by Cassi Carver
“That doesn’t sound very fair, keeping them in the dark and making decisions without them.”
“It’s not a democracy, Kara. Thus the name lords.”
She snorted and rubbed her hands against his side to make friction. “I’m too cold to talk about your political beliefs and your philosophies on running a clan. And unless you have your cell phone and those government agencies on speed dial, all we should be talking about right now is how we can break the tracking spell so we can make it to Julian’s cabin.”
“Breaking the tracking spell… Hmm… I have a couple of ideas, but I’m not sure you’ll like either of them.”
“Try me.”
“Well, the first one would be tantamount to swatting a fly with a twelve-gauge shotgun.”
“Ooh, gun talk. Sounds interesting. Keep talking.”
Gavin shifted, taking Kara’s hands between his to warm them. She didn’t have the heart to tell him that his icy fingers were only making hers colder. “The most surefire way to trick a tracking spell would be to cause a fundamental shift in your energy.”
“Okay…”
“You see—” he took her hand and ran a finger down the light blue veins showing through her skin, “—this represents your energy. And this, mine.” He held his hand side by side with Kara’s. “But if we were to merge them—” he wound his fingers through hers, “—you and I would become something new.”
“Wow. It sounds like the whole two-becoming-one-flesh idea I heard in the last wedding service I went to. You’re right. That may be a little over the top.”
He frowned but continued to hold her hand. “I warned you that it was. And I’m not suggesting it. In fact, I think it would be a terrible idea for so many reasons.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Thanks.”
“That’s not what I meant, princess. I’m only talking about keeping you safe. And while merging energy might sound like a good idea to avoid tracking, even if it worked, it probably wouldn’t be positive in the long run.”
“That’s fine.”
“It’s not you. You understand that, don’t you? It’s not that I would mind—”
She yanked her hand back and stood, but then pivoted to face him. “Yeah. I get it. I wouldn’t expect a man who walked out on me to merge his energy with mine. Why are you stressing about it? I know how you feel about—”
Before she could finish her sentence, Gavin rose and snatched her back to his side, bringing his mouth down hard on hers. He tasted so sweet, her belly clenched and her body ignited for him. How had she survived these months without him? His lips on hers was the most bittersweet agony she’d ever experienced, right up there with getting Julian back only to discover he had no memory of their time together.
Julian. The man who’d given everything for her. The man who would never have walked out of her life of his own free will—who came back to her even after death.
She slid her tongue from Gavin’s mouth, raking her fingers over his upper arms. “Stop.”
“If you want me to stop, then you need to stop, Kara. I swear to the Maker I can’t take it anymore. I would never do anything to hurt you if I had another choice. Do you really not see that? Do you really have so little faith in me?”
“What are you talking about? If you left for a reason, you should have told me. You broke my heart, Gavin. But at least you made my decision easy. What do you expect to prove by kissing me now?”
“That I’m sorry for the way things turned out.”
“Sorry?” Kara laughed. “I’m not sure that cuts it. You want to get on my good side—help the man I love. Get him to safety. Make sure he’s all right. You do that, and I’ll be your biggest fan.”
He slowly rubbed the back of his hand over his lips. “I swear to you, I will do everything in my power to help your black-wing find his way to the Shadowland.”
Kara ran her fingers through her hair and tugged her scalp, almost crying in frustration. “Why? Because you think it really could be Julian? Or are you doing it for me? How hard is it to just open your mouth and tell me what you’re thinking?”
“Your friendship is dear to me. I don’t want to lose it.”
Her friendship? Really? Was that how he kissed his friends? “I don’t understand you, Gavin. This push and pull you do just leaves me feeling like I’m going to fall on my ass. It was never that way with Julian. It was never so complicated.”
He laughed. “Not complicated? I think your brain may have frozen, princess. You’re telling me you’re in love with a black-winged amnesiac who’s been attacking my warriors and who will likely be consumed by the Abyss if I can’t convince him to yield control to me so that I can guide him to the Shadowland—a place you can’t travel to until you reach maturity—and that’s all assuming he is my risen brother and not some flaming sadistic Aniliáre like my father, who simply wants to torment you.”
Kara paused a beat. “You forgot the fact that I need his blood for Abbey.”
“Oh, yes. The blood. Brilliant.”
“You know what’s funny, Gavin? Even that big, messy picture you just painted is easier for me to figure out than what’s going on inside your head.”
“I’ve said all I can say.”
When he simply stared back at her with his stubborn hazel eyes, she knew their conversation was finished. “Okay…so where do we go from here?”
“Energy flares,” he ground out.
Oh, sweet smelling salts. “What?”
“Since we can’t conceivably bind our energy together, we’ll have to settle for flares.”
She let out a big breath through pursed lips. “I’m listening.”
“They may not last until sundown, but it should be possible to send up enough energy flares in this area to keep them from pinpointing our location.”
“How does it work?”
“It was traditionally used as a warning to mark territory, but it fell out of favor in the last couple of hundred years. Now land is held with papers, signatures and treaties. It could also draw unwanted attention to us from the smaller Demiáre clusters on the East Coast, but I doubt anyone would trespass on Julian’s land when they realized it was me.”
“Let’s do it. We’ve already wasted too much time.” She honestly didn’t mean to infuse the words with bitterness, but Gavin was a frickin’ enigma.
“Watch me.” He raised his arms and extended his hands to the sky. Kara felt power building in him, twining over his skin until his fingers stiffened, and a shockwave shook loose from his core. Boom!
Air whooshed from his lungs, and he bent double to catch his breath. “You see. Not too bad.”
The atmosphere around them was thick with his mark, as if he’d branded the hills and valleys with his essence. It was so ridiculously sexy, as if she were breathing in a piece of Gavin’s soul with every compression of her diaphragm.
“Your turn,” he said.
Kara’s cheeks burned. She lifted her goose-bumpy arms and extended her fingers toward the gray dawn. Closing her eyes, she focused on summoning her will, her power, until it wreathed around her like snakes dancing over her skin. Then with a grunt, she thrust it toward the heavens. Blip.
Gavin wrestled his smile down, but his eyes shimmered. “Very good. You may need more practice, but that was a very nice first try.”
Oh, hell. How humiliating. But practice she did. Every mile or so, they paused to send up another flare until the entire countryside was one big, stinky Gavin-and-Kara eau de toilette.
By the time they arrived at Julian’s cabin, the sun was peeking up over the horizon, and Kara was so tired, she could have curled up on a patch of snow to sleep.
Even the sound of Gavin’s fist breaking the glass of Julian’s front door wasn’t enough to keep Kara’s head from lolling to the side. Just when she thought her knees might buckle, Gavin opened the front door and lifted her in his arms.
“You did well, princess,” he murmured into her ear as they crossed the threshold. �
��You’re safe now.”
Chapter Sixteen
Gavin carried Kara into Julian’s room and yanked the dust cover off the bed with one hand, then he placed her in the center of the mattress. Her head was limp against the pillow when he returned with a pile of soft blankets. Julian had never brought females here that Gavin was aware of, and the reminders of his dearest friend were present everywhere.
With the morning light filtering in through the windows, glinting a mesmerizing gold off Kara’s long brown locks, Gavin couldn’t move from her side. Since he’d met Kara, life had been a whirlwind. He’d never had the chance to watch her sleep like this. He’d never been able to touch her hair and really test its silky weight in his hand.
He didn’t want her to wake and find him sifting his fingers through her hair, gazing at her with love in his eyes, but she was exhausted from expending her energy, and the soft sound of her breathing was slow and steady. If he thought she’d stay asleep, he might have risked tracing the tip of his finger along the perfect pink bow of her lips.
He ached for her down to the pit of his damned soul.
But even if Julian hadn’t been in the picture, Gavin could never give Kara what she longed for. If he figured out a way to shield her from Brakken’s attention, he still couldn’t get past the fact that he’d sired a child. A sweet, little demibreed boy would arrive on this earth in eight months’ time and be handed over to a demon who ate those who displeased him—a man who tortured his mistresses and children with the ease that some people stroked their pets.
With a brow furrowed in guilt, Gavin kicked off his shoes and crawled into bed behind Kara, spooning his body around hers ever so carefully so as not to wake her. He pulled the blankets up around them and sighed as her heat warmed him to the coldest crevices of his heart.
Could he take her away with him? Could he take his son and the woman he loved and flee to somewhere Brakken would never find them? When she learned of the child, would she even want to go?
With a self-deprecating smile, Gavin closed his eyes and pressed his cheek to the back of her head. Why did he torment himself with these dreams? She loved Julian. She’d told him as much, and he’d promised to help. He couldn’t fathom that the brother of his heart could have risen from the grave to join the ranks of the hell-bound angels, but Kara believed it, and that was enough to get his attention.
He skimmed his fingers down her arm and rested his hand over hers. No, he couldn’t have her. This fragile moment in time was all that Fate—the merciless bitch—would ever allow him.
Kara awoke to the gentle sound of Gavin’s voice in her ear. “Princess… Princess, it’s time to rise. The sun will be going down soon.”
Kara jerked, her heart pounding, and the back of her head hit something that—judging by the proximity of his voice—could only be Gavin’s face. How could it already be time? She flipped over and saw Gavin holding a hand to his bloody lip.
“Oh! Sorry,” she said, but then her eyes narrowed. “I wasn’t expecting you to be in the same bed.”
He licked at the small drop of blood. “I thought it would be safer if we were in the same room. Your strength seemed depleted, and I couldn’t risk someone attacking you while you slept.”
She shifted in the toasty cocoon and smiled. “Thanks.”
“It’s nothing.”
“No, really. Thank you, Gavin. I wish I knew what you’re not telling me, but I do believe you would have been there for the clan if you could have been. I made you a deal back at the apartment that if you helped me with Julian, I would give you the benefit of the doubt. You’ve kept your word, and I haven’t. I’m sorry. It’s just…harder than I thought it would be to let go.”
“I understand.”
“Do you? If it was just anger, just hate, that would be easy. But I look at you, and I know you’re a good man. I could never truly hate you, so all that leaves room for in my heart is hurt.”
He stared at her a long while, his face so haunted, Kara thought if she gazed long enough into his eyes she might unbury his secrets there. She waited, but he didn’t speak. “You’re really not going to tell me, are you?”
He shook his head. His lips were a thin line, white around the edges, and his face was flushed. “I can’t.”
She gave him a small smile. “That’s okay. A deal’s a deal, right? You’re still going to help me with Julian…”
He took her hand. “You know I am.”
She squeezed his fingers and slipped from the bed. “Okay. Let’s do this. Let’s get ready to go save a black-wing.”
Gavin’s smile was slow and shallow, as if it only affected the surface of his face and didn’t penetrate deeper. “I’m sure we can find you something warm to wear, but any food here will come from a can, unfortunately.”
“That’s okay. Before Jaxon moved in, most of the food in my apartment came from a can.” She started looking through the drawers. “So, Julian really keeps clothes in all the places he stays?”
“Not all, but since it takes seconds to travel, it’s nice to have each location at least partially stocked.”
Her gaze fell on the window. With the position of the sun in the sky, they had a half hour tops before Julian returned.
Kara paced to the window. “How far is it to the tree?”
“No more than a mile. He chose a house along the border of the sacred land, so it doesn’t take long from here.”
“Are you nervous?”
Gavin rose from the bed. “Yes. As well I should be. I’ve had a lifetime of experience with the power of the Aniliáre. They aren’t to be trifled with.”
Kara bit her lip as an image of Julian’s shout invaded her mind. She would never forget the horror of her attacker disintegrating to bits in front of her eyes. “I should warn you that he probably won’t remember you, and he can be slightly…intense.”
“I know how to deal with them as well as anyone does.”
Kara twisted the hem of her shirt in her fingers. “But don’t you think this time is a little different?”
His eyebrows rose. “Are you trying to talk me out of it?”
“No, I just don’t want anything to happen to you. I couldn’t handle that.”
“It’s not your responsibility. If it is Julian, I’ll help him to safety, but if it isn’t, then the only place I’m going to show him is the Abyss.”
“Oh, for the love of Pete, Gavin. It’s him. I swear.”
“The sun is almost down, and if you’re right, he’ll be materializing under the poplar. Why don’t you look through the closet while I find us something to eat?”
Kara rummaged through the clear plastic bags hanging in Julian’s closet and found a red long-sleeved shirt for Gavin and a heavy brown coat to go over it. For herself, she chose a green flannel shirt over a thick black sweater. With how many times she had to roll the sleeves, her wrists would be the warmest part of her body. But her feet were in trouble. The only thing they could find for her was a pair of rubber flip-flops. Gavin used a pair of kitchen shears to trim them closer to the size of Kara’s feet while she changed in the bathroom and freshened up.
When they left out the front door, tummies full of soup and each carrying a blanket, Kara started to worry. The position of the sun was all that mattered at that moment as it continued its descent and the night crept up to overtake the last remnants of the day.
“There.” Gavin pointed to a tall, somewhat narrow tree in the center of a field. It wasn’t alone, though—other smaller trees had sprouted up around it.
“That’s the sacred tree?” She wrinkled her nose. “Are you sure? It’s taller than the one on the island and not as full.” It looked as if it was losing leaves, but they weren’t turning colors as she’d expected. They were just dropping off to accumulate on the ground below.
“Very sure. I was here when he planted that one.”
They came to stand near the trunk, and Kara tilted her head back, seeking the top of the tree. “I didn’t know that. I kn
ew you were close, but I’ve never had the chance to hear the stories of how you spent your time outside the clan.”
“I loved Gable. He was my brother, and I believe he would have been a good man if he hadn’t been raised by Brakken, but I’ve never been closer to another man than I was to Julian.”
Kara slid down the trunk and sat with her back leaning against it. Gavin gestured to the spot beside her. “Do you mind?”
“Please,” she said softly, inviting him to sit. “When I said I couldn’t imagine how difficult it must have been for you to lose two brothers, I meant it. I thought I’d lost Abbey, but that wasn’t the same thing as really losing Abbey. It only lasted about twenty minutes—and they were the worst twenty minutes of my life.”
“What you have with Abbey is the perfect example of what Julian and I shared. Just multiply it by eight or ten lifetimes.”
Kara sat in pensive silence for a moment, playing with her fingers. “So isn’t there a part of you that’s sort of excited to see him again? I don’t understand why everyone has been so hell-bent on convincing me that a Shadow Rising isn’t possible. Would it be so bad to get my hopes up?”
Gavin pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. “Maybe it isn’t your hopes we’re worried will be dashed, but our own. And you also have to remember that every single one of us highborns had Aniliáre fathers. They can take the shape of whatever they like. Try seeing your father masquerade as your mother—the woman he killed—using her mannerisms, replicating her scent, just to see you suffer. Then maybe you’ll understand the skepticism.”
Kara covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh, Gavin. That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.”
He shrugged. “I do trust your judgment, Kara, but I suppose it’s the sort of thing where I need to see him with my own eyes before I will be truly convinced.”
