been a little bit since you got the meds. They working good?”

  I nod on both accounts. At this point, I know the drill when they want to check me—heels near my butt, knees out wide. She gloves up and slides her hand under the blanket. I squirm from her touch, but the sensation is much duller now.

  “Oh, oh, oh, you’re just about ready,” she singsongs. “That was fast. Your body relaxed a little and did all the work.” She pulls off the gloves and starts moving around the room, turning on brighter lights and pushing the privacy curtain out of the way. She even drags over a low stool near the end of the bed.

  “I’m going to page the on-call doctor.” Then she’s out the door. Two other nurses come in just a few minutes later. One is pushing a tall metal cart that has a tiny little cot about waist high with bright lights above it. There are monitors and buttons all over it, much like the ones next to my bed.

  “Stars. I’m about to have a baby?” I fist the sheets and my heart monitor beeps, but everyone ignores it. Gunnar comes over to the side of the bed and takes my hand in his. “What if she’s different?” I widen my eyes, hoping he’ll understand my concerns.