by Ally Sky
"Mom," I sigh loudly, "I don't want to be late."
"You won't be late," she walks past me on her way to the pastry department, "just a few more minutes."
She said that fifteen minutes ago, so I don't think we're going to be finished soon. I drop my head and grumble to myself. This wasn't my plan. I was supposed to be in bed, with his smell. Maybe it won't fade until night and will linger for a few more hours, long enough for me to dive into the bed and be surrounded again.
"What are you dreaming about?" My mom's voice makes me jump. I don't think she wants to hear exactly what I'm dreaming about.
"I'm worried about Viv," I lie, I'm not really worried about her. She's with her dad, eating ice cream and having fun in his perfect house.
"You always worry," Mom puts a bag of rolls in the cart. "You'll learn to let go."
"You sound so sure," I mutter. "What if it doesn't happen, what if I got used to being like that?"
"Are you enjoying yourself?" She stops her running around. "Is it good for you, when every little thing frightens you?"
"You know the answer," I reply indignantly.
"Why don't you trust yourself?" Her gaze penetrates.
"I'm trying, really."
"You should be proud of yourself. You've raised Viv to be a loving and confident girl, smart and funny. You've put her first on your priority list, and now you're allowed to think of yourself, your future."
"I'm really scared, Mom," I confess in a whisper in the middle of the giant store. We couldn't choose a more strange place to conduct this conversation.
"You deserve to be happy."
"I know."
"Do you really believe that?"
"When I manage to deal with the doubts that constantly arise, yeah, I do. After all, I didn't think I would love only one man, I didn't think he would leave, and I certainly didn't believe he would come back. "
"You got a second chance, don't throw it away."
"We have to finish," I interrupt sharply, "Vivian and Colin are expecting me at seven."
"Trust your judgment," she puts a hand on my shoulder, "trust your heart, you'll know what's right."
I nod without words and push the shopping cart toward the cash registers. I’m not sure where we're going from here. I try to lock my fears away and not confront them. They've been running me long enough, and I won't let them ruin my second chance.
At six-thirty I burst into my house panting, rushing toward the bedroom, flinging my clothes on the floor. I turn on the hot water in the shower and walk through my wardrobe in my head while my hair is getting wet.
What should I wear?
I know he doesn't care, and if it was up to him, he'd prefer me wearing nothing. I understand him, because I personally would like to undress him and stroke his bare skin.
Five and a half hours were not enough. They were just the appetizer, a taste of what awaits us. A reminder of the mystical connection that has been there from the first second we exchanged glances.
I wash my hair and the soap from my body and turn off the water. I must have a dress in my closet I can throw on. Something sexy.
My God, what do I know about sexy? What the hell is going on in my poor mind?
I wrap myself in a towel and move to the bedroom. One normal dress to feel good about, that's all I need.
You'll feel good only when he peels it off you.
What did you do, Colin? You've made a monster out of me, it's so ridiculous. A hormonal monster who wants more of what he gave me this morning. God, please help me. Help me survive one evening with him without smearing all over him or looking at him with longing. One evening without imagining how we can slip away from Vivian for three minutes and shut ourselves in the bathroom.
The situation is lost. I'm lost. And I'm late for dinner too. It's time to hurry up.
I pull at my closet door and freeze. My eyes stare at the shelves, but my head takes a moment to understand.
Where are my clothes?
A forgotten memory hits me, of Colin's empty closet and the empty shelves waiting for me on our wedding day. The house is the same house, the bed the same bed, but this time my clothes are the ones that are missing.
My eyes catch the note on the middle shelf. I pick it up and read the words, my heart about to explode.
I love you. Still and forever.
I read it again, just to let the words seep in.
He exchanged one note with another. His words, that shattered my life in the past, now offer me the future I dreamed of.
The seventeen-year-old boy who sat in my room and studied for hours, enlisted and saw horrors I might never understand, is unveiling in front of my eyes, revealing the man he has become, his heart.
When I pull the door to Vivian's closet open, tears rise in my eyes. My wedding day was a nightmare that lasted too long, and Colin is ending it. I know where my clothes are and where our girl's clothes are and, if I have to guess, my mom's car is fine.
She cooperated with the plan.
I fold the note he left for me, wipe away the tears and go to pick up my clothes from the floor.
Colin's house looks bigger than I remembered as I park my Chevy and get out with trembling legs, stopping in front at the door and ringing the bell. Colin opens it with a look that I hardly recognize.
"I wanted to wear a dress," I stare at him, eyes glistening, "but what do you know, my clothes are lost."
"They're exactly where they're supposed to be." No muscle moves in his face. "Welcome home."
"Colin," I begin to say, but he interrupts me.
"Welcome home, Lizzie."
"What will we tell Vivian?" How can we explain to her the hasty move her father planned behind my back?
"I think you'll find she doesn't need any explanation." His voice is steady.
"Are you sure?" He'd better be sure, because my legs are going to crash.
"You are my family, your place is here." He takes a step toward me and holds my head in his hands, staring straight into my eyes, his chest rising and falling. "Elizabeth Heart, I'm sorry for all the suffering I've caused you. I want to live with you and make you happy, make sure you and our daughter are safe, loved. So loved."
"Don't leave us again," I whisper, and his answer is all I need. He pulls me to him and demands ownership of my mouth, of my lips. He kisses me greedily until we both break the kiss, panting. My eyes are shining and his are too, and I'm protected, safe and beloved.
"You made plans with my mom," I whisper.
"With your mom and Vivian, she helped," a mischievous smile peeps out at the corner of his mouth.
"Where is she?" My eyes peek through the gap between his waist and the door in search of her.
"In her room." He finally opens the door for me.
"She has a room?" I walk into the house where my clothes are, and the life I want.
"Of course." He closes the door, walks past me, crossing the large living room, and down the hallway to the open door.
"Viv," he goes into the room, "your mom is here."
"Mama," her excited cry makes me jump just as I get to the doorway. "You have to see!"
I see.
And I can't completely believe it.
Viv's room is huge by any standard. The walls are painted pink, and when I look up at the ceiling I see the stars painted on it. If I have to guess, they glow in the dark.
"I have a palace bed!" Viv climbs into what she calls a bed, her mattress hiding in a palace decorated with diamonds and lace curtains.
"Please don't be angry," Colin whispers apprehensively. "I couldn't help myself."
"I'm not angry." I'm thrilled.
"Viv, ready to go out?" Colin turns to the girl who is hiding inside the palace.
"Yes," she jumps out enthusiastically. "Wait till you to see the back yard, Mama."
"Come on," Colin motions with his head, giving Vivian a hand and leading us out of the room, through the living room, opening the French doors set in the wall. I'm spee
chless at the sight before me. I stand on the wooden deck and to my right are cushioned sofas, all surrounded by the smell of flowers. The wide yard in front of me is lit by little lanterns that hide in every corner, but it's the gazebo I can't take my eyes off of.
It's decorated with lamps, hanging from the wooden beams, and fabrics, hanging around the poles that support the structure. In the middle is a set dining table with candlesticks and lit candles.
"Like?" Colin whispers.
"It's perfect." Just perfect.
"Our house, our yard," he gestures around, "and later I'll show you our bedroom." He finishes the sentence with a growl.
Mr. Colin Young can't wait. I look up at him and he stares at my lips with obvious intent.
"Colin . . ." I'm startled by the idea of kissing in front of Viv.
"She's going to see a lot of kissing and a lot of love, Mrs. Young."
He doesn't slow down, lowering his lips to mine gently, tenderly, in perfect contrast to his enormous body.
He's kissing me and fixing everything that was broken, giving me back everything I thought I lost long ago.
He finds the key, and sets my heart free.
Epilogue
Colin
Two years later
If that damn dog doesn't stop barking . . . Goddammit, Lizzie, you said you'd handle him! I open the door carefully and prepare myself for the coming attack. After only a second, a large, black, furry creature tries to leap on me, his tongue ready to lick me, my clothes, and everything else that he can reach. I slam the door, leaving him inside and me outside my house. I'm hungry and I've been on my feet since five-thirty in the morning.
"Lizzie!" I roar helplessly, "I'd really love to come inside!"
"Sorry," my favorite voice in the whole world yells from the other side. Okay, one of my three favorite voices. "I was sure I locked him in Viv's room."
The door opens and in front of me stands my beloved wife, who couldn't refuse our daughter and adopted a dog from the animal shelter.
Yes, our girl gave up the dream of becoming an astronaut. Now she wants to be a veterinarian, and any future veterinarian needs a pet, or that's what her mom told me.
"Remind me why we didn't get a hamster?" I stick a wet kiss to her lips, counting the seconds until she shoves me and tells me there are things left for the bedroom.
"You're hungry," she mumbles into the kiss.
"Where's Viv?" Since she hasn’t stopped me, the girl is not around.
"With my parents, they wanted to spoil her."
They always want to spoil her, but I suppose tonight more than usual. After all, tomorrow morning she goes to second grade, and the excitement is in full swing.
"Does that mean we have time?" I lower my head in a silent prayer for the answer I want. Dinner can wait if it means I'll get a chance to drag my wife to bed for a few minutes.
As if a few minutes would satisfy us.
If either of us thought the situation would calm down after a few months, they were wrong. When it comes to our sex life, we are still in our honeymoon period and it doesn't seem to be changing any time soon. Thank God for Vivian, she's the main reason we get dressed and leave the bedroom.
"They're on their way home," my darlin’ wife smashes my hope for some sex.
"Wonderful," I growl as I take my wallet, phone and keys out of my pocket and put them on the table at the entrance.
"Mr. Young," she grabs the collar of my shirt and pulls me in her direction, "do you want to file a complaint with management?"
"I want to have sex with my wife. What are the chances management will agree to that?" I don't have high hopes on the matter.
"When your children fall asleep, you'll get what you want." She pulls at my shirt and kisses me again. I'm about to push my tongue into her mouth, when a cry from our bedroom shatters my plans to pieces.
"Someone's hungry." I get on the job right away, walking down the hallway with Elizabeth following me.
"He wasn't himself today," her voice is filled with worry. "I hope he doesn't develop anything, because my mom doesn't like watching him when he's sick, and if I miss another lesson, I'll be in trouble."
"I'll stay home if it comes to that," I reassure her, approaching the cradle and picking up my two-month-old black haired baby. We didn't think it would happen so soon. When we applied for adoption, we thought it would take months or years before we got the call. We even went to Vegas and got married officially, just to show the adoption agency our marriage certificate in the hopes of avoiding problems in the future. We never dreamed the phone would ring so fast.
"Elliott Young," I turn to the baby in a serious voice, "are you misbehaving?"
"You’ll scare him," she laughs as the baby stops crying and stares at me for a second.
"He knows I'm kidding."
Elliott starts crying again. He doesn't seem to be in a mood for joking. He probably wants to eat, and he won't wait patiently for his bottle. Lizzie goes to the kitchen to prepare food for him while I sit down on the sofa and cradle him.
"I have something to show you," she says as she hands me the bottle a minute later, "on my phone."
I lean back and let the little one eat, while Liz uploads the pictures on her phone.
"Look," she turns the screen over to me.
"You made this?" My eyes jump from the picture to Elizabeth and back to the small screen, on which is a two-story cake shaped in sugar dough.
"In class. Nice, right?"
"Nice?" I snort, "A chocolate cake with candy on top is nice. Babe, this cake is crazy."
"It's okay." My wife shrugs her shoulder and puts the phone back in her pocket.
"Did you hear from that pastry shop on Drum Street?"
"They liked what I showed them and asked me to come back next week for a trial run." She blushes.
"You're sure you want to work for them, 'cause my offer is still valid."
"Yes, Colin," she gives me the same answer she has been giving me for a month, "I'm sure I don't want to start my own business. I'd rather be their employee and learn more."
"As long as you're happy, I'm happy." I look down at the baby in my arms. "And you're pleased too, aren't you?"
The doorbell rings and Elizabeth gets up to open it for Viv and her parents, with whom I have an…interesting relationship. Liz's mom is pretty much crazy about me, which make Liz's father grumble more, but he keeps his mouth shut and says nothing, 'cause after what he did, no one wants to hear it.
Vivian comes running into the living room waving a twinkling pencil case that almost blinds me.
"What did you get?" I pretend I have no idea
"A pencil case with pictures of dogs on it," she climbs up on the couch beside me, "look how cute they are."
"Your dog almost ate me when I got home." I raise an eyebrow with amusement.
"Bobby doesn't eat people, Dad." She rolls her eyes, just like her mom.
"He was 'bout to eat me, I tell you." I take the empty bottle out of Elliott's mouth and turn him over my shoulder to burp him.
"Can I?" Viv asks permission to help in a particularly sweet voice.
"Gently." I nod and let her pat gently on Elliot's back until we both hear clearly a belch over my shoulder.
"That was a huge one!" she bursts out laughing.
"Definitely," I agree with her. "Have you had dinner?"
"Yes, with Granny and Grandpa." She slides of the sofa onto the rug and leaps to her feet.
"Don't let Bobby out," I call after her as she runs into her room.
"Hello, Colin." My mom-in-law's hearty voice comes from behind me. I stand slowly and smile at her and the man standing beside her, his face blank. At least we are no longer enemies.
"Colin," he greets me formally.
"Frank," I shake my head, "how are you?"
"We're well," Darlene updates me. "How's my grandson?"
"Liz says he wasn't well today. I hope the night will be easier." I really hope he'll sleep well, a
s he knows how to do. Elizabeth told me that Vivian was a particularly alert baby, and the nights with her were hard. After overcoming another wave of guilt, I was glad Elliott is completely different.
"We're going home, call if you need anything." Darlene smiles at me warmly.
"Sure will." I turn to the crib in the living room and place sleepy Elliott into it.
"Dinner is ready," Lizzie calls from the kitchen. "You're invited to the table."
My parents in law exit our house, leaving me and my beautiful wife alone in the kitchen. I approach her as she's standing with her back to me, wrapping my arms around her waist.
"Hey," she whispers, I swear I can hear her smile.
"Hey." I kiss the back of her neck.
"Aren't you hungry?"
"I love you," I whisper in her ear, "do you know that?"
"I think you told me a few times this morning," she giggles. I told her, and if I'm not mistaken I also wrote that in a message this afternoon.
"Who knew life could be so good?" I kiss her neck again.
"You work too hard." She takes the opportunity to protest again about the long hours I spend outside the house.
"I know, but I come home on time every evening, do I not?"
I know how much she hates me being late so I make an effort to get home as early as I can. Especially now that our family has grown. I take Viv to school every morning, Elizabeth is the one who picks her up, and we make our dreams come true, one after the other.
"It's pretty crazy, don't you think?" she sighs, my lips chilling her skin. "Do you remember where we were a year ago?"
"In the back yard," I whisper, "at our pretend wedding."
Elizabeth thought I had gone crazy when she came home to the wedding I arranged for us, to which only Vivian was invited. Well, maybe it wasn't a real wedding, because there was no pastor, just us and the rings I kept for years. Either way I put the ring on her finger and made her cry.
"It was the most perfect wedding in the world." She pushes her back into me.
"I agree," I embrace her further, "when the bride is perfect, the wedding can't be anything else."
"The groom was okay too," she teases.
"That groom will do anything for you."
