Beastly (Phoebe Reede: The Untold Story #3)

by Michelle Irwin

  “There’s only one reason she came to the States. One person she came for. And it wasn’t Xavier. Whatever might’ve happened between then and now, that much is true.”

  Whatever happened to her, it was my fault. His tone didn’t imply it, and I didn’t think he was suggestin’ it, but I heard it nonetheless. If it weren’t for me, she’d be safe at home in Australia.

  His hand came to rest on my shoulder. “We need to find her. For both our sakes.”

  I nodded and spun back to him as I gathered control. “D’ya think the police will take this as proof she didn’t just run off?”

  “Who knows, but I’ll take a copy of it to them tomorrow and try again. Before I do, maybe if I know a little more about her life here it’ll help. Do you know if there’s anyone who would want to hurt her?” His voice grew a little incredulous as he finished the sentence, as though he couldn’t imagine it.

  “There is someone.”

  His eyes shot straight to mine. “Who?”

  “Jason Freeport. He was the team manager for her car.”

  “Was?” His fingers curled into fists at his side, and his eyes became laser focused on mine. “What happened?”

  “He, uh, he attacked her.” I hung my head as I thought about the little things I’d said, the actions I hadn’t stopped, that had made him think he had any permission to touch her. That made him think she was anythin’ but the sweet girl she was.

  “He fucking what? Why the fuck wasn’t I told about it?”

  “I can’t say, sir.”

  He rubbed his temples. “Just cut the sir crap, would you?”

  “Okay, sir—ah, Declan.” His name felt odd in my mouth but I was determined to use it if it meant stickin’ on his good side.

  “Now, why wasn’t I told about the attack? Surely if this guy was let go, there was a new staff member brought on board? That should’ve passed either Lys’s or my desk for a veto.”

  “No, sir. He was let go immediately, but Cash, the driver who used to be in Phoebe’s car, was kept on to manage my team ’cause he didn’t have no other plans this year. He was already on the approved staff list.”

  Mr. Reede turned his back on me so he could pour himself another drink. “So you’re telling me that the driver Phoebe replaced wasn’t moving on to another team?” He tossed the drink back after he’d asked the question.

  I wondered what made him think that. It made Phoebe’s shock at bein’ accused of pushin’ him out make more sense. “No, sir.”

  He glared at me when I said the second word, but I couldn’t stop from sayin’ it. It was ingrained in me.

  “Well, that’s not what we were told. We were told he was moving on.”

  “The way I understand it, he was on shaky ground and mighta been let go anyways. But nothin’ was set. The offer of the sponsorship money Phoebe could bring was too much for Dale to resist.” It was a simplification, but I didn’t feel it needed more. For the second half of the previous season, Cash had missed as many races as he’d run. Somethin’ had been goin’ on in his head, but he wouldn’t let no one in. Not even me.

  Mr. Reede’s eyes narrowed, and I could see the flitter of thoughts racing through his head. “What happened with her car last weekend?”

  “Uh, Cash . . . umm, he drove it.”

  A shadow passed over his features. “So that’s two on the list.”

  “No, sir. Cash wouldn’t—” The things he’d said about Phoebe came to my mind. He’d been more than willing to tell everyone about her apparent history and share the photos that had ended up online. Maybe we couldn’t rule him out. After all, he’d been pretty quick to agree to get into her car again down in Florida. I frowned as doubt flooded through me.

  I hated nothin’ more than doubtin’ a friend.

  My hand found the back of my neck. “He’s my friend. I just can’t see him doin’ anythin’ to hurt her.” I sighed. “But I don’t think we can rule him out entirely either.”

  “Anyone else?”

  For a moment, Bee, Xavier’s stepdad, crossed my mind. He’d paid her plenty of attention each time they were in the room together. Plus, I’d heard some wicked rumors about him. On the other hand, he’d never been nothin’ but nice to Phoebe, and a significant part of my irritation with the time he’d spent dancin’ with her was born outta jealousy. He hadn’t been hangin’ around her without reason, and I’d never seen nothin’ personally to warrant the rumors.

  Wasn’t Phoebe herself proof that what people talked about wasn’t always the truth?

  “Not off the top o’ my head.”

  He nodded before fallin’ into silence again.

  “I gotta head down to Florida ag’in on Wednesday for the races Thursday night and this weekend. I’ll keep my ear out for anythin’ unusual and let you know.”

  He nodded before handing me a business card for Emmanuel Racing. “You can reach me on that mobile number. I’ve got international roaming on. If you hear anything—anything at all—let me know.”

  “Of course.” I scribbled my private number down on the back of my own business card. “If ya need to get me, that’s the best number. The official one goes through a trail of other people first. That one, you’ll get straight to me.”

  He shoved my business card into his pocket.

  She’s gonna be okay. The words were in my mouth and teased at my tongue, but I couldn’t let them free. I couldn’t be the one who made that promise to her daddy if it turned out to be false. “Are ya gonna release any information about her goin’ missin’?”

  “I think it would be wise to. There might be someone who saw something.”

  “Would ya be able to do me a favor?”

  He cast me a concerned glare that clearly questioned whether I had a right to ask him for anythin’.

  “Can ya wait until I can tell the team before ya inform the press? I think they need to know the facts ’fore any rumors start to spread.”

  He stayed silent while he digested my request. After the silence stretched just past comfortable, he nodded. “I’ll have Lys draw up a press release ASAP. But I’ll have her hold off until you can speak to the team before she releases it.”

  “I fly out first thing Wednesday mornin’. I’ll be with the team by noon.”

  “I’ll have her issue the release at one then. I’ll have Lys send you a copy before you go so you can have Dale announce it to the team in line with the official statement.”

  “Yes, sir—ah, Declan.”

  “BEAU.” PHOEBE’S VOICE whispered in my ear, low and needy.

  A smile crossed my lips. The nightmare I’d been havin’—the one where she was gone and no one knew where she was—was too much to deal with alone. It’d made my chest ache all night, and I felt like I hadn’t slept a wink.

  “Darlin’,” I mumbled as I rolled over to gather her up in my embrace. Only, my arm fell against an empty mattress and I jolted fully awake. The reality that Phoebe was gone settled over me again, like a lead blanket I couldn’t shake. It set my arms achin’ and my heart sinkin’.

  “Beau.” Her voice called for me again. It was then I realized that her voice wasn’t whisperin’ in my ear, but a memory playin’ in my head. As reality bombarded me over and over, I rolled onto my back and clutched my hair.

  I opened my eyes to an unfamiliar room. The last piece of unwelcome realization seeped in slowly as I recalled crashin’ at the team’s apartment because I didn’t feel comfortable returning alone to the one Cass and I had shared for the last few months. It was impossible to convince myself that my desire to stay in the team’s apartment had nothin’ to do with the fact Phoebe’s place was one floor up and three doors over.

  On the nightstand, my cell started to ring. The number was unfamiliar, and unusual, so I didn’t have to think about who it might be. “Good mornin’, sir.”

  “Declan. Please.”

  “Yes, sir. How can I help you?”

  “Do you know anything about the gifts Phoebe was receiving?�
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  I sat straight up. “Gifts?”

  “I called home before and found out her nana, Kelly, said that there was someone leaving gifts at Phoebe’s door.”

  “What?” I shoved off the blanket and climbed from the bed. “Who?”

  “If Phoebe knew, she didn’t say. All she told her nana was that she thought it was someone who has access to her building because they were able to get close enough to leave the gifts.”

  “That don’t narrow it down at all. It could be anyone in the buildin’, and almost anyone in management at Richards Racing.” The few times I’d visited Phoebe in her apartment, I coulda gone right to her door if I’d desired. After all, I had the access code to the buildin’. I never had though because I’d wanted it to be her choice, even if I hadn’t left her with much of one sometimes. “We’ve got an apartment in the same building for delegates and overnight stays. I—I’m there at the moment.”

  “Is there a list of people who’ve stayed there?”

  I paced across the bedroom. “Mary-Lou usually keeps a register, but it mightn’t help. If they were left for Phoebe to find, it only needs to be someone who has access to the building. Anyone who’s stayed in the apartment would have that. Heck, anyone who’s even visited anyone stayin’ in the apartment could have the access code. It’s usually changed every few months, but the last change was before Phoebe arrived.”

  “So both Jase and Cash could’ve had access to the building?”

  “Yes, sir. Among others. Plus a few staff members live in these apartments too. It’s close to the headquarters, it’s secure, and it ain’t overpriced. I assume that’s the reason ya grabbed an apartment for Phoebe.”

  “Well, that’s just fucking great. It doesn’t help us at all.”

  “Have ya been to Phoebe’s apartment?”

  “Not yet. I have an appointment with the building manager today so he can let me in.”

  “D’ya think maybe I’d be able to join ya? Maybe there’ll be somethin’ I’ll see ’cause I know her life here.” It might have been pushing my luck, but I needed to be as involved as I could be. I couldn’t sit on the sidelines and wait for secondhand information.

  “I don’t know if that’s a great idea.”

  “Please? I can’t wait ’round here doin’ nothin’. I have to help. However I can.”

  He sighed. “Fine, but don’t make me regret agreeing.”

  “No, sir.”

  He gave me the time of his appointment, a little less than an hour away, and I thanked him before endin’ the call. I didn’t want to give him any opportunity to change his mind. Tossin’ my cell on my bed, I grabbed some clothes from my overnight bag and headed for a shower.

  It was too easy to imagine what Phoebe would say about me going into her apartment.

  Her voice echoed clear in my mind. “Are you going to rifle through my stuff, cowboy? Is this your way of finding out my secrets?”

  I would have given anythin’ to have her walk through the door and say somethin’ like that to me. To sass me in person and give me her personal brand of hell for thinkin’ of takin’ any liberties. It didn’t matter that I wouldn’t have an adequate reply. All that mattered was havin’ her safe again.

  Standin’ under the water of the shower, the thoughts grew to be too much. The questions where and why circled my mind like a pack of coyotes, each pacin’ and howlin’ in turn; teeth bared and ready to attack without warnin’.

  Why would anyone wanna hurt her?

  Was she safe wherever she was? Or was she injured or dyin’? I closed my eyes and let the water stream over me, tryin’, but failin’, to wash the thoughts down the drain.

  After I’d dried myself and dressed, I picked up my cell and made a call I shoulda made the night before but couldn’t.

  At the sound of Cass’s cheery greetin’, I wanted to hang up. How could I tell her the things I needed to? How could I admit to her the cost of the mistakes I’d made?

  “What is it?” she asked, clearly sensing my unease.

  “It’s Phoebe—” Somehow I managed to hold it together as I said her name. There was so much I needed to tell Cass. So much I needed to tell someone, and there was no one else I could trust like Cass. “I need to talk to ya about her, but it has to be confidential.”

  “Course. Always.”

  “She’s missin’.” Sayin’ the words aloud made the coyotes snap their jaws and bite at my heart.

  “What?” Cass’s voice was a whispered rush.

  “She’s missin’. No one’s seen her since she did the interview with the Racing Hub. Her daddy’s come over from Australia ’cause he’s worried about her.”

  “Does it have something to do with the phone call ya got when she was supposed to be comin’ back to you?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Oh God.” I could hear the stress in Cass’s voice and wondered whether perhaps I’d underestimated the friendship they’d cultivated durin’ Phoebe’s time at the Lake Retreat. “Do you have any ideas what mighta happened?”

  “All I know is there ain’t no way she woulda willin’ly missed the race on the weekend. Either she’s hurt somewhere or—” I could barely voice the second part, despite it bein’ the exact thing Mr. Reede and I were discussin’ the night before.

  “Dead?” The word was as lifeless as what it represented as it slipped from Cass’s lips.

  “Or somethin’.”

  “Somethin’?” she repeated, her voice turnin’ thoughtful. “D’ya think someone else might be involved?”

  “I don’t think we can rule it out, and her daddy don’t wanna either.”

  “But who’d do that to her?”

  The suspects I’d talked to her daddy about ran through my mind again, but I wouldn’t voice them to Cass. After all, Cash was her friend too. And even though she’d never had much time for Jase, it coulda been besmirchin’ his name unfairly, and I wouldn’t let that happen to no one else. Not that he didn’t deserve it.

  “I dunno. But I’ll find out. I’ll find her, Cass. I gotta. I can’t . . .” I trailed off before drawing in a breath.

  “I know, Beau. She’s your happy.” It sounded like she was close to tears. “Have ya spoken with the police?”

  “I ain’t, but Phoebe’s daddy has. They won’t investigate yet. He’s gonna talk with them again today.”

  “How could this happen?”

  “It’s my fault.” It was the first time I’d said the words out loud, but they’d reverberated around me for long enough that they came with a conviction impossible to fake. “Anythin’ that happens to her is my fault.”

  “What? No! How can it be your fault?”

  “It’s like ya said, Cass, I shoulda gone with her. If I had, I mighta been able to stop it from happenin’.” Even as I spoke, Phoebe’s voice filled my mind. Words she’d said to me after Abby’s passin’. “I know all about survivor’s guilt, Beau. It sucks, but your guilt won’t change anything. It won’t bring her back.”

  It was like she was speakin’ to me from wherever she was. Calling for my calm, because it was the only way I would get through. Until I knew more, I needed to keep a level head, even if it seemed impossible.

  “Ya can’t blame yourself,” Cass said, echoing Phoebe’s voice in my mind.

  “I dunno what else to do, Cass. What’ll I do if somethin’s happened to her?”

  “Beau, the worst thing you can do right now is panic and lose your head. Just keep the team tickin’ over, keep things movin’, and do what ya can to help her daddy find her.”

  “I know, Cass. I know. I just . . .” With her just a few weeks out from her due date, the last thing I needed was for her to have any troubles. “Keep yourself safe and healthy, won’t ya?”

  “Mitch and Joe are watching out for me just fine, and I ain’t even had a niggle yet.”

  “Make sure ya keep it that way. I’m gonna come down home as often as I can, but I don’t think it’ll be as often as I’d a liked.”

&n
bsp; “I understand, Beau. Find her. Make her safe. She loves you. And you love her.”

  I fought off the agony that threatened to drown me at those words. “I know and I will. I’ll get her back, if it’s the last thing I do.”

  After I’d hung up from Cass, I took a few moments to compose myself before heading to the elevator to go to Phoebe’s apartment.

  When I arrived on Phoebe’s floor, I had to take a moment before I could move. Reality weighed me down, threatenin’ to pull me under and drag me down to the abyss. The last time I walked to her door, I was still tryin’ to apologize for my stupidity when I made the drunk call to her the night I found out about her and Xavier.

  A fresh wave of sorrow washed over me. If I’d known then what I did now, things woulda been so different. That phone call never woulda happened, for starters.

  When I’d heard she was tellin’ her family about Xavier, that she was tellin’ the world they were together, it’d broken my heart all over ag’in. It’d been like hearin’ Max’s words on repeat. That night I’d called her outta desperation, and she’d told me she was with him to the exclusion of all others—a promise I’d thought she’d given him but couldn’t give to me—it’d torn me in two.

  I’d spent the night nursin’ a bottle of Fireball and wonderin’ what I’d done wrong. What I coulda done different to win her heart. Of course, I hadn’t known then that I’d already won it.

  Won it and thrown it away like a fool because of stupid lies told by a thoughtless kid.

  When I reached Phoebe’s door, I heard a sound that filled me with a hope unlike any other I’d ever experienced before.

  The sound of a woman cryin’.

  It wasn’t the sound itself that made my heart inflate to three times the size, but where it was comin’ from: inside Phoebe’s apartment.

  She must be in there!

  I BANGED ON the door with my open palm.

  “Darlin’, let me in!” I couldn’t help the volume of my voice, or the enthusiasm it carried. If she was behind the door, I wanted to get to her. To hold her in my arms and let her know that it was all gonna be okay. It didn’t matter where she’d been or why she’d gone, only that she was back. That she was okay