Living with Love (Lessons in Love)

by Clarissa Carlyle

He stepped out of her office and into the main corridor of the school that he would soon be leaving. He felt giddy with excitement over his decision to leave. It had been a long time coming, and he was proud that he’d finally found the confidence to move on to bigger and better things. Not that it was so much confidence but more about finding the right cause. Mark needed to be in New York. It was where he belonged; he saw that now.

  Still jubilant about his decision, he headed down the corridor towards his classroom, eager to impart the news about his new job to the one person who mattered most to him.

  ****

  Alex looked around her now empty apartment. It hadn’t taken her long to pack away all her belongings. She’d found a new place to live, a beautiful one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan, and the most wonderful part of it all was that Ashley had also managed to secure a lease on an apartment in the same building.

  Alex couldn’t wait to be near her best friend once more. She also couldn’t wait to have a kitchen, a living area and an actual bedroom and bathroom. She’d visited the apartment the previous week and been blown away by how modern and beautiful it was. In the excitement of moving, she’d almost forgotten all about Mark. But then her heart would burn with the pain of her love for him, and she was reminded of how much she longed for him. Try as she might, she couldn’t stop loving him.

  Glancing out of her apartment window, Alex bid farewell to the neighborhood that had helped shape her first tentative months in the city. She looked forlornly at the spot down the block where she’d been mugged at gunpoint. The encounter had taught her a lot. She was more self-aware and took better care to hide her possessions. As awful as it had been, being mugged had helped her transcend into being a fully-fledged New Yorker.

  Alex’s iPad whirred, and she flicked the screen on with her finger. She’d received an email from her mother. Since she’d bought Jackie her own iPad, she was being inundated with emails from her, all detailing the progress of restoring their family home to its former glory.

  Opening the message, Alex was greeted by an image that brought tears to her eyes. It was her old bedroom, tastefully decorated with shabby chic furniture. There was a white wooden bedstead in the center of the room, covered in a pink patchwork bedspread. Beside it was a white wooden vanity unit and a chaise longue. It looked beautiful and regal, like the bedroom of a princess.

  As Alex looked at the picture, she spotted a violin peeking out from a far corner. And beyond was the vast window Alex had used to gaze out of for hours on end, and even in the picture she could make out the trees swaying idly in the background, their bare branches heavy with freshly fallen snow. So much had changed, and yet still the trees remained, standing guard like giants at the back of the house.

  Scanning down, her eyes misting, Alex read the message which accompanied the image.

  Hi Darling,

  Good luck today with moving! I thought you might like to see this. I’ve finally got your old bedroom finished. I hope you like it. This room will always be yours. Woodsdale will always be a home for us all. Whenever you want to visit, your bedroom is there, waiting for you.

  Speak soon,

  Love Always,

  Mom

  xxx

  P.S. I’ve had a very tough time with the deliverymen this week. I blame the snow!

  Alex smiled warmly to herself as she read the message. She had her bedroom again, and a part of her relaxed with relief at that sense of belonging. Home had always been an anchor in her life, a place she could retreat to whenever things got too tough. Seeing her bedroom now, seeing how beautiful it looked, reminded her of just how badly she’d missed having her safe place, her bolt hole. Looking at the picture, it also made Alex realize the style she wanted to decorate her New York apartment in. If she decked it all out in shabby chic design, it would be like bringing a little bit of her Woodsdale home to the city!

  With her hand poised to type an email in response, the sound of a car horn caught her attention. She looked out of her window and saw the waiting cab she’d asked her landlord to hail for her. It was time to leave. She picked up her duffel bag and two boxes worth of belongings and headed out of her apartment and down the rickety staircase.

  ****

  Waving goodbye to her old apartment, Alex leaned back in the car and sighed contentedly. She was glad to be moving to Manhattan, to the island where everything happened.

  Outside, she watched people hurrying along the streets, their heads bent low to protect them from the bitter cold. In two short days, Ashley would arrive, and they’d be able to explore the city together. Alex could barely contain her excitement over being reunited with her best friend.

  “Moving to a new place?” the cab driver asked in his friendly Boston accent.

  “Yeah.” Alex nodded. “Really excited about it. My best friend has just bought an apartment in the same building too.”

  “Sounds like a good setup!” The cab driver smiled, his voice warm and welcoming. “You girls will be like those women on TV, that Sex and the City show. My wife loves that.”

  “It’s a good show,” Alex agreed. Looking wistfully out of the window, she hoped that her life would be as fun and magical as the ones depicted on television. She finally felt like she was close to fulfilling all her dreams, but still there was something missing.

  Her phone began to ring. Glancing down, Alex was surprised to see that the incoming caller was Mark. She’d thought she’d been perfectly clear about her feelings for him when they last met.

  At first she wasn’t going to answer. She watched his name flashing on the digital screen and tried to ignore the wave of pain that accompanied it.

  “You not going to get that?” the cab driver asked. “That could be your Mr. Big,” he joked.

  Alex smiled and sighed, resigning herself to answering the call.

  “Mark, hey.” She forced herself to sound brighter than she actually felt.

  “Alex, hi. I’m glad you answered.”

  “What’s up?” Alex asked, her hard exterior coming down, refusing to let him in, not wanting to be hurt again.

  “Are you in the city?” Mark asked, but she struggled to hear him. Wherever he was, it was busy. She could hear other voices and the rustle of the wind as though he were somewhere outside.

  “Yeah, why? Where are you?” Alex frowned in confusion. Granted, it was a Saturday, so Mark wouldn’t be in school teaching, but where was he, and why was he calling?

  “Are you busy?” Mark asked, avoiding her question.

  “I’m literally on my way to my new apartment,” Alex answered, glancing out as the cab crossed over the bridge towards Manhattan. It was an iconic view, and one which never lost its luster in Alex’s eyes. Each time she saw the center of the city looming before her, she got a giddy sense of excitement in her stomach, like a child on Christmas morning who creeps down the stairs and sees the abundance of gifts beneath the tree for the first time.

  “Do you fancy coming and meeting me in Central Park?”

  “What?” Alex asked, her voice shrill with shock. “Mark, are you in New York?”

  “Yeah.” Mark laughed nervously.

  Alex listened to the noise all around him, understanding why it sounded like he was somewhere busy. He was in Central Park!

  “Why are you in New York?” Alex insisted.

  “To see you,” Mark replied honestly.

  Alex felt her heart seize in her chest on hearing the words. She’d tried so hard to push him away, to remove him from her life, but now he was in the city, wanting to meet with her. It was a romantic gesture right out of a movie, and it was happening to her. She could scarcely believe it.

  “So will you come and meet me?” Mark asked when Alex remained silent.

  “I don’t know,” Alex replied uneasily. She was still hesitant to drop her guard and give in to her feelings as she had done on New Year’s Eve. The following day he had smashed her heart against the train station platform.

  “Please,” Mark said
, his voice soft and pleading.

  “I’ll think about it.” Alex said abruptly before promptly ending the call. In the back of the cab she suddenly felt agitated and nervous. The car crossed over the bridge and entered Manhattan, and Alex felt sick with indecision.

  “So, are we still heading to your new apartment?” the cab driver asked, unable to miss the conversation taking place in the back.

  Alex was silent for a moment as she considered what she wanted to do. She could go to her apartment, unpack her things and ignore any more calls from Mark, and perhaps then he would finally get the hint and stop chasing her.

  Or she could stop running from him and her feelings and go to Central Park and finally get what she wanted.

  “What would you do?” Alex asked the driver, not feeling confident enough to make the decision herself.

  “Me?” The cab driver thought for a moment. “Well, if the guy has come all the way to the city to see you, I’d say he’s pretty serious. I’d go meet him. Isn’t that what the Sex and the City girls would do?”

  “I guess so.” Alex smiled.

  “Put it this way. If you didn’t go, would you always wonder what would have happened if you did?” the cab asked her philosophically.

  “Yeah, I think I would,” Alex declared, impressed by his insight.

  “So, I’ll ask again, are we still heading to your new apartment?” The cab driver glanced at Alex in his rearview mirror and smiled. His positive nature and excitement was infectious, and Alex found herself responding before she had a chance to stop and think better of it.

  “We’re going to Central Park!” she declared.

  “Yes! Woo!” Her cab driver honked his horn in delight. “To Central Park! This is so romantic and exciting; I can’t wait to tell my wife all about it,” he admitted, smiling to himself.

  ****

  The traffic grew denser around the park, and soon the cab was idling among all the cars. In the back, Alex grew restless.

  “We’ll soon be there,” the cab driver reassured her. “You might want to check where lover boy is. Central Park is a big place. You could be searching for him for hours.”

  Alex nodded and called Mark. He picked up after the first ring.

  “So are you coming?” he asked, his voice anxious but hopeful.

  “Where are you?”

  “In Central Park.”

  “Yes, but which part?”

  “Does this mean you’re coming?” Mark said, excitement lifting his voice.

  “Which part?” Alex repeated.

  “I’m by the fountains.”

  “Okay.”

  “So are you coming?” Mark asked again.

  Alex considered maintaining the suspense, letting him fret for a little while longer about whether she’d show up. “I’m still deciding,” she replied coolly before ending the call.

  “You’re cold!” The cab driver laughed from the front as the traffic began moving once more and they edged closer to the park.

  “He deserves to be kept hanging a little while longer,” Alex told him. Butterflies danced around her stomach as she dared to believe that she was on the cusp of something great, of one of those moments in your life that you will remember forever and recount to your children and grandchildren.

  “What do you want to do about your luggage?” The driver glanced at the two boxes stacked around Alex.

  “I hadn’t thought about that,” she admitted, becoming slightly panicked. She wasn’t sure how she could navigate through the park to the fountains with two large boxes and a duffel bag in tow.

  “How about I leave them at your new apartment building for you?” the cab driver kindly suggested.

  “You sure you wouldn’t mind?” Alex asked, dubious about his intentions. The city had taught her not to trust people and that the kindness of strangers only existed in movies and myths.

  “Not at all. Nice building like yours, they’ll have a receptionist I can leave them with.”

  Alex looked at her belongings, unsure about leaving them with someone she didn’t know.

  “You can trust me,” the cab driver told her, sensing her misgivings. “I know this city is full of douche bags who would rob you soon as look at ya, but that’s not me. I’m a good guy, scout’s honor.”

  “As if you were a scout!” Alex giggled.

  “I’m just trying to help. Does my old heart good to see young love flourish.”

  “Okay then, yeah, take them to the apartment, thank you.”

  “No problem, sweetheart, I just wish that all my fares were this exciting!”

  ****

  The cab pulled up outside the entrance to the park, and the driver stopped the engine and turned to face Alex.

  “So this is your big moment,” he said, his face pulled into a kind smile.

  “I’m nervous,” Alex admitted, the butterflies dashing around madly within her.

  “Don’t be,” the cab driver said softly. “That giddy feeling inside, churning you all up, that means it’s right.”

  Alex thanked the driver. Initially he wouldn’t let her pay, but she insisted on paying her fare and leaving him a generous tip.

  Alone, she walked into the park and turned in the direction of the fountains. Around her were people jogging, walking their dogs or just ambling along, all enjoying the cool winter afternoon.

  She took a moment to settle her nerves before setting off in the direction where Mark was waiting for her.

  ****

  Mark was beginning to fear that Alex wouldn’t show. He considered calling her again but thought better of it. He’d told her where he was, begged her to meet him, it was up to her now.

  He stood awkwardly near the fountains, trying to distract himself by watching the passing people, unable to silence his mounting nerves. His hand kept sliding down over the box in his pocket, double and triple checking that it was still there. He was on the precipice of a moment that could change everything, and he felt sick with anticipation.

  What if she didn’t show? He tried to push away his doubts, refusing to believe that all his efforts would be in vain. She’d be there; she had to be.

  Finally, Mark looked up and saw the familiar golden halo of hair walking towards him. When Alex caught his eye, she smiled nervously. She was wearing skinny jeans beneath a long, green duffel coat with a knitted hat pushed down on her head and a black scarf wrapped around her neck. He froze when he saw her. She was so strikingly beautiful that each time he looked upon her, he felt rooted to the spot, unable to move. She’d had that effect on him even as a student. But her beauty didn’t define her. She was neither cruel nor arrogant because of it, which made falling in love with her so easy to do.

  “Hey,” Alex greeted him, her voice small and unsure.

  “Alex,” Mark said her name and felt his voice catch in his throat. The emotion of the moment was getting to him, but he had to press through it, had to get his words out.

  “I’m glad you came,” he admitted, his eyes watering. “I was afraid you wouldn’t.”

  “I thought about it,” Alex told him, noticing how handsome he looked in his familiar wool coat pulled up high to protect him against the cold, his hair slightly damp with snow.

  “But you did come.” He reached out and took Alex’s gloved hands in his. “And I’m so glad you did because I need to tell you something.”

  “Oh?” Alex tried to remain composed, to keep a look of cool indifference upon her face.

  “I quit my job in Woodsdale.”

  “You quit?” Alex’s eyes widened with surprise.

  “Yeah, I finish teaching there at the end of the summer, and then in the fall I start teaching at a new school, here in New York City.”

  Alex stared at Mark in disbelief. He was moving to the city. Her city. But why?

  “Alex.” He squeezed her hands, a soft shy smile upon his chiselled features. Around them, people slowed and hung close, anticipating that something momentous was about to happen.

 
“I’m moving to New York for you. I fear that I may have realized too late that I was wrong to wait for you to return to Woodsdale when I should have been running after you. I should have told you how I felt when you left for Princeton, but I thought I was doing the right thing in letting you go. You needed to live your own life.”

  Remembering that moment on the station when they parted made Alex’s lips tremble. She looked to the heavens, trying to force back the tears that were so eager to fall.

  “Alex, you changed me. I didn’t know what love was until I met you, and the love we shared defined me. I’m tired of letting things come between us, of watching you slip through my fingers. You are the woman I love and adore, and I’ve loved you ever since the day we first met. I risked everything to be with you and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but I’m asking for one anyway.”

  Mark released Alex’s hands and dropped one knee down on to the cold, hard ground as around them some onlookers gasped in glee. Alex looked down at him. She was shaking and noticed that he was too as he fumbled in his jeans pocket and eventually produced a small black ring box, which he popped open to reveal the most beautiful princess-cut white diamond sparkling atop a white gold band.

  He offered the ring up to Alex, tears wetting his cheeks.

  “Alexandra Heron, I’ve loved you since the moment I met you, and I know that I will go on loving you for the rest of my life. Will you do me the honor of making me the happiest man in the world and agreeing to marry me?”

  Alex heard the words and tried to get her brain to remember the moment in all its magical glory. She knew that this was a point in her life she’d never want to forget. As she stood there by the fountains, looking down at the man she loved who was proposing to her, she finally felt like a princess in a fairy tale. Only this was no fairy tale, this was her life, and she was finally getting the happy ending she’d always dreamed of.

  “Yes!” Alex gushed after the briefest of moments, hastily casting her left glove to the ground so Mark could slide the ring onto her slender finger, cementing their promise to one another.