Bridesmaids' Club

by Cathy Hopkins

  I passed her the first bunch of brochures to look at. ‘Great,’ I said. ‘It’s always good to get input from the groom. We want everyone to be happy.’

  She reached into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out a slip of paper. ‘Well,’ she said. ‘You know how Sam thinks that weddings are basically just a piece of paper, so I agreed to compromise on the ceremony and have some . . . er, fun. We decided, or that is, these are mainly Sam’s ideas, they are . . . um . . . a bit different.’

  I took the piece of paper. ‘Good. Different is good. We don’t want your wedding to be like any other and I am sure it won’t be. Oh Marcie, I have met the most awesome woman. She does dresses and make-up and . . .’ I glanced at the list and did a double take. I read it again. I laughed. ‘Oh, very good, Marcie. Very funny. You almost got me there for a moment.’ I sat next to her. ‘And how long have you been planning this little joke?’

  Marcie wasn’t laughing. ‘Not a joke. It will be fun but I’m serious about it. We want our day to be a day to remember and Sam thought if we picked something on that list, it would be.’

  I looked back at the list. Marcie’s wedding suggestions were:

  1) Roller-skate wedding

  2) Velcro wedding

  3) Bungee-jump wedding

  4) Underwater wedding

  5) Bridezilla wedding with bride and groom dressed as gorillas.

  Oh. My. God! I thought as my mind filled with horror and my heart sank. It couldn’t be true.

  ‘You’re really serious?’

  Marcie nodded. ‘Serious.’

  ‘But these ideas are mad,’ I said. I glanced back down at the list. Sam’s input? What about my input? Years of it? But no, Sam was the groom. He had first say. Oh Geoff, come back. Where are you? I thought. I glanced up at Marcie again and wished that she loved him, not Sam.

  ‘But what about all the work I’ve done? I’ve been planning this for years!’

  A flash of irritation crossed Marcie’s face. She stood up and her cheeks flushed pink. ‘My wedding, Chloe. My wedding. Mine and Sam’s, so we have first say. You could have at least tried to understand but no, you just want it your way. You aren’t happy that the man I love has asked me to marry him, and you can’t hide it, not even for me.’ She looked close to tears as she stood up and went to the door where she turned back to look at me. ‘You are the most selfish person, Chloe, and you’re only thinking of yourself and what you want in all of this.’

  She went out and slammed the door behind her. I was stunned. Marcie never lost it. Jane and Clare yes, but not Marcie. I heard her stomp down the stairs and then the front door banged shut. I lay back on my bed and burst into tears. It wasn’t fair. I had only wanted the wedding plans to be lovely for everyone – that wasn’t selfish. How could she accuse me of that? I only wanted everything to be beautiful for her. Oh rotten bananas! Am I feeling bad because I want my own way? I wondered. Oh poo! This is so not how it was meant to be.

  Chapter Five

  Arghhhh!

  After Marcie had gone, I picked up Sergeant Ted, my favourite teddy bear, from his place on my bed, cuddled up to him, then sat and stared at the phone. I wanted to call Demi or Maryam and tell them the awful news about Marcie marrying Sam and their mad wedding plans but I wasn’t ready for their reaction. They were bound to laugh because the whole idea was ridiculous.

  I put away my bridesmaid album, stacked all the magazines and brochures and put them in the bottom of the cupboard next to the boring career leaflets, then stared out of the window. I felt shocked. Numb. Not one of the options on Marcie’s list had featured in my album. Not one. I felt like lying on the floor and having a temper tantrum like a three-year-old. I planned for everything except this, I said to myself. A sound like wind chimes rang out and on the bedside cabinet, my Zodiac phone began to vibrate and move until it fell on to the carpet. I picked it up and pressed a green button that was flashing

  ‘Awright, Chloe,’ said Nessa. ‘Nessa ’ere.’

  ‘Oh, hi, Nessa,’ I said. ‘So it does work.’

  ‘What? The phone? Course. It’s for me and you to stay in touch. I’ve been looking at your chart and there’s a lot of stuff going on for you at the moment, unsettling for you. I thought you might ’ave rung already.’

  ‘Chart? Rung you? About the wedding?’

  ‘No. Because you’re our Zodiac Girl this month and I’m ’ere to ’elp.’

  ‘I couldn’t even if I’d thought of it. One of my teachers confiscated my phone last Monday so I only got it back on Friday night and anyway, I didn’t think I could phone out on it.’

  I could hear Nessa tut. ‘Course, Mercury was retrograde – that always messes up communications. Unfortunate when that ’appens in a Zodiac month – it means we can’t always reach you, but at least it was only for a week and now we’re back on track. We never know exactly how Mercury goin’ retrograde is going to manifest – computers break down, Internet access gets lost, phone batteries go flat, that sort of thing, but with you, yer teacher took the phone. Ah well, what’s done is done. You’ll get other opportunities.’

  I had no idea what Nessa was on about.

  ‘Opportunities? To do what?’ I asked.

  ‘To be your very best self. To be who you’re meant to be.’

  Her words made me feel more depressed than ever. Be who I was supposed to be? That was my other problem. Nessa seemed to pick up on my thoughts. ‘And that’s another thing, Nessa. At school we are supposed to know what we want to do when we’re older and I haven’t got a clue! I don’t know what I want to do or who I want to be. God! Life stinks. I keep changing my mind about everything.’

  ‘Your chart said you ’ad a difficult time comin’. Neptune, that’s the planet of dreams, crossed by Pluto and Saturn. Tough going, doll.’

  ‘Are they two more of your colleagues in the wedding business?’

  ‘Yes, but they’re also planets in your chart and they’re set against each other at a difficult angle.’

  ‘I don’t know much about astrology, Nessa. In fact, I don’t know what you mean at all.’

  ‘Saturn is the taskmaster of the Zodiac. When it’s crossed or at a difficult angle in your chart, it means a lesson to be learned. Pluto is the planet of transformation. It can descend to the roots of your ideas and shake them up. Put those two at a tricky angle to Neptune—’

  ‘The planet of dreams.’

  ‘That’s it. You’re getting it. Put those three together and I’d say that some dream of yours ’as been shaken or shattered.’

  I still wasn’t sure what she was on about and why she had to bring planets into it all the time but maybe that was her thing, her way of expressing herself. Whatever – she seemed to have grasped that things had gone wrong. ‘Tell me about it. Shaken and shattered, Nessa. And not some dream – my life’s dream.’

  ‘Did you get my text?’

  ‘Yes. Um, not to resist or something.’

  ‘Exactly,’ said Nessa. ‘Listen, sweet’eart, you ’ave to ride this next bit of your life like you’re surfin’ a wave, a tidal wave. Don’t fight what’s ’appenin’. You gotta go with it.’

  ‘But Nessa, everything’s gone wrong and now my sister hates me.’

  ‘Why? What’s ’appened?’

  ‘My sister Marcie is getting married to an idiot who thinks that weddings are a joke. He’s going to turn theirs into one and I’m going to be the laughing stock of the school. I had it all planned and wanted to use your designs and your friends in the planet company too but I am sorry, it’s not going to happen.’

  ‘’Ey, I’m not ’ere to sell you my business,’ said Nessa. ‘I’m here to ’elp.’

  That’s sweet, I thought and I sniffed back a tear. ‘OK. Listen to this then.’ I read Marcie’s list. I heard a soft laugh at the other end.

  ‘See? I knew people would laugh and I don’t blame you. And now I know I can’t ever tell my friends. Marcie didn’t even glance at half the stuff I had looked out for her and
now she hates me and thinks that I’m selfish, which is so not fair because all I have been doing these last weeks is thinking about her.’

  ‘Chloe love, could be that this is what you bein’ Zodiac Girl is all about. You’re one of the luckiest girls on the planet. Some of the most famous women in history were Zodiac Girls. Marie Curie, Cleopatra, Elizabeth the First – she was one but . . . Are you cryin’, doll?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Chloe. Chloe. Gawd! You girls never get it at first, do ya? Listen. ’Elp is at ’and.’

  ‘Nothing could ’elp, I mean help. Not unless you know Marcie or Sam and can talk them out of this.’

  ‘This isn’t about them. It’s about you. You. It could be the time of your life. A time that affects everythin’. See, it doesn’t ’appen to just any girl. It ’appens to a girl when she’s at a turnin’ point in ’er life. It’s not always clear at first why a girl ’as been chosen as Zodiac Girl and it’s really up to each girl to make of it what she will. What we ’ave to work out is why you’ve been chosen, what you’re meant to get out of it. I reckon this big let-down of yours is part of it. It may not be as bad as you think.’

  ‘My sister dressed as a gorilla or bungee-jumping instead of floating down the aisle in one of your beautiful creations! How much worse than that could it get?’

  Nessa laughed again. ‘Yeah. Not quite your dreamy gorgeous wedding. But what you ’ave to remember is that nothin’ is set in stone. Want to know one of my favourite sayings?’

  I was feeling so miserable that I didn’t really but I knew it would be rude not to say yes. ‘Yes. What is it? Darkest hour is just before dawn?’

  ‘No. Although that is a good ’un. My favourite saying is ‘What you resist, persists’. Good lesson in life that, Chloe, if you really get it. What I am sayin’ is, go along with your sister’s plans. Try not to resist. In fact, try to enjoy it even. It’s your ’alf term next week. It just so ’appens that we offer those kind of alternative weddings as well as the traditional ones, and so as part of your prize you could come along and try them out for free – a different option on the list each day. Could be fun.’

  Fun? I thought. Are you kidding?

  ‘You ’ave to let ’er explore ’er options,’ said Nessa.

  ‘These aren’t options, they’re catastrophes,’ I groaned as I threw the list into the bin.

  ‘Remember the golden rule, that’s all I’m goin’ to ask you for now. What you resist, persists, so go along with your sister and enjoy it.’

  I liked Nessa and I wanted her to like me so I decided to agree. ‘OK. Maybe.’

  ‘Good girl. And we’ll be in touch, yeah? Nil desperandum.’

  ‘Yeah, right. Nil desperwotsit. Whatever.’

  Nessa laughed then hung up. I picked the list out of the bin and glanced at it again. What can I do? I asked myself. Stamp my foot like a spoilt princess, blub myself sick and force Marcie to do what I wanted no matter what? That wasn’t an option either. I got up and kicked the wall. ‘Ow! That hurt!’ I groaned as my toe throbbed big time. ‘But . . . God, life stinks sometimes,’ I said to Sergeant Ted. ‘It’s so hard when the one thing you’ve always wanted doesn’t turn out the way you expect. Is this how it’s going to be from now on? Let-down after let-down? Will I spend my entire life staggering from one disappointment to another? Will nothing turn out as planned?’

  Sergeant Ted didn’t reply. He’s a bear of few words.

  ‘Don’t look at me like that,’ I said to him. ‘I know, I know. Nessa was right. I’ll ring Marcie and say that I’ll give it a go. OK?’

  I swear Sergeant Ted nodded at the same time as my Zodiac phone bleeped that I had a message, then another, then another.

  One was from Nessa:

  Uranus is square to Mars and Saturn in your chart and at a tricky angle to Neptune and Pluto. I said it was going to be a difficult time! However Venus is conjunct with Mercury at a favourable angle so there will be a bit of a reprieve and a harmonious time coming up too, probably tomorrow.

  She was right about the difficult time, I thought as I checked the second message, which was from Uri. He had written,

  A friend is someone who knows your secret dream and holds your hand when it shatters.

  On a good day, I might have thought his words were way soppy like blurgh, vomit, but at that moment, they touched me. That’s so true, I thought. I always shared everything with Maryam and Demi, good and bad. We had always been there for each other – like when Maryam’s dad was ill last summer and she was so upset, and last term when Demi liked a boy in Year Ten and he went off with Tania Cosgrave and she was gutted. We had always sworn to be there for each other. I shouldn’t cut them out now because I was afraid that they might laugh. Spot on, Uri, I thought. Friends are for rain and shine.

  The third message was from Nessa again and it said:

  the Sun is well aspected to Mercury next week. Enjoy.

  More planet gobbledegook. Nessa really is into it, I thought as I picked up my normal mobile phone to send a text to Demi and Maryam. All it said was SOS. Those were our code words for help needed and fast. Dad had told me ages ago that SOS were letters used by ships if they were in danger, and if the message was received by anyone they would write WILCO back, which means, ‘Got your message and will comply.’

  Two minutes after I had sent the message, I had two texts back saying WILCO.

  Twenty minutes later, Maryam and Demi were at the door with a bag of jelly beans and a bag of dolly mixture (both my all-time faves).

  Chapter Six

  Option One

  ‘You ready?’ Marcie called up the stairs.

  ‘Coming,’ I called back from my bedroom where I had been getting ready with Demi and Maryam. It was a freezing day outside, cold, grey and misty, and I had pulled out all the scarves, gloves and woolly hat sets that my gran had knitted for me over the years and put them on the bed for my mates to wear. Maryam had chosen a turquoise set, mine was pink and Demi’s was scarlet. We were about to leave when I changed my mind and thought that maybe pale blue would be nicer for today.

  Demi took the blue one and shoved it back in my drawer. ‘Pink. Pink. Pink! If we wait for you to decide, we’ll be here all day. You know what you’re like.’

  I let her boss me about sometimes because she was right. Some days I would agonize over the smallest decisions. We all stood in the model pose that we had learned from one of Demi’s fashion mags – body turned left side forward, left hip dropped, shoulders and face facing forward, then checked our reflections in the mirror. ‘We may only be going roller skating,’ I said in a silly posh voice, ‘but we should never forget our sense of style.’

  We did our club’s sign to each other, left thumbs up, down, up, then jostled each other out into the hall and downstairs to meet Marcie.

  ‘And so the half term begins,’ she said as she ushered us out of the door and into her Volkswagen Polo.

  ‘So how does this roller-skating wedding thing work?’ asked Demi once we were in the back of the car and on our way. I did love her and Maryam. They’d been brilliant when I’d broken the news to them about Marcie’s list and they hadn’t laughed, at least not until I got to the Bridezilla option when they did crack up for a few seconds. They had understood straight away how upset I was and had done their best to cheer me up. As members of the Bridesmaids’ Club, both of them insisted on coming with me to research the list and somehow it didn’t seem so depressing knowing that they would be there, especially for the roller skating. I am rubbish at it – have been ever since I was seven and got a pair of skates for Christmas and our dog Boris was more excited by them than I was. Every time I got my balance and skated off, he’d run after me, jump up and flatten me. Over and over again. Being bruised and battered again as a bridesmaid didn’t hold much appeal but I think Marcie had conveniently forgotten about my earlier disasters. She was so happy when I called late last night and said I’d be happy to try out her list with her.

  ‘The id
ea is that the ceremony is conducted by a vicar on skates in a park in the centre of town. The bride, the groom and guests would strap on skates and skate along behind him to that lovely pergola by the fountain.’

  ‘What, even Grandma?’ I asked. ‘No way will she be able to skate.’

  ‘Oh God! You’re right,’ Marcie replied. ‘I hadn’t thought of the old ones. Er . . . OK, so maybe just a few of us can do the skating thing.’

  One point against, I clocked up inwardly when I saw a flicker of doubt register on Marcie’s face. Maybe this isn’t going to be as hard as I thought!

  ‘I think you should give people the choice,’ I said. ‘I mean, not everyone, no matter what their age, can skate. Like, remember Boris?’

  ‘Boris?’

  ‘Yes. Boris. Our dog. Remember when I was little? He jumped up whenever I put skates on and sent me flying over and over again. I will give it a go today but I am not very good at it.’

  ‘Oh Chloe! I am so sorry. I had completely forgotten about that. Er . . . you don’t have to do it if you don’t want. In fact, maybe it should be just me and Sam and the vicar.’ Marcie looked even more worried.

  Two points against, I thought. This is going to be so easy. Nessa was right. Don’t resist and things may work out after all.

  ‘How did you know that Sam was The One and not Geoff?’ Demi asked

  ‘Oh, the way I feel when I’m with him,’ Marcie replied. ‘Kind of tingly all over, light-headed—’

  ‘That’s how I feel when I get flu,’ I interrupted and Demi and Maryam cracked up. ‘Sorry, Marcie – couldn’t resist. But surely it must be more than that?’

  ‘If you’d let me finish!’ said Marcie, but she was smiling so I knew she didn’t mind being teased. ‘I feel comfortable with him, more comfortable than with any other man I’ve been out with, and I can’t wait to see him again. I love spending time with him. Geoff was a nice guy, maybe too nice – but the spark just wasn’t there the way it is with Sam.’