by Ally Sky
"You ruined the party," my voice brakes.
"It starts now," he leans over my lips again. "The matter is closed, now kiss me."
Now or never. Now or forever I will regret the moment when I didn't kiss him, and I don't want to regret it. I don’t want to wait another minute and miss my second chance. I kiss him like I never have before, with my lips and tongue, with sighs released from my mouth and my quick breathing. I kiss him and bite his lip and pull at his hair, holding him against me. He runs his hand between us into my shirt, pulling my bra down and clenching my breast, playing my nipple with his fingers until I moan with pleasure. I lift my hips, but he pushes them back to the bed, his erection pressing me to the mattress.
"Time to undress you," he mumbles as I feel his erection between my legs again.
"Help me."
He slides off the bed with a light movement, unbuttoning my jeans and releasing the zipper. He puts his hands in the space between my pants and my waist and peels them away slowly, torturing me, making sure I feel every hungry inch of my skin.
"Sit." He throws my pants to the floor and holds out his hands to me.
I use him to sit up, raise my hands and let him take off my t-shirt, leaving me in my bra and panties.
My gaze wanders over his body as he dislodges his shoes and socks, unbuttons his jeans and pulls them off his muscular thighs, his calves, until they disappear into the pile of clothes, and all that remains are his boxers.
My trembling fingers barely manage to release my bra. I take off one shoulder strap, then a second, feeling a strong desire to cover my chest with my hands.
"Don't hide," he climbs back to the bed.
"I'm shaking," I mumble and lie down again.
"I can see that." His mouth meets my collarbone. "Breathe, Elizabeth."
He walks slowly with his lips toward my breast. I spread my legs, and Colin lays between them, placing himself above me, flipping his mouth over my nipple. His teeth tease it, command it to stand up. He doesn't pause. His kisses slide down to my navel, toward my scar. His tongue inquires, chilling, not missing a millimeter. He rolls down my panties, pulling them down my thighs and knees until they cross my ankles and are thrown to the floor. I remain completely naked beneath him. Under his mouth, blowing at the knot between my thighs.
"I'm going to kiss you, Lizzie." His head dives again, his lips clinging to the hill hidden between my legs and he sucks with lust, until I shout, and my head is thrown back wildly. He's not done, he's not even started. He doesn't take mercy on me, and before I can catch my breath his fingers are inside me. I drizzle, I feel them slide in effortlessly, my body urging him to continue. My back arches, Colin reaches for my pelvis, holding me in place, his tongue everywhere. The tension is building, begging to break free with every sigh I release. He increases the rhythm with his fingers, inside me, on my clitoris, with a force that sends lightning up my spine.
"I . . ." I can't breathe or finish the sentence or tell him I'm close. So close he must not stop!
He bites and pulls, strokes, and I scream like I have never screamed. My body swings on the bed, a wave of pleasure exploding between my thighs and misting my senses. It doesn't stop him, he squeezes my orgasm more and more, and in the next moment he rises and stands beside the bed to remove his boxers.
I gasp when his erection springs out. He reaches for one of the silver packages, opens it skillfully, and rolls the condom on the throbbing organ. Then he climbs toward me briskly, puts his hands to the sides of my head, his erection wanting to go where his fingers were.
I spread my legs more, grasping his shoulder blades and not taking my eyes off his as he penetrates me, slowly pushing himself into me. His forehead drops to mine as he hisses a juicy curse. My heart goes wild, my lips searching for his, finding them and kissing, my tongue squeezing into his mouth.
He moves inside me. He comes out, then in, refusing to increase the slow pace. Savoring every second, every breath, my fingers scratching his skin.
"You're killing me," he claims. "I'm sixteen again."
"Sorry." I sigh and lift my pelvis to meet his next move.
"Do that again, and I won't be responsible for what I do." He growls like an animal.
"This?" I groan as my pelvis rises to him uncontrollably.
"I warned you." He slams himself to the hilt.
Oh God!
"Again?" He slips out slowly.
"Yes," I answer, and he fulfils my wish, increasing the pace abruptly, the slowness disappears. Now we are one body moving in perfect synchronization, in and out. He captures me, I groan and wrap my legs around his waist as his penetration deepens.
"Jesus Christ!" His skin shines with sweat, our eyes locked. "Elizabeth . . ."
He slams into me again and again, breathing rapidly, until his body shudders and he curses, pushing himself deep inside me, his head thrown back with a loud sigh.
"Lizzie!"
He falls into my arms, his head in the hollow of my neck, his chest rising and falling.
I kiss his hair.
I run my fingers on his back.
I love him, and I'll kill whoever tries to come between us again.
If it was possible to stop time, this is the moment I would choose, the moment before the words. The seconds where the eyes speak, the breath and the fingers travel on the skin. The silence in my bedroom and Colin's lips on mine. When the world is locked out and is not permitted entry into our temple.
This is the moment I would choose to frame, the picture I would bury under my pillow and look at every night.
His look says it all.
"Are you okay?" he whispers almost without a sound, without disturbing the perfection.
"Yes. Are you?" We lie so close, face to face. The air comes out of one and enters the other, like a circle without beginning or end.
"No," he softly presses his lips against mine, "I'm not okay."
"Why?" I frown.
"You're not my wife. Yet." He raises his eyebrow mischievously.
"Oh," I swallow, "that."
"Marry me," he asks, again. A moment after he met my body and my heart, a moment after he got what he wanted, he wants more.
"You won't stop asking, will you?" My voice cracks in a whisper.
"No." He smiles.
"What will we tell Vivian?"
"The truth. We'll tell her Mom and Dad love each other and want to be a family."
"I'm afraid of confusing her."
"She's five. If we're clear, she'll understand."
"Don't you think it's unnecessary?" I lie down on my back and stare at the ceiling, but Colin won't accept the distance, his body clinging to my side. "We don't have anyone to invite, just my parents, and Henry and Danielle."
"Since when are we getting married for them?" he asks with a smile.
"Since when are we getting married?" I remind him that I haven't said yes yet.
"I thought it's what you wanted."
"I thought so too, but now it seems unnecessary."
"What's changed?" He strokes my forearm, chilling me. I don't want to hurt him, but things have to be said. The dream of the white dress suddenly seems so childish, almost unreal.
"A wedding won't change anything," I reply hesitantly. "If someone wants to leave, nothing will stop them. Not a signed document, not even a pregnancy."
"Are you still waiting for me to leave again?" he murmurs in frustration.
"No."
"Good."
"I'm just saying that a wedding is not what will stop you." It didn’t stop him before, and it won’t stop him in the future. He will stay because he'll choose to, not for any other reason.
"So a wedding in your eyes was a safety measure?" He seems to have trouble understanding. "Is that what you thought before, that this is the way to tie two people together so that they can't part?"
"Yes," I realize how naive I was, "and I was wrong. Now I don't think it's something I need."
"And what if it’s something
I want?"
"You'll have to convince me." It won't be easy.
"Okay." His voice is confidant.
"Okay?" Is that all he has to say? Is he not going to present me with an argument and prove his righteousness?
"You don't want to get married, I do. We have to talk about it more, but right now we have five and a half hours for ourselves, and I won't waste them talking."
Ah. That explains a lot.
"What do you have in mind?" I turn my head to him.
"Your orgasms." His answer causes my cheeks to burn. "You need a few more, and I haven't been inside you for a long time."
"It's been fifteen minutes since you were inside me."
"Like I said," he kisses my lips, "long ago."
"You're going to exhaust me, aren't you?"
"Hell yeah." He has a mischievous spark in his eyes. God only knows what he's thinking, what ways he has to leave me breathless.
"Why did you bring condoms?" I insist on destroying the moment at the worst possible time. Why can't I shut up for once?
"What do you mean?" He purses his brow.
"You said you were clean."
"I didn't say I expected you to believe me."
"Did you think I'd ask to see your blood tests?"
"Yes, and I wouldn't blame you." He knows me. He knows I won't accept his explanations easily, certainly not when it comes to my health.
"I want to see your blood tests," I whisper in the hope that he won't be offended.
"I'll email them to you. Will that satisfy you?"
"No." I smile mischievously, and with slow motion I climb on top of him, straddling him, his body under me, moving my pelvis on the erection growing between my thighs, as Colin reaches for the nearest condom. "You will satisfy me, and you have five and a half hours to do so."
Chapter 34
My legs are shaking. I'm sitting in the passenger seat of Colin's jeep, on our way to pick up Vivian from daycare. Bieber's disc plays in the background, but neither of us jokes about it. We haven’t said too much, since we barely crawled out of bed. We even gave up our lunch. We had every intention of eating, and we wondered whether to warm something up or go to a restaurant. But then we found ourselves on the carpet in the living room, and then . . . well, on the rickety table in the dining room, which only by divine grace didn't break under us. We are teens again, unable to take our hands off each other. Even now, I'm stroking Colin's arm resting on my thigh.
"Her daycare teacher is named Mrs. Robbins." I don't find anything smart to say.
"I know," he nods. "Viv told me about her, she loves her."
"She doesn't like anybody being late. You have to come on time, always."
"I'll always come on time."
"Even before time. I don't like Viv to be last."
"Before time."
"She knows where her bag is," I start to say, but he interrupts my sentence.
"Lizzie, I'm sure I'll learn where to hang her bag," he gives me a reassuring smile. "I'm sure I'll learn everything over time, but maybe I'm not the only one who has to learn something new?"
"I told you," I know where he's going with this, "I don't know what I want to do."
"You just have to think about it."
"Turn right," I sign with my head.
"It won't go away if we don't talk about it." He doesn't let my obvious avoidance pass.
"I don't have anything smart to say on the matter," I take a deep breath. "I didn't come to any conclusions."
"If you want to stay home—"
"Why would I want to stay home?" The contempt in my voice echoes through the car.
"I'm just saying you can."
"What you're saying is that you'll fund me like a Sugar Daddy. You know me well enough to know it won't happen." I raise my hand obnoxiously, losing the urge to touch or caress him, or to explain to him how insulting his idea is.
"Do I look like a Sugar Daddy?" He laughs and grabs my hand before I can get away from him. He puts my hand on his thigh and strokes my fingers gently. "All options are open to you, that's all I'm saying."
"Sitting at home is not one of them," I say confidently.
"Excellent." He signals to the right to enter the parking lot. "I think we're here."
"Let's go pick up our daughter. Maybe now Daryl will believe her father is back."
"Yes, let's go and get to know the young man." He laughs again.
"He's five, Colin."
"Let's hope Viv is like you," he gives me another smile. "I'd love not to deal with young men until she's old enough."
"And when do you think that will be?"
"When she's about thirty, give or take a few months."
"You're optimistic." I roll my eyes at him.
"That's me, baby." His laugh bursts out. "let's go pick her up, we don't want to come in last."
Mrs. Robbins is staring inquisitively at the mountain of a man next to me. Her gaze shifts from me to him and comes back to me, watching every movement we make.
"Nice to meet you, Mr . . ."
"Young," he fills in the missing detail.
"Daddy!" The cry of our daughter comes a few seconds later, as she runs straight into Colin's arms, who flaunts her in the air.
"You grow too fast." He rubs the tip of his nose with her nose, "Ready to go home?"
"Yes!"
"I'll bring her bag." I smile mockingly at Mrs. Robbins' curious eyes.
"I think your mom is tired." Colin sits Viv on his arm. "How about we drop her home, let her rest while we go out together?"
"I'm fine," I try to resist, even though he's right. I'm exhausted and it's his fault. The thought of the many reasons my muscles hurt make my cheeks burn. How many times did we do it? Enough times to make any movement between my legs noticeable. Maybe that's what he wanted, to leave his mark on my body, to make sure I couldn't think of anything else. I pick up Viv's bag and follow them to the jeep. Colin puts Viv in her seat and gets behind the wheel, me at his side.
"You have to sleep," he throws at me as he starts the car. "Vivian and I'll be all right."
"Are you sure?" I yawn uncontrollably.
"Yes. We'll drop you off. You can join us for dinner at my house."
"Are you taking her to your house?" I'm not sure why it surprises me. She'll get there sooner or later.
"I'm taking her to my house, join us at seven." He's letting me know how it's going to be, and I don't have the strength to argue.
"I'll be happy to rest," I look back at Viv, who is following the conversation. "Are you all right?"
"I want ice cream," she informs me of her priorities.
"I think I have some in the freezer, Viv," Colin smiles at her in the mirror as he glides out of the parking lot. "Why don't we go check?"
"Don't give her too much," I whisper anxiously, and he gives me a quick look that makes me shrink. Okay, I have to relax and not make a fuss over everything. I get it.
"I love this song," Viv interrupts us, with Bieber's voice breaking in the background.
"I think we all know that," Colin turns up the volume. "Let's go home, girls."
He presses the accelerator, as if hoping to get out of the car as soon as possible and away from the music our daughter has been forcing upon us for days.
"My mom is waiting for me." I try to pull my lips from Colin's, but he refuses to release me or take his fingers out of my hair. "I'll see you in a few hours."
He's funny, really. Sometimes I think he's more excited than I am. From the moment he proposed, he was bringing up silly ideas that, if I had agreed, would make our wedding look like an average Mardi Gras. Among the suggestions I rejected outright was a tropical reception (coconut trees, Colin, really?), a dress code (No, I won't ask all the guests to wear hats) and I can’t forget the highlight – a fairy tale wedding (you're not hiring a carriage and horses!).
I just wanted a white dress and to get married in the church with the pastor I've known all my life. I don't even have a bridesmai
d, not that I need one. My mom is too much to deal with, and if this day goes as she plans, I'll get to my wedding not looking like myself.
"Let's elope in Vegas," he whispers under pressure, "give Elvis the honor."
"I'll see you in a few hours," I take a step back, trying to get his body off mine. "Be a good boy and don't do anything foolish in my absence."
"Elizabeth Heart," he seems to be using the last chance to call me by my maiden name, to which I will say goodbye today, "I wish I could make you as happy as you do me."
His words take my breath away.
He doesn't believe me when I tell him how happy I am.
He doesn't believe it when I tell him I'll never love another.
He needs me to prove it to him, and that's exactly what I'm going to do.
So I kiss him. I kiss him and hold him close to me, sighing as his tongue pursues mine hungrily, in pure need.
I'll show you, Colin Young, that you're the only one.
I roll over in bed, surrounded by his smell, curled up in sheets I didn’t change when I got home. I had trouble falling asleep. I wanted to feel close to him. I wanted a few more hours to sniff my pillow and feel everything waking up inside me again.
My phone rings, I pull it from the dresser, and answer my mom wearily.
"Hey, what's going on?"
"My car won't start." Her sentence is the last thing I want to hear. My father is still at work, she needs my help, and there's no way I'll refuse her after all the times she's been there for me. How the wheel turns.
"You need me to come over?" I sit up in bed and stretch, waving goodbye to my afternoon nap.
"Yes, please. I need groceries, the house is empty."
"I'll be over soon." I take my feet off the bed and go to search for my clothes.
"Thank you, see you soon." She hangs up the call. All I can hope is that our shopping won't last long, and I will have plenty of time for myself before dinner at Colin's house.
An hour later, I'm dragged around the store by my mom, who came equipped with a list that would not shame a cook in a banquet. Her cart is loaded, and we find it difficult to have a conversation, as she is running from shelf to shelf.
