Making New Memories

by Karen Ward

  When I enter the great room, the first person I see is Dylan and he smiles warmly at me making my nerve endings tingle and my heart speeds up a notch. He is standing in front of a crackling fire in the fireplace wearing a forest green shirt the same color as his eyes. His broad shoulders look even wider than I remember and taper down to his trim waist and long legs encased in well worn jeans. His chocolate brown hair is barely brushing his collar and looks mussed like he has been running his fingers through it. Butterflies are flitting around in my stomach and a smile finds its way to my face.

  When he sees Skye enter the room, Dylan feels the smile spread across his face. She is so gorgeous. Her blue eyes, the color of a clear Montana sky, are sparkling and her cheeks are still rosy from spending so much time out in the cold. Her blonde hair is hanging in loose curls down her back and he longs to run his fingers through the silky tresses, to feel her body pressed close to his and taste those luscious lips.

  Watching his two good friends as they greet each other, Barry's heart warms when he sees the interest the two can't hide. Nothing would please him more than for them to get together. Unfortunately they both have a lot of excess baggage and it will take a lot of patience to work their way through the mess.

  He's not even sure that's possible after what Skye's been through. Dylan seems to think she's changed since he was around her. He hopes that's true and from what he's seen so far, it may very well be true. She deserves to be free of the crippling fear that has controlled her life for so many years.

  He has to admit he was surprised when she allowed Dylan to put his arm around her when they exited the helicopter. He wouldn't have believed it possible if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes. She had never even allowed him to get that close to her all the times they went out in public together.

  After dinner and a few minutes of companionable conversation, everyone scatters to their various rooms leaving Dylan and me alone on the sofa by the fireplace. Smiling he asks, "Are you settling in all right? Is there anything you need?"

  "I'm fine. Everyone has been so nice. How about you? How is your shoulder?"

  "It still hurts some but with the antibiotics Goose gave me I'll be fine in a couple of days," answers Dylan.

  "I really like Barry's wife, Melanie. I think there must be a story that I haven't heard yet, will you tell me?"

  Hesitating only briefly, Dylan begins the story, "Melanie ran away from home when she was fifteen and was picked up while hitch hiking by the leader of one of those militia groups in Idaho. He kidnapped her and held her captive for ten years until she and Eric escaped. Eric's father was chasing her when she got stranded by heavy snow on the back side of this ranch. Barry found them thanks to Ringo, the Lab. If Eric's father had gotten to her, he undoubtedly would have killed her. The other guys and I were able to secure her safety. That's when we first came to the ranch. Melanie and Barry fell in love over the months and the rest is history."

  "When you say she was kidnapped and held captive, does that mean she was r..r..raped?"

  "Yes, Eric's father raped her repeatedly until she finally accepted her fate. He beat her regularly too. The first time he beat Eric for trying to stop him from hitting Melanie is when she got the courage to try to escape."

  "I wonder how she ever got past being raped," I whisper.

  Reaching for her hand, he looks deeply into her eyes and says, "Skye, not all men are cruel. Sometimes it's just a matter of overwriting bad memories with good ones. Just like trusting me enough to lie curled up in my arms. That is a good memory isn't it?"

  Shyly looking at Dylan I reply, "Yes, I felt very safe lying next to you. Honestly I was surprised and I think I would like to do it again sometime, preferably in a warm bed. I'm just really scared of what might come next."

  A feeling of warmth flows down into Dylan's soul. Smiling warmly as he gazes into her sky blue eyes he says, "When you're ready, you let me know. I'll help you overwrite any memory you want me too."

  He brings her hand to his lips and tenderly kisses her palm. "I better go. I'm still a little weak from the loss of blood. Sleep well, Skye."

  "Dylan, thank you," I say and kiss him on the cheek.

  As he is walking back across the yard to the barn, Dylan is smiling. Skye said she likes lying curled up next to him and wants to do it again sometime. Nothing would please him more. Especially if they manage do more than lie together. He reminds himself to take things slowly. He doesn't want to do anything that might scare her. She is as skittish as any filly he has ever seen.

  CHAPTER 4

  Stump, who was born Clarence Kincaid, Jr. travels to Kalispell Montana the next day where he gets a room in the hotel overlooking the mall parking lot. The first thing he does is search the parking lot to make sure Skye's red BMW has not yet been delivered then he perches himself in the window to get a glimpse of his father when he delivers the car.

  He has only been watching for about two hours when he sees the car pull into the lot and park right below his window. Unable to tear his eyes away, Stump watches as his father climbs out of the car and walks toward the mall. Butterflies are doing somersaults in his stomach he is so excited. He is exactly as Scoot had described him, very big and very hairy with a ponytail half way down his back, a full beard and hairy arms sticking out from under red plaid flannel shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbows. When he disappears from sight, Stump grabs his room key and heads for the fire stairs to try and catch up and follow him into the mall.

  He rushes into the mall and follows him to the food court. Stump watches him as he gets food at one of the vendors and moves to a table away from the other people to eat. His father doesn't even know he has a son. Stump was born eight and a half months after his father left for Vietnam and he is very nervous. After Bear takes a seat at one of the tables, Stump, heart pounding furiously, approaches,

  "Excuse me sir, are you Clarence Kincaid?"

  Surprised at the intrusion, the man looks up and assesses the young man speaking to him. He appears to be in his mid to late thirties, about five foot ten or eleven, well developed muscles, clean shaven, a military style haircut, and very hairy arms. He reminds Bear of himself as a young man and his heart speeds up a little.

  He asks, "Who wants to know?"

  The man's voice, as smooth as melted chocolate, slides over Stump. Yes, that is exactly the way his Mom had described it and how he remembers it from the taped recording he has of his father reading a bedtime story to his older half brother just before he left for Vietnam.

  Nervously Stump lifts his chin and says, "Well, if you are Clarence Kincaid, then you're my father. I'm Clarence Kincaid, Jr."

  Bear's heart stops at the words, his son? No, it can't be true. He doesn't have a son. Then shaking his head he says, "You're wrong, I don't have any kids."

  Encouraged because he hasn't said he's not Clarence Kincaid, Stump continues, "Sir, my mother, Jesse Williams and you were dating and in love when you were drafted and chose to join the Marines. I have an older half brother named Johnny who was five at the time. You made a recording of The Little Train that Could for him just before you left for boot camp. I still have it. I was born eight and a half months to the day after you left. I even look like the pictures of you my Mom kept in her scrapbook."

  Finishing off his burger and fries while Stump is talking he wipes his mouth and asks, "How did you find me?"

  "Skye Reynolds told my buddy Scoot your name. I came to pick up her car," Stump answers.

  "Is Skye all right? Did that fellow get her to the ranch in Wyoming safely?" Bear asks.

  "Yes, they got to the ranch yesterday. I flew back this morning to pick up the car," answers Stump.

  "Are you a Marine?" asks Bear.

  "I was. I retired after eight years. I work for Drake Security now with Scoot and two others from our unit. We all live on the ranch in Wyoming," answers Stump.

  "How is Jesse?" asks Bear wistfully.

  "She's all right. She lives in Phoenix and works at
a hospital there. She's a nurse you know," answers Stump. Then he adds, "She still loves you, Sir, she never married. It hurt her terribly when you didn't come back to her after you came home from the war."

  Dropping his eyes to the table he says, "I couldn't. I still have flashbacks and I was afraid I would hurt someone. I couldn't bear the thought of hurting Jesse or Johnny. It's better if I stay away from people."

  Not surprised by his statement Stump says, "The doctors have made a lot of progress in treating Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. That's what they call it now. They can help with flashbacks. Mom works in a special unit where they treat veterans with PTSD. She keeps hoping you'll show up one day."

  He hands Bear a card with his cell phone number on it along with his mother's contact information. Then Stump rises from the table. "I guess I better get started on the road back to Wyoming. Call anytime. You'll always be welcome at the ranch."

  As he watches his son walk away Clarence Kincaid Sr. is overcome with loneliness. He has loved Jesse Williams for nearly forty years. She is the reason he survived in Vietnam and his love for her has kept him going ever since. He is just so afraid of hurting her during one of his night terrors. Now he finds out he hurt her by staying away. Maybe he should seek help. If there is hope that he can overcome these dreams and find his way back to Jesse he has to take it.

  He jumps up from the table, rushes through the mall, and back to the parking lot. He is standing beside the red BMW when Stump comes out of the hotel. Surprised, Stump asks, "Did you want something?"

  Bear says, "Yeah, I want to go with you. I want to get that help you talked about. I want to see your mother and get to know you. Can we stop by my cabin and pick up some things?"

  Smiling Stump says, "Sure, get in." They climb in the car and head for Wyoming.

  Stump's heart is soaring! His father is coming to the ranch with him! He is going to get help for his flashbacks and be part of his life. Maybe he and his Mom will even get together again. That would be the most wonderful thing in the world. He never dreamed this trip would reap such wonderful benefits so quickly. He can't wait to call his Mom.

  Bear can't believe he has a son! He wishes he had been around to watch him grow up. Jesse obviously did a fantastic job. His son followed in his footsteps and joined the Marines. He can't wait to get to know him better. He is so proud of him already.

  ******

  I am settling into life at Rock Springs Ranch. I am enjoying getting to know Melanie Virginia, and Patricia. Eleven year old Eric is adorable. Eric and I ride together every morning. He is so excited about the baby brother his Mom is expecting just in time for Christmas and it is obvious that Barry is his hero. He is fascinated by all of the Marines on the ranch.

  Eric is an absolute chatterbox and has told me all about his life in the compound in Idaho where he and his Mom lived for the first nine years of his life. He told me about how they escaped from the compound and how his Dad had followed them, how Barry had rescued them and how the members of the Drake Security team had killed his Dad before he could hurt his Mom again. Then he told me about how two men from the compound had kidnapped him on four wheelers and how Barry and Pinky had leaned out of the sides of the helicopter and shot them. He also told me about how his whole family had been kidnapped and kept in a cave for five days and how Barry and the former Marines had helped the FBI rescue them. I am amazed that a child so seemingly well adjusted has experienced all of the things he has told me. When I ask him about how he deals with all of his feelings and his fears, he tells me about the counselor Barry has hired to help him work through his feelings and deal with his fears.

  Observing Barry and Melanie together, it is obvious to me they are very much in love. Barry dotes on her and I am envious of Melanie's relationship with Barry. I long for someone to love me in the same way but I know that is impossible, at least until I work through my fear. During my second week at the ranch as Melanie and I are working side by side in the kitchen I ask,

  "Melanie, Dylan told me part the story about how you met Barry. Would you mind my asking you how you got past being r..r..raped?"

  Because Barry had shared some of Skye's story with her, Melanie understands why Skye is asking the question and thoughtfully answers, "While I was at the compound I just accepted it as my fate and put it out of my mind. I never really had a choice. It was be raped and accept the sexual intimacy or die and I chose to accept it in order to survive. It was much easier and less painful that way. After I came here, Barry tried to show me that making love is different, but I didn't really get past all of it until I went through extensive counseling. Even though I physically enjoyed being intimate with Barry, I held part of myself back until after I worked through all of it in counseling."

  "Did you have to leave here to go through counseling?" I ask.

  "I was living in Seattle with my parents when I first started in counseling, but I'm sure we can get Eric's counselor to recommend someone that will come here if you are interested," says Melanie.

  "I know I need to work through my past and I think I may finally be ready to talk about it. Would you ask if someone can come here? I'm not ready to venture out in public yet," responds Skye.

  ******

  Dylan contacted his ex-wife Elena again as soon as he and Skye returned to the ranch. Once again, Elena refused to allow him time with Damian. It is time to take action. Contacting the lawyer he used for his divorce he asks him to file for custody of Damian on the basis of lack of cooperation from Elena. The lawyer doesn't really give him much hope for custody since he has not been a part of Damian's life for the past eight years but maybe he can force Elena to allow Damian to spend time with Dylan. Having a stable home on the ranch with other children present is a good case to make to the judge.

  Elena is not aware, but Dylan has spent some time with Damian. He has been going to most of Damian's baseball games since he started playing three years ago. He always stays in the background so he is not noticed. One day, after the game he followed the team to the local mall where they were in the game room playing video games. Dylan approached Damian and spent time talking to him. Ever since that day he meets Damian at the mall at least once a month. One of Damian's baseball coaches is a former Marine and knows the situation. He has been assisting Dylan by orchestrating the visits. Dylan can't, of course, tell the lawyer about the visits or Elena might put a stop to them and that would break his heart.

  ******

  Dylan has been watching Skye from a distance giving her time to settle in at the ranch. He knows she and Eric ride every morning so he decides to wait on her in the barn for a casual conversation. When Eric and I enter the barn and I see him standing with our horses already saddled, my face breaks into a warm smile. "Good morning Dylan. It is nice to see you. How is your shoulder?" she asks.

  "I'm healing nicely, thank you. I must have had a good nurse. So, are you all settled now?" he asks.

  "Yes, it is great here. I haven't felt so safe in a very long time. Thank you for bringing me here. Why haven't you been back to dinner? You are always welcome you know."

  "I wanted to give you time to get to know the others. Would you like to take a walk after dinner tonight? The weather is supposed to be milder than usual."

  "That would be nice. What time?"

  "I'll come by around seven."

  ******

  When I come out of my room just before seven that evening I find Dylan standing by the fireplace in deep conversation with Barry. When he spots me, a warm smile spreads across his face. His smile causes my nerves to tingle and a feeling of warmth and happiness to spread all through my body and I return his smile.

  Barry says, "Go ahead, I'll catch you tomorrow."

  Nodding, Dylan takes my hand in his and says, "Ready?"

  I nod and we head toward the door. Walking across the stone patio we head toward the river behind the house. Dylan says, "So tell me what you've been doing the past few days?"

  Blushing, I say, "Well, beside
s riding every day with Eric, I had a long conversation with Melanie. I asked her about how she got past her ordeal. She told me she had help from a counselor so I am going to try it."

  Smiling, Dylan says, "Skye, that's great news. I know you will get past all of your fears. I'm proud of you for confronting them head on."

  Warmed by his words, I say, "Dylan, the night up in Montana when your fever was so high you were mumbling a lot. I really couldn't understand most of it but I was wondering, who is Elena?"

  Because I am holding his hand, I feel him tense and my heart rate kicks up a level and a sense of dread overcomes me. I hope I haven't made him angry.

  Taking a deep breath Dylan answers, "Elena is my ex-wife."

  "Oh, you obviously still have issues with her. I'm sorry I brought it up."

  "It's all right, I'm sorry I'm so touchy about her. It's just that she won't let me see our son and we are headed to a major court battle about it."

  "You have a son? How old is he?" I ask truly interested. I have really enjoyed getting to know Eric.

  With anger still obvious in his voice Dylan answers, "Damian is eight. It is nothing new that Elena won't let me see him. She hasn't let me since I left her when he was a baby. I have been sneaking around behind her back spending time with him with the help of a friend, but I am tired of it and want it settled once and for all. I want him to be able to come here and meet Eric, to see where I live and what I do."

  "I'm sorry. I know that has to be hard for you. Why do you think she won't let you see him?" I ask.

  "I don't know unless she is just trying to punish me for leaving. I should have fought her for custody at the time but I thought he would be better off with her. He was only three months old and was still breast feeding. I didn't have a stable home to take him to, I don't know. I was so upset with her at the time I wasn't thinking straight."