Suddenly a Father

by Michelle Major

  “That’s what you see, not the town.”

  “I don’t want to, but I’m scared as hell that the parts of me that are like him are going to come out and Brooke’s going to pay the price.”

  Logan shook his head. “I wish it wasn’t like that for you. You took the brunt of his anger.”

  “Leaving you, Beth and Josh behind to deal with it when I was gone. I should have done more to make your life a good one. I can do that for my daughter.”

  “So Brooke and Millie are tossed aside while you move on with your life?” Now Logan sounded angry and Jake felt a matching temper flare to life in himself.

  “I didn’t create this situation. I’m just trying to deal with it.”

  “You’re not dealing with it.” Logan pressed on. “You’re running away.” He paused then added, “Like you did when you left Crimson the first time.” He held up a hand before Jake could argue. “I’m not saying I blame you for going to college, for taking your chance. But you never returned, never tried to stay in contact. You can’t forge decent relationships by popping in and out of people’s lives, Jake. It didn’t work with us and it won’t work with your daughter. She needs more.”

  Brooke waved him over and Jake stood, unable to deal with this conversation any longer. “It’s all I have to give, Logan.”

  By the time he had Brooke settled on the swing, his brother was gone.

  Millie did return, true to her word, which should have meant something to him. But it wasn’t the same. She barely made eye contact with him each morning as she arrived at the house. She made breakfast, prepped dinner and took care of Brooke’s needs. She busied herself in the afternoons when Jake was available with preparations for the fall musical or her plans to return to California. Janis and John stepped in to help as he needed it, and he agreed Brooke would return to Atlanta with them.

  A deep ache settled in his chest every time he thought of being separated from Brooke, but Janis tried to convince him that between Skype and phone calls, she and John would make sure he never lost touch with his daughter when he traveled. He’d turned down the job in Crimson and accepted the contract with the agency, wanting to believe he was doing what was best for Brooke.

  He hadn’t mentioned the plans to her yet. Brooke didn’t like Millie staying with Olivia any more than Jake did and had become as clingy and emotional as when he’d first come into her life. He hoped this was just her way of adjusting and scaled back on his shifts at the hospital to spend more time with her.

  Each time he did, his heart broke a little. He loved Brooke, but he wanted to do the right thing. No matter what Millie said, being with Jake wasn’t it. If it was, why was Millie leaving after the musical?

  He’d told her he wanted her to stay with him, that he wouldn’t push her for anything she wasn’t willing to give. But it hadn’t been enough.

  It killed him to be near her when all he wanted was to drag her into his arms. He imagined leaving with her and Brooke, venturing deep into the mountains, far away from family and reality. They could be together without the outside world crashing in making demands. Jake had never dealt well with the outside world—that was why he’d always kept to himself and continued his nomadic medical practice.

  Was he running the way Logan had suggested? He preferred to think of it as keeping himself sane.

  There was certainly no time to reason it all out in Crimson. His brothers and their wives had circled his household like a wagon train. He wasn’t sure what Millie had shared with Olivia, but someone was always stopping by or insisting that Jake and Brooke come for dinner.

  He was happy that his family had clearly made Millie one of their own, which also meant he had more time with her. Even if he had to watch her across a room or laughing from the other end of the table, he still felt her light travel through him. Sometimes he’d catch her watching him and swore her eyes held the same longing he felt. Then it would be gone and she’d look away.

  He didn’t blame her. He was making a mess of everything but couldn’t see how to stop it.

  Two days before the preschool musical, Josh and Logan insisted on a guys’ night out. Since both of them were happily married, Jake didn’t worry that the evening would turn into a late-night drunkfest, but he still arranged for Brooke to spend the night with Janis and John.

  He planned to tell her about his job and the new living arrangements the next morning. He’d put it off as long as he could. He’d come up with all the reasons that this was for the best and how he’d still be a part of her life. Janis and John had agreed to a custody arrangement that would allow Brooke to spend at least a month in the summer and most school holidays with him. He’d explained his new schedule to his boss at the agency. She’d reluctantly agreed, although she was sorry to lose a doctor who’d been willing to travel anywhere in the world with no notice. That wasn’t his life anymore. He was doing his best to make things work for everyone involved.

  He only wished he knew how to keep Millie involved. He hadn’t had a moment alone with her since she’d returned from California. Her sister and friends had seen to that. Jake got the distinct impression that they were protecting her from him but couldn’t understand why.

  After all, Millie had walked away from him.

  Thankfully, neither of his brothers brought it up over their dinner at a local hamburger joint. But when they moved on to beers at the Two Moon Saloon, both Josh and Logan were more than willing to tell him how badly he’d mucked up his life—as if he didn’t already know.

  “I told Sara book smarts don’t translate to real life.” Josh studied Jake over the rim of his beer bottle. “You never did have a lick of common sense.”

  “Shut it,” Jake growled.

  “Olivia’s so mad she could spit,” Logan added. He punched Jake harder than necessary on the shoulder. “I don’t like it when my wife’s upset. You know what I mean?”

  “I know you both need to let it go.” He took a long pull on his beer. “I didn’t come back to Crimson to have you two harping at me.”

  Logan shrugged. “Remind us again—why did you come back? Especially since you’re pulling out so soon.”

  The question threw him. After a few moments he answered, “Because I was scared and overwhelmed. I didn’t know how the hell to be a father, what that meant. My only role model had been Dad. You know how that went.”

  “Bad and worse,” Josh answered.

  “The past can teach you something about what not to do,” Logan agreed.

  “We might not have been close, but you two are the only family I have. It made sense to bring Brooke here. Somehow I knew if I needed help, you’d be there for me.” He saluted the two of them with his beer bottle. “And you have been.”

  “So why are you leaving?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Lame,” Logan mumbled.

  Jake wanted to lay his fist into his baby brother’s face. Before he could argue, his cell phone rang. The display showed John’s number. He imagined Brooke wanted to talk to him before she went to bed. He answered and his heart hit the floor as John spoke.

  “Call the police,” he said, already out of his chair. “I’m on my way.”

  Josh grabbed at his arm. “What’s going on?”

  “I need your help. Both of you.”

  Without hesitation his two brothers stood. Jake would have been touched except for the ball of fear curling in his gut. “It’s Brooke,” he said, his voice shaking. “She’s gone missing.”

  * * *

  Millie stopped at every storefront on the east side of Main Street while Olivia canvassed the other half of the street. Logan had called both Olivia and Millie as he left the bar. Millie hadn’t spoken to Jake but knew he must be terrified.

  Her stomach had been rolling for the past hour. She and Olivia had raced to Janis and Joh
n’s rented condo when they found out Brooke had disappeared.

  Janis, in between sobs, had told them that they’d tucked Brooke in for bed, but when John had gone to check on her thirty minutes later, she’d been gone.

  They turned the house upside down then knocked on each door within a ten-block radius of the house. The police had arrived and started their own search. Neighbors joined in and pretty soon it seemed as if the whole town of Crimson was looking for little Brooke.

  Jake had held himself together as he answered questions about his daughter. Millie had wanted to run to him, to apologize for walking out and offer him whatever comfort she could give. But the one time his eyes met hers, he’d looked right through her as if she was no longer alive to him. She’d forced away her own pain, concentrating all her energy on helping find Brooke.

  Once Millie and Olivia finished talking to business owners and people on the street, they returned to Jake’s house. The makeshift headquarters for the search had been moved there since Janis and John’s place didn’t have much extra room.

  Jake was on his phone when they came into the kitchen. The police had asked him to stay at the house. In case any information came in on the girl, they wanted him to be available.

  “No luck?” Katie Garrity asked. She’d closed down the bakery and brought snacks and coffee to the house to keep people going.

  Millie shook her head and saw Jake glance her way. She took a step toward him then stopped as his phone clattered to the floor. He moved toward her then past her in a whirlwind.

  She turned and saw an older man standing in the doorway to the family room, Brooke sleeping in his arms.

  “I think this belongs to you,” he said to Jake.

  “Brooke.” Millie watched as Jake reached forward to take his daughter from the man. He held her close, his shoulders shaking as tears streaked his cheeks.

  Brooke snuggled sleepily into her father’s chest.

  “Silas Benton,” Olivia said, walking forward. “How did you end up with this child? You didn’t even answer your door when we came by your house.”

  Silas shrugged. “Found her curled up in a chair on my patio a few minutes ago when I took the dog for his evening walk.” He looked at Jake. “I didn’t know there was such a big hullabaloo, but I knew right off she was your kid. She’s got your eyes, same as your daddy’s.” He rubbed a hand over his scratchy chin. “Of course, your dad’s weren’t near so sweet. Always red-rimmed with drink and sharp with temper.” He put a hand on Jake’s arm. “She looks like you, son.”

  “Thank you,” Jake said, his voice hoarse. Millie saw him wipe at his eyes with the back of his hand before Olivia gave him a tissue.

  Again, Millie wanted to go to him but stayed rooted in her place.

  Brooke’s head lifted. “Daddy, you said you wouldn’t leave me.”

  He kissed the tip of her nose. “You’re the one who left, Cookie.” He made a broad sweeping motion with his hand. “Half the town was out looking for you tonight.”

  She glanced over his shoulder to where Janis was seated at the table, silently sobbing. “I heard Nana talking to Papa. They said I was going to live with them. They were making plans for me in Hat-lanta. I don’t want to go, Daddy.” Her voice rose as she clearly became agitated. “I want to stay with you. I want you to stay with me.”

  He gave her a tight hug. “I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. We’re staying in Crimson, Brooke. You’re going to be my girl forever. For as long as you’ll have me. There is nothing more important to me than you. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to realize it.” He turned to Janis and John. “I know you loved your daughter, and I love mine. Stacy asked me to take care of Brooke for a reason. I’m her father, and it’s about time I start acting like it. You’re a part of Brooke’s life and you always will be. But she belongs with me.”

  Janis cried harder but nodded. John gave Jake a thumbs-up and came forward to hug his granddaughter.

  A round of cheers went up, the loudest from Josh and Logan, who had walked in behind Jake. Millie felt tears spill down her cheeks. This was what she’d wanted from the start. This was the man she knew Jake could be, and it broke her heart even more not to be a part of his world.

  Suddenly, the thought of how alone she was settled on her like a heavy burden. As family and friends surrounded Jake, Millie slipped out the back door and walked by herself to Olivia’s house.

  * * *

  They say the show must go on, and the preschool musical was no exception. Millie stood behind the curtain the following night, putting all of the children in their places on the makeshift stage. She gave Brooke an extra hug as she adjusted one of her fox ears.

  “I’m so happy you’re here, Brookie-Cookie.”

  Brooke grinned up at her. “Daddy is, too. We’re going to live in Crimson. Together. Forever. All of—” The girl broke off and clapped her hand over her mouth.

  Millie figured she was worried about breaking Ms. Laura’s request for silence before the show started. “It’s okay, sweetie. I know just how you feel.”

  Brooke gave her a curious look but said nothing more. They listened as Ms. Laura thanked the parent volunteers and introduced the program. She made special mention that they were thrilled to have one lost little critter back and Brooke stifled a giggle.

  Millie moved offstage as the curtain opened. The parents and family members in the audience watched with smiles and small chortles of laughter as the preschoolers sang and danced their way through the four seasons.

  Laura crouched in front of the stage, mouthing words and encouraging the kids. Millie remained out of sight, lining up children for their entrances and giving quick hugs when they exited the stage. Only once did she have to step out when the beaver’s costume came down over his eyes and the poor boy underneath started to wander the stage, hands out, as if he were playing a game of Marco Polo.

  Brooke sang with gusto through the entire performance, occasionally waving to her family in the front row. Jake sat with his brothers and their wives plus Janis and John. She knew from Olivia that Brooke’s grandparents were sorely disappointed the girl wasn’t going to live with them, but they seemed to finally understand her devotion to Jake.

  Millie took small comfort that she’d known Jake would make a wonderful father. She’d been secretly relieved to hear that Lana Mayfield had taken Jake’s open position with Miles of Medicine and had already left Crimson. But someday he’d find a woman to marry, make a proper family and move forward. Likely he’d forget all about her, but she’d always carry with her the knowledge that she’d helped make him and Brooke a family. She may not have had a choice as to her own upbringing, but she was happy to have helped another little girl avoid her same fate.

  The audience applauded as the last verse of the song ended. She whispered directions to the children about lining up, then stepped back behind the curtain again.

  Laura Wilkes straightened and turned to the audience. She congratulated the children, which led to additional clapping and cheering from the parents.

  “I also want to recognize our teaching assistant, Millie Spencer, for all the time and energy she’s put into making our musical a success.”

  Another round of applause sounded as Laura turned and motioned Millie to join her at the front. Millie shook her head, but the clapping grew louder. Then Brooke walked over and took her hand, leading her out from behind the curtain.

  Millie wasn’t used to being the center of attention this way. Her knees trembled as she smiled and nodded at the parents in the audience. After being run out on the rails from her last teaching position, the change here was overwhelming to her senses.

  As the audience quieted, Laura gave her a small hug. “You’ve been such a blessing to this preschool,” she said, her voice gentle. “I wish there was something we could do to convince you to stay on i
n Crimson.”

  One of the boys from the class stepped forward and handed Millie a stack of letters, tied with a ribbon.

  “Thank-you notes from the class,” Laura explained.

  “Read mine now,” Brooke said, bouncing on her toes next to Millie. “I made it special today.” She handed Millie a folded piece of paper.

  Millie could feel color rise to her cheeks. “This is so nice,” she said to Laura. “All of it. You didn’t have to—”

  “Read my letter.” Brooke snatched the paper from her hand, opened it and held it up in front of Millie. The crowd fell silent. In bold, childish scrawl were the words Merry Us.

  A sigh went up in the crowd, but Millie stood in confusion for a few seconds as Brooke stared at her expectantly.

  “It should be an A,” a voice from the audience said. As she turned, Jake walked up the few steps to stand in front of her. His smile was hesitant, unsure and so very sweet to her.

  “So will you with an A?” Brooke asked.

  “Will I—”

  “Marry us?” Jake supplied. “Or more specifically, marry me?”

  “Daddy, do it right.” Brooke poked at her father’s leg. “You have to do it right so she’ll say yes.”

  He took a breath, as if to calm his nerves, and dropped to one knee. He slid his fingers into hers, and despite all of the people watching, Millie couldn’t look away from his gaze.

  “I love you, Millie,” he said softly.

  “Speak up,” someone from the audience yelled. Millie was pretty sure the voice belonged to Josh. “They can’t hear you in the back.”

  “I love you,” Jake said more clearly, not taking his eyes from hers. “I think I loved you from the first moment you came shimmering into my life. You changed things. You brought back laughter and light and you helped me become the man I didn’t know I could be.”

  “You were always that man,” she whispered.

  He shook his head. “It’s because of you. It’s for you. You deserve so much more than I can ever give you, Millie. But please let me try. I want you to be my wife.”