FILLED: Berserkers MC

by Sophia Gray

  Which was probably not the right answer. If I thought he was angry before, he was livid now. He came on me in a moment, pinning me to the floor, our bodies pressed together, skin to skin. His hands held my arms up by the wrists, keeping them pinned tightly to the hard floor. As though on autopilot, my legs fell open to let him settle between them. I could feel his member along my thigh and when it started to grow, it took all I had not to moan and beg him, as he’d said.

  “Fiancé?” he repeated, his voice low and deep and thick with his accent. “What sort of woman sleeps with another man when she’s engaged?”

  I didn’t have an answer and I didn’t have the chance to answer anyway. He pressed his mouth hard against mine. I worked hard to keep my mouth closed, even when I felt his tongue against my lips. I wouldn’t let him in, not this time.

  When he pulled away, he was taunting and teasing as he said, “He must not be much of a man if he can’t satisfy his woman the way I can.” And when I felt one hand release my wrist to slip between my thighs, I didn’t protest. Just like I didn’t stop him from kissing me again and I didn’t keep my lips sealed together. When his tongue touched them again, they parted immediately and I tasted him and tongued him as eagerly as he did me.

  His hand brought me to climax and as I was coming, he shoved himself inside of me, giving me the greatest pleasure I’d had yet. He claimed me as his yet again and I didn’t put up the fight that I should have. When he finished inside of me, I couldn’t bring myself to be upset about it. All I wanted was to once again sleep in his arms.

  Chapter 12

  Nikolai

  I dressed while Madeline still slept. She was exhausted, as she should be. I’d put her body through quite a workout, for which I was rather pleased with myself. But it wasn’t enough to completely erase the other emotions I was feeling.

  I was angry with her. More than that, I was hurt. How could she be engaged to another man? Didn’t she know she belonged to me, body and soul? There was no one else for her – I was certain of that much, at least.

  Maybe I wasn’t the sort of man who could have a wife, children, a family, but that didn’t mean I didn’t understand what it meant to have something. And I did. I knew what was mine, and Madeline was. There was no question of that. And I would claim her as many times as it took until she understood that in the very core of her being.

  I left the apartment quietly. I locked it, having found a spare key, to make sure no one would bother her as she slept, naked on the bare floor of her apartment. I’d brought a blanket from her bedroom, or what passed for it, and slid it over her to keep her at least partially warm until she awoke.

  Now, I was heading down the stairs to my car. It didn’t matter that I’d laid claim to Madeline King or that she was the little sister of Logan King. I had been hired to do a job and I would do that job regardless of the consequences. That was because I was good at my job, yes, but it was also because I knew Mickey. If I refused to do the job, he’d hire someone else to do it. Someone who wouldn’t care about dragging Logan’s little sister into the mix.

  When I got into the car, my phone went off. It was a friend of mine, Peter, who worked at a bar downtown. Technically, it was his bar, but it was only through the good graces of Mickey that he did so well. It meant he was my friend and went out of his way to do Mickey favors.

  “Nikolai, I heard you’ve got a new job.”

  “I do,” I answered calmly. Peter was good; he wouldn’t let anything slip over the phone. Just in case.

  “Well, your coworker is here getting tossed, I think. You should come and get him before he does anything stupid.”

  The message was clear: Logan had been spotted. He was at Peter’s nightclub and he was being handed to me on a silver platter. I didn’t hesitate, just peeled out of the parking lot, doing my best to leave all thoughts of Madeline far behind me.

  I had work to do.

  Chapter 13

  Madeline

  The floor was cold beneath me and hard, though a blanket draped across my naked body helped seal in at least a little bit of heat. My body felt achy from lying there for as long as I had, though there were other contributing factors, too. As soon as I moved my legs and felt the soreness aching between them, I flushed as I recalled the things I had just done.

  Nikolai.

  He’d been furious. And I’d been furious. And then we’d made love—I wasn’t sure he would call it that; he’d probably say “fucking” but it was making love for me—twice right there on the floor, as though it was the only way to deal with the feelings raging between us.

  I probably should have felt guilty. This man was accusing my brother of all kinds of things and my reaction was to sleep with him? Not just a lost in the moment kiss or a momentary lapse of judgment either. I’d let him get my clothes off in a hurry, desperate for there to be only nakedness between us, and even after he did passionate, naughty things to my body, I hadn’t come to my senses.

  I’d craved it when he took me the second time, too.

  This was not what I’d been raised to think and feel and act about sex. I was supposed to be married and then I was supposed to be careful, demure. It was okay to want sex, but only in the sweet way. In the “innocent” way, as much as possible, anyway. I wasn’t supposed to want things like sex on the floor or sex in the shower, and definitely not sex with men I barely knew.

  Just one man, a voice in my head reminded me, and I acknowledged that it was true. I only wanted one man. Nikolai.

  Thinking of him made me stand—gingerly and stiffly, stretching out my aching body slowly to try to work out some of the kinks—and look around for him. My apartment wasn’t that big, so there weren’t a lot of places for him to be.

  Clutching the blanket, which I recognized as pulled from my bed, I looked around for him, but I knew before I’d checked in the bathroom and behind the curtain of my bedroom that he was already gone.

  Niggling despair worked its way through my chest. Of course he wasn’t there. I should have known better that whatever passionate, crazy sex we had together, it was simply a carnal urge on his part.

  But he came back.

  I frowned. Was coming back a sign that he maybe wanted more than just the physical stuff? I wasn’t sure. He’d been talking about my brother and it made me worry that him showing up had more to do with Logan than anything else. But then, he had been really angry about Shawn.

  I winced as soon as I thought of my best friend. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to speak to him ever again. After all, now I knew I would have to turn him down. I couldn’t marry Shawn while I let Nikolai’s body consume mine and devour me whole.

  That wasn’t fair to anyone.

  Just then my phone started buzzing an electronic version of “Lean On Me”—Shawn’s ringtone. I started to panic a little bit, debating whether or not to answer at all. I wasn’t sure I was ready to have this conversation with Shawn yet. Except I knew if I didn’t talk to him now, he’d get worried. And then he’d rush over here. And then he’d know, because after the passion that had swallowed me with Nikolai, I knew it had to be written across my face in plain block lettering, screaming of the dirty things I’d done.

  Things I couldn’t bring myself to regret.

  With a steadying breath, I picked up my phone and accepted that I was just going to have to talk to Shawn and tell him the truth. Well, part of the truth anyway. I wouldn’t be able to marry him and I’d have to admit that to him, but I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to tell him about Nikolai. What would he think of me to know that I’d let the man back into my bed? Well, onto my floor anyway.

  “Hello?”

  “Madeline! Jeez, I’ve been worried sick! You never called me back or texted or anything.”

  I could hear the undertones of worry and panic and almost rolled my eyes at him. Shawn had always been sweet to me, but he was also very overprotective and tended to worry too much. I often wished he’d give me a little breathing room; af
ter all, I was an adult and could take care of myself, even if some of my choices lately hadn’t been the wisest.

  “Sorry. I…I’ve been sleeping most of the day,” I answered mostly honestly.

  There was a pause. “Because of the baby?”

  I blinked. For one crazy moment, I’d forgotten all about being pregnant. Nikolai had swamped my field of vision until he was the only thing in it. As a result, I hadn’t even thought to tell him—not that I thought he would really want to know—I was carrying his unborn child.

  Would he want to know?

  “Uh, no, not exactly,” I hedged. I felt my blood pounding through my head, rushing until my ears were nothing but drums of pressure. Lying wasn’t going to be a good idea, I could just tell. I let out a sigh. “Listen, about your offer—”

  “Don’t tell me over the phone,” he hurriedly interrupted me. “I want to hear your answer in person. This is just too important not to, right?”

  His eagerness made me wince, but I agreed that he deserved to hear it from me face to face. It was cowardly to tell him over the phone, wasn’t it? So I sighed and nodded, though, of course, he couldn’t see that part. “Yeah, I mean, you’re right. When did you want to meet?”

  “I’ll come over right now. We can talk then. I’ll bring takeout.”

  I felt a moment of panic. Now? I looked down at myself clutching the blanket, still sticky from dried sweat and, well, and other things that didn’t belong to me at all. I was sure I looked like a mess, and the apartment felt like it looked like it was a mess, even though really, I didn’t have enough stuff here with me to make it truly unkempt. Still, I knew if he walked through the door right this moment, he would see that I’d just had wild, passionate sex that was most definitely not with him.

  I didn’t want to tell Shawn that I wouldn’t accept his proposal like that. It was rude and thoughtless; he deserved better.

  “Now?” I repeated into the phone, my heart racing a little. I needed to get cleaned up at the very least. “I mean, the place is sort of a mess and—”

  “Don’t worry. It’s me. A little mess has never bothered me before. I’ll pick up something from that sandwich place and we can—”

  “Can you pick up Chinese instead?” I blurted. Honestly, part of it was that I really was having a craving, but really the reason that I wanted Chinese instead of sandwiches was simple: the Chinese place was twenty minutes out of the way and would give me enough time to at least shower before he got here.

  I told myself it was because it wouldn’t be fair to tell him like that, but I knew it was because I was scared. Would he think less of me? He hadn’t yet, but telling him about Nikolai might be the last straw, and I just wasn’t ready to risk it. At least if I cleaned up, telling him about Nikolai wouldn’t necessarily mean I’d just had sex with him and that was why I hadn’t called him.

  “Yeah, sure, I’ll get the orange chicken, right?”

  He knew me so well and I felt a little sad that I wouldn’t be marrying my best friend after all, but one thought of Nikolai made me realize it was all for the best. I didn’t think of Shawn that way and was pretty sure I never would. “Thanks. I’ll see you in a bit.”

  “Great. Be there soon.”

  We hung up and I wasted no time in rushing to the bathroom. At least I was already naked so I wouldn’t have to worry about taking the time to strip. I was under the spray in record time, scrubbing the scent of lovemaking from my skin, while simultaneously remembering how he’d touched me. Fiercely and possessively, like I was his and no one else’s.

  The thought made me shiver.

  When I got out of the shower smelling fresh and clean, I frowned at the blanket on the floor. Since it was a studio apartment, I didn’t have a washer and dryer. Instead, there were machines in the basement of the apartment complex. I wouldn’t have time to wash it, so I scooped it up and threw it on the bed in a heap. I decided we’d have to stay in the kitchen so he wouldn’t get suspicious. After getting dressed, I jerked the curtains closed to hide my bedroom and darted into the kitchen. I had one of those Swiffer things to help keep the hard floors clean in between moppings and I pulled it out now, quickly going over the entire space as though the evidence of what I’d just done was written across the floor. Maybe it was.

  By the time I was putting it back up, there was a knock on the door. Shawn.

  Taking a deep breath, I went to the door and opened it. He stood there holding up two bags full of Chinese takeout cartons. His smile was bright, confident even, and it made mine shaky at best.

  “Come in,” I told him, standing back so he could do so.

  He went directly to the counter to deposit the bags of food. Then he started pulling out containers, talking to me as he did so. “I got orange chicken like you like and some dumplings. There’s chow mein and stir fried rice, but no chicken in that, ’cause I know how you feel about chicken fried rice.”

  I let him ramble for a bit until all the food was placed on the counter. He went to the cupboards to grab some plates then started dishing everything out. As I watched him, I realized what an awful person I was. Here was my best friend doing everything he could just to make me happy and make sure I was healthy, and what was I doing? Sleeping around with some guy who probably didn’t care about me in the slightest.

  Sucking my bottom lip into my mouth, I worried on it for a moment as I thought it over. I was going to have to tell him. And not just about the engagement—or lack thereof.

  “Shawn,” I began hesitantly, trying to gather my courage before continuing. “Shawn, stop. I…we really need to talk. Now.”

  He stopped instantly. He could probably already sense it in my tone, but I tried to remind myself that it was okay. Everything would be okay. He turned to look at me, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips turned down into a frown. He was a nice guy, one of the good ones I was sure, but…well, he could be a little judgmental about things like this. I reminded myself that he’d stood by me when he learned I was pregnant, even stepping up to the plate, and that this would be no different. We’d still be friends after I told him the truth.

  Even so, the words stuck to the roof of my mouth like thick, pasty oatmeal. After several tries, I got it out. “I can’t marry you.” Shawn looked ready to mount an offensive, some sort of argument to convince me otherwise, but I hurried on before he could change his mind. “You’re such a good guy and you deserve so much better. I just can’t do that to you.”

  “Madeline, I…” His expression had turned tender, telling me he wasn’t understanding what I was talking about.

  I knew I’d have to tell him what happened. Sucking in a harsh breath, I spit it out. “I slept with Nikolai.”

  He froze. I wasn’t even sure if he was breathing anymore. He stared at me with those huge brown eyes, almost not seeing me at all. Then he blinked and let out a rush of air through his clenched teeth. A moment later, he asked dumbly, “Who?”

  “Nikolai,” I told him carefully, knowing how this was going to go over. “The…the baby’s father. I…I don’t know what happened.” Which was not entirely the truth, but sort of. I hadn’t intended for that to happen, though I enjoyed it enough to know that I would let it happen again in a heartbeat. “He was here and I was…It did happen, Shawn. It happened and you deserve better.”

  I sat heavily on one of the stools at the counter, feeling miserable. I didn’t want to lose Shawn as a friend and I felt awful after everything that had happened. It was supposed to be us against the world, but I had a feeling that after my admission, that was no longer the case.

  Then he surprised me. “Are you telling me no because…well, because you guys are together now?”

  I stiffened. Together? Well, we’d slept together a total of four times, but I’d left knowing that he didn’t want anything like that the first time and he’d left the second time before I could even attempt to decipher anything. I hesitated, then decided honesty was all I had to offer as confusing as it might be. “Um, no. I
mean, not really, he just…” Just what? Stormed in, tore off my clothes and devoured my body until I felt like I was crumbling in ecstasy beneath him? No, I definitely couldn’t say that, so I tried again. “He’s gone and I don’t even have a number. I…he probably won’t be back.”

  Of course I’d thought I wouldn’t see him again after the first time, too, so some part of me hoped I would be wrong again.

  Shawn processed this information, then seemed to make a decision. Leveling his gaze on me, he said, “Then I don’t care.”

  My eyes widened at his words. What?

  “I don’t care, because you’re all I’ve ever wanted, Madeline. So, if you’re not already with this guy, I want a chance.” His eyes smoldered with passion and ferocity as he said this, intensity I was definitely not used to from him.