Empath

by Evans, S. Usher

  "You worry too much," Cefin said, adjusting the reins in his hands. "Can't you use your empath powers on yourself? Calm yourself the way you…calmed me?"

  Lauren's cheeks warmed when he looked down at her. He did seem more relaxed than before she had helped him through his guilt. And he had allowed himself to leave the village to find her.

  God, he left the village to come for her.

  Josh wouldn't even come take care of her when she had the flu. And this guy was…

  But she couldn't be with him. She was an empath.

  "Lauren?"

  "Sorry." Lauren shook her head. "I think the empath thing only works on other people. And animals."

  "But I would think you'd be pretty good at fixing yourself, right? You seemed to know exactly what to say to me."

  "I wish it was that simple," Lauren replied quietly. Other people's problems seemed fixable. She could control that. But the storm in her own mind blew ferociously and uncontrollably. Even now, she bounced from thought to thought to thought without any hope of landing.

  And the Anghenfil was always in the back of her mind, although she realized she hadn't heard from it since before she was caught by the thieves.

  "You're thinking again," Cefin said gently. "You have a look on your face."

  "Well, I have a lot of things to think about." Lauren laughed, turning her head upwards. He was really breathtakingly, adorably handsome.

  And he had come all that way for her, which sent her mind careening in a whole different direction.

  "And what are you thinking about?" Cefin asked.

  Josh, missing home, being in a strange land, being an empath, being unable to touch anyone and having a major crush on the guy sitting next to her, the Anghenfil that haunted her dreams.

  "I'm thinking I wish I wasn't an empath."

  Their conversation ceased when the castle rose before them. It looked like something out of a fairy tale or a history book, Lauren wasn't sure which. It was massive. Stone turrets rose towards the sky with flags waving from the tips of the roofs.

  "Wow," Lauren whispered, climbing to sit next to Cefin. She wished for him to put his arm around her, but his hands remained firmly on the reins as the old horse pulled them over the drawbridge over the moat surrounding the castle. Lauren looked up at the castle walls as they passed through the entrance, taking in every sight, sound, and smell.

  "I told you it was impressive." Cefin smiled at her as he pulled Bessie to a stop. He slipped out of the carriage so he could walk them through the crowded streets of the city. The castle was huge, but the city inside the walls was even more interesting. People milled about as Lauren and Cefin passed, surrounded by chickens and foul-smelling bales of hay. Since they were used to visitors, they gave Lauren and Cefin no notice. Houses lined the streets, looking much more impressive and sturdier than those she'd seen in this world so far. She looked upwards, taking in the sight of the castle. She felt small and insignificant and wondered how long and how many men it took to build it stone-by-stone.

  She was pulled from her thoughts by the three soldiers who had marched up to their carriage.

  "Announce yourselves, travelers," one soldier said to Cefin.

  "This is the empath," Cefin said, looking back at Lauren. "Brother Probert has summoned her."

  "An empath, huh?" the soldier replied, reaching up to yank Lauren down.

  Who is this girl? Another fake empath here to swindle unsuspecting villagers? The man has a spear. What if I don't return home to my children—

  When she came to, she was face-down in the muddy street, Cefin's angry voice mingling in with the voices of the soldiers.

  "I said don't touch her!" Cefin growled, standing above Lauren. "She's an empath. Don't you understand?"

  "We get empaths all the time," the soldier said. "Just some charlatans looking to make some coin in this city."

  "I wish I was a charlatan," Lauren grumbled, coming to her feet. "Do you think I would fake this?"

  "We see lots of young women who faint. Don't mean they're the real thing."

  "How about this, then," Lauren said, shoving Siors' letter into the soldier's hand. "I've been summoned."

  The soldier looked over her letter, and Lauren hoped that he would recognize the signature.

  "You stay here," the soldier ordered. "I shall confer with the palace soldiers."

  "Are you all right?" Cefin asked, his hands itching to help her back up onto the wagon.

  "Be easy on him," Lauren mumbled, climbing up on her own. She sat on the driver's seat and looked out on the whispering and pointing crowd that had assembled. "He's just worried he'll be killed on the job."

  Cefin glared the way the soldier left. "He shouldn't be so short."

  "He can't help it," Lauren said, hating how she understood this man and couldn't share in Cefin's consternation for the rough way the soldiers had treated them. She tried to dredge up the hatred towards the soldier, but couldn't get the soldier's fear out of her head.

  "There she is!" a voice cried out.

  Cefin jumped in front of the wagon, his hand on his sword as the soldiers rushed over.

  "Stay back," Cefin growled.

  "Calm down, my boy!" An old man was pushing his way through the soldiers. He looked as old as Siors, with a long white beard and kind eyes. He was wearing a long, beautiful dark blue robe, and his face looked cleaner than any peasant Lauren had seen so far.

  "Brother Probert?" Cefin asked, relaxing only a little bit.

  "Yes, my boy!" The man's eyes landed on Lauren and lit up. "Twim Probert, at your service."

  "Scholar, you believe this girl?" the soldier asked him, giving Lauren a curious look.

  "My scholar-brother in the village of Rhianu told many tales of her powers," Probert said, which Lauren thought odd. Siors had only sent one letter, and that was before tyllwyllwch or Mairwan or any of that.

  "Yeah." Something about him set her on edge, but she couldn't place her finger on it.

  "Now, now, all of this fuss," Probert tutted, looking at the soldiers. "Why don't we get our esteemed guests settled into the castle?"

  He reached out a hand to Lauren and she didn't take it, but offered an apologetic smile.

  "I'm sorry, but I can't—"

  "Ah-hah, my dear, but of course," he said, something in his eyes. "Please forgive an old man for his habits."

  She began climbing off of the carriage when Bessie whinnied and charged forward. Lauren stumbled and flew off the wagon, right into Cefin's arms—

  I'm so unsure about all of this. Something feels wrong, something about this castle makes me feel boxed in. But she's in my arms, what I wouldn't give to never let her go.

  She heard herself gasp as Cefin's arms left her upright.

  "Sorry," he murmured, throwing a look to Probert who gaped at her in awe.

  "So it's true then," Probert said, awed. "You are an empath… what did you feel when he touched you?"

  Lauren exchanged glances with Cefin again and he understood that she knew what he'd been thinking.

  "Nothing important," she said, wrenching her eyes away from his. "You said something about the castle?"

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Inside the castle was as opulent and beautiful as the outside. Red carpets lined the stone floors, and almost every hall was adorned with oil paintings and beautiful tapestries. Probert was more than happy to give them a tour, pointing out the history of every portrait and suit of armor that lined the hallway.

  Cefin walked behind them, his watcher eyes scanning the room for any sign of trouble. His uneasiness was catching; Lauren couldn't help but jump slightly at every person that walked down the extravagant hallway.

  Yet, there didn't seem much of anything to be concerned about there, unless she counted dying of boredom. After an hour of walking through the castle, Lauren caught Cefin yawning behind them, and smiled at him. He was a simple man from the mountains; this was probably boring to him.

  And also, he hadn't sl
ept a wink the night before because he was scouring the countryside for her. She couldn't believe that he would put her—a veritable stranger—above Aerona and the kids and his duty to the village. She knew that he thought she was cute, but those were the actions of someone who thought she was more than just a cute girl. She stifled a grin as he yawned behind them.

  "You know," Lauren said, interrupting Probert's long monologue about the history of the castle, "it's been a very long journey, and I'm afraid I'm getting a little tired."

  "Of course, of course!" Probert smiled. "The king has graciously allowed you to stay here in the castle, in the east wing. I shall take you there at once!"

  Cefin tossed Lauren a grateful look as Probert walked a little faster down the hall, only stopping for a moment to point out a painting or sculpture that was interesting. But it was Lauren who stopped suddenly, staring into the face of a girl.

  Or rather, the very familiar-looking ruby hanging from her neck.

  "The last empath," Probert noted solemnly. "This painting was completed just a few days before her untimely death."

  "That's my necklace!" Lauren whispered, walking up to the painting. "She's got my necklace!"

  "Eh?" Probert said. "But of course, the ruby is said to be the empath's stone."

  Lauren was transfixed on the stone around the girl's neck, her mind spinning. In the hectic absorbing of her new reality as an empath in Rhianu, she'd never paused to replay the exact sequence of events preceding her arrival. She had purchased this necklace, the very one hanging from her neck right now, the one that seemed alive and attuned to her thoughts, before the earthquake—

  —when she'd first heard the Anghenfil.

  She shook her head, ignoring that knowing voice and focusing on the necklace. Maybe she didn't have to deal with the Anghenfil to get back home. Maybe she was just using her necklace the wrong way. After all, it was capable of getting rid of tyllwyllwch, and—

  —And defeating the monster. If she could just be brave enough.

  She pushed that thought out of her mind and angrily pulled her thoughts in line. The desire to go home, the one she'd put aside because she felt it impossible, returned with a loud roar.

  "Brother Probert—"

  "Twim, my dear. Twim is fine."

  "I actually wanted to know if tomorrow you could let me look in the castle library," Lauren said. "I wanted to know more about my powers and…well, now I want to know more about my necklace."

  "Why is that, my dear?"

  Lauren thought of the girl again, and of perhaps going home. "I'm not from around here, and I'd like to go home soon. Maybe there's something in the library that can help me get there."

  She didn't miss the way Cefin stiffened and kept walking.

  "Of course!" Probert said. "First thing in the morning!"

  "Thank you," Lauren said as they came to an open staircase.

  "Your rooms are right up the stairs. I shall have the servants bring a light dinner in a few hours, yes?"

  "That would be great," Lauren smiled, watching Cefin start to ascend the stairs. Something about his demeanor had changed, and she needed to talk to him. "Excuse me." She nodded to Probert.

  She hurried after Cefin, which was quite difficult based on the rate at which he was climbing the stairs. He didn't pause when she called out to him.

  "Cefin, wait!" Lauren said, doubling her efforts. "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing."

  "Dude, I'm an empath; it's no use lying to me." Lauren rolled her eyes and followed him up the spiral staircase. He ignored her and kept walking, the lines of anger on his face.

  "Cefin!" Lauren tried again, running up the stairs and standing in front of him. "What the hell is your problem?"

  "I'm very tired, and I would like to sleep," he said, trying to get around her.

  "Please don't make me use my powers on you."

  Cefin placed his hands on her shoulders.

  Why does she want to go home? She should stay here with me forever. I want to be with her so badly. Why did she say she felt nothing when I touched her—

  Lauren came back to her senses and slumped against the stairs. In the distance, she heard Cefin's door slam shut.

  ***

  Lauren did not sleep much that night, her head filled with questions about staying and going and Cefin and necklaces. Her room was extravagant and like something out of a dream, and it was nice to sleep in a bed that wasn't made of straw. But she couldn't appreciate it.

  The girl in the painting, something about her was so familiar. Perhaps because she was also an empath or perhaps it was just that necklace.

  Lauren lifted her own stone to examine it in the low light, grimacing at the darkened shade. She wondered if the Anghenfil had been in the other empath's head the way it had made a nest in hers. The girl's eyes seemed so sad in the painting; perhaps that was why Lauren identified with her so much. Did the Anghenfil promise to take away her pain, too? Did the girl finally give in?

  Is that why the Anghenfil took her?

  "It doesn't matter, I'm going home," Lauren announced to the quiet, dark room. The library and the untold knowledge therein was a beacon in the darkness, and she was sure she could find a way back to her world without having to slay a dragon.

  But a new thought emerged; if she found a way home, would she even go?

  She sat up in the bed, the question arising unexpectedly from some corner of her soul. She looked at the wall and beyond, where Cefin was presumably asleep on the other side. He felt betrayed by her desire to go home. He wanted her to stay with him. The thought was distracting, to say the least, and drove comparisons of his attention to her vice Josh's. Cefin was handsome as sin, of course, and he was very interested in her—

  But she couldn't even carry a conversation with him.

  But he was handsome. And interested in her, which was more than Josh ever was. Why was she really fighting to get back home anyway? To return to a life of crying by herself at night and boring data entry? Going out to bars with girls who were moving on with their lives and had boyfriends who gave them shiny diamond rings? Having to be reminded of Josh every second of the day?

  Cefin, at least, offered escape and would probably marry her. After all, there was no one else for him in the village but Aerona—

  —who seemed like a much better match than Lauren—

  "Can you stop, please?" Lauren said, preferring the voice of the Anghenfil over the one that sounded like a much meaner version of herself. But the Anghenfil hadn't made its presence known since she'd left Rhianu.

  She sighed, rolling to the other side. Even if she did stay here with Cefin, there was still the problem of her being an empath. Kissing him was just strange, having sex with him was probably a mindfuck (she snorted—pun intended).

  But it wasn't just the empathy; that was the least of her problems with him. There was a barrier between them, a fear that sat underneath her skin and prevented her from being honest with him. For as much as he had demonstrated his interest in her, finding her in the forest, taking her here to Traegaron, protecting her from danger…she couldn't shake the image of what his face would look like when she told him about the Anghenfil's voice in her head.

  Or about the way she'd nearly given in twice to its seduction.

  That, more than anything, was why she knew she could never be honest with Cefin.

  She rolled over again, looking up into the dark room, and prayed for sleep to quiet her mind.

  ***

  When the first rays of sunlight hit the room, Lauren was up and about. She was still teetering between staying or going, but sometime in the middle of the night, she had decided that she would make a decision when she had all the answers. Pausing by Cefin's door, she briefly wondered if she should wake him so he could accompany her to the library, but her fingers stopped inches from the dark wood. Instead, she spun on her heel and scampered down the stairs.

  She caught a passing servant who was kind enough to lead her to Probert's
offices, where she was assured he was most certainly already awake. Indeed, he was behind his expansive desk, smoking a similar pipe as Siors, and his face lit up when Lauren walked into the room.

  "Good morning to you, empath! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

  Lauren still couldn't shake the slimy feeling from him, but she dismissed it. "Hoping I could get a full day in the library."

  "Then please, let me accompany you," he said, leaving his desk and offering his arm.

  She held up her hands and stepped back, needing to put space between them. "No thanks. I can't…with the empath thing…"

  "But of course, but of course. Shall we?"

  The library was down a hall, then another hall, then another hall—so much that Lauren wasn't sure she could find her way back to the tower if she tried. Instead, she decided to focus on listening to Probert, who was a wealth of information about the city.

  "Why yes, my dear," Probert nodded. "I have been the scholar here since I was but a little boy. Brother Siors and I spent years studying together in this very library."

  "Siors didn't know much about empaths."

  "Ah, well, empaths have always been a bit of my own personal obsession," Probert replied with a small smile. "They fascinate me, you know."

  Something inside Lauren didn't like the way he was looking at her, but she dismissed it. "So the king—is he pretty cool?"

  Probert gave her a confused look.

  "I mean, is he…well, does he think empaths are a good thing or a bad thing?" Lauren asked nervously. She had a vision of being burned at the stake and suddenly wished she'd brought Cefin along.

  "A real empath is always welcome." Probert smiled as they walked into the library. Lauren's eyes widened, and she craned her head backwards to take it all in. Rows and rows of shelves fanned out before her, crammed with thick old books. Even if she started reading now, she'd never be able to finish all of them in her lifetime.

  "So, my dear," Probert said kindly. "What in particular are you looking to learn?"

  "To be honest, I don't know anything about being an empath," Lauren said, running her fingers along the old spines in the shelf nearest her. "And now I find out this necklace is somehow connected. I just want some answers."