My Kind Of Country: The Complete Series

by Michelle Thomas

  ***

  He sat on the front porch quietly, squinting into the setting sun. He only turned when he heard the screen door squeak open and closed behind him, and Katie joined him on the porch with the hint of amusement on her lips. The condensation from the glass between her fingertips was dripping onto the faded painted stairs.

  “Wow, he was out like a light within minutes. Didn’t even make it to the end of the story,” she said. Chad watched from the corner of his eye as she visibly relaxed, her own gaze extending outward across the barnyard at the long shadows that crept along the gravel driveway and the garden.

  “Tuckered him out today, huh?” Chad chuckled, knowing full well that Mason had worked just as hard as they had on the pumpkin patch. Watching such a small boy heave around big ol’ pumpkins that probably weighed half of what he did had been quite amusing, at least until Chad’s fascination with watching the boy’s efforts had crossed from amusement into being thoroughly impressed. He wasn’t scared of hard work, and the thought crossed Chad’s mind that maybe, in some way, Mason felt he had to work that hard and help out his mom since his dad wasn’t around to do it. Chad pursed his lips to bite back the rush of disgust that came over him just thinking about Jay and his sense of entitlement.

  “He worked hard today, probably to show off to you.” Katie bit her bottom lip, suppressing her humor.

  Chad turned to meet her eyes. “Show off?”

  She nodded her head toward the screen door. “He asked me just before I started into the story if I thought you were proud of him for being such a big help.” She looked away, her gaze returning to the shadows before her. “I assured him we both were, and that we couldn’t have done it without him.”

  “Of course. He was a real trooper today.” He didn’t know how else to respond, but his heart swelled with pride that Mason would want to prove something to him. Sometimes, it was easy for Chad to forget just how beyond his years Mason truly was.

  Katie seemed to mull over her thoughts, glancing down at the glass in her hands, then turned to face Chad. “You’re really good with him, you know.”

  Chad quickly wondered if maybe he wasn’t the only one who had plans to have a serious conversation tonight, one that had nothing to do with work. “He’s a good kid, Katie. He gets along with everybody pretty well, I think.”

  Katie gave a brief nod. “That may be true, but he seems to like you more than most other people. You’re definitely cooler than I am.” She flashed him a sideways grin, nudging him lightly with her knee.

  “Everyone is cooler than your mom when you’re a kid.” Chad laughed. “Don’t take it personally.” He winked at her. “You ain’t so bad, though, trust me.”

  The thought toppled out of his mouth before he realized he was speaking it aloud. If he’d been someone who got easily embarrassed, he would have felt the heat flush in his cheeks. Fortunately, he shrugged it off as a lighthearted remark and took a drink from his glass to fill the silence between them. He swallowed the cool liquid, stealing a glance to his right.

  He might not have been the blushing type, but Katie definitely was. Her cheeks glowed brilliantly with an intense red heat, and Chad took another drink just so he could mask the smirk crossing his lips. So, Katie was paying attention to the undertone of his words. The shift in conversation caused an awkward hush to fall over them, neither knowing what to say next. When he saw her pull her knees up tighter to her chest, setting her glass down momentarily to rub warmth back into her bare arms, he came up with an idea.

  “How about I make a bonfire?”

  “A bonfire? No, that’s okay. It’s a lot of work to get it going.”

  Chad waved off the idea. “Not if you know how to do it properly.” He smiled slyly.

  “It’s late, Chad. Don’t worry about—”

  “Just for a little bit, okay?” He reached out and touched her arm, so gently that a feather may have weighed more. However, the impact his touch had on both of them was instantaneous, and they both stared, firstly at his fingertips on her skin, then up to meet the other’s gaze. Her eyes were wide, unsure, and questioning, but she nodded in agreement.

  “Go grab yourself a sweater, and I’ll get some scrap wood from the barn work I did earlier this week to use as kindling.” He patted her arm, a friendly gesture, in hopes that he hadn’t scared her back into being the serious Katie he was usually able to banish by now.

  Another curt nod answered his suggestion, and Katie disappeared into the house without a word.

  Intent on building a decent fire, Chad tried not to worry too much about the fact that she hadn’t yet returned. It was growing darker by the second, and he wondered silently if she’d perhaps locked the door behind her and decided not to come back outside.

  You pushed her too far, he thought sadly. The fire was crackling weakly when she finally returned, her emergence from the house announced by the squeak of the door and the dark figure making its way across the gravel lot to the cleared spot of grass where Chad had chosen to create the makeshift fire pit.

  “You had to build the fire on the grass?”

  “It was the only spot that was far enough away from all the trees that surround this place. Is that all right?” Immediately, he felt bad for not asking first, followed by a sense of dread that she was angry with him, not only for burning the grass but also for touching her earlier.

  He saw her head nod, her blonde locks illuminated by the ever-growing flickering flames in front of her. “Sure. There are a few canvas chairs in the utility shed. I’ll be right back.”

  Again, she disappeared into the darkness, leaving Chad alone with his thoughts. He could see her in his mind’s eye, pulling her sweater tightly around her as she hid in the shed wondering how she would get out of having to hang out with him, desperately trying to evade him now. Thankfully, the darkness shielded him as he rolled his eyes, feeling foolish at his paranoia. He tucked his lighter back in his pocket and stared into the flames as he attempted to calm his overanxious mind.

  “Here.” Katie’s voice sounded from behind him, and he turned to accept the canvas chair from her. He set it up silently, but was relieved when Katie set hers up beside his. Well, she’s not trying to keep her distance from me, anyway. At this rate, he was going to drive himself insane before he ever got the words out of his mouth that he planned to say.

  “Why are you so jumpy?” Katie asked.

  Chad lowered himself into the chair and looked up. “Why are you?”

  “I’m not.”

  “Me neither.”

  They stared at each other, challenging the other one to explain first. A tense silence buzzed between them and, as though in sync, they both averted their eyes toward the dancing flames at the same time.

  “Why don’t you want to be here, Katie?” The question formed on Chad’s lips before he could stop it. He expected her to ask what he meant or, more likely, deny it and avoid the question altogether. Instead, she spoke in a quiet voice, so hushed that it almost sounded haunted when combined with the snaps and crackles of the fire.

  “I never wanted to farm.” Katie’s eyes never left the fire. “This was my dad’s place, and he adored it. I grew up here, but things were different then. I left and went to college, got my degree in nursing, and got a full-time position in the cancer center a few hours away in Toronto. I loved what I did, and I was damn good at it.”

  “I could picture you as a nurse,” Chad said with an encouraging smile. He didn’t want to say too much, lest she decide to stop explaining.

  “Dad became sick last year, terminal brain cancer. Inoperable. He had no one else, but he adored this place, so was adamant that he not spend his last days anywhere else. He adored it here, but I adored him.” A sad smile crossed her face, and Chad’s hand twitched, fighting the urge to reach out and hold hers.

  “I left my job in Toronto and tried desperately to find a balance between caring for my dad and being there for Mason and Jay. I did try, I swear. Mason came here with me in
the beginning when he could, but after a while I didn’t want him to remember his grandfather that way, you know? I don’t think my dad did, either, but he would never turn his grandson away, no matter how much he was hurting or how close to the end he was. After a while, Jay didn’t want Mason subjected to the nastiness of terminal illness, but he wouldn’t stay home to be with Mason either while I was here. Jay continued to fly in and out of our lives for work, just as he always did, and Mason ended up being pulled from school temporarily to be with me here so I could spend time with them both.”

  Chad turned his gaze from the fire to Katie. “You did the best you could do, Katie.”

  Her expression didn’t change. “It didn’t matter to him that the farm was too far out of the city to have a home healthcare nurse visit daily. Who else was going to administer his medications and input his IVs? Who else was going to help him die with a little dignity?”

  Katie’s sudden bitterness sounded sharp to his ears, and he flinched at the anger that exuded from her. “Who didn’t it matter to?”

  She turned to face him. “Jay.”

  “Jay gave you a hard time about being there for your dying father.” It wasn’t a question, and the words tasted foul on his tongue. Reflexively, Chad clenched his fist, balling up his rising anger within it.

  “I kept Mason out of his grandfather’s bedroom toward the end. I might have been naïve to believe that I could juggle caring for both of them, but I wasn’t ignorant to the effects that seeing a loved one so frail and on their deathbed could have on a young boy. My dad wasn’t even lucid by that time, anyway. All I did for weeks was go in and out of that bedroom, giving medications, changing bedding, monitoring vital signs, and talking to him, even though I’m not sure he heard much of anything I said.”

  “He knew you loved him, and that’s what matters.” Chad caught her glimpse in his direction. It was just a flash, a brief flicker of emotion that could have been explained away as a trick of the firelight, but Chad knew what he’d seen. Weakness.

  She’s human, after all, he thought, relief washing through him. Almost immediately, though, he wanted to take it back. The single tear that trickled down Katie’s cheek broke his heart, and a windfall of emotions overtook him as well. He didn’t shed a tear or even blink back any from his own eyes. Instead, he leaned sideways slightly in his chair and wrapped his fingers around her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. To his surprise, Katie didn’t pull away.

  “He knew,” Katie nodded. “But he died, anyway. And part of me died with him.”

  “That’s not true. You’re still you; you’re just grieving.” Chad was struggling to stay still, feeling as though he needed to do something more, say something more, to make her see that she wasn’t less than whole because of her ordeal. She was stronger than she would ever give herself credit for.

  “That’s not what Jay said.”

  “Jay doesn’t know a damn thing.” Chad spat out the words venomously, and Katie turned to him abruptly, searching his face for... what? Answers? He wasn’t sure.

  “He left a few weeks after the funeral. Just like that. He sat me down, said I wasn’t the same woman anymore that I’d once been, that I’d let the old me, the real me, be buried away just as deep as my father was now. He just couldn’t go through with the marriage.”

  “That all sounds like a sad excuse for a copout to me. You deserve better, Katie. You have to know that.” Chad was swallowing hard now, unsure which feeling was stronger—the anger that he could barely contain toward Jay, or the devastation he felt for Katie, that she could actually believe the lies and assumptions that spewed from her ex’s mouth.

  “I’m not sure what I deserve anymore, that’s the problem.”

  In one fluid motion, Chad was up out of his chair and kneeling down beside Katie’s, her hand grasped firmly between both of his. His eyes locked with hers, and he watched as the flames flickered back at him from within her eyes. “Don’t you ever think for one second that you’ve done anything wrong. Caring for your dying father; that’s honorable. Doing it while caring for your young son; that’s incredible. But, doing all of that without the support of anyone else? Katie, you’ve got no idea just how amazing and strong you really are, do you?” He didn’t expect her to answer the question, but he posed it anyway. “I’ve sat by and watched you take everything that’s been thrown at you, without questioning it and without complaining. By the sounds of it, you’ve handled more than most people ever could, and you still can’t seem to view yourself as the hero you are. To your son. To me.”

  Katie stood swiftly, knocking her chair back in her haste. She bit her bottom lip tightly, and Chad could see her eyes darting as though in search of some kind of escape route. She pulled away from his grasp, hugging her arms around herself tightly.

  “Katie...” Chad tried to soothe her. Instead, she took one last sharp inhalation of breath and turned away from him, heading back in the direction of the house.

  “Katie.” He repeated her name again, this time in a less pleading manner. She didn’t slow her steps.

  “Katie!” he exclaimed, one last time in desperation.

  This time, she stopped walking, but she didn’t turn around. She didn’t do anything, and Chad closed the gap between them in a few paces. He didn’t touch her at first, coming around to face her, fear engulfing him as to what he might see written on her face. Instead, he recognized an array of emotions. Surprise showed in her widened eyes. Anger was evident in her clenched jaw. Fear was laid out across the tension in her shoulders and the tightly lipped visage she wore. Quite frankly, she looked ready to come unhinged, ready to flee her surroundings, ready to...

  Katie leaned forward and touched her lips to his. Instinctively, Chad reached out to hold her steady, the quivering of her bottom lip giving away her trepidation. Slowly, he stepped into her, enveloping his arms around her, offering protection. The kiss intensified only momentarily, and was over long before Chad’s heartbeat slowed from the shock of it.

  He didn’t let go, holding her against him, feeling her body give in and relax against his. He rested his chin on top of her head, exhaling loudly to steady himself. He felt as though an immeasurable weight had been lifted from his shoulders, as though he’d been hiding from this moment for so long and, now, he didn’t understand his fear of it in the first place.

  The sound of Katie’s muffled sob broke him from his own thoughts. Chad reached out gently and tilted her chin up toward his face to make sure she was okay. There were no tears as he’d expected, but she was struggling to remain composed. He removed his hand from her chin and let her burrow back into his chest.

  He kissed the top of her head and let the time pass in silence, but Chad had no concept of how much. He felt her arms slowly release from around her own body and snake around his hips instead. They held on to each other, no words spoken and no movements made. Only the crackling fire and chirping crickets were heard beyond the easy breaths they took. Slowly, both of them regained control of their emotions, and Katie was the first to pull away from their embrace. He let his fingertips linger at her waist, but gave her the freedom to pull back as far as she needed to. This time, her eyes were slightly swollen but there was also a newfound resilience in them. When he saw it, Chad’s mouth eased into a small smile. She gave him one back in return, though it was more reserved.

  “I’m sorry,” Chad breathed.

  “For what?” Her eyebrows rose, a wave of uncertainty flashing across her face.

  “For everything you’ve been through.”

  “It led me here, didn’t it?” Tears rimmed her eyes then, but she laughed out loud at her own emotional instability. Chad chuckled as well, raising his thumb up to wipe the few stray tears that had welled over onto her cheeks.

  “It did.” He lowered his head, pressing his lips to hers again. When he pulled away this time, a glint shone in his eyes as he cupped her tear-streaked face in his hands. “You should have let me kiss you first.”

  �
�You’re so old-fashioned.”

  “Maybe I am.” He pressed his forehead to hers, closing his eyes as he struggled to commit every aspect of this moment to his memory to revisit later. “But I still would’ve liked to have been the one to kiss you first.”

  “I’m sorry.” Katie’s voice was breathy and light.

  “No, you’re not.”

  “You’re right, I’m not. About anything.”

  Chad pulled away to search her features. “About anything?”

  “I don’t regret any of it,” she announced, her voice shaking slightly under the weight of her words.

  “No?”

  Her eyes glistened as she spoke, but she nodded in affirmation. “It led me to you.”

  Chad kissed her eyelids, kissing away the tears that were still falling. “It did.” He reached forward and pulled her sweater a bit tighter around her shoulders, gently sliding his hand into hers as he led her back toward the house.

  ***

  Chad laid back on the futon in the barn office, convinced he could still hear the occasional snap of the bonfire even though he’d extinguished it hours ago. Still, he couldn’t shake the thought, and found himself padding across the office in his socks to peer out the window. Sure enough, it was completely out, and only a sliver of gray smoke still rose from the pit. He was about to head back to his bed when he noticed the strip of light shining through the partially drawn curtains upstairs in Katie’s house.

  It’d been more than three hours since their fireside conversation. Three hours since their kiss. Yet, Katie’s bedroom light was still on, too. She should be in a deep sleep by now.

  So should you, you idiot, he chastised himself silently, shaking his head at being up so late. He initially wondered if something was wrong. Perhaps Mason had suffered a bad dream and Katie was attempting to console him. However, as quick as the assumption flitted into his mind, it was quashed.

  She’s awake for the same reason I am.