The Secrets of a Lady (The Jordans)

by Jenna Petersen

  “I’m not certain,” she said softly. “You would have to ask my brother’s permission before I could do such a thing. After all, he’s my guardian during our travels.”

  “I’m not asking you for permission,” he said, his tone suddenly peevish. “I’m asking if you want to spend an evening with me.”

  She jumped at the anger in his voice. “Oh. Well, in that case, yes.”

  Another smile leapt to her lips. Her cheeks hurt from all the ridiculous grinning she’d been forced to do lately.

  “Good.” He rose to give her a short bow. “Then I shall do what you suggested and find your brother now.”

  She stood up to escort him to the drawing room door with a nod of her head. “Very good. Then I look forward to tomorrow.”

  “With all your heart?” he asked, leaning a fraction closer.

  Audrey didn’t know if she could bear one more odious kiss from the man. Instead, she lifted her hand and let it rest on his cheek. Unlike Griffin, Ellison’s skin was smooth as silk, and rather unpleasant to the touch.

  “With… all my heart,” she ground out.

  With a smile, Douglas left the room. Closing the door behind her, Audrey allowed a shudder to wrack her from head to toe.

  Sitting down in a chair, she covered her eyes with her hands. All these years she had tried to convince Noah that she was suited to more than just being a distraction in a ballroom, or picking up the gossip that often lead to the truth of a case. She’d pleaded with him to allow her more freedom and leeway in the cases they pursued.

  Well, she had her wish now, for better or for worse. Ellison was taken in by her act, of that she was certain. But just how far would she have to go to convince him to give her his trust?

  A sudden image of Griffin pressing her down into the bed as he ran his hands over her skin leapt into her mind.

  “Not that far,” she whispered as her stomach churned.

  Since she’d turned down his proposal, Griffin had been avoiding her. When he passed her in the corridors, he didn’t stop, but simply nodded a greeting as if they were strangers. The distance between them hurt, but if it kept him safe then it was something she was willing to endure.

  Still, at night she awoke with the sheets tangled around her, aching for his touch. And in the morning when she looked across the breakfast table to watch him read his paper, she wanted to scream that she had changed her mind. That she wanted to be his wife more than she’d ever wanted anything, even if he didn’t love her.

  Yet she didn’t do that. Instead, she choked down her tea while she prayed her assignment would come to an end soon. The longer she stayed in Griffin’s house, the harder it became to think about ever leaving.

  ***

  The carriage moved along the busy London streets, turning corners and stopping to allow other vehicles to move from time to time. Audrey sat across from her brother, watching him look over the latest report from Golding about their job and their prey. Next to her Griffin sat stiffly in his evening clothes in an effort not to let his body touch hers.

  Stifling a sigh, she followed his example and hedged away from him. While she could tell herself it was just to respect his space, she knew it was also because she wasn’t sure how she would react if his thigh brushed hers. She knew the contact would send a shot of heat and awareness through her. A longing she could do nothing about.

  Why couldn’t the carriage move faster? The last thing she wanted to do was sit beside a man who had barely acknowledged her existence for three days. Things between them could never be the same. How that knowledge pained her. She couldn’t believe he’d never kiss her again, hold her again. But asking him to do those things even just one more time wouldn’t be fair to either one of them.

  Noah tilted his head as he looked from her to Griffin. With an elaborate sigh, he rolled his eyes, then folded his papers, ripping them neatly in half. He’d burn them as soon as he had a free moment and a nearby fireplace. She was sure she heard him mutter something about “ridiculous”. When she dared to glance at Griffin from the corner of her eye, she saw he’d stiffened and was staring at his friend with mutiny in his eyes.

  “This… this ball is important,” she stammered, trying to find words to fill the distance between them. “We shall all have to be on high alert at all times.”

  “Yes,” Noah agreed. “Especially since Ellison has insisted he escorts you for the whole of the evening.”

  “Well, at least I get the carriage ride free of him.”

  She willed herself not to look at Griffin. Hannah had passed along that he’d been furious when he heard Audrey would be spending the entire evening at Ellison’s side. She was surprised he hadn’t confronted her directly yet. She’d waited for him to come to her room or corner her somewhere. In fact, she’d even put on her best nightgown.

  But he hadn’t come.

  Noah arched an eyebrow at his silent friend. “What do you think, Griffin? Will we be able to keep watch on her all night without being noticed?”

  Griffin slowly turned his face toward his friend, then glanced at Audrey from the corner of his eye. His gaze didn’t linger, but flitted over her like she meant nothing to him.

  “I daresay Audrey can take care of herself. That’s what you two have been trying to convince me for weeks, isn’t it?” He turned back to the window.

  Noah leaned back a fraction. “You’re saying you’re out of the plan?”

  “Yes.” He let out a long sigh. “I’m out. I’m not trained for this sort of espionage, am I? And my family has been put in enough danger as it is. You may continue to use my house for your headquarters, of course, and if my staff or I can assist you, we shall do our best. But as for the detail work…”

  Griffin paused to stare at her directly. “I’m not needed.”

  Audrey winced. With everything in her she wanted to throw herself into his arms and tell him how desperately he was needed, wanted and loved. But there was no point to that. He was angry, but he would get past it. For now, him staying out of her way was a blessing. Later she could comprehend what that meant for the two of them.

  “Whatever you say.” Noah’s voice was suddenly quiet and strangely gentle. It was almost as if he didn’t want to cause any more damage. “I’m sure you know what’s best for you.”

  “Yes,” Audrey whispered. “You’ve been very…”

  She struggled for a word. She wanted to say tender or loving, but knew that wouldn’t ease the tension between them.

  “You’ve been wonderful as a spy-in-training,” she finally said. “But it’s probably best to leave the rest of the mission up to me. Er, us.”

  Turning his head, Griffin met her eyes, the chocolate brown pools drawing her in. She felt herself lean a little closer, then straightened back up instead. She couldn’t be weak.

  The carriage came to a stop and a footman opened the door. Noah stepped out first, then held out his hand to help her down. Griffin sat very still for a moment.

  “Perhaps I won’t come in.” Griffin refused to lift his eyes to meet Audrey’s or Noah’s.

  “What?” Noah blinked his blue eyes in disbelief. “What are you talking about? This is the biggest event of the year!”

  “Yes,” Griffin growled, lifting his eyes suddenly. In the light of the lamps, Audrey noticed how bloodshot they were. “And I’m not up for it tonight. You don’t need me. Go and do your jobs. You can surely think of some kind of excuse, can’t you?”

  Noah opened his mouth as if to protest, but something in Griffin’s demeanor made Audrey leap in front of her brother to stop him.

  “Yes, Griffin,” she said softly, praying he would see her understanding her eyes. “These past few weeks have been trying for us all, most of all for you, as you aren’t accustomed to this lifestyle. Go home and try to rest.”

  “See here…” Noah began, but Audrey lifted her hand to cut him off.

  “We’ll make your excuses,” she promised, nodding as Griffin tapped on the carriage wall and dis
appeared back down the street.

  “What did you just do?” Noah turned her toward him. “Won’t it seem strange when our host doesn’t accompany us?”

  With a shrug of one shoulder, Audrey took her brother’s arm and began dragging him toward Burlington’s House’s open double doors. The circular courtyard brimmed with people and animals as coach after coach passed in and out of the wide gateway.

  “It doesn’t matter, Noah. It will ease Douglas’s mind not to have Griffin here. And didn’t you see his face?” She shivered as she remembered it, so empty and cold. Not at all like the man she knew and loved. He almost seemed… defeated. “He’s having a difficult time with… with all of this.”

  Noah frowned, but took her lead and continued to move toward the crowd in the foyer. “I suppose and yet I feel like I’m being locked out of something very important.”

  Audrey shrugged. She knew how her brother felt. After all, tonight she had been locked out of Griffin’s life. This time, for good.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “I must say, I’m glad your host decided to stay home,” Douglas Ellison said, as he spun Audrey around the crowded dance floor. “I do get tired of having to anticipate his interruptions all evening.”

  “Grif…” She could only pray Douglas hadn’t heard that slip. “Lord Berenger is harmless.”

  She bit back a bark of laughter as the comment left her lips. Griffin was anything but harmless. He was like a lion stalking through his territory and clearing out any interlopers. If Douglas Ellison couldn’t see that himself, he was a greater fool than she had ever imagined.

  Ellison seemed to consider her comment for a moment, then shrugged one shoulder. “You are here with me, aren’t you?”

  “Exactly.” She gave him a flirtatious look she only now understood the full power of. Before she made love with Griffin she hadn’t really grasped the control her femininity could hold over a man. She’d never understood the long stares from men, the way they leaned closer when a woman talked. Now she did and was forced to use those wiles on Douglas Ellison. A disgusting thought to say the least.

  She shook off her private musings to refocus on matters at hand. “We should talk about more pleasant things. Have you seen the Prince yet this evening?”

  Ellison’s gray eyes suddenly glittered with emotion. His thin smile turned to a frown.

  “Of course. Who can help but look at him as soon as he enters the room? Surrounded by people, dressed like a peacock on parade. The man is a buffoon.”

  “Hmmm.” She hoped to sound noncommittal as well as encouraging. “I suppose he does stand out. His guards alone make him a spectacle.”

  She smiled as she caught a glimpse of one of the guards. She and Noah had worked so hard to make sure the Prince and his guests had a large duty to protect them. The Prince had argued, but eventually had caved in to Lord Golding’s convincing words.

  “Guards?” Ellison scoffed. “As if they make any difference.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She slowly turned back to Ellison. His face was unreadable, stoic. Yet the way he’d made his statement, so certain, made her heart lodge in her throat. It was almost as if he already had a plan.

  “If someone really wants to assassinate a leader,” Ellison said with a cool smile. “A few guards won’t stop him. Nothing will.”

  Audrey shivered despite the heat of the crowded ballroom. What she saw in Ellison’s eyes was so angry, so full of hatred that she could hardly bear to look at it.

  “You sound very sure of that,” she managed to stammer out. “I wonder, though, why so many people seem to hate His Royal Highness?”

  Douglas’s eyes refocused on her as he gave her a condescending grin. Again she was happy most men assumed women didn’t understand politics. It gave her the upper hand with Ellison. After all, there was no harm giving away secrets to a person he didn’t believe could do anything with them.

  “Aside from his stupidity and his propensity to cling to the opinions of others like the weakling he is, many people were invested heavily in the war with France. And with Napoleon.”

  Drawing back slightly, Audrey observed Ellison’s face. He was entirely focused on the paunchy man across the room, his gray eyes boring into him with an intensity that was as frightening as it was unwavering.

  She batted her eyelashes in a pretend show of naivety. “I didn’t know anyone could profit from a war.”

  Again, he glanced back at her. “Well, people buy and sell commissions in the Army and Navy every day. And there are more nefarious businesses, as well. Those who trade arms and secrets with the enemy.”

  She found herself holding her breath and had to force herself to draw in air. Was he about to admit he was a traitor?

  “You sound as if you know this from personal experience.”

  She chose her words with great care. The last thing she wanted to do was frighten him away from the subject now that they were getting to the meat of the issue. Close to the whole reason she was in London in the first place.

  His pompous smile fell. “I don’t know if I’d go that far. I do have… associates who might have some dealings such as those.”

  “Really?” She tamped down her eagerness to demand a list of names. “I find it difficult to believe I might live and walk amongst men involved in such dangerous business.”

  Arching an eyebrow, he gave her an appraising stare. With a quick breath, she decided to take a chance and press further.

  “It’s a bit… thrilling,” she added, watching his pupils dilate with what she now knew to be desire. Her stomach lurched in response but she managed to keep the nausea at bay and give him a stunning smile. The opportunity to hear him say even one contact’s name was worth any price.

  “Truly?” His voice was full of sudden admiration. “You find it to be thrilling?”

  She bowed her head with a forced blush. “There is a certain adventure to it all.”

  His smiled widened. “I never thought you had it in you, Audrey. I must say, this is a side to you I’d never imagined, but I quite like it.”

  “I’d never dare tell anyone I felt that way.” Drawing a deep breath, she leaned forward. “Unless I truly trusted them.” She dropped her voice. “But my feelings about our Regent aren’t exactly tender, either.”

  She was pleased when Ellison’s eyes narrowed as he glanced around the room. “There are too many people here to discuss this,” he whispered. “If you were overheard you could be called a traitor and hung for treason. But would you accompany me to the gardens?”

  “Of course.” She was breathless not because of the deep feelings she had for the man beside her, but because she felt so close to the secrets she needed to unveil.

  As Douglas led her through the crowd on the floor and the parameter, Audrey scanned the room for her brother. She wanted to catch Noah’s eye so he’d know she was leaving so her brother could follow at a safe distance to hear whatever Ellison said. And save her if the man became dangerous in any way.

  But Douglas seemed determined to be alone with her as soon as possible. His grip on her arm tightened and he nearly knocked down several old women in his hurry to get through the veranda doors. Audrey hardly had a chance to look at half the room, let alone find and signal to her brother.

  The thought was troubling, but she couldn’t refuse now that she’d gone so far. Besides, she had handled Douglas and his advances before.

  “There’s no hurry, is there?” She pulled back against his arm. “We’ve all night to talk.”

  He slowed his pace with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry, my dear. I get carried away sometimes by your beauty.”

  “Thank you,” she ground out.

  At the beginning of the garden pathway oriental style lamps were lit, sticking up from large stakes thrust into the soft earth. It was a practical way to illuminate the trail, while giving respect to the Prince’s love for all things Asian.

  The garden was scattered with groups of people and pa
irs of couples, looking at the moon, admiring the well-tended lawns and hedges, or simply staring into each other’s eyes as they enjoyed a rare stolen moment alone. From time to time peals of laughter echoed around them.

  Audrey wasn’t afraid. After all, Ellison would never try anything untoward with her in front of such a large group of people. His need for social acceptance would rein in whatever lust he felt.

  But as they walked further and further from the house, into darker and darker territory on the massive lawn, her anxiety grew. Soon the voice of the other couples faded away, leaving behind only the occasional squeak of crickets.

  “Douglas, do we really need to stray so far from the house?”

  His grin was a quick and sinister one, flashed only for a moment before he continued on toward what looked like an abandoned gazebo on the far end of the garden.

  “If we’re to discuss treachery and danger, we must do it in darkness and out of the public eye, don’t you think?” he asked. “After all, it was you who said you wouldn’t want anyone to know you found that life a little thrilling.”

  “I suppose.” Her shoulders were trembling despite her shawl and the warmth of the summer night. “But I wouldn’t want anyone to walk in on us and have the wrong impression. We both have reputations, you know.”

  She hoped her reference to his place in the world would remind him to be careful, but he gave her another menacing smile instead.

  “You needn’t worry about that. No one will walk in on anything. They’re too busy admiring the wealth they find at the top of the path.” He lowered his voice as he continued, “It takes a different kind of person to go beyond the beginning of the road, don’t you think? Someone with the adventurous spirit you seem so enamored with.”