Sex and Death

by Sarah Hall

  The sweeping girl came over.

  ‘Do MbuyaMaTwins. But mind, I’ll be watching you.’

  Shylet walked with MbuyaMaTwins to the sinks.

  ‘Did you hear about Kindness?’ MaiShero said. ‘She is now late.’

  MbuyaMaTwins, who was about to sit down and lower her head into a sink behind her back, said, ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘She was killed by her boyfriend.’

  ‘What are you talking? What are you telling me?’ MbuyaMaTwins forgot that she had been about to sit and remained crouched above the seat in a half squat, her face twisted into a rictus that was almost a caricature of disbelief, the maize cob in her hand stopped just before her mouth. ‘How is it that this came to be?’

  ‘She was shot by her boyfriend.’

  ‘What are you telling me? Do you mean the boyfriend who drove a silver Pajero, the junior doctor who worked at Pari?’ MbuyaMaTwins said.

  ‘What do you know about her boyfriends, MbuyaMaTwins?’

  ‘Who did she not tell about her boyfriends? Everyone in Highfield, from Egypt to Jerusalem, knows about her boyfriends. She told me about this doctor one when he picked her up after she did my hair just the other week. Hede! I said to myself, what kind of a doctor, even a junior one, would want to marry a saloon girl?’

  ‘Ha, MbuyaMaTwins, are we saloon girls not women also?’

  ‘No Genia, you know what I mean, there are saloon girls and then there are saloon girls. You and Kindness are very different types, she was her own type, that one.’

  ‘Anyway, myself I think this boyfriend is the one who drove a red Mercedes,’ said Matilda.

  MbuyaMaTwins heaved herself into the chair below with an exclamation and laid her head on the sink. Shylet opened the taps and put a finger under the water to test its temperature as she asked, ‘Are you talking about the man who bought lunch for us the other day? The one she went with to Victoria Falls? Because that one did not drive a silver Pajero.’

  ‘No, that was someone else. He did not drive a red Mercedes either,’ said MaiShero. To Matilda, she said, ‘Tell your junior to stop interfering in news that does not concern her.’

  ‘You mean she had three going at the same time?’ said MbuyaMaTwins. As Shylet ran water over her hair, she continued to chew at her maize cob, almost absentmindedly, her face still frowned in disbelief.

  ‘Kuda zvinhu, Kindness,’ said Matilda.

  ‘Makwatuza!’ saidMaiShero.

  ‘Makwatikwati,’ said Zodwa.

  With MbuyaMaTwins’s quizzical prompting, the four women speculated over which of the three boyfriends could have been her killer. It could not be the junior doctor, said MaiShero, because he did not live in Northfields.

  ‘But imagine if he followed her there, MaiShero,’ said Zodwa. ‘Maybe he found her with another man, what would you do if you were him?’

  MaiShero said Kindness had been seen two nights ago in the red Mercedes. But the night before, she had been in the Pajero.

  ‘Maybe,’ said MbuyaMaTwins, struck by a charitable thought, ‘maybe it is the same man. You know these dealers, they all have different cars. Maybe it was the same man, just in different cars.’

  ‘Then,’ said MaiShero, ‘he must have changed his body type too, because I saw the men and they looked different from behind. Maybe they are alike in the front area.’

  ‘Makwatuza!’ said Genia.

  ‘Makwatikwati!’ said MaiShero.

  At that moment, a young man came in through the open door. The wide smile on his face was almost as big as the large box in his arms. ‘Hesi vana mothers,’ he said. ‘Today I have crisps, doughnuts, maputi, sausages, fish, belts, afro combs, phone chargers and cellphone covers. I also have a very good traditional herb for period pain that can also keep wandering husbands close and that’s also good for teething babies and for curing bad luck.’

  ‘Let’s see the fish,’ said MaiShero. ‘Is it fresh, Biggie?’

  ‘It is very fresh. Fresh smoked fish just for you,’ said Biggie.

  ‘Biggie you are back with that smelly fish of yours, when will you learn we don’t want it. It’s that Lake Chivero fish that swims in people’s faeces and urine, isn’t it?’ This was Zodwa.

  ‘From Kariba straight, mothers,’ said Biggie. ‘This is fresh fish fresh from Lake Kariba. Do I look like I would sell you fish from Chivero?’

  ‘But what is to say that it really is from Kariba?’ Zodwa pushed him. ‘Did you go yourself to catch it yourself with your own two hands, Biggie?’

  ‘Mothers, when have I ever sold you something that was not genuinely and really real?’

  ‘Biggie, where do I even start? You once sold us relaxing cream that made the hair even harder after you relaxed it.’

  ‘And there was that soap that he said had glycerin in it but it produced no suds, yaisapupira kana one day,’ said Zodwa.

  ‘And what about . . .’

  ‘Okay, mothers, okay,’ said Biggie. ‘Why can’t you just forget some of these things? Even Jesus made mistakes. But maybe the clients are interested?’

  He thrust the box before Pepukai, who shook her head.

  ‘Don’t shake your head,’ said Matilda, ‘I am planting the braids now.’

  ‘What about you, MbuyaMaTwins?’ said Biggie.

  ‘Undikwanire semari yebhazi iwe,’ MbuyaMaTwins said. ‘Last time, you sold me those batteries that didn’t run. You still have not given me back my money.’

  ‘What about you, Shylet? A smoking girl like you needs something to make you even more smoking. How about some smoked fish for a chimoko?’

  Shylet giggled and said, ‘Ah, you also, Biggie.’

  At Shylet’s giggle, the four women around Pepukai eyed and nudged each other.

  ‘I will take the fish,’ said MaiShero. ‘I am thinking maybe Ba’Shero might like it.’

  ‘If Ba’Shero can eat that fish,’ said Zodwa, ‘then he is a man among men.’

  ‘Biggie,’ said MaiShero, ‘I will give your money tomorrow.’

  ‘Kahwani mothers,’ he said. ‘No problem at all. Any excuse to come back.’ He grinned at Shylet as he spoke. She smiled behind her hand. He was about to say more when his phone rang. He answered it on speaker. Into the salon, a tinny voice shouted, ‘I have no airtime. Ndiri kwaMushayabha . . .’ before the phone cut.

  As he pocketed his phone, Biggie said, ‘NedzaKindness. Someone in the butchery says Kindness was axed by some man?’

  ‘She was shot, not axed,’ said Zodwa.

  ‘There was no axe? Are you sure? I heard it was an axe.’

  ‘But even if there were, she is still late, nhai Biggie.’

  ‘So what is going to happen?’

  ‘We are waiting to hear where the mourners are gathered. As soon as we are done with this one, we are off.’

  ‘But mmm, that Kindness, well, I shall not say, but mmm, she was special that one.’

  ‘Iwe,’ Zodwa rebuked him. ‘You should concentrate on selling your smelly fish and one-stop herbs, what do you know about Kindness?’

  ‘Sorry mothers, palaters.’

  ‘MaiShero,’ Zodwa continued as Biggie left, ‘how can you buy that smelly fish? You can’t keep it here otherwise we will all end up smelling of fish. You had better ask Matilda’s junior to take it to the butcher next door.’

  ‘Shylet,’ MaiShero called.

  The junior had finished washing MbuyaMaTwins’ hair, setting it in rollers, and had settled the client under the hairdryer. She abandoned her chair near the sink, where she had been plaiting her own hair, and came over.

  ‘Take this to the butcher. I will pick it up when I go home.’

  The girl shuffled out.

  ‘I bet you she won’t come back in a hurry,’ said Genia. ‘You saw how she was with that Biggie. She has been making eyes at that butcher boy too, next door.’

  Making her voice louder to be heard over the sound of the dryer, MbuyaMaTwins boomed, ‘You mean that pimply boy who looks like he has not had a
shower since nineteen gochanhembe?’

  ‘Ah,’ said Matilda. ‘She would even go with a hwindi this one, she is not fussy. She will drop her pants at the sight of a Coke. These are some of the Kindnesses in the making.’

  ‘Makwatuza!’ said MaiShero.

  ‘Makwatikwati,’ laughed Zodwa.

  ‘Kuda zvinhu,’ said Genia.

  Shylet returned as they laughed and Matilda immediately turned the conversation. ‘Imagine. People like Biggie, of all people, are now commenting on Kindness, can you imagine?’

  ‘Who did not know about Kindness?’ said Genia.

  ‘Even in Engineering, even in Five Pounds, they know about Kindness,’ said MbuyaMaTwins.

  They looked up at the sound of a sleek, silver car pulling up to park outside. The woman who emerged from the driver’s seat wore a dark grey suit, elegant heels and sunglasses. Her cropped hair framed her face. As she entered, she pushed up her glasses.

  They looked at her in silence.

  In a low, pleasant voice, she said, ‘Afternoon ladies, I am looking for Judith.’

  ‘Judith went to China two weeks back,’ said Zodwa.

  ‘Oh yes, she did say she may be going,’ the woman said. ‘When is she back, do you know, because I have been trying to reach her.’

  ‘She comes back Thursday.’

  ‘Oh, thank you, I will call her then.’

  ‘Is there anything we can do?’ MaiShero asked.

  ‘No, that’s fine,’ she said with a smile. ‘I have to take one of my children to play in a tennis tournament this afternoon. I could have stayed if it was not for that, so I will just wait for Judith. Thank you, ladies,’ she said.

  Several eyes followed her to the door and to her car. Even before she had driven off, MbuyaMaTwins was asking, ‘And who is this tennis tournament one?’

  She had poked her head from under the dryer and was trying to scratch her scalp with the rollers on her head. Shylet jumped to attend to her and reset the rollers.

  ‘That is one of Judith’s clients, you know Judith goes out more and more these days, she is making herself exclusive to a few clients,’ said MaiShero. ‘She goes to their homes, they don’t have to come here.’

  ‘Hoo,’ said MbuyaMaTwins, ‘is that why she was looking at us like we were something under her shoe? Because she is a special tennis one who gets her hair done at home?’

  ‘I thought she was nice,’ said Shylet as she shifted the rollers.

  ‘Nice chiiko, you should talk what you know about,’ said MaiShero.

  ‘Did you see that car?’ said MbuyaMaTwins. ‘How did she buy it? With money from where? Do you think such money is clean? There must be something behind it. Harare yabatabata vasikana.’

  ‘Vanobatabata!’ said MaiShero. ‘You read that story about that small house in Borrowdale, sleeping with that mad man. This is exactly the sort of thing women like that do, you think it is money from just working?’

  ‘Ah,’ said MbuyaMaTwins, ‘are you saying that woman is a small house?’

  ‘She isn’t any man’s kept mistress,’ said Shylet. ‘Judith said she has a very good job, she runs a big bank in town. She is not a small house.’

  ‘Exactly what I mean,’ said MbuyaMaTwins. ‘You would not believe the things that go on in banks. My own husband once wanted to take a job in a bank. I said to him, and this is what I said, no thank you, I said to him. I know those bank women. I would rather we suffered, yes, I would rather eat plain vegetables, even cooked with no cooking oil, than have you work with women like that. Even up to now, he is not working.’

  ‘She probably got into the bank through being a small house,’ said MaiShero.

  ‘She is a widow,’ said Shylet. ‘Her husband died in a car accident three years back.’

  There was a silence until MaiShero said, ‘Well, some of these widows, you would never believe they are widows. There was this funeral I went to last week, at the church of Ba’Shero’s cousin brother, and can you believe the widow wasn’t even covered in a wrapper cloth or headscarf or anything, she wore a smart dress, kashiftso, and it was not even black-black but blue-black. She had high heels on, can you imagine, high heels at a grave site, just like that woman, and sunglasses too, just like that one.’

  ‘Achitoti akatopfeka sorry?’ said MbuyaMaTwins. She was back in the dryer, her face aghast with shock at what she was hearing. ‘What sort of mourning outfit do you call that?’

  ‘It was like she was going to a wedding, she even had makeup on, and a black hat.’

  ‘There will be something there,’ said MbuyaMaTwins. ‘Mark my words. Before the year is out, you will have heard something.’

  ‘Ah,’ said Matilda, ‘it would not surprise me at all.’

  A sharp-eyed woman in a TM supermarket cashier’s uniform entered, bringing with her the strong smell of the orange she was peeling and eating. Her TM name tag indicated that her name was Plaxedes. As she greeted the others, she approached Pepukai to admire the now almost completed braids. Pepukai could smell the orange on her hands as Plaxedes gathered up the plaits to examine them closer.

  ‘This is nice, girls, this is nice,’ Plaxedes said. ‘Maybe I should have this next time, what do you think?’

  Without stopping for breath, she said to Pepukai, ‘Is your hair natural?’

  She pulled at the little of Pepukai’s hair that still remained to be braided. Again, Pepukai was hit by the smell of oranges.

  Pepukai said, ‘Yes, it is, it is natural.’

  ‘Hoo. Ende futi makazochena. What perfume are you wearing?’

  ‘I think it’s called Jardin sur Nil,’ said Pepukai. She was now being suffocated by the orange smell.

  ‘Jadan chii?’

  ‘Jardin sur Nil,’ said Pepukai. The smell of orange was threatening to overpower her.

  ‘What language is that?’ asked Plaxedes.

  ‘Erm, French, I think.’

  ‘Hoo, saka munototaura French?’

  ‘Not really, no,’ Pepukai said. ‘I don’t speak French.’

  ‘It smells expensive. It must be expensive. Is it expensive? How much is it? Where do you live?’

  ‘NdeveLondon ava,’ said Genia, with an air of ownership.

  ‘London! Zvenyu! But why is your skin so dark? You don’t look at all like you live in London. When do you go back?’

  ‘My flight is tonight,’ said Pepukai. ‘I leave at ten tonight.’

  ‘Zvenyu!’ said Plaxedes. ‘My sister went there only seven months, she was in London but not London exactly, she was in Men Chester, do you know it, and she was almost as light as a Coloured when she returned. She was deported. Do you have a white man? But you don’t look like the ngoma kurira mbira dzenharira type, that’s what white men like in Africans, women who just look rough so.’

  ‘Stop going on about white men,’ said MaiShero. ‘Have you not heard about Kindness?’

  ‘Kindness?’

  ‘Kindness is late. She has passed away.’

  ‘Haa?’

  In her surprise, Plaxedes pulled at Pepukai’s hair.

  Pepukai winced, but the other woman did not notice.

  Plaxedes pointed to Kindness’s empty station. ‘Do you mean this Kindness, this one right here?’

  ‘That Kindness,’ MbuyaMaTwins called out from under the dryer.

  ‘Uyu Kindness wekuzvinzwa uyu, who walked like her feet did not touch the ground and talked like she was chewing water?’ said Plaxedes.

  ‘That very one,’ said MaiShero.

  ‘That Kindness?’

  ‘That Kindness.’

  ‘How?’

  ‘She was shot by her boyfriend.’

  ‘She was shot by her boyfriend?’

  ‘She was shot by her boyfriend.’

  ‘But that one had so many boyfriends!’

  ‘That is just what we were saying,’ said Matilda. ‘She wanted to be upper-class, that one, and she thought the way to be upper-class was to go out with an upper-class man, now look at her.’<
br />
  ‘Ii, I should let my sister know,’ said Plaxedes.

  For Pepukai’s benefit, she added, ‘That’s the one who was deported from Men Chester, but she is quite well up now. She lives in Ashdorn.’

  Into her phone, she said, ‘Hello. Hello, Kuku. Ipa mhamha phone. Ipa mha . . . Hello, MaiKuku? . . . Ende futi! Iwe, you won’t believe it. Kindness is late . . . Kindness! . . . Kindness mhani iwe, wekunokuFiyo . . . The hairdresser . . . Don’t you remember Kindness? . . . You met her that time at the Food Court at Eastgate, remember? . . . We had gone to watch that film, what was it called? Rabbit, Habit something, the one about those creatures who look like tokoloshis but act like normal people even though they are not actual people. Yes. Hobbit. That’s the one. We had gone to watch Hobbit. And she was walking in front of us and I said to you, MaiKuku, I said, I know that bottom . . . Yes . . . Yes . . . Very big . . . Chivhindikiti so . . . Yes . . . That’s the one. She wore a tight red trouser and a white blouse . . . Yes . . . Hanzi she died . . . Shot . . . I said shot . . . Yes, shot . . . Yes . . . Shot with a gun . . . Ufunge . . . Yes . . . Some boyfriend . . . I don’t know, mira ndivhunze.’

  She turned to Matilda. ‘Where did this happen?’

  ‘Northfields, in town,’ said Matilda.

  Plaxedes turned back to her phone. ‘Northfields . . . Northfields. In town. I said North . . . Ah, I have run out of airtime.’

  ‘Inga ihorror,’ she said. ‘But I have to go. My break is over but I will be back in an hour to find out more. If you are not finished with the braids, I will even come and help.’

  Pepukai breathed at last.

  Plaxedes’s phone rang as she left, and they could hear her say, ‘Northfields . . . Northfields . . . Yes . . . She was shot at Northfields.’

  As soon as she was out of hearing, MaiShero said, ‘Is there a bigger gossip than that Plaxedes?’

  ‘You know, don’t you,’ said Zodwa, ‘that her husband’s sister and aunt actually beat her up once because of her gossiping?’

  ‘She is not the type that you can tell anything,’ said MbuyaMaTwins.

  As she talked, MbuyaMaTwins moved from under the dryer to a dressing station. Shylet stood behind her to unroll her hair from the curlers and style it. MbuyaMaTwins admired her reflection in the mirror. Pepukai thought the wash and set made her neck and head look like a very small mushroom on a particularly bulbous stalk. As Shylet sprayed liberal doses of a particularly smelly moisturiser over the finished hair, Pepukai tried not to cough.