by Mercy Amare
On the plane ride home, I cried — the whole way. And I hate myself for crying. I feel weak. Why am I letting that woman get to me? She isn’t worthy of my tears.
Stephan comes over to me and wraps his arms around me. I cry into his shoulder.
“You know,” I hear Bridgett say.
I pull back from Stephan and look at her. “About Mary… Or Beverly… Mom… Yes, I know.”
“I’m so sorry, Scarlett. I didn’t want you to know.” Bridgett puts her hand against her forehead and rubs it. “I wanted to protect you. You’re so loving, Scar. You just want to be loved. I thought I was protecting you by not telling you.”
“How is not telling me about her protecting me?” I ask. “I just flew to South Carolina, only to find out that my mother is alive. Not only is she alive, but she is an abusive crazy person.
“What are you talking about?” Stephan asks.
Bridgett ignores him. “I grew up with her. She’s a very cold person. I think I understand why now. But it doesn’t change anything. What she did was terrible… Splitting us up, lying about her death, using me as her punching back… No matter her reasons, it’s not acceptable.”
“Is it really any different than what my dad did?” I ask. “I know he didn’t hit me, but he went along with her plan to separate us.”
“Mark did what he did with pure intentions. My mother… OUR mother… did this because she is evil.”
“No…” I say. “He was selfish too, Bridgett. He didn’t want Stephanie to leave, so he just let you go… But she said that she did it, because she felt bad for keeping us a secret from him. She wanted to make everything right…”
“Then why did she send you with Mark? She knew it would split up his marriage… his family… And us. She split us apart, Scar.”
“But he didn’t even try to fight…”
“He fought for his family,” she says. “He did what was best for you, Scarlett. I can’t fault him for that. He saved you from growing up with her.”
“But he didn’t save you!”
“I didn’t need to be saved. This arrangement — it was terrible. We missed out on so much together, but your dad… our dad… he loves us so much. I know that he regrets it.”
“You would forgive him? Just like that?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“What about Mary?”
Bridgett pulls up the sleeves of the hoodie she’s wearing. She has bruises on her arms… Hand prints. “Does this look like somebody you want to forgive?”
“She did this to you on Thanksgiving?”
Bridgett nods. “She’s done this my whole life, Scarlett. She’s a monster. I went there for Thanksgiving because I had to see my little sister. I had to make sure that she was okay. I hate leaving her there with my mom.” She then shows me her stomach. She has a large scar just over her bellybutton. “She did this when I applied at an out of state college. She said there was no way in hell she would let me leave.” She continues showing me scars, and telling me the stories behind each one. My heart breaks, because I wasn’t there to help her. I wasn’t there to stop it.
“We have to do something about this,” I tell her. “You can’t just leave Natalee there with her. If you do, she will do this to her too.”
“I know…” Her voice breaks. “I’m ready now. I need Natalee to be safe.”
“Good. The first thing we are going to do is call my father, and then we are going to get a lawyer. We will make sure your little sister is safe.”
“She’s your sister too,” Bridgett says. “Half-sister. Just like with me.”
Oh wow.
I hadn’t thought about Natalee being my sister, too. It’s always my dad, or Bridgett’s mom, my sister, Bridgett’s sister… But everything isn’t just hers or mine — it’s ours, though I have to admit I’d rather not claim Mary as my mother.
“Then let’s make sure our sister is safe.”
4:21 PM
Best decision ever.
I cancel all my interviews for the day. The record company isn’t thrilled, but my family has to come first this time. My lawyer, Mr. Matthews, and Dad comes over and we go over a few things. As the lawyer gets pictures of Bridgett’s faded bruises, and scars, I step outside and sit by the pool. I just need a moment to think.
I lie back in the chair and look up at the sky. It’s a beautiful, cloudless day in LA, which is a nice change from the normal smog.
“Hey,” I hear Stephan walk out back with me. “How are you doing?”
I don’t look away from the sky when I answer. I don’t want him to see the pain in my eyes. “I’m overwhelmed.”
Stephan sits beside me and grabs my hand. “I always thought my family was pretty screwed up, but I think yours is actually more screwed up than mine.”
And then I do something I didn’t expect — I laugh. “That’s where you’re wrong. We’re married. My family is your family.”
“Damn. You’re right.”
“We both come from a pretty screwed up family life. Your father betrayed you too, but at least my father is still around to make it right. I couldn’t imagine going through all this without knowing there was a chance of someday having my father be a part of my life…”
“My father didn’t really betray me,” Stephan says. “I always thought he did, but he betrayed my mom. My dad loved me so much. What he did was so wrong, but I can forgive him. You… have nineteen years of your father treating you like trash. He just stood by and let Stephanie walk all over you… And Bridgett… She spent nineteen years with a monster because of his choice. He could have fought for her, but he didn’t. That’s going to be a lot to get over.”
“It’s probably good he didn’t fight for her. Imagine if we both had to live with Mary — Beverly — whatever the fuck her name is…”
Ugh. My head hurts just thinking about it.
“I don’t know what’s truly best,” Stephan says. “All I know is that your parents did a number on the both of you.”
I look from the sky, and over at Stephan. He is watching me, and I can see the concern in his eyes. He’s hurting because I am hurting. “I’m sorry that I went to South Carolina without you. I said I wouldn’t run again, I just… I had to know.”
“I know. And I know it was something you had to do alone. Just please, don’t do it again.”
“I promise.” I hold out my pinkie.
Stephan looks at my pinkie and laughs. “What, are we in pre-school?”
“A pinkie promise is more binding than a regular promise. Because if you break a pinkie promise, your pinkie will fall off.”
“You are the weirdest person I have ever met.” He hooks his pinkie onto mine.
“And you’re married to me. What does that say about you?” I ask.
“It says that I have a thing for a smoking hot blonde, with sexy blue eyes and a killer body,” he answers. “But it’s okay. I like your weirdness.”
I don’t know what I would do without Stephan… Eloping in Vegas — best drunken decision ever.
Thursday, December 10
7:21 AM
Let’s do this.
Pretending that my life is normal when it’s really falling apart is hard. But I do it, because that is what I am supposed to do. I’ve gotten good at it over the years, but this time feels different. I’ve done two early morning television interviews already. The documentary went over really well. Just over fifteen million people tuned in for the premier, which is incredible. I guess people like watching my screwed up life.
My new single is coming out tomorrow. I am excited to see how well it does. Maybe it will be my silver lining.
“What’s next?” I ask Bridgett as we get into the limo.
“What do I look like, your personal assistant?”
I look at her iPad, which has my schedule on it. “Honestly, you do look like my assistant. Don’t worry, I get a personal assistant soon, and then you can just focus on being my manager.”
“Radio interview
is next,” she tells me. “By the way, I’m really not that good of a manager, so your dad offered to train me. I know that you fired him, but I really need him for a little bit. I have no clue what I’m doing.”
I like radio interviews. It means that I don’t have to look cute. In fact, I want nothing more than to put my hair in a ponytail right now. So I do. “That’s fine,” I say. “Are you sure you’re okay working with him?”
“No, but I’ll be okay eventually. I’ve forgiven him for what he did. Now I need to get to know him. He deserves a second chance.”
“What about Alec? Are you going to give him a second chance?” I ask.
“He deserves better, Scar. I broke his arm. He isn’t going to want me after he stops taking the pain medication.”
I laugh. “Yeah right. Keep dreaming.”
“I’m really sorry that I didn’t tell you about our mom. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“I know. I forgive you, Bridge.” It’s pretty much time for a change of subject. I think we’ve both had enough heavy talk. “So, how many more interviews do I have today?”
She looks over the schedule. “This is actually the last radio or television interview through the rest of the week. Your record company sent over a list of mandatory interviews. I scheduled the ones you had to do, and declined for the rest of them. But tomorrow you are needed in New York. They want to put you on the cover of Vogue.”
“Ugh,” I groan. “Seriously, they always make me wear really uncomfortable clothes, and they fix my hair weird. Last time I was featured in that magazine, it took me a week to get all of the hairspray out of my hair.”
“But you’re the cover story. It’s a big deal. And next week I have you scheduled here in LA with Seventeen. They want you on the cover too,” she says. “It’ll be Wednesday, after rehearsal. I only accepted cover features. You should be happy I didn’t say yes to all the other magazines.”
“I swear — it’s like you enjoy torturing me.”
She smiles. “Now there’s a thought. I could become Alec’s manager, and then I really could torture him.”
“No way!” I say. “I need you to be my manager.”
“Speaking of… You’re taking a break this weekend. After Vogue, you have the whole weekend.”
“A whole weekend off. Whatever will I do?” Sleep. Definitely sleep.
“You’re going to go see Stacy and Anna. Stacy wants you to meet her new boyfriend, Matthew, and Anna wants to see her favorite aunt — which by the way, isn’t me.” Bridgett sticks her tongue out at me. “Also, next week you have a week of rehearsal. You need to make it count, because after that you’re off until the tour.”
Suddenly, I don’t feel so bad about my upcoming interview.
As the limo comes to a stop, I grab a Red Bull from the mini fridge. “Let’s do this!”
Friday, December 11
Hope, Florida
5:57 PM
I approve.
We flew out Thursday afternoon for New York. The photo shoot only took about six hours, and then my interview went pretty fast. I was pleased with the pictures they took. They made me look really pretty. We went straight from Vogue to the airport, and then to Stacy’s house.
Mona stayed in California. She said she didn’t want to intrude on my family time. Alec also stayed, which really isn’t a surprise. He’s giving Bridgett the space she asked for… Well, today he is.
“What if this guy is a loser?” Bridgett asks as we get out of the car.
“He won’t be,” I answer confidently. “Stacy is very levelheaded, and I don’t think she would date a loser. She’s too smart.”
“Yeah, but Anna’s Dad obviously wasn’t a winner. Not once have I seen him around.”
This is true. Anna’s Dad was a big loser. “If this guy is a loser, then it’s our job as her sisters to run him off… But if he was, I’m pretty sure Anna would have run him off before now.”
I look forward and nearly run into one of the cameras.
“Sorry,” I tell the cameraman.
I have officially gotten used to the cameras being around. Wow. Never thought I’d say that. But in one week, all the filming will be done until the tour. While we’re on tour, they are only going to be there for three months of it. That won’t be so bad.
Before I can ring the doorbell, Anna opens the door.
“Aunt Scarlett!” She squeezes me tight.
“You’ve grown,” I say sadly. She’s seriously my height. How is it fair that a nine year old is my height?
“I know! I turn ten on Sunday!” She’s excited.
“How come nobody told me it was your birthday?” I ask. “We are going to have to get you an awesome present. Something really big and really expensive.”
“I like cash,” Anna tells me. “I want some new clothes.”
“You are my kind of woman.” We knuckle bump, and then the four of us walk inside the small house. “So where is this new boyfriend?”
“He’s in the kitchen with mom,” she says.
“Is he alright?” I ask quietly. I don’t want them to over hear me getting the scoop.
She nods. “He’s very nice. He gets Mom home at an appropriate time after their dates, and he cooks really good. And he took me to the zoo last weekend!! It was so much fun.”
“Anna?” I hear Stacy. “Is Scarlett here?”
“Yeah, Mom!” she yells back.
I watch Stacy and her new boyfriend, Matthew Thorne, emerge from the kitchen.
Stacy was right — he does look like Eric from True Blood. He has short dark blond hair, blue-gray eyes, and a five o’clock shadow. I’ve never liked facial hair before, but I like it on him.
Oh my God. I’m drooling over my sister’s boyfriend.
“Hi, I’m Stacy’s sister, Scarlett Ryan.” I hold out my hand for him, and he accepts it.
“Scarlett Ryan… Aren’t you that pop star?” he asks.
“I prefer rock goddess,” I joke. “But pop star works, I suppose.”
“Yeah, sorry I didn’t mention anything,” Stacy says. “I don’t really think of my sister as a celebrity, and sometimes I forget.”
“I’m her other sister,” Bridgett says. “Bridgett Evans. I’m the untalented twin.”
“She’s lying. She’s very talented. She’s the smart twin.” I put my arm around Stephan. “And this is my husband, Stephan.”
“You’re awfully young to be married,” he says.
I laugh. “Yes, I am. But when you find a love as epic as ours, you can’t just pass it by because you’re too young.”
Matthew smiles. He has the best smile ever. Like seriously, my knees feel weak. “You’re pretty smart.”
I turn to Stacy. “I approve. Now, I’m starved. What’s for dinner?”
8:51 PM
Mr. & Mrs. Yummy
Stacy, Bridgett, and I are all sitting outside on the porch swing. Stephan is inside with Anna and Matthew playing on the XBox. We told them we needed some sister time — really, we just needed to talk about Stacy’s new boyfriend.
“So you really like him?” Stacy asks Bridgett and me.
“He’s great,” Bridgett says.
“He’s hot,” I say. “Like seriously, I thought you were just kidding when you said he looked like Eric from True Blood. You have my complete approval.”
“Scarlett!” Bridgett scolds me.
“What? It wasn’t like you weren’t thinking it.”
“He is very nice looking. And, I think he might be the one. I know it hasn’t even been two weeks yet, but I’ve never felt like this. I feel like I’m a teenager again…” Stacy looks over at me. “I’m sorry I was so hard on you before. I think I understand why you ran off to Vegas.”
“It’s okay. I’m young, and I get why everybody thinks it’s stupid… But it’s awesome that you’re in love.”
“Ugh, not you too,” Bridgett says. “Why is everybody all in love? It’s seriously sickening.”
“I see you’re s
till stuck on Alec.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, let’s talk about anything but her and Alec. I’m so over it. Alec is in love with her, and she’s in love with him, but she’s being stupid. It annoys me to even think about it.”
“I’m not being stupid.”
“Are too,” Stacy and I both say at the same time.
Bridgett doesn’t reply. She just crosses her arms over her chest and glares at us.
“Back to your hottie,” I say to Stacy. “Is he coming to Christmas at Dad’s house?”
“I don’t know,” she answers. “I want to invite him, but I’m not so sure I want him to see how crazy our family is. With everything that has gone on with Dad… and Mom… and your other mom… I’m pretty sure it will scare him away.”
“Puh-lease. If we didn’t scare him away, I’m pretty sure nothing will.”
“Thanks. How is everything going with your little sister?” Stacy asks Bridgett and me. “Have you figured anything else out?”
“Well, it’s not going to be hard to get Natalee out of there,” Bridgett answers. “I just don’t know what to do. I love Natalee more than anything, but I can’t take custody of her myself. We are about to leave on tour, and a four year old doesn’t belong out there.”
“What if she stayed with me?” Stacy suggests. “I have that third bedroom that we’re not using, and Anna would love having somebody else around. I’m her sort of aunt, so it would make sense.”
“Yeah, but you have your whole life here. And you’re just starting a relationship with Mr. Yummy,” Bridgett says.
“Mr. Yummy?” I laugh.
“Well, if I am meant to be Mrs. Yummy then he won’t run. If he does, then I will just have to find somebody else who will accept me and all my baggage,” Stacy answers.
“Are you sure?” Bridgett asks. “This is my little sister, and she deserves to have a normal life. I want to make sure you are one hundred percent sure.”
“If I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t have said anything,” Stacy answers.
“Thank you.” I can see the relief on Bridgett’s face.
