Blindsided

by Natalie Whipple

  “No.” But I hoped. I walk quickly to catch up with the group.

  Allie opens a door with the number twelve painted on it. “This will be your room during testing, Fiona. Since the equipment is still being unloaded, you’ll have to wait here until then.”

  “Okay.” I walk forward as confidently as I can, but then stop at the door. “Um, Allie?”

  “Yes?”

  “Would it be okay if I could wait until my mom and Miles get here? I don’t want them to miss it. You know, if it happens.”

  Allie purses her lips, seeming reluctant. “We really need to start all the testing at the same time, but hopefully we’ll have word from them before that. Don’t worry too much—I’ve projected that at this stage of development, the cure, if it works, should last several days.”

  “Oh.” My heart soars at the thought. I didn’t dare hope it would last that long. “Okay then.”

  I head into the room, which is sparse to say the least. There is only a bed and a chair, plus a small nightstand stacked with medical stuff. The wall to the right is a mirror, ceiling to floor. I worry it’s one of those observation windows where you can see through on the other side, but I’m still glad for it. I want to see everything I can if this works.

  As I sit on the bed, Seth, Brady, and The Pack come in. Their expressions vary from Hector’s mildly concerned to Seth’s angry to Carlos’ scared.

  Seth takes the one chair, and they all sit on the floor like this is some weird story time. I figure I do owe them an explanation, but so much has happened that I’m not even sure where to begin.

  “So, first question.” To my surprise, it’s Brady who starts. He knows the most of everyone, and yet he looks seriously upset. “Why didn’t you tell me we could volunteer to take the drug?”

  Seth explodes from his chair. “You are not taking it! Do you hear me? This is an illegal experiment on human specimens. Am I the only one who sees how insane that is?”

  “Jeez, so I need your parental consent now?” Brady glares at his brother, then turns to me. “Is this why you guys have been fighting more than usual?”

  I look at my bracelets. “Yes.”

  “What if you die?” Bea’s voice is shaky. “Look at this place, Fiona. This isn’t a hospital—it’s barely a bunker.”

  “Hospitals haven’t given me much when it comes to answers about myself. I could find them here.” I sigh, feeling like I’m about to get ganged up on. It was bad enough when it was just Seth who knew I’d be part of the experiments.

  “Or you could get seriously messed up,” Hector says.

  “You’re letting them turn you into a lab rat,” Carlos says.

  “If you haven’t noticed, everyone’s messed up.” I fold my arms, wishing I could kick them out. I don’t need this lecture again. “I’m not ignoring the risks. I know I could die; I know it could do permanent damage; I know it might not work at all. But what you guys don’t understand is that it’s worth it to me. What I could get in return—being visible—it means everything to me. If that makes me a lab rat, then so be it.”

  This clearly doesn’t register for anyone but Brady, who is nodding while everyone else shakes their head. “I get it, Fi. I’d volunteer right now.”

  Seth points his finger at his brother. “Don’t you dare. If you care about me at all, Brady, you won’t make me deal with that on top of possibly losing the only girl I’ve ever cared about.”

  I shrink at the words. The guilt is heavy—it gets heavier every day—but as much as I care about Seth, I can’t sacrifice this chance for him.

  Brady shakes his head. “You guys don’t understand how life-changing this could be for me or Fiona, do you?”

  “Please don’t,” Bea says quietly as she leans on Brady’s arm. “Just…please. I’d rather deal with your ability our whole lives than lose you.”

  This seems to suck the words right out of Brady, but Seth fills the silence. “Ditto. You guys forget we like you just the way you are. We can deal with the hard parts just fine.”

  I glare at Seth, wanting so badly to say he doesn’t have to deal with my invisibility at all—I’m the one who still can’t see herself, who has to deal with it every time I look in a mirror. It’s so unfair for him to even use that argument. “Well, I’m tired. If you don’t mind I’d like to sleep before I become a lab rat. And when this works I’ll use it to stop The Phantom and anyone else who threatens you. Then you can thank me for taking the hit.”

  I grab the blankets and cover myself in them. They’re stiff and smell like bleach. I wait for someone to say something back, but instead I hear the door open and footsteps as they leave. When it slams behind them, I pull the blankets down, expecting to be alone.

  But Seth is still there.

  “They just care about you,” he says.

  “I know.” I wish I could make it better. I know I’m being selfish. But I can’t stop myself. “Thanks for staying.”

  “This could be the last time I see you alive. I have to stay.” His eyes water, but he stops it before he cries. “You better live. Or I’ll never forgive you.”

  “I will.” I say it for him, though we both know very well that once I take this drug, I won’t have any say in the outcome.

  Chapter 37

  A couple hours pass before anyone comes. There’s no word on my family—my phone seems to be useless down here as well, which makes me worry the mic on my glasses doesn’t work either. I’m not sure where The Pack has gone, but I’m almost relieved they’re not here to see what might happen to me. If it does work, I want to be the first one to see myself. If it doesn’t…well, it’ll only hurt them more.

  Allie comes in with a nurse at her side, her smile tentative as she hands me a clipboard. “Fiona, I’m sorry we haven’t heard from your family yet, but we’ve waited as long as we can under the circumstances. We need to move forward with the testing. If you could fill out the information you know, that’d be great. After that your nurse will take what vitals she can from you.”

  “Okay.” I look over the first page of the form, though I feel sick knowing my mom and Miles aren’t here for this. They were so excited when they heard about it over the mic. I could use their support about now.

  As I start filling out my medical information, the door opens again. I hope it’s The Pack at least, but it’s Major Norton. “Allie, you and the nurse can prep the other patients while I talk with them.”

  Allie looks like she wants to protest, but she does as she’s told. Major Norton waits a few moments before he speaks again. “I wanted to thank you for your information on The Phantom—I’m sure you went to a lot of risk to get it. Honestly, I owe you for that, so I’ll tell you about the factory.”

  Seth perks up a little. “Really?”

  The Major nods. “It’s quite simple, really, but I would like to keep my connections to this factory top secret, do you understand? I don’t want my superiors to pull me off this due to conflict of interest.”

  Seth raises an eyebrow. “Sure. I just want to know if my family had anything to do with this place.”

  “Your great grandfather did.” The Major puts his hand into his crisp jacket and pulls out a picture. Seth and I crowd around the photo—it’s an old black and white image of five men standing in front of a building I assume is the old Radiasure factory. Even I can see the family resemblance between Seth and the guy on the far right. “Greg Mitchell was the head contractor.”

  Seth sits back, and I think I see horror in his eyes. “So part of this is my family’s fault?”

  “I don’t know what to tell you.” Major Norton points to the guy in the middle wearing a white coat much like Allie’s. “My grandfather, Patrick Norton, was one of the scientists who created Radiasure, so I’m not one to say you shouldn’t feel guilty. It’s the whole reason I’m here.”

  It takes me a minute to realize my jaw’s dropped. When I put myself together, I manage to say, “When did you find out? I thought all that was buried by the go
vernment. You know, to protect them from being hunted down.”

  “I found out about five years ago, when I was promoted to Major. I’d always believed that destroying the remaining Radiasure stores would help bring the world back into order, so I went digging for information. It was difficult, but I figured it out thanks to my ability and asking the right people the right questions.” He sighs, and there’s a weight to it I never noticed before. “Eventually, I was able to track down the creators, but I never expected to be related to one of them. I always knew my grandfather lived in a remote part of China, though I would have never guessed why.”

  I put my hand to my mouth. China? My dad’s plans to get the real formula. The guy they murdered. “They finally found him.”

  Major Norton nods. “Before I could get there.”

  “He still had the papers?” Seth seems angry. “Why didn’t he destroy them?”

  “I don’t have details; I just know he’s dead and the formula is out there. They could have had a mind-reader or a brainwasher on the job for all I know.” The Major pauses, as if he needs a second to compose himself. I can’t stop thinking about the brainwasher Dad had me and mom kidnap from Val Sutton—was that why? She would have been able to persuade him to tell. “The point is, I had to act fast if I wanted to stop the syndicates from making the drug again.”

  “So you’re here to make up for what your family did?” I ask.

  “I don’t think anyone can make up for what Radiasure has done to the world,” the Major replies. “But I still want to right as many wrongs as I can. That’s why I found Allie and the factory plans from Mitchell Construction and an endless list of rumored Radiasure caches. I think once we have a cure—once people see that there’s a way to make the world different—things will change.”

  Seth and I remain silent. I can’t tell how my boyfriend feels about the information, but I have to admit it totally alters my opinion of Major Norton. While I’m not happy with how he’s treated me in the past, it makes more sense now. My dad killed his grandfather. Of course I’d be a huge suspect.

  “One question,” Seth says. “How’d you get the factory plans?”

  This seems to surprise the Major. “I bought them from your father a few years ago. The military could have copies somewhere, but I don’t have the clear—”

  “So he knows about this place, the layout, everything. He’s always known,” Seth says flatly. “Well, shit.”

  “Shit?”

  I wince, realizing just how bad this could be for us. “Seth’s dad has been working for Juan, as far as we can tell.”

  Major Norton lets out a string of cuss words as he heads for the door. “I’m sorry I have to leave like this, but this is a serious security issue. Can’t trust anyone these days to…”

  His voice trails off as he leaves, and then the door slams shut. It’s so quiet I wonder if these rooms are soundproof—I can’t hear any workers, now that I think about it.

  “I guess he’s not so bad after all,” I say.

  Seth rolls his eyes. “I bet his grandfather had good intentions when he created Radiasure, too. Sounds like the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

  Then what does that say about you? I want to say that so bad, but I bite my tongue and continue filling out my forms. I’m tired of fighting with him. Especially now that it’s pretty much the same argument over and over. All I want is for him to hold me and tell me he still cares in spite of everything.

  Allie comes in with the nurse again, who takes my blood pressure and temperature and weight. After that it gets more difficult because they want a blood sample. The nurse runs her fingers over my arm, her lips pursed. She looks to Allie. “I don’t think I can do this. Even if I find the vein, I won’t know when the vial is filled.”

  Allie frowns. “What if we do a finger prick?”

  “How will we know how much we have without contaminating the sample?”

  “Fine, I guess we’ll have to be satisfied with this.” Allie looks to me, feigning a smile. “Maybe after today you won’t have this problem again.”

  “Weird.” I can’t keep the grin from spreading across my face.

  “Have you finished the forms?”

  “Yup.” I hand them to her.

  Allie pulls a small bottle from her pocket, opens it, and taps one glowing red pill into her palm. I stare at it, this whole thing becoming frighteningly real as she holds it out for me. It’s so tiny, seemingly harmless, but it makes my heart race. “Alright, this is it. You’re the last one to take it—we’ll be observing you over the next several days to see if it has any effect. Please be as detailed as possible in telling us how you feel after taking it.”

  “Okay.” I take the pill from her, and the nurse hands me a glass of water.

  “Fiona.” Seth’s voice cracks on my name, and when my eyes meet his I can tell how scared he is. “Are you sure you have to do this?”

  I look at the cure in my hand. Seth can see I’m holding it, but to me all I see is the red, glowing pill hovering in the air.

  It’s all I can see.

  Maybe I’ll lose everything because I want to see more than that, but the answer is still the same and it puts me at ease. “I’m sure.”

  I pop the pill in my mouth, take a swig of water, and swallow.

  Chapter 38

  Twenty minutes later, and I still don’t feel anything. Worse than that, I don’t see anything. I keep staring at the mirror, hoping that I’ll be more than a teal dress and white capri leggings. Maybe I’ll fade in like a ghost becoming solid. Or will it happen all at once? It would be weird if my insides showed up before my skin…

  Oh hell, I don’t care how it happens so long as it does.

  “Doesn’t look like it’s doing anything,” Seth says, and I swear he sounds happy about it.

  “Shut up.”

  He smirks. “If you stare any harder that mirror might break.”

  I set my glare on him instead. “Don’t talk like that—what if they can hear you?”

  “There’s no one on the other side. No bugs.” He shrugs. “Besides, what does it matter anymore? If everyone can see you, I won’t have to be worried about pretending I can’t. That’d be nice. We could just be normal and utterly boring and not special. That’s what you want, right?”

  His voice has an edge to it that makes it clear he hates everything about this. Something clicks. “Wait. Are you…mad that I want other people to see me and not just you?”

  No answer. But I don’t need one because that says it all.

  “Do you know how incredibly possessive that sounds?” I stand up, suddenly too frustrated to be still. “It must be so easy to have an invisible girlfriend. No one will steal me away. No one can tell me I’m pretty but you. I have to rely on you completely to know what I look like!”

  He folds his arms. “That is not what I meant—I was trying to say I like that you’re special, and I just wish you could accept it instead of trying to change yourself. You’re perfect just how you are.”

  “I’m not trying to change anything! I’m just trying to see myself. This isn’t plastic surgery.”

  “It’s much more dangerous.” He looks away, and it feels like he’s holding back. “When you could just trust me. Do you know how insulting it is that you can’t take my word for it when it comes to your appearance?”

  These words sting more than any before them. This is what has really been bothering him all along. “Do you know how insulting it is that just because I want more you think I don’t trust you?” I ask.

  “Why am I not enough?”

  “What?”

  He stands, his chest heaving as he tries to contain his emotions. “Before all this happened, I thought we were…things were good, Fi. It wasn’t perfect, but the second you heard about this drug it was like everything I ever told you didn’t matter anymore. Now you’re acting like I’ve never tried to understand when that’s all I’ve tried to do. Hell, I’m the only person still here!”
/>
  My lips quiver as the truth fills me with shame. He’s right, but I don’t want him to be or to admit he is.

  Seth stares at his feet. “I wish you’d stop pushing me away.”

  “And I wish you’d stop lecturing me! Especially when you’re the one who has it easy in this relationship—it does look normal to you. You don’t have to deal with my invisibility at all! It’s all on me, and then you tell me I should get over it.” I lie on the bed and cover my head with the pillow, embarrassed.

  The bed creaks, and I can tell he’s sat next to me. There’s a long pause before he replies, “Fiona, are you saying you’re jealous that I can see you?”

  “All the time.” Tears spill out against my will. It sounds so ridiculous put in those terms, but it’s true. “It’s not fair.”

  He puts his hand on my hip and gently squeezes. “Why haven’t you ever told me this?”

  “Because it’s stupid. I knew you’d say that, too. I’m supposed to be happy about it, feel lucky, and so often I just wish I was you. Sometimes it’s downright infuriating that you know what I look like naked and I don’t.”

  He lets out a low chuckle, mocking me just like I thought he would. “You’re right. It’s not fair. At all.”

  I freeze, not sure I heard that right. Pulling the pillow from my head, I look at him. His eyes meet mine, and they’re softer than I’ve seen them in weeks. “What?”

  “There’s nothing fair about it.” He lies down next to me, our noses almost touching. “You know what else isn’t fair? That Brady has to be afraid of hurting Bea when all he wants is to hold her. It’s not fair that Hector’s ears hurt constantly, or that Graham never has to go through an airport security line. Also, it’s not fair that your mom can unlock any door she wants, or that my dad can apparently fight like Bruce Lee. Nothing’s fair about life, but would it be any different without mutations?”

  I frown. “It’d at least be a little more even.”

  “Would it?” He pushes my hair behind my ear. “Good people would still be poor. Horrible people would still find power. And it would still be almost impossible to find the right time to tell your crazy girlfriend how much you love her.”