Ride A Cowboy: Romance Novel

by Jamila Jasper

  “They both got her,” Buck said, grabbing Steel’s arm. “One night. They trapped her. She thought she was goin’ to see Joe..She thought...” The old man’s eyes blurred suddenly with tears. “Ah don’t’ know,” he said finally. “Maybe it don’t matter. It was all in the past, anyhow.”

  “Fucking hell.”

  “My daughter passed the chile off as hers. She didn’t want Aja to bear the shame.”

  Steel heard Aja coming down the stairs. “Quick,” he said to Grandpa Buck. “What was the second thing?”

  Buck nodded, throwing a look at the door. “Fiona heard about what they did. She couldn’t take it anymore- her family’s sins.” His eyes clouded; he was struggling to remember something important. Steel fought for patience.

  “She told me-in the will- Fiona hid a second one- in the house-”

  “What did they do with it?” Steel said urgently. “Who was responsible?”

  “No one,” Buck said. “It was never found. They never found nothin’. It all went to her only livin’ relative- Carson. Your own cousin.”

  “Grandpa? Is that you?” Aja called from inside the house.

  “Fiona had a diary,” said Buck quickly. “In the house. She tol’ Fiona had wrote it all down. Wrote down all of what she done, to be safe. Find the diary, find the will. Maybe them no-good Tuckers done right by us after all.”

  It sounded like Buck was talking about two different people, but it was too late for Steel to ask him. Aja emerged.

  “Grandpa?” Aja said, smiling. “What you doin’ out here?”

  “Ah’m talkin’ to Mr. Gray, sugar-mine,” said Grandpa Buck. His voice snapped back to it’s usual placid tone. He opened his arms to hug Aja when she came outside. Steel noticed her eye makeup was gone. Had she been crying?

  “Where y’all goin’ today?” he asked her kindly. His tone was so natural, but Steel was reeling from their conversation still. He found it hard to control his emotions- rage, rage and fire. He wanted to hit something. Especially at the sight of Aja’s face. She had composed it, carefully arranging her expression. She was hiding her emotions. She was hiding it all from him- trying to be brave.

  “We’re going riding,” Aja said, forcing a bright smile.

  “Aw, horses? Well. Well y’all have fun.”

  “Yep. We might go to Mister Logan’s. See you later, Gramps.”

  “Be good, sugar.”

  They walked to Steel’s car. Steel’s hands were shoved deep in his pockets. Clenched. Thunder clouded his brow. Aja, on her part, was totally silent. Guilty. Of course Steel knew that she hadn’t really forgotten something in the house. He probably thought she was lying. He probably thought she was a whore- she was playing games-

  They climbed into the truck- Steel held the door open for her.

  “Aja,” he said, once they were both inside.

  She looked out the window, avoiding his gaze.

  “Aja, look at me.”

  When she didn’t, he cupped her chin and pulled her face to look him. This time she raised her gaze. It was half defiant, half guilty.

  “What?” she whispered.

  “It was him, wasn’t it?”

  She shook her head. “No, it wasn’t.”

  Why did she keep lying? Why was she trying to protect Joe Snell? After what he’d done to her? For what purpose?

  “You’re lying to me.”

  “Yes,” she said. “Okay? It was Joe. What can I do? He’s got me. He’s got me.”

  “What do you mean?” Steel said. He released her chin, leaning back in his seat. “You’re a free woman. He can’t control you.”

  “You can’t protect me from everything!” Aja snapped. She hated how good he was! Steel, with the concerned blue eyes. With the soldier’s touch. The brave heart that could do anything, stand up to anyone.

  “I can protect you from him. Where is he? Right now? Take me to him.”

  “No.”

  “Damn it, Aja!” He slammed the steering wheel so hard she jumped.

  “I owe him money,” she said loudly. The harsh tone in her voice surprised her. “A lot of money. When Gramps got sick...a year ago. He needed surgery. And we didn’t have insurance.”

  Steel let her continue. She took a deep breath.

  “He said he’d help me. He had it- but it wasn’t his money. I didn’t know that. He just handed me the cash- and I thought I was doing the right thing. But then a couple months ago, before you came…” she took a deep breath. “He started asking for...favors, instead of payments. He wanted me to repay him in other ways. Otherwise, he said he’d frame me for stealing from Carson Tucker, and have Social Services on me. I’d lose the boys, the house...”

  “Favors? What kind of favors?”

  She clenched her fists. “You know exactly what kind.”

  “Jesus,” Steel swore, looking at the roof of his truck. “Jesus Christ. Please tell me you said no. Tell me you didn’t let him-”

  “I didn’t!” Aja cried indignantly. “After what he did to me- those years ago- I couldn’t. I told him go to hell. But I need the money. He owes people too, and I need to come up with it.”

  “No. No you don’t.”

  Aja took a deep, steady breath. Her next words sounded rehearsed, as if she’d repeated them to herself a hundred times before. “Daniel needs to go to college. The boys need money for school. I have to put food on the table. I have to save up for driving lessons. I have to pay that man back. I can do it.”

  “I have the money,” Steel said. “I’ll give it all to you. Right now. ”

  She shook her head. Her hands made fists on her lap again. Steel felt his pressure rising. He’d never felt such a confusing mix of emotions. Mostly rage. He hadn’t been this angry in a very long time.

  “Let me help you.”

  “I can’t take your help. I can’t owe anybody anymore.”

  “You’re going to take this money. I have plenty of it. That’s final, alright?”

  “What you gonna want in return?” Aja snapped. There was a storm in her eyes. “No one is gonna own me like that anymore. I won’t be in debt anymore.”

  “You don’t have a choice, Aja!”

  She tried to slap him; he caught her wrist. He wanted to turn her over his knee. He wanted to kiss her, make her see reason. Even at the height of her fury, she was so beautiful he could hardly stand it.

  But the look on her face said she might claw his eyes out if he tried.

  “Fine,” he said shortly. He released her wrist.

  “I’m leaving,” Aja said. She opened the truck door. “Get off my property.”

  He said nothing. She stormed back to the house. He watched her slam the screen door. Grandpa Buck was still sitting on the porch, staring off into the distance, still as a stone. But Steel knew the old man had been watching.

  Suddenly sick of Boyd, of the Robinsons, and of everything, he decided not to follow her. Steel turned the key in the engine and drove off. The fury was in him, choking him. He let it consume him. He didn’t know where he was going, but his body knew what to do.

  He drove straight to the picnic. He parked on the grass. He got out of the car.

  People were milling about, dressed in their Sunday best. The smell of barbecuing meat and fried chicken drifted on the air- it was still early in the morning, but Boyd liked to do things punctually.

  Steel walked through the small crowd, hardly noticing anything. His mind was fixed to one purpose.

  He was going to find Joe Snell. And he was going to kill him.

  ***

  As fate would have it, Joe Snell was not at the picnic. Steel saw the Robinson boys in the distance. He realized that in some distant way, he was related to Drew Robinson. The boy was his own kin- no wonder he’d felt such a connection with him. The thought soured when he remembered Drew’s origins. But the poor kid couldn’t help who his Pa was. He couldn’t help the circumstances of his birth any more than Steel could.

  The more Steel searched,
the more his anger cooled from blazing fury to a slowly simmering rage. It wasn’t just that an injustice had been done to Aja. It wasn’t just that this sick man was holding it over her head, trying to make her his sex slave. It was that despite it all, Aja wanted him to do nothing about it. She didn’t want his help. She wanted no one’s help! Steel couldn’t understand it.

  Well, whether she wanted it to happen or not, he was taking this into his own hands. Maybe he couldn’t kill Joe Snell. But he could hurt him, and hurt him badly. He could make him leave Aja alone.

  Steel remembered his younger days. In Texas he’d had enough time and space to let the anger go. Then in his twenties, he’d rolled up on the streets of New York, roaming with an Irish gang. He’d been a wild thing then, tall, young, and careless. He couldn’t remember the names of his old buddies, but he remembered how long it had taken him to conquer that rage inside him. And then once he’d joined the army, there had been times where the rage was all he had to keep him going through these long and bloody days. When Steel was in a fury everything in his way became an opponent; he felt nothing but the weight of his fists and the angle of the swing. He’d been a fighter. No one messed with him.

  The army had done a lot to harness that wildness, but it still sat inside him like a sleeping beast. Only once in his sixteen years of service had it woken, and that had cost him his position, but also earned him the respect of a man he admired.

  Steel owed everything about his present circumstance to Nigel Burrows. Sergeant Burrows was an old veteran, and Steel’s mentor. He was heir to a sizeable fortune; he had no children. He developed lung cancer a year before Steel was discharged. Steel would never forget the call from Burrows’ lawyer, informing him of his hero’s death, and that Steel was the sole beneficiary of his estate- valued at 57 million dollars.

  His life had suddenly changed. The one caveat in Burrows’ will: Steel would only receive the money if he spent a year in isolation. Just one year to clear his head, away from everything, away from the city. He could decide when that year would be, and $100,000 of the fortune would go towards establishing him somewhere, where he could live in modest comfort.

  Steel had chosen Boyd. It was an easy decision. He had family ties there.

  It made sense for him to come to Boyd, just like it made sense for Aja to take the money he was offering her to get Joe Snell off her tail. He had plenty of cash now, and in a year he would have plenty more, more than he knew what to do with.

  She was being stubborn. Absurd.

  “Mr. Gray!” A voice broke him from his dark thoughts. He found he’d been standing at the edge of the crowd, perfectly still, his eyes roving over the happy people for a tall man with blue eyes.

  Drew Robinson came bounding over, flushed and happy. Steel looked at the boy with new eyes. Hell, he looked just like Aja. He was even dark, like she was. It made the electric blue of his eyes stand out so sharply. Steel had never seen such a strange looking child. He still couldn’t grasp that this was Aja’s son.

  “Hey kid,” Steel said gruffly.

  “Where’s Aja?”

  “She’s home. You seen the Sheriff anywhere?”

  “No,” said Drew, looking around. “He ain’t here. You looking for him?”

  “Yeah,” said Steel. “Where are your brothers?” He looked around, but Travis and Daniel weren’t where he had last spotted them.

  “I dunno,” Drew shrugged. “I think they was gonna get a ride over to Washitaw.”

  “They left you behind?”

  The kid shrugged, but Steel could tell he was annoyed at being left behind. “I dunno. Travis told me to go back home. Daniel saw you and said come find you, cus if you was here then Aja had to be here too. Why she ain’t with you?”

  “Listen, Drew,” Steel said, laying a hand on the kid’s head. “I need to find the Sheriff.”

  “Oh. Alright.”

  He looked at the kid again. For crying out loud. He couldn’t just leave him alone.

  “Okay, okay. You can come with me.”

  Drew tried to hide his pleasure. “Okay.”

  They walked over to Steel’s truck and got in.

  “I’m about to do something really irresponsible,” he told Drew. Drew looked at him.

  “But I can’t take you with me.”

  “What you mean?” said Drew.

  “I’m gonna teach a lesson to someone. But you can’t come with me, alright?”

  Drew stared ahead. Steel examined him from the corner of his eye. He was sure the kid had been smaller, a few months ago when he arrived in Boyd. He’d be a tall man when he grew up, that was certain.

  I can’t believe this is Aja’s son. Was he like his mother? It seemed so. Was he like his father? Only time would tell.

  “I’m gonna take you back to stay with your grandpa.”

  Drew shook his head stubbornly. “Naw, I wanna come with you.”

  “You can’t. I’m not fucking- I’m not playing around, Drew.”

  “He’s gonna throw you in jail.”

  “This isn’t an argument, kid.”

  “Fine.” When he said that, for a moment he sounded exactly like his mother.

  They drove back to the Robinsons. Steel let him off at the bottom of the path. Drew jumped out and slammed the door without saying goodbye. Steel immediately regretted letting him go. If he knew Drew Robinson, the kid would be back in town within an hour, by himself, and getting into trouble. Drew didn’t mind wandering all over the place alone- a strange trait, for a preteen. Kind of alarming, but I was the same way, thought Steel. It wasn’t that the kid couldn’t handle himself. Steel just didn’t trust a Robinson to stay out of trouble in this town.

  Well, he’d keep an eye out. He watched Drew stomp inside the house. Steel didn’t bother going up again to see if Aja was home.

  ***

  The rest of the day didn’t turn out quite like he expected.

  As soon as he backed out of the Robinson driveway, the truck blew a tire. He didn’t have a spare in the truck bed- he had taken it out to pack roof shingles with Steve Logan-, so he had to hike over to the Tucker place to get it from the shed. He spent a solid forty minutes, red-faced, trying to change the tire. The jack Grandpa Buck loaned him was rusty and useless. Steel had to hike back to the Tucker’s again to get a tool box and a jack. The one he usually kept in the truck was missing.

  Drew Robinson came out of the house to watch him change the spare. He was sipping a tall glass of lemonade with a straw. The kid had forgotten their prior interaction, and seemed to think the whole tire affair was the funniest thing he’d ever seen. He kept asking Steel questions about the truck, but Steel was short on patience, and told him to beat it.

  All of this served to worsen Steel’s mood but cool his temper, and by the time he was done he wanted nothing more than to leave the Robinsons’ driveway and never return. He drove back to the Tucker ranch, parked the truck, stormed inside, and collapsed on the couch. He had a blinding headache.

  ***

  Aja watched Steel struggle with the truck from her bedroom window. She was still furious with him, but that was slowly melting away. How dare he not realize what she had sacrificed? What she had been through?

  She thought of how easily he had offered her the money. She knew should have taken it. Her brothers were more important than her pride. She had a duty to them above everyone else.

  But Aja Robinson was tired of everyone owning her. She had relied on herself this long, after her mother had died, to keep everything together. She was worked every day to the bone. She told herself she could pull herself out of this, like she had every other time.

  But deep inside, she knew that wasn’t true. This was bigger than both of them.

  Steel was so brave. So strong. Her protector, her man. She looked at his enormous frame in the driveway, rubbing his temples in frustration, and she couldn’t help but smile. He had somehow fit himself in her life. How had that happened so quickly? In just a few months she’d grow
n to trust him. He’d made a world of a difference with Drew’s behavior, Travis’s attitude, and Daniel’s positivity. He encouraged the boys. He helped them. He taught them. And through it all, she knew he cared about her deeply. Maybe- if she dared to hope- maybe he even loved her.

  Yet even that wasn’t enough to make her go down there and apologize. Because once she did that, she had to accept his help. And who knew what that would lead to?

  Her phone chimed. She closed her eyes, begging for strength and patience. It wasn’t Steel. It wasn’t her brothers.

  Joe: See me tonight. By Wren Hollow. Alone.