Bonds of Attraction (Full Length Erotic Romance Novel)

by Alana Davis

My hands fought against me as I searched my purse for my keys. The fingers attached to my hands were no longer mine, gone to the stress that now held power over my entire body. My defiant fingers finally found the keys and managed to lock onto them, pulling them out of my purse with such clumsy force that my wallet and lipstick flew out with it. I dropped to my knees and picked them up, another flood of tears pouring out of me. I knelt there for a full minute, crying.

  Anger began to boil through the tears and they began to feel like acid against my face. My hands that had been shaking from shock now shook with rage. I clenched two fists and rose from my knees. I ran my fingers through my hair and wiped the salty tears from my face. I reached delicately into my purse and pulled out a tissue and blew my nose. I breathed in deeply and clicked the button to open my car door.

  I opened the door and looked over to Leon’s car, still parked next to mine. I pushed away any thought of what he was doing right at that moment and continued to stare at his car with a growing disgust. The impulse to run my keys against the finish and slash the tires made me feel alive with revenge for a full minute. In the end, I sat down in the driver’s seat of my car and let the feeling pass. I would not give Leon the satisfaction of knowing he had bothered me enough for me to act like a vengeful child.

  I sat in my own car, a numb feeling washing over me. I didn’t start the car; the keys weren’t even in the ignition. I just sat, composing myself as the sun climbed higher in the sky.

  How long had I been in the parking lot of Leon Christensen’s office? I didn’t know. I only knew that I had to get out of here; the sight of his office in front of me brought up a feeling of revulsion that struck at my stomach, tying it into a painful knot of nausea.

  “It was nothing,” I said to no one. “Nothing.”

  I put the keys in the ignition and turned them to start the car. For a panicked moment I was positive that the car wasn’t going to start and I was going to be stuck in the parking lot, forced to call for a tow truck and wait until he came to save me. The hours would pass and of course other employees would arrive. Leon would have to bring down the girl he had savaged in front of me and bring her home eventually. We’d lock eyes and maybe he’d try to invite me back to her place with him. Maybe he’d say nothing. I wasn’t sure what would be worse.

  “Stop it,” I said.

  Leon’s abs flexed as he pushed in and out of the woman before him, bent over and moaning with pleasure. I couldn’t remember her name or even what her face looked like outside of an abstract representation of pleasure itself. Beads of sweat formed on her perfect skin as she let Leon take her in every way, not objecting as he pushed painfully inside of her. I could see his eyes, dead of emotion and colorless, two black holes of color that sucked all light into them. His muscles pulsed with the oncoming storm of his orgasm, pushing inside of the girl with no name’s ass while she bit down her lip.

  I shook off the image and rubbed my eyes. A voice on the radio began its morning recounting of the previous day’s news and suddenly I was aware of the small vibration of the idling engine. I let out a sigh of relief and for the first time since I barged in on Leon fucking another woman before me with vitriolic coldness in his eyes, I laughed. I laughed at my own foolishness and false panic over the car.

  I drove the car away from the office building and rather than feeling relieved, sadness wrapped itself around my chest and squeezed. Gravity itself grew heavy and it was difficult to move. The radio began to grow quieter and quieter as I drove on, lost in my own thoughts.

  I looked up and realized just how far I was way from Leon’s office. I had not been paying any attention to where I was going. My mind would simply not focus on driving. The realization that this was probably more dangerous than driving drunk cut through the static of my thoughts and I pulled off an exit. Sitting in my car, I searched the internet with my phone for a commuter lot and found one only a mile away.

  I dialed in the number for a cab in my phone and listened to it ring before a voice cut through and startled me, making me almost drop my phone. I lied to the operator that I was having car problems and told him where to send a cab to pick me up. The operator told me it would be fifteen minutes and I thanked him, my voice steady, not revealing just how flustered I really was.

  I pulled into the commuter lot and parked the car. I sat in my car and simply waited for the cab to arrive, not letting any thoughts grow in my mind. I followed my breath and hummed along to songs on the radio that I didn’t even know the words to. After a half hour, the taxi pulled into the commuter parking lot and I grabbed my purse and walked out to greet him.

  “Lucky break,” the driver said through his open window.

  “Excuse me?” I asked. I could not think of a single thing that could be construed as lucky.

  He tossed a cigarette onto the ground. It was definitely illegal to smoke in a cab, but I didn’t protest that he had filled the cab with stale smoke; I was grateful that he had come at all. Smoke billowed out of his nostrils as he spoke.

  “It’s a lucky break to have car problems in a commuter lot,” he said, a wry smile forming under his thick black mustache. His teeth were yellow, but otherwise perfectly straight and full. “Shit deal, no doubt, but still much better than leaving it by the side of the road.”

  I looked back at my car and nodded. “I suppose you’re right about that one.”

  I sat in the back of the taxi and stared out the window, feeling dazed. My eyes had not puffed up from the tears, luckily, but I still felt as though I had been punched in the stomach. The driver listened to the same public radio station that I normally did and so we listened together in silence, making no small chat. When we arrived at my office, I didn’t even remember telling him where to go. Upon seeing my office, I immediately wished that I had told him to take me home instead.

  “Thanks,” I said as I got out. When I looked down for a brief moment to grab my money to pay him, a cigarette appeared in his mouth as if by magic. I handed him the fare plus a hefty tip. He eyed it and looked back at me, nodding. As he pulled out of the office parking lot, I saw a puff of smoke flow out of the window. In that moment, I wanted to flag him down and bum a cigarette. I watched him go and the feeling passed.

  In the office, April was as bright and cheerful as usual. She greeted me. I greeted her back and put on my best smile. April must not have seen the taxi drop me off because she made no mention of the taxi or the fact that my car wasn’t parked in its usual spot. She didn’t even question me as to why I was so late. When I sat down in my office, all the thoughts that I had been hiding from the entire morning began to creep into my mind again.

  When I had locked eyes with Leon, it was as though his stare was filled with razorblades that dug deep into my chest. The shock had flooded my system and I was unable to process what I was seeing rationally. Yet I had gone there with the intention of fixing a wrong that I had done. I hadn’t gone there to profess my undying love for the guy or anything. It was simply that I had overstepped the boundaries of professional behavior and needed to correct it.

  My night with Leon had been the biggest mistake of all. I had slipped up by letting myself sleep with him. I knew that neither of us would ever be emotionally invested, so what right did I have to feel hurt by him being with another woman? Hell, I had even been the one who had given him the file on the woman I had walked in on him with!

  No, Leon Christensen had been a sexual experience. An intense, satisfying, and incredible experience, but an experience nonetheless. And an experience can never last longer than the moment it is contained in. We both filled a void in that moment. I had wanted him physically, nothing more.

  I thought of Leon’s eyes reflecting the fire. The sadness that had radiated from them into me had been so intense. And when we had been together, it was beyond anything that I had ever felt before. I felt a longing in my chest that I had never known was there. As my mind focused in on that night, a wave of heaviness fell upon me and I wanted to cry all ove
r again.

  It had never been like this with any of the other men I had been with. Even with the few that I had maintained the faintest semblance of a relationship, always based on sex, of course, I had never longed for them. If I had caught them with another woman, it wouldn’t have hurt. This had been a knife to my heart.

  I got up from my desk and tried to compose myself. I looked over at the clock on the wall and realized that I had been in the office for almost two hours. In that time, I had not accomplished a single thing. I had sat at my desk, lost in thought, for the entire time.

  When I opened the closet, the sexy black dress that I kept there stared at me, still wrapped in the plastic cover that the dry cleaners had returned it to me in. The last time I had worn it, I had let a guy take me back to his place in it. He liked the dress so much he asked me to keep it on while we had sex. After he came on the dress, he apologized with a smirk and gave me some cash for the dry cleaning bill. I had taken his money, but truthfully, it had been a huge turn-on.

  Looking at the dress made me feel better. The memory of the last time I wore it only added to the feeling. I looked good in this dress. It was still a little early, but I could treat myself to a nice dinner and then go out dancing. From there, I would let the night take me where it would, although I had a strong feeling it would take me into a stranger’s arms.

  I changed into the dress. The heels that I had on complimented them nicely and they were comfortable enough to be suitable for a long night of walking around and dancing. Studying myself in the mirror, I noticed that my makeup was still flawless, unsullied by the copious amount of tears that had poured down my face earlier. Thank god for high quality cosmetics.

  I threw an overcoat on to avoid explaining myself to April. When I walked out of my office, she looked up brightly and smiled.

  “Heading out?” she asked.

  “Yes, I’ve got some personal things to take care of, so I won’t be back in the office today,” I said. “Whenever you’re done with your work, feel free to head out early as well.”

  “Thank you,” she said warmly. Her face beamed at me and I smiled back. I was starting to feel pretty good already.

  Outside, I called the same taxi company. They once again told me fifteen minutes, and I thanked them. The dress felt tight against my skin. I liked the way that it grabbed hold of my curves and displayed them proudly for the world to fawn over. Tonight, I was going to forget about everything that happened and enjoy myself. Maybe I would be enjoying some company as well.

  The taxi pulled up after less than five minutes. The driver said nothing and didn’t even look at me when I got in the back of his taxi. For a panicked second I couldn’t remember where the commuter lot was, but then I combed my memory and told him the general area. He nodded, indicating that he knew the commuter lot that I spoke of. I breathed out deeply, relaxing against the back of the bench seat.

  It was late in the afternoon now. I paid the driver and gave him a decent tip, although not as large as the earlier one that I gave to my smoking mustached driver, and thanked him. Before I got in my car, I took my overcoat off and tossed it into the back, leaning over to do so. I turned, still bent over, and saw the driver finally looking at me. My breasts were pushed up, a tantalizing amount of cleavage showing. The dress was a few inches above my knee, climbing high when I bent over. I waved to the driver with a friendly, no-fucking-chance-in-hell wave and got in my car.

  I drove to the most expensive restaurant I could think of. When I got there, I realized that I wasn’t even hungry so I kept driving. The thought of sitting alone in the restaurant made me even less hungry. Rather than sit at the bar and get free drinks from well-dressed businessmen and industry guys, I decided that I would work up an appetite first.

  Then I spotted the Nova. Leon’s club. The place that I had first met him, where he insinuated that I ran a prostitution ring. I pulled to the curb in front of the club and got out of my car, taking my time to pull down my hiked up dress. I could feel dozens of hungry eyes scanning every inch of my body and I pretended to take no notice. When the valet walked up to the car, I handed him the keys politely and gave him a tip upfront. He pulled away with my car and the security guard pulled aside the velvet rope, ushering me in before an entire line of people. For a brief moment I tried to recall if I had seen him the first night I had been here and then gave up, unable to remember.

  Inside, bass moved through my body as a steady beat thumped out of the speakers. Lights cut across the dance floor and bodies flowed with the music. I walked up to the bar and ordered a vodka martini, extra dirty. When the bartender returned with my drink, I drank half in one swallow and ordered another. A smile grew on the corner of his mouth with a devilish hue and he winked at me. I smiled back, the warmth of the vodka in my stomach spreading outwards. When the bartender returned with the second martini, I finished the first in another swallow and pushed the empty glass to him.

  I picked up my second martini and began to let my hips move back and forth with the music. It was dark and crowded in the club. The heat in my body grew with every movement of my hips and it felt wonderful. Soon, I was lost among the crowd, no longer knowing where the exit was and not caring anyway. Every thought of the tumult of the past few days evaporated off of me like steam and I was fully absorbed in the moment. As I bumped and swayed through the crowd, I spilt just as much martini as I was able to drink. The alcohol enveloped me, filling me with giddy laughter drowned out by the music. I closed my eyes and danced.

  When I opened my eyes, I caught a man looking at me from across the dance floor. He flowed through the crowd, sweat glistening across his forehead. His shirt was unbuttoned down to the middle of his chest and I could see that he was muscular, although in a much bulkier way then Leon. When I thought of the comparison, I immediately scolded myself for even comparing him to Leon in the first place. Brushing off the thought, I rocked my shoulders back and forth, moving myself towards the man eyeing me from across the room.

  He continued to dance, looking away from me and falling back into the hypnotic trance of the music. As I eyed him, I caught him looking back at me and we both smiled. Soon, we were only inches apart, dancing in front of one another. The distance between our bodies grew smaller and smaller as the beat of the music got faster and faster. Sweat formed against my skin, sucking my dress against me tighter. I moved my leg against his outer thigh and pulled it back quickly, coyly. He lifted his hand with a drink that was near finished and poured the last remnants of the clear liquor down his throat. I watched him drink with a growing desire to reach out and fasten my lips around his neck.

  The air boiled as we moved around each other, the gap of inches closing into centimeters. I lifted my arms and they hovered against his chest, so close to touching. His hands floated to my sides and right when I was sure they were going to grab my ass, when I wanted them to grab me so badly, the music cut off abruptly.

  The dancers petered out and collected themselves. The man before me shook his drink as if to try to see if any liquor was hiding under an ice cube. When he concluded his drink was completely dry, he looked at me and smiled.

  “Tom,” he said, extending his hand.

  “Lauren,” I lied, laughing as I shook his firm hand. He smiled wide and leaned in closer.

  “You look like you need a refill. Come on, my treat,” Tom said, motioning towards the bar. I nodded quickly as the music started again. I followed him closely, my hand on his shoulder as we moved through the packed crowd. At the bar, he raised two fingers and the bartender quickly hurried over. He leaned in and told the bartender something I couldn’t hear over the music, his drink order, no doubt, and I pointed at my empty martini glass and the bartender nodded.

  Leaning against the bar, we chatted. Everything that Tom said was unintelligible over the music, but I somehow found words to respond with. He nodded and smiled at all the right points and even laughed a few times. At that point we were simply communicating with gestures. While we ha
d first met on the floor dancing, the real dance was taking place now.

  I looked away from Tom, laughing flirtatiously at something that I hadn’t even heard when I spotted Stills across the room. He was holding a drink and talking with another man who was overdressed in a tuxedo. His hair was slicked back and perfectly cut. He drank a martini and was nodding at something Stills was saying when his eyes fell upon me. He looked me up and down and I felt a slight chill at the sight of it. Even from across the room, I could see that the man in the tuxedo was eyeing every woman in the bar, not paying attention to anything Stills said. I noticed a dark stain on the tuxedo that that man kept trying to rub off.

  I studied the two of them talking, hoping that Stills would notice me. Tom was saying something about mergers or hoarders, I couldn’t make it out, and I placed my hand on his shoulder before letting it slide off slowly. His shirt was slightly wet with sweat and it felt sensuous to the touch. My eyes would briefly glance back over to Tom before returning to Stills. When Stills spotted me, a brief look of surprise flashed across his face, I felt a surge of triumph and turned back to Tom.

  I grabbed him fiercely, cutting him off mid-sentence. I pulled him to me and kissed him hard on his lips. I hungrily worked my tongue in his mouth and thrust my hips against him. His arms wrapped around me quickly and I sucked on his tongue. I felt myself grow wet, his hands now grabbing my ass. I flexed against his touch and his cock grew hard, pressing against my thigh.