Meant To Be

by Fiona McCallum

  ‘Well, I reckon Simone would match the covering on the chair to the curtains and put a matching cushion on the bed to tie it in,’ Jake said thoughtfully.

  ‘Hmm,’ Emily agreed absently while still taking in the new colour. The longer she looked at it, the more she liked it. And she was also starting to see where pieces of furniture could go. It was actually quite exciting.

  Looking back down at the carpet, she noticed that there was quite a bit of black in the design. By bringing out the deep pink of the roses, she seemed to have also inadvertently highlighted their subtle black edging. It was interesting how colour worked.

  Perhaps black and white check would work for the curtains and upholstery. Emily brought a finger to her lips and tapped while she thought. Suddenly a bubble of inspiration burst in her head. She opened her mouth to share, but Jake, who had been silently taking in their surroundings, spoke at exactly the same moment.

  ‘I think a mossy green check might work well for the upholstery and curtains – and you could do a matching roman blind for extra insulation, if it’s needed.’ Jake was now squatting on the carpet and tapping a finger on it. ‘See, there’s quite a bit of green in here.’

  Emily laughed. ‘I just had the same thought. Why try to be clever when someone else has already done the colour matching for me?’ she said.

  ‘Exactly. And it really is lovely carpet. I bet it cost a fortune in its day,’ Jake added.

  ‘It’s pretty feminine,’ Emily said.

  ‘Nothing wrong with that. I happen to like feminine,’ he said, standing upright and drawing her into another hug, and nuzzling her neck.

  ‘I need a shower. Care to save some water with me?’

  ‘Well, I’ve probably got some paint splotches I need help removing.’ She grinned.

  Later they lay stretched out naked in bed. They had made love and snuggled, and finally become too warm.

  ‘So how was your day playing farmer again?’ Emily asked, rolling onto her side to look at Jake.

  His face lit up. ‘Great. Today I got to see a boom sprayer in action! I wish they didn’t have to use chemicals, but it seems there’s no getting around it. I thought it was lovely and green, considering it’s the middle of summer. But David tells me the summer weeds are a big problem. It’s hard to follow sometimes. I thought farmers always wanted rain. But apparently the last lot they had has now caused problems. Beats me.’

  Emily fleetingly thought about how lax John had been with chemical safety – he’d never even worn gloves for measuring out chemicals. ‘I hope you wore safety gear.’

  ‘Yeah, David’s a stickler in that department. You hear about farmers taking risks and not being careful, but we were covered from head to toe.’

  ‘So, are you off with him again tomorrow?’

  ‘Yep, if that’s okay with you – just a couple more hours rolling up at his place. So, I’ll need the car, unless you need to go anywhere?’

  ‘No, that’s fine. But as long as you’re not overdoing it.’ Emily hated being a nag, but she was concerned about him.

  ‘I’m feeling good. Even better now…’ he said, grinning cheekily at her. He reached an arm across and traced a finger the length of Emily’s bare belly, causing her to shudder with pleasure again.

  *

  Emily woke the next day feeling very excited. She and Barbara were heading to Port Lincoln for a girls’ day out – an all-day shopping trip. Since meeting, they’d idly discussed it a number of times, but Emily had never fully committed. It wasn’t that she hadn’t wanted to go, but she had always figured that being unable to actually spend money on anything but the barest of bare essentials would make for a depressing day. And window-shopping wasn’t her idea of fun.

  What could be worse than seeing all those beautifully displayed windows, shop floors, and advertisements when one couldn’t afford to indulge? What if she lost her willpower for a moment and whipped out her credit card as if it wasn’t real money leaving her account? So, Emily had decided it was best to avoid the temptation altogether.

  Today would be an entirely different story, though she would still have to keep herself in firm check. Having been so tightly restrained for so long – whilst married to John and then so cash-strapped for the past few months – a stray purchase was bound to signal something in her brain akin to opening the floodgates. Luckily Barbara wasn’t a frivolous shopper, so she would help keep her on the straight and narrow.

  For a fleeting moment Emily wondered if Barbara would want to spend the day trawling baby shops. It was still very early days, but it might be nice to pick up a little present for the baby. Would that make her clucky? Oh well, she’d just have to wait and see.

  Jake was still asleep, so she carefully got out of bed, stepped around Grace in her position on the floor, dragged her bathrobe from the hook on the back of the door, and made her way through to the bathroom to shower.

  A few minutes later, Jake wandered in while she was rinsing her hair and humming to herself.

  ‘Someone’s chirpy this morning,’ he said, opening the sliding shower screen to give her a quick peck. ‘Nothing like the lure of the big smoke full of bright, shiny objects, huh?’

  ‘Yep. Can’t wait.’

  ‘I can tell. So do we need a big breakfast? You know what they say about not shopping on an empty stomach.’

  ‘No, thanks. And I think that only applies to food shopping. We’re going to start with cake and coffee when we get there. Not ideal nutrition, but hey!’ Emily said, turning off the shower and then stepping out into the towel Jake held out for her. ‘So what are you up to today, more playing farmer with David?’

  ‘Something like that.’

  Emily caught an odd sort of look cross his face ever so briefly, almost like caginess. Perhaps it was slight embarrassment at her gentle ribbing. But it wasn’t like he’d complained before.

  ‘I’ll have you know,’ Jake continued, full of mock seriousness, ‘the fact that I can now competently operate a tractor and boom sprayer means I’ve risen above the ranks of mere “playing”.’

  ‘Does that mean you’re looking at a career change, dear?’ she asked.

  ‘Becoming a farmer? Hell, no! God, far too many things can go wrong that you have no control over! Though, I have to admit, I am quite enjoying being David’s lackey – all care and no responsibility. It’s kind of nice for a change. But all good things must come to an end.’

  ‘Surely you’re not thinking of heading back to your business already. I didn’t think you’d last six months, but it’s only been a couple of weeks! Are you sure it’s wise? You seem fine, but what if…?’

  Jake placed his hands on each side of her face and looked deeply into her eyes. ‘Don’t worry, petal, I’m not getting fully back into work mode, and I’m not thinking of leaving you to head back to Melbourne.’

  Emily coloured slightly. ‘Oh, I’m not worried about me, I…’

  ‘It’s okay. I only meant I need to get back in touch with things a bit. Starting with going up to Whyalla to check on the Civic Centre project. Actually, I’ve been considering setting up an agency over here. There doesn’t seem to be anyone else doing old buildings – especially in stone.’

  And with that he walked out, leaving Emily with a head full of questions. An agency? Here in Wattle Creek? Was he just winding her up? She stood there dripping onto the bathmat for a few moments until her brain kicked back into gear and she remembered she didn’t have long to get herself ready.

  As she started the hairdryer, she told herself not to worry; Jake wasn’t one to drop a bombshell like that and walk away unless he was just joking.

  One thing was true, though. As far as she knew, there wasn’t anyone on the whole of the Eyre Peninsula who specialised in building with stone. That was no doubt why the new cellar doors popping up about the place were constructed out of corrugated iron and why old homesteads were being torn down and replaced with kit homes and transportable buildings. One of the huge problems with livi
ng so far away from the big cities was that freight made everything more expensive. The lack of competition didn’t help either.

  As Emily put some sunscreen on her face and added pale pink lipstick, she thought Jake might have just struck upon a good idea. Knowing him, he wouldn’t have mentioned it without at least looking part way into it. She wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he’d started looking into possibilities after that first trip with Elizabeth, or even that that was why he’d visited the area in the first place.

  She let out a sigh as she told herself to leave the subject alone. She was desperately trying not to be like her mother – who asked questions non-stop and pried and prodded unnecessarily. No, she would be mature and non-controlling and not say a word until Jake brought it up again. And she would certainly not be all needy and demanding to know if he was planning to stay.

  Just let it be, she told herself. It was a phrase that ran through her head often when spending time with her parents.

  ‘You look nice,’ Jake said, looking up as Emily wandered into the kitchen all ready to go.

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘Time for a coffee?’ he asked, getting up.

  Emily checked her watch. ‘Yes, please, but I’ve only got ten minutes.’

  As Jake made her coffee, Emily sat down with her list. ‘Are you sure there isn’t anything you want me to get you?’ she asked.

  ‘Actually, I wouldn’t mind a new book to read – some crime, say from James Patterson, Lee Child, one of the Kellermans – if you go into a bookshop,’ he said, putting a mug of steaming milky coffee in front of her. ‘I really want to get back into reading now I’ve got the time.’

  ‘Okey-dokey,’ she said, adding the authors’ names to her list. She picked up her cup. ‘Mmm, thank you.’

  ‘I’ll get you some money,’ he said.

  ‘No, don’t worry about it. We can sort it out later. Or, I can take it in kind,’ she said, leaning towards him and planting her lips on his.

  ‘Aren’t you becoming quite the little minx?’ he said. ‘I don’t want you to go now.’

  ‘Hmm.’ Emily enjoyed the effect her kisses had on him.

  ‘Okay,’ he said, running a hand through his hair and drawing a line in the conversational sand. ‘That’s some list you’ve got there,’ he said, leaning over.

  ‘Uh-huh,’ Emily said, trying to banish thoughts of Jake’s naked body from her mind. ‘It’s mostly stuff I want to check out – you know, furniture and decorating ideas for the study.’

  She had initially wanted to add curtains, quilt cover, sheets and towels, but had stopped herself. While it would be nice to start afresh, she couldn’t go blowing money just for the sake of it. It would be far too easy to leave behind her lifetime of frugality and go crazy.

  ‘I’d like to visit a few antiques and bric-a-brac shops. You know, to find some one-off pieces with character. But it won’t hurt to check what’s available new.’

  Suddenly there was the sound of a friendly toot toot of a car horn.

  ‘Well, that’s me,’ Emily said. She leaned over for what was meant to be a quick peck, but Jake grabbed her around the waist and pulled her onto his lap and the kiss became more passionate.

  ‘God you’re sexy,’ she growled, shaking her head with frustration as she eased herself out of his clutches.

  ‘Jesus, you can’t say something like that and then just walk out the door.’

  ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘Hold that thought until tonight.’

  ‘Do you want to drive me crazy?’ He groaned and put his head in his hands on the table.

  The truth was, if Barbara wasn’t outside waiting for her, she could imagine them tearing each other’s clothes off right there in the kitchen. Emily was a little shocked at the strength of her feelings. She took a deep breath and shook her head.

  ‘Bye Gracie.’ She gave the dog a brief pat before retrieving her handbag from the nearby chair.

  ‘See you later. Have fun,’ Jake said.

  ‘I will, you too,’ Emily called, already halfway out the sliding door. She gleefully skipped down the path before leaping into Barbara’s car.

  ‘Ready for a fun day of shopping?’ Barbara said after they’d exchanged quick kisses and hugs.

  ‘Yes, onwards James!’ Emily said, clapping her hands together.

  As they drove onto the main dirt road, Emily noticed a ute coming towards them. They returned David’s wave as he drove past.

  ‘What are those two up to, anyway? Jake was weirdly vague.’

  ‘Dunno. You know men,’ Barbara said with a shrug. ‘Probably just pottering around on the farm; secret men’s business and all that.’

  Emily glanced at her friend. Was Barbara trying to avoid saying something? ‘Well, we’ve got our own secret women’s business going on,’ she said, and slapped her hands on her knees a little more forcefully than she’d intended.

  *

  Emily spent the whole day unable to wipe a slightly ridiculous grin off her face. She couldn’t help it; it was just so wonderful to be out with her best friend, shopping, and with not a care in the world.

  After an hour-and-a-half drive, they arrived at the shopping street that ran along the picturesque foreshore of the seaside city. They found a park right outside their chosen café and headed in. Without consultation, they both ordered lattes and carrot cake, laughing at their synchronicity.

  ‘How totally decadent,’ Emily declared as she pushed her fork into her cake with its luscious cream cheese icing.

  ‘Yes, should be more of it,’ Barbara agreed.

  After coffee and cake, they shopped, ate a lovely café lunch, and shopped some more, scouring the two main shopping strips for everything on their lists. A number of times they laughed about how exhausting shopping was – usually just as they pushed the door open into another store.

  Despite wandering the shops all day, Emily only purchased some necessities and two books for Jake. She saw plenty of things she liked, especially in the large furniture store, but with big, expensive items like chairs, desks and curtains, she wanted to take her time and make a careful, informed decision. She did, however, manage to surreptitiously take lots of photos with her mobile phone while Barbara distracted the sales staff.

  They visited a shop chock full of baby gear, and Emily oohed and aahed over the tiny items of clothing Barbara held up, imagining the little person who might one day wear them. But as they roamed the racks, cooing over booties and singlets and onesies, Emily was a little disappointed to find no stirrings of a maternal nature in herself. It was a pity. How good would it be for two best friends to have their kids grow up together? Even better if they had a boy and a girl between them. She shook the thoughts aside as she realised Barbara was leaving the store, and hurried to catch up.

  ‘You didn’t buy anything?’ she said. ‘I thought you were going to get that cute little jumpsuit.’

  ‘I was, but I got scared. I don’t want to jinx things.’

  ‘It’s okay to be scared,’ Emily replied, and linked her arm through Barbara’s to reassure her. ‘But you can’t have the poor little thing arriving into the world with no clothes to wear,’ she added, smiling warmly.

  ‘I’ve got plenty of time,’ she said, clearly trying to sound more exuberant than she felt.

  ‘I guess that means we’ll have to come back for another shopping trip!’

  They reluctantly declared the day’s shopping over at five o’clock, leaving just enough time to have a fortifying hot chocolate before embarking on the long trip home.

  Weary and all talked out, they both sat silently staring into their mugs for a few moments.

  Emily found herself again thinking about her life with John.

  She remembered how he’d encouraged her to give up her job when they got married. At the time she’d seen it as his way of showing he loved her and his desire to take care of her; fulfilling his duty as husband. Now she could see how naïve she’d been. It wasn’t anything to do with love. It was all
about control.

  God, she wished she could stop thoughts of John popping up, and of her mother for that matter. Enid was Enid. She wouldn’t ever change. As Jake said, she’d have to learn to live with her and stop bitching about it. Well, he hadn’t been quite so forceful… She laid her teaspoon on the saucer and picked up her mug and sipped, concentrating on the hot earthiness and soaking up its comfort.

  ‘How much fun is this?’ Barbara said. Emily was jolted from her reverie.

  ‘Yep, brilliant,’ Emily replied.

  ‘So what’s up?’ Barbara asked, putting her cup down and looking at Emily.

  ‘Nothing. Why do you ask?’

  ‘Well, you’ve been all smiles all day and suddenly you look like…’

  ‘Just tired, I guess,’ Emily said, and took another sip of hot chocolate.

  Barbara continued to stare pointedly at her friend with raised, questioning eyebrows, but said nothing.

  ‘All right, you win,’ Emily said with a tight laugh. She fiddled with her teaspoon. ‘I was just thinking how long it’s been since I was able to shop without worrying about every cent. And then about John’s reaction when I got home.’

  ‘Which should have you feeling ecstatic, not glum!’ Barbara declared with bewilderment.

  ‘I made such a mistake marrying him, and giving up my job,’ Emily continued wistfully.

  ‘Yes, we all know that. But you fixed it. You left the brute. And now he’s gone. So, come on, you have to let it go. We all make mistakes; it’s what you do with what you’ve learnt that’s the important thing.’

  Hmm, something Gran might have said, though probably not quite so gently. Granny Mayfair could never abide self-pity, and wasn’t afraid to point it out if she saw it.

  ‘And don’t you dare mention that crap about being a failure! That’s Enid’s bag, not yours. Might I remind you again, my dear friend, that this is the twenty-first century and that you don’t need a man in order to be fulfilled. If you want one, fine! And you’ve got a bloody nice one waiting at home, who I know for a fact would do anything to make you happy! So stop feeling sorry for yourself, finish your drink, and let’s head on home to our gorgeous menfolk!’