How Hard Can Love Be?
Page 28
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The consequences
Thirty-two
We didn’t have sex.
Not yet. But I knew it was coming, and not one part of me was worried about it.
But we did spend far longer in a motel room than you’re supposed to if you’re meant to be driving across an entire continent.
Eventually, we got dressed. Kyle went out to check the jeep. “I need to make sure the poor thing can make it across. I’ve not even checked the tyre pressure.”
“Wow, you’re one of those ‘real men’ who knows what to do with cars.”
“Stop oppressing me with gender stereotypes.”
And we’d fallen, laughing, onto each other’s mouths and taken our clothes off again.
We went through our route together, using Kyle’s phone to work out a basic plan of action.
“It doesn’t look so far,” I said, looking at the big squiggly line, marking one side of America to the other. “Will we be on Route 66? I’ve always wanted to do that.”
“Umm, no. We’re going a bit further north than that. But we’ll go through Utah, and that’s beautiful, I promise. So, I’ll get the car sorted, and then we need to drive through Death Valley.”
“Ooooh, sounds fun.”
Kyle pulled a face. “It’s beautiful. But it’s a tough drive. We may need to turn the air con off to stop the jeep overheating. Don’t wear many clothes today. In fact, what you’re wearing now is just great. Wear that.”
I was wearing just my bra and a pair of cut-off denim shorts. Kyle wiggled his eyebrows.
“Stop objectifying me.”
“Never!”
We kissed more, until we both had to stop ourselves.
“So, what’s after Death Valley?” I asked.
“Well, we could drive as far as we can, and pull up on the side of the road somewhere. But, I was going to ask you. We go right past Las Vegas. It’s only a four or five hour drive there… How would you feel about…”
“GOING TO LAS VEGAS? LIKE TODAY?”
I stood on the bed and began jumping.
“Well, yes. You can get super cheap rooms there, in the huge hotels like Caesar’s Palace. I thought maybe it would be worth actually seeing something. Because, after that, all we’ll be driving through for the next few days will be desert and farmland.”
I jumped higher. “We’re going to LAS VEGAS?!”
“Yes, we are.”
“Today?”
“We need to check out within the hour.”
I borrowed Kyle’s phone, as his got internet and mine didn’t, and connected to the motel wi-fi while he checked oil levels or whatever.
I was dreading logging into my email, but I guess I had to acknowledge some kind of reality. I had run away from a summer camp with a near stranger after all – though that’s only how it looked from the outside.
I had over twenty unread emails.
From: Management@MountainHideawayCamp
To: LongTallAmber
Subject: Where are you?
Amber, it’s your mum. Where are you? Kevin and I are worried sick! Please, we promise you’re not in trouble. Just come back to camp. Calvin misses you. So do I. Call me anytime and I’ll come get you.
Please, Amber.
From: BrianB
To: LongTallAmber
Subject: Call your mum, now
Amber
Why haven’t you responded to ANY of my emails? And what’s going on? Your mum just called in the middle of the night, in total hysterics. She said you’ve run off with some guy you hardly know? Amber, I beg you to be reasonable. Ring her, now. We are all very worried about you.
From: LottieIsAlwaysRight
To: LongTallAmber
Subject: Can I come?
AMBER
Your dad just called in a right state. You’ve run off with the Prom King guy? That. Is. Amazing. I AM AROUSED JUST THINKING ABOUT IT…
Sorry, that was Lottie. It’s Evie typing now. I’ve explained to Lottie that this can only start being arousing once you’ve told the parents where the hell you are so they stop worrying. Promise me you’ll tell them, Amber! Your dad was a mess. What’s happened over there? Did something happen with your mum? Is this Kyle okay? Promise me you’ve made all your own decisions, and you’ve made them out of a place of strength, not to get back at your mum. I don’t care if you’re angry at me for saying that. This is serious.
SERIOUSLY AROUSING.
That was Lottie again. She keeps taking the keyboard. At the very least, let US know you’re okay. We’re worried. Well, I’m worried. Lottie is dancing around my bedroom and thinks they should make a movie out of this. Please reassure your very worried friend. I will play the OCD card if I have to!
TELL US EVERYTHING. ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM? WILL YOU TAKE PHOTOS OF HIM TOPLESS WHILE HE’S SLEEPING????
Okay – it’s Lottie still. I am worried too. But I trust you, tall one. I trust you to first, let us know you’re all right so we can all calm down. But I also trust you to do what’s best for you. We’re behind you, all the way, you know that.
Seconded – Evie.
Lots of love
x x x x
To: Management@MountainHideawayCamp; BrianB
From: LongTallAmber
Subject: Don’t worry, I’m fine
I’m fine, I’m safe. Don’t worry about me. I’ve got money. Kyle is a good guy. I just can’t be at camp any more. Mum, you can fill Dad in on why.
I’ll get in touch when I’ve worked out flights home and stuff.
I do love you both.
A x
From: LongTallAmber
To: LottieIsAlwaysRight, EvieFilmGal
Subject: RE Can I come?
Hello girlies
Okay, firstly, I am FINE. In fact, I am BETTER than fine. I am sheer wonderful! Do not worry about me honestly.
Yes, I have run off with Kyle.
Yes, this is entirely of my own free will.
No, Lottie, I will not take photos of his bare chest while he sleeps. You are SO bad at objectifying guys sometimes.
Yes, stuff went down between me and Mum. But it was nothing new. I just actually told her how I feel about it for once. I’m okay though. I cried a LOT yesterday, but I’m feeling better. I think I need to do this…
No, not slept with him…yet…
…I’m just leaving room here for Lottie to combust with excitement…
We’re in a small motel in California now, but we leave in a moment for Las Vegas. I promise you I won’t get married. We’re just stopping there for the night at Caesar’s Palace and then heading towards Brown uni, where Kyle goes. We’ve planned out a route, and places to stop and everything. It’s all very thought through and legit. And I can’t wait, guys.
I’m so…happy. Please be happy for me.
I love you both LOADS. I’ll be home at the end of summer, safe and sound, I promise I promise I promise.
Keep me updated on what you’re all up to. I’ll email again when I can.
Lots of love
Amber
x x x
SITUATIONS THAT ARE DESTINED TO FAIL:
Sweat
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No air con
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More sweat
Thirty-three
The drive through Death Valley was deathly.
We left Lone Pine behind, with The Very Best of Andrew Lloyd Webber blasting from the stereo, and drove off into the wilderness with careless abandon. The first stretch of road was so straight Kyle basically steered with his knees as we shot through California – arguing whether or not the phantom from The Phantom of the Opera was fanciable or not.
“I saw it once,” I said. “Dad took us all for Christmas because it’s my stepmum’s favourite. I have to say, I was…taken with him. I was only, like, fourteen, and SO angry because Dad had only just left my mum… But the phantom distracted me and I had all these dreams about him, and wished I was Christine.”
I shrugged. “I swear, sometimes, there’s something about what you find sexually attractive as a girl that is very confusing, especially if you’re supposed to be a feminist,” I said. “Technically, I am against abusive stalkerish behaviour. Murder, of course, is a big no-no. And yet…when he does all that almost-touching stuff with Christine…and the way he’s so, like, obsessed with her. Well, I kind of got off on it.”
“You should be very ashamed of yourself. You know that, right?”
“Oh, I am, believe me.” I laughed and looked out the window. There were loads of weird billboards alongside the main roads of America and I’d started trying to take photos of them to show the girls. Most of them were pretty tame stuff – giant posters of Jesus and the American flag emblazoned with “God Bless America”. But we’d passed at least one sinister abortion one.
As the deserty nothingness of Death Valley approached, the billboards calmed down until it was just road, and nothingness, and more road.
“But I do think there’s this weird double standard in what you’re not supposed to find sexy being what you secretly really do find sexy,” I continued. “Like, in all those romantic movies and books or whatever, the male characters we’re supposed to fancy are all controlling and possessive, and us girls are all like PHWHOAR.”
Kyle turned the CD down so we could talk better. He looked incredibly sexy driving in the heat: the sleeves of his T-shirt rolled right up, the fact I couldn’t see his face behind his mirrored sunglasses.
“You know what?” Kyle said. “I’ve always thought there’s a reverse sexism thing going on with films like that. Essentially, you can only get away with doing ‘romantic’ but totally-freaky-stalkery gestures for a girl if you’re considered conventionally good-looking. It’s like girls only let you be abusive and strange if you have a six-pack and really good bone structure. I mean, like, I can obviously be as creepy as I like, because I’m so darn good-looking.”
I pulled a face at him. “You are? Oh. Sorry. I totally hadn’t noticed.”
Kyle laughed. “You know what I mean! But, say Bella Swan moved to wherever the hell it is she moved to, and there’s this dude with long greasy hair, acne, glasses and a penchant for wearing those shitty T-shirts with logos on them, you know? Well, imagine he rocked up in her bedroom and started watching her sleep, or staring at her insanely like a maniac during the science lessons. She would call the cops! He’d be considered a scary freak. But, oh no, as long as you’re R-Patz, it’s okay. As long as you have green eyes and a ‘crooked grin’ you can be as creepy as you like. Girls are totally double-standardy. You get all het up if we dare to judge you on appearances. But then you do exactly the same to us.”
“How do you know about Bella Swan?”
He laughed. “I have two sisters!”
I reached out and put my hand on his knee, just because it felt wrong if I wasn’t touching him.
“Other girls may be like that, but you’re talking to the girl who had a crush on the Phantom of the Opera, remember? He’s only got half a face, and I still liked him.”
Kyle brought my hand up to his lips to kiss it.
“And that is why I’m driving you to Las Vegas.”
We passed a sign that said “Welcome to Death Valley” and the landscape changed almost instantly. We really were in total and utter nothingness. The road spun and curved along twisted pathways through rock and nothing, and more nothing, and the occasional extra rock.
“Are we on a different planet?” I craned my neck out the window, just in case I was missing something.
“Eerie, isn’t it? We’re going to get, like, really below sea level soon. Jeez, look at the thermometer.”
The little digits on Kyle’s dashboard told us it was well into the hundreds outside.
“We’re not going to break down, are we?” I asked nervously.
“Let’s hope not.”
As we got into the heart of the park, it got even hotter. Kyle’s car made all these weird noises, just around the time signs everywhere told us to turn off the air con.
“This is what I warned you about,” Kyle said. “You ready to strip to your bra?”
“I am not stripping to my bra.”
But, as we turned the air con off to preserve the engine, I really did feel like it.
We turned the radio off too, to give the jeep its best chance at making it. We rode in silence, both of us too hot to chat. Sweat dripped from every part of me. I was sweating in places I didn’t even know I had sweat glands, like my knee pits, and behind my ears. And, still, we drove through nothingness. It seemed utterly unimaginable that something as exciting and alive as Las Vegas was at the end of the road. The road seemed like it could spread out for ever – that your car would run out of gas and you’d just perish there, with no one passing to find you.
Eventually though, Kyle’s car became more spritely and we put on the air con and the stereo again. He insisted I gave The Mars Volta a go, and I sat there, in bewilderment, as all this weird stuff blared out of his speakers.
According to the signs, we were out of Death Valley now and Vegas was coming up, which was a reassurance as we drove in a single line into the empty desert.
“What the heck is this music?” I demanded.
“Do you not like it?”
“I am not one of those girls who pretends to like music that the boy she likes likes.”
“This is incredible stuff. Each song is like a story!”
“A really naff story.”
The bickering continued as we drove into the horizon. I was just starting to think Vegas was a figment of everyone’s imagination when there – shimmering in the distance – I saw it. Skyscrapers and towers and signs of life.
“We’re almost in Vegas, baby.” Kyle pushed his sunglasses up his nose.
“Before we get there, you have to promise that was the one and only time you use the word ‘baby’ after the words ‘Las Vegas’?”
He smiled. “Whatever you say, baby.”
“In fact, let’s just ban the word ‘baby’ in general.”
“You can’t ban anything, BABY. We’re in Vegas now. There ain’t nothing banned in The Vegas.”
“You’re not allowed to call it The Vegas either.”
SITUATIONS THAT ARE DESTINED TO FAIL:
Taking things slow
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A luxury hotel room
Thirty-four
The shimmering strip drew closer and I pressed my nose against the window to get a better view. My heart pounded with excitement. I mean, come on, Vegas! The Vegas! How had this summer led me here? I turned off Kyle’s weirdo music and began singing “Viva Las Vegas” in my very best Elvis voice. When that was exhausted I switched to “Uptown Funk” which has nothing to do with Vegas, but seemed to fit appropriately.
After being the only car for so many hundreds of miles, we were now one of thousands, and slammed into an epic traffic jam.
“Kyle –” I pointed out the window as we waited for a never-changing red light – “why is there a massive naked lady outside my window?”
Kyle rolled his eyes. “Welcome to Vegas.”
We were next to a gigantic travelling billboard of a completely naked woman with her legs spread, sucking her finger suggestively as her massive eyes stared blankly into the traffic. She was advertising Hot Girlz Direct 2U.
“This is never in the movies,” I said, as the billboard turned left and another naked billboard pulled up alongside us.
“It is called Sin City.”
“Is there more stuff like this in Vegas?”
Kyle took my hand and kissed it. “Oh, Amber, you have no idea what’s coming for you.”
We inched through traffic light after traffic light. I counted another ten naked l
ady billboards. And an entire hotel called Hooters, where Kyle informed me all the female staff had to have massive boobs.
“I’m starting to worry Las Vegas is just a place where the patriarchy took a massive dump in the desert,” I said.
“Or just humanity.”
“Why did you bring me here?”
Kyle smiled. “Because we’re going to have fun.”
We made it through to the main strip. It was so surreal, seeing all the hotels I’d seen so many times on TV in real life. We passed New York New York and Excalibur – this neon garish fairy-tale castle. We passed The Mirage, which Kyle informed me had a resident white tiger who lived there.
“What? Just padding along the corridors?”
“I don’t think so, I think he’s in a cage. But I wouldn’t be surprised. This is The Vegas after all.”
“I warned you not to call it that.”
“And how are you going to punish me?”
He grinned, and it was there again. The insane sexual tension, quivering between us, taking off all its clothes.
“How long till we get to our hotel room?” I replied.
Kyle’s face went serious, in this really intense sexy way that made me want to jump over the car and just start grappling him right then.
“Not soon enough.”
Two more traffic lights and Kyle steered us left, right into Caesar’s Palace. It was very tall. In fact, it was so tall, I wanted to stand next to it for the rest of my natural life, so I’d never feel tall again. Kyle pulled up in this huge circular driveway, before stopping in front of two men dressed in strange little outfits.
“Here we are,” he said. “It’s valet service, so we need to get our stuff out the car.”
I nodded. “Right. What’s a valet?”
He laughed and opened the door, saying hi to the weird outfit guys.
“It means they park the jeep for us.”
“Oh.”
I picked my bag off my feet and opened the passenger door. I was hit by the most intense heat of my life. My skin instantly broke out into a sweat; the air was so dry I wanted a drink. Like, straight away.
“It’s so HOT,” I announced. Kyle was at the boot, helping the guys take out our suitcases.
“It’s Vegas.”