Pinch me, I'm dreaming...

by Maggi Gibson

  I look round the faces of my friends, glowing in the dancing light of the fire. Cordelia, licking at a melted marshmallow. Taslima smiling secretively. Twig watching me closely through his fall of hair. Pip, half-asleep in the heat of the flames.

  ‘Maybe not right here,’ Taslima corrects Cordelia. ‘But not very far away.’

  ‘Mum?’ I exclaim, and everyone laughs, shaking their heads.

  Just then Megan comes out of the yurt, holding up her camera. ‘Found it at last!’ Cordelia and Taslima exchange a look.

  And that’s when the penny drops. ‘It was you!’ I gasp.

  Megan looks at me quizzically. ‘Me what?’

  ‘You made the video and put it online!’ I exclaim.

  Even in the darkness I can see Megan’s colour rise. ‘I thought that was a secret!’ she says angrily to Twig.

  ‘I didn’t say anything,’ Twig shrugs. ‘Anyway I think Sassy should know. It was a really cool thing to do.’

  ‘But why didn’t you tell me?’ I ask.

  ‘Look.’ Megan hangs her head as if suddenly embarrassed. ‘Remember like… you know… that thing I did in P7?’

  ‘But that was yonks ago. You were having a tough time at home. We settled all that,’ I say, even though I know I’m not being totally honest.

  ‘Well, I still felt like I hadn’t done enough,’ says Megan. ‘Like my conscience wasn’t quite clear or something?’

  I stare into the flames. Truth is, deep down that’s what I’d felt, but I guess I hadn’t wanted to admit it, even to myself.

  ‘Anyway,’ Megan continues, ‘I brought Twig’s dad’s camcorder, you know the little one that fits in your hand, back to the Bluebell Wood that time, just in case something interesting happened. And later, when I watched the recording, I thought the bit with you singing was awesome, so I put it online.’

  ‘But something I still don’t understand,’ I say, confused. ‘Why didn’t you want me to know?’

  ‘Look, I really wanted to be your friend again – but I didn’t want you to think I was trying to, you know, buy your friendship, like by doing things for you.’ She sighs deeply. ‘I just wanted you to like me for being me.’

  I look at Megan with fresh eyes. It takes guts to say that kind of thing in front of everyone. And I know, at last, that I can trust her. That we can be friends again.

  ‘But I do like you. And you are my friend.’ I wrap my arms round her and give her a great big hug.

  ‘Really?’ Megan asks, her voice wobbly with uncertainty.

  ‘OK, sometimes things you do bug me,’ I joke. ‘But I guess I can be pretty annoying too!’

  ‘I can vouch for that,’ Mum mutters as she wanders past. ‘In fact, Sassy, I’m just going to pop over to Kris’s yurt for a nightcap. I know what you told that poor man. I am NOT on medication!’

  Cordelia starts to giggle. As if it’s infectious, Megan and me start up too. Twig sticks another marshmallow in the fire, rolls his eyes and says, ‘What is it with girls and giggling?’

  Taslima opens her mouth like she’s going to give him a rational explanation, but Megan looks at her and that’s it, she’s off. And it feels SO good, to be giggling round a campfire with my three bezzies and my boyfriend, roasting marshmallows!

  Life doesn’t get any better than this, does it?

  Soon Megan, Cordelia, Taslima and me are all snuggled up in our sleeping bags in the yurt. Pip’s already disappeared off to the Land of Nod, happily clutching her autograph book. Phoenix wrote a really special message to her in gold ink and she’s thrilled to bits. She says she plans to marry him – when she’s a bit older, of course.

  ‘I’ve been thinking about something,’ I say into the silence.

  ‘What’s that?’ Cordelia yawns.

  ‘About triangles and friends and things. I was thinking, maybe a triangle’s not the best shape for a friendship. But a rectangle’s not right either. That just sounds silly.’

  Taslima turns over and props herself up on one elbow. ‘I’ve been thinking about that too. Friendships don’t come in triangles or rectangles,’ she says. ‘They come in circles.’

  ‘Of course,’ I sigh into the darkness. ‘A circle’s a good shape. A friendship circle.’

  ‘Then it doesn’t matter how many friends are in it,’ Taslima explains in her soft voice. ‘Three, four or five. All that matters is that it remains unbroken.’

  ‘So am I in the circle now?’ Megan says quietly.

  ‘Course you are,’ Cordelia says sleepily.

  ‘You have been for ages,’ Taslima adds.

  ‘Yeah,’ I smile. ‘It just took me a while to realize…’

  The yurt falls quiet.

  Strands of music float across on the still night air from the main stage. I wonder if Phoenix is back in his trailer on the cliffs now, sitting out on his deck, all alone, staring across the ink-black sea, quietly strumming his guitar.

  Then I think about all my friends – my friendship circle – surrounding me. I always want to be in the circle. And I want to be a star too. I guess I’m just going to have to work extra hard so I can do both…

  I yawn and turn over and pull my sleeping bag up around my ears. Slowly, happily, I drift into sleep.

  Back home at last!

  To chaos. When Pip discovers Houdini escaped just after we left – and that he’s still missing – she goes into meltdown. Dad is grovellingly apologetic.

  ‘I locked his cage door like you showed me, Pip,’ he sighs, running his fingers through his hair, which I’m sure has got tons more grey in it all of a sudden. ‘I don’t know how he did it, but next time I went to feed him the door was wide open and he was gone.’

  ‘We’ve looked everywhere,’ Digby, Dad’s assistant backs him up. ‘And we’ve left little dishes of food out so he won’t go hungry. But we’ve just not managed to catch him.’

  ‘We do know that he’s fine, though,’ Dad insists. ‘The food has been disappearing.’

  Pip is inconsolable. ‘We’ve only been away for two days,’ she wails. ‘How could you have lost him?’

  ‘Calm down, Pip,’ I say, suddenly inspired. ‘I know who can find him!’

  Five minutes later Twig arrives at the door. ‘Thank goodness you’re here,’ Pip says dramatically as she shows him in. ‘Houdini’s been missing FOR TWO WHOLE DAYS!’

  ‘I’m sure he’ll be fine,’ Twig reassures her. ‘Show me where his cage is, and we’ll take it from there. OK?’

  Pip leads Twig upstairs and shows him the empty cage. Then he goes into my room, and I’m thinking oh no, here we go again as he gets down on his hands and knees and looks under my bed.

  Seconds later he sits up empty-handed.

  Pip is rabbitting on about how Dad can’t be trusted with anything when Twig clamps a hand over her mouth to shush her.

  She stops mid-sentence. The room falls silent.

  ‘Listen!’ Twig urges.

  And that’s when I hear it. A tiny squeak. Followed by another, then several squeaks together.

  ‘I don’t understand,’ I whisper. ‘Is that Houdini?’

  More squeaks come from under my bed. Pip gets down on her hands and knees and peeks under. Moments later she stands up, beaming.

  ‘I’m a granny!’ she squeals excitedly, just as Mum pokes her head round the door.

  ‘A granny?’ Mum asks, alarmed.

  ‘Houdini’s had babies!’ Pip explains happily. ‘Break open the champagne!’

  ‘But Houdini’s a BOY hamster,’ Mum protests. ‘We specifically asked the pet shop for a boy. BOYS can’t have babies!’

  ‘You’ll need to call him Mrs Houdini now,’ Twig laughs.

  ‘She must have been pregnant when we got her,’ Pip says. ‘No wonder she was putting on weight!’

  Mum shakes her head. ‘I don’t know, I leave your dad alone for two days… The hamster escapes, has a sex change, gets pregnant and gives birth. Thank goodness we took Brewster with us. Who knows what might have happened!’r />
  At last Mum goes downstairs and Pip goes off to her room with Houdini and all his… er… her … babies. Twig flumps down on to my beanbag and looks at me in that quiet way that always makes me both thrilled and uncomfortable at once.

  I pick up my guitar and strum it a few times, hoping he doesn’t notice how nervous I feel.

  ‘That song you sang at the festival,’ Twig says slowly.

  ‘Which song?’ I ask, though I’m pretty sure I know which one he means.

  ‘“Pinch Me, I Must Be Dreaming”?’

  ‘Yeah?’ I say, strumming the guitar gently.

  ‘It’s really good,’ Twig says.

  ‘Thanks,’ I smile as I play the opening chords. ‘I wrote it for someone pretty special. Would you like to hear it?’

  Twig shakes his head and my hand stops mid-strum.

  ‘Maybe later,’ he smiles. ‘But first I was wondering…’

  My heart leaps into my throat. It seems so long since I made that wish on the first star.

  ‘I was wondering…’ Twig repeats. ‘… do you have a computer?’

  I chuck Little Ted at him and he chucks a cushion at me, and then we’re in a full-on pillow fight and Pip is shouting at us to keep quiet we’re waking the babies and downstairs the phone is ringing and Twig’s face is inches from mine, and then he kisses me and inside I’m singing, Pinch me, I think I must be dreaming!

  LAST TRACK

  You want to put barbed wire around my heart

  You want to package me

  To make me play a part

  But I don’t want to do those things for you.

  So don’t try to market me

  Don’t try to buy me out

  Don’t try to bribe me

  With wealth and hollow dreams.

  Cos I know what I will and will not do

  I know what’s right – I know what’s true

  I know that in this world

  All’s not always as it seems.

  By Sassy Wilde

  1 I did say he was a Dwarf Hamster, didn’t I? 28A to be precise…

  2 Vegetarian’s nightmare.

  3 Taslima says: if there’s air in the head is it actually empty?

  4 In fact, Cordelia simply writes about her life at home. Miss Peabody just THINKS Cordelia makes it all up! I mean, how many people really have a pet bat and a mum who’s a witch?

  5 I voted for Midge Murphy. A sympathy vote, really. No one else was going to.

  6 Special & super & beautiful & gorgeous.

  7 Let’s just say it’s like a cross between an elephant with a cold and a constipated crocodile.

  8 Mr Bump, if you must know.

  9 I wish I knew who did it. I must ask Cordelia if she’s got any hunches.

  10 Yet!

  11 Without the teeth.

  12 I’m not sure I want to live till I’m THAT old. I mean, what is the point! Great-Gran is the best ad for dying young I could think of.

  13 Which I did when I was five. And, incidentally, I have since discovered it DOES have alcohol in it!

  14 Well, not literally, obviously.

  15 Since the trip to Great-Gran’s Mum insists on keeping a beady eye on her.

  16 And Great-Gran thinks she’s got problems! She should try being an elderly dog for a while.

  17 In TWO suitcases! For ONE weekend.

  18 A toilet-roll shortage at the Old Folks’ Home, a pig on the run in the town centre and a missing bike at the police station.

  19 Only the coolest drink in the universe! Fresh-fruit smoothie in recyclable bottles!

  20 Oh no! There I go again. Words of one syllable! He’ll think I’m a moron.

  21 A firelighter and twenty matches.

  22 Like a plague of spiders in her undies drawer.