Meant To Be

by Fiona McCallum

  Barbara had told her more than once that if you thought too much about what you feared happening, it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

  In recent times, Emily had often wanted to say something similar to Barbara regarding her fear over losing the baby, but had never found the right way to say it. She didn’t want to sound like she was throwing Barbara’s philosophical beliefs in her face. But she couldn’t help thinking that if Barbara just got on with life – instead of fretting about doing the tiniest thing in case it might harm the baby – she would be better off.

  But really, what would I know?

  What she did know was that she was neglecting their friendship because of the cottage project. She knew Barbara didn’t resent her for it, but perhaps if they could hang out together more, her friend might be in a better place psychologically and emotionally.

  It was even worse now that seeding had started and David was spending most of his time off in the paddock, leaving Barbara home alone with her fears. Even though Emily wasn’t religious, she did still sort of pray. Well, raised her eyes skyward and silently begged the atmosphere around her to give Barbara a healthy baby and return her well-adjusted, laid-back friend to her.

  She knew a baby would change everything, but she just hoped Barbara would return to trusting the universe to do its thing.

  ‘All packed and ready to go,’ Simone announced, entering the lounge and throwing herself onto the vacant couch.

  ‘I’m going to miss you,’ Emily said. ‘It’s gone far too quickly, but it’s been so good to have you stay. And to get to know you a bit better.’

  ‘Me too. But we’ve got lots of time to get to know each other now we’re going to be related,’ Simone said, beaming. ‘I’m so happy for you guys. Anyway, I’d better get back home and get busy on the paintings,’ she continued. ‘I wonder if the boss would let me take a month off to play artist like he’s playing farmer,’ she said, raising her eyebrows in question at Jake.

  ‘How many times do I have to tell you two? Tractor driving is not playing. And, anyway, I’m still running the project while I’m doing it. I’m multi-tasking like you women are always on about. It’s actually not so hard,’ he added with a challenging grin. ‘But seriously, Sim, do you want some time off to paint?’ he asked.

  ‘I wouldn’t mind, actually,’ Simone said a little coyly.

  ‘Well, you’ve got plenty of leave owing.’

  ‘But you’re not there.’

  ‘But Angus is. And Toniette. It’s JKL and Associates, remember? You keep telling me not to worry, that everything is going along fine without me. And that Andrew is proving a great asset. Winter is coming and the Hansen job has had the plug pulled, so it’s quiet anyway. The other guys can run the place and focus on looking for new work while you take a month off.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Of course. As if I’m going to shackle you to the place if you don’t want to be there. I don’t want my best employee and business partner getting so jack of it all she ups and leaves me permanently.’

  ‘What if my paintings sell like Emily’s jam and I become a famous artist overnight,’ Simone said, waving her arms theatrically.

  ‘Well, we’ll discuss how we’re going to move forward then.’

  ‘You’re pretty safe. It’s not as if that’s likely,’ Simone said.

  ‘How many times do I have to tell you to stop selling yourself short? Your paintings would look right at home in plenty of the galleries I’ve visited,’ Jake said emphatically.

  Emily chimed in. ‘Jake’s right, Simone. I loved the paintings in your house. And I bet plenty of other people will too once they get to see them.’

  ‘Well, you’re both very kind,’ Simone said.

  ‘So, take a month off and enjoy your painting,’ Jake said. ‘End of discussion. I’ll phone Angus on Tuesday morning. Anyway, we don’t want you working so hard you end up a basket case like I almost did,’ Jake said.

  ‘You seem good now, so if that’s what getting out of the office does for the psyche, sign me up!’ Simone said.

  ‘That and good country cooking, fresh air, and the love and attention of a good woman,’ Jake said, putting his arm around Emily and pulling her towards him. ‘I will be forever grateful for you calling Emily that day, Sim,’ he continued. ‘So, consider this the first step in repaying you.’

  ‘You don’t owe me anything, Jake. You’re my big brother and I love you.’ She leant over and kissed him on the cheek.

  Watching this exchange made Emily sad about being an only child. But at least gaining a sister-in-law was better than nothing.

  The flickering television was ignored as the three of them sat up chatting about the next stage of the build and the fit-out before saying an early goodnight and heading off to their rooms just before nine.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Jake said when he and Emily were snuggling in bed. ‘You seem a bit down.’

  ‘Maybe just a bit tired. It’s been a big day.’

  ‘Yes, sorry about that. It’s my fault, springing the ring and second proposal on you.’

  ‘Don’t be sorry, it was lovely.’

  ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’

  ‘I am a bit worried about Barbara,’ Emily said. ‘I’m not sure what to do.’

  ‘Yes, she was very quiet today.’

  ‘Hmm.’

  Just then the home phone rang beside Jake. Emily checked her watch: right on nine. She didn’t like to answer the phone after nine o’clock. It was how she’d been raised.

  ‘Do you want me to answer it?’ Jake asked.

  It might be important. ‘Yes, thanks.’

  ‘Hello, Jake speaking.’ He listened, mouthed, ‘It’s your mother,’ and then pressed the button to activate the speaker. ‘Hello again Enid. What can I do for you?’

  ‘Emily hasn’t phoned me back. You said she would.’

  ‘She’ll call you tomorrow. We’ve just got home after a long day out and we’re really quite tired.’

  ‘Oh, where have you been?’

  Jake shot stricken raised eyebrows at Emily. She felt the urge to say, ‘None of your damned business.’ But he was too well-mannered, so he did what she always did and conceded details.

  ‘Er, we’ve been out for a picnic barbeque with Barbara and David Burton. My sister Simone is visiting from Melbourne for the weekend. She’s leaving first thing in the morning, so we’ve got a very early start.’

  Hint, hint.

  But Enid never seemed to get hints, and tonight was no exception. ‘Oh. Well, I’m very disappointed not to have had the opportunity to meet her. You could have all had lunch here with us. It would have been nice to spend at least some part of the holiday weekend with my daughter. I haven’t seen her for ages,’ said Enid indignantly. Jake pursed his lips and stared at Emily whilst slowly shaking his head.

  And there it is, Emily thought. The guilt trip. She’s blaming Jake for me not visiting.

  ‘We’ve been very busy with the building project, and it hasn’t been that long since we’ve seen you,’ Jake said calmly.

  ‘Oh, did you go ahead with that?’

  ‘Well, yes, we did tell you that. Quite some time ago,’ Jake said into the phone whilst frowning bewilderedly at Emily and shaking his head.

  You were at the bloody launch party! And where do you think Dad’s been spending all his time these last few months? Has Alzheimer’s set in? Like Gran? Do I need to talk to Dad about getting her assessed? She bit her lip.

  ‘Well, I still think it’s a silly idea,’ Enid said in her perfected holier-than-thou tone.

  Jake was becoming exasperated. ‘With all due respect, Enid, it really makes no difference whether you approve or not. Now, if there wasn’t anything else…?’

  ‘I’d like to speak to Emily. I need to discuss the wedding arrangements.’

  ‘Enid, Emily and I are not even sure we want a wedding, as such. Look, could we do this another time? We have an early start in the morning, as I’ve
already said.’

  ‘You can’t not have a wedding!’ Enid said, clearly aghast. The words, ‘What would people think,’ remained unsaid, but Emily knew they were on the tip of her mother’s tongue – they always were.

  ‘We will celebrate our wedding as we wish. Enid, we only became engaged today and really haven’t had a chance to discuss it as yet,’ Jake said. Emily was impressed with his patience.

  ‘Put Emily on, will you please?’

  Jake raised his eyebrows in question.

  Emily reached out for the phone. ‘Mum, it’s Emily. What’s the problem?’

  ‘You didn’t call me back.’

  Oh, God, here we go, right back at the start. She took a deep, calming breath, and silently counted to five.

  ‘I haven’t had a chance yet,’ she said with a deep sigh. ‘I was going to phone you in the morning. I’ve had a long day and I’m very tired.’ She almost added, ‘What with getting engaged and all,’ but there was no point. Enid would still find a way to bring everything back to her.

  ‘You can’t be serious about not having a wedding.’

  ‘Actually, we’re very serious about it, Mum. And, honestly, we’ve got enough going on with the gallery right now…’

  ‘Gallery? What gallery?’

  ‘The building. It’s going to be a gallery.’

  ‘As in an art gallery?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Whatever do you know about art?’

  ‘I know what I like,’ Emily said boldly.

  ‘Oh for goodness sake, Emily.’ This had always been Enid’s fallback line when she disagreed with something but didn’t quite know what to say next.

  ‘Mum, I’m having the courage to take a risk and do something with my life. I have Jake’s full support. And Dad’s. It would be nice to have yours.’ For once. ‘Now, if you don’t mind, we have an early start tomorrow and a very busy day ahead, and need an early night.’

  ‘Oh. Right. Well. Of course I’m supportive, Emily,’ Enid said indignantly.

  ‘Goodnight Mum,’ Emily said, and hung up without waiting for further comment from the other end of the line. She flopped back onto her pillow, feeling considerably more exhausted than before the call.

  ‘She really is something else, isn’t she?’ Jake muttered. ‘I don’t think she’d approve of anything that wasn’t her idea.’

  ‘Probably not,’ Emily said absently while raiding her memory. She came up empty.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  The next morning they saw Simone off at seven o’clock. Then Jake left for another day on the tractor, along with Grace, who had taken to riding around with him.

  It would be his final day sowing on their property. Tomorrow, all going well, David would be moving the tractor and equipment up to his much larger farm. It was a major production that involved utes with flashing orange lights driving ahead to warn oncoming traffic that large machinery was coming along the road. Barbara and Emily would be needed to provide taxi and escort services back and forth.

  Once they moved farms, Emily would hardly see Jake for weeks. He’d come in late, sleep, and leave early the next morning. Everything depended on getting the crop sown as quickly as possible.

  Sitting at the kitchen table with her hands wrapped around a steaming mug of coffee, Emily felt tired, to the point of queasiness. She looked down into the coffee she’d lost all interest in. Her mouth tasted weird – sort of metallic. She got up and went to the sink and emptied the mug.

  She considered phoning Barbara to see if she wanted some company, but they’d spent most of yesterday together.

  She then thought about going back to bed. She was actually starting to feel quite unwell. No, she’d go out and check on the orange tree growing in the back corner of the house yard. Maybe make a batch of marmalade. That might make her feel better. She’d been working so hard for so long taking care of everyone and being involved with the project, she needed to take a day out and do something for herself.

  Emily retrieved her stack of buckets from the laundry, and then checked on her stash of jars. Thankfully John hadn’t disposed of them. She hoped the oranges were ripe and hadn’t gone rotten. She hadn’t been around that side of the house in months – there was never any need to.

  She was in luck. The lone tree surrounded by bare earth was full. It was the one fruit John had liked, and she’d planted it for him to celebrate their engagement. They had discussed planting a veggie patch here as well, but had never got around to it. She picked up the few oranges that had fallen to the ground. Her heart and mood brightened at the prospect of a fun day in the kitchen, just cooking for herself and feeling close to Gran. It would be nice to have enough to send a box to Simone’s friend, Billy, who had the produce store, and to sell in the gallery when it opened.

  *

  It took them all day Tuesday to move the machinery to David and Barbara’s farm, and the whole time Emily continued to feel a little off. A dull nagging nausea always seemed to lurk below the surface, flaring up every now and then. She was sure that if she threw up she’d feel much better. But, as close as she got, she never seemed to cross that particular line. Whatever it was hadn’t turned into a cold or the flu. If she rested and kept eating well, hopefully she would keep whatever was ailing her at bay.

  That evening, after poached eggs on toast for dinner, they went to bed early and sat up discussing progress on the cottage project. Emily would have preferred to just go to sleep, or at least snuggle silently. But Jake was keen to chatter about the building, which now had a completed roof and protection from the rain.

  ‘The doors and windows will go in in the next few days and then the building will be lockable. A major milestone,’ he declared.

  ‘Yes, it looks almost finished from over here now the roof is on,’ said Emily, struggling to focus on the discussion.

  ‘Still quite a bit to do, but it’ll be great to have it at lock-up, especially since I’ll be away at David’s for a while.’

  ‘Yes, perfect timing.’

  ‘It’s going like clockwork, all round,’ Jake said proudly. ‘Thank goodness everyone has been available when we needed them.’

  ‘Yes, we certainly do seem to have luck on our side.’

  ‘And you deserve no less. Once it’s weather-tight, the concrete can get polished and then we’re ready for the cabinetry to go in and the tiling to be done. Then the major heavy work inside will be complete.’

  ‘Great.’

  ‘That, my dear, means we only have a few weeks to decide on the finishing touches. We’d better get back up to Whyalla and buy your chandelier.’

  ‘Yes, we’d better.’ Emily was looking forward to that milestone. They’d left the chandelier until last after deciding that the extra expense of having the electrician come back especially to put it in was a better bet than running the risk of it being hit by ladders being carted in and out.

  She couldn’t believe how fast it was all happening. She’d watched plenty of reality TV renovation shows when contestants only had a week to do a whole room, but she’d never totally believed they didn’t turn the cameras off for a few days here and there. Now she was starting to see that it could in fact be done that quickly.

  She was glad they had started discussing opening functions and guest lists so early after all. When Jake had first mentioned it, she had thought he was jumping the gun a bit, but now she could see he’d been spot on.

  ‘We really need to nail down a logo, if we’re having one. Or at least something to use as branding for the invitations and sign by the road.’

  ‘Hmm,’ Emily replied.

  They had thrown around a few ideas and had decided to try using a photo of her actual button jar instead of having a logo designed. Jake had done some experimental shots and while Emily thought some were great, she wasn’t entirely happy. Did it look too kitsch to include the object? Would people think she was selling buttons? Maybe it would be better to just have the name of the business in a decorative style.<
br />
  Jake had some contacts in graphic design, so she put him in charge of coming up with some concrete ideas. There didn’t seem to be any rush; he had said they would be able to turn such a small job around in a week or so.

  ‘Right,’ Jake said. ‘Here’s my guest list.’

  Emily had already put together a list of her own, which consisted of a few close friends and people in the district she knew reasonably well. She was also going to put an open invitation advertisement in the Wattle Creek Chronicle, so as not to have anyone feel left out. They were keen to have the building full. People could spill out onto the verandahs if necessary.

  ‘Right, so the first column is good friends and family, and close business associates: must invites. The second is people I know and like, but who I don’t know quite so well or aren’t in touch with as much. We can cull from the second list, if necessary. That’s why I’ve included occupations – we can be a bit strategic.’

  Looking at the list, Emily thought the problem would not be culling the invitees, but people not wanting to travel. Other than a few people in Whyalla, everyone on Jake’s guest list lived in Melbourne or in another state.

  But she certainly wasn’t going to be negative. Jake was smart; if he’d put them on the list then he’d done so with some confidence they’d be interested in attending. Listed were journalists, other gallery owners, business people, some people in finance, some in insurance, and a couple who ran a travel agency.

  ‘Isn’t it a bit weird to invite other gallery owners? Aren’t they the opposition?’

  ‘While there’s a certain amount of rivalry, I think they’re generally reasonably supportive and careful not to step on each other’s toes. I’ve had people recommend other galleries showing artists they think I might like when I’ve been in browsing. And by making contacts with different gallery owners, you’ll be in a better place to source good artists for the future. It’s just an idea. None of them might want to travel this far.’