Secret Admirer

by Gail Sattler

  He had to take comfort in how far they’d come since then. She was now willingly sitting with him, alone, in a friendly, semiprivate atmosphere, although he wished it could have been from something more intimate than bumping into each other at the bookstore.

  “I’m actually glad to see you. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something. Do you mind?”

  Inwardly, he cringed. He had a bad feeling he knew what she was going to ask; only this time he couldn’t run away, since sitting together for coffee was his idea. He forced himself to smile. “No, go ahead.”

  She leaned closer across the table. Her eyes widened, and Todd immediately became lost in their depths. The mixture of olive green and brown in her hazel eyes always fascinated him, although up until now he would never have admitted it.

  “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but do you know if anyone at work has a crush on me?”

  His brain stalled. A little voice called for evasive maneuvers. “You mean, have I heard any of the guys talking?”

  She smiled. His heart went into overdrive. “Yes. I know you’re fairly new, but, well, you certainly must hear the men talk.”

  “I haven’t heard anyone say anything about you that isn’t work related, but I can try to listen if you want.”

  She reached toward him and rested her hand on his forearm. Her touch was gentle, even affectionate, although he knew his interpretation was probably only wishful thinking. Still, the warm contact made him hope he wouldn’t break out into a cold sweat.

  “That would be great. I know you think it’s a strange question, but I have to know.”

  He blinked to clear his mind. He didn’t think it was strange at all. What he did think strange was that no one else had managed to win her heart already. “Has somebody been making you nervous?”

  Shannon shook her head and withdrew her hand. He almost begged her to put it back. “No. Nothing like that.” She grinned and took a sip of her coffee, then spoke over the top of the cup. “Actually, someone is being very sweet. I just wish I knew who it was.”

  He opened his mouth, about to blurt out he was the one, but she started talking before he could formulate the words.

  “In a way, it reminds me of when I was a kid and Tommy Banks had a crush on me. We were seven years old, and he bought me a chocolate bar out of his allowance; but he ate it on the way to school. Instead he made me a bookmark. I haven’t received a special gift from a guy since, except for my birthday and Christmas, of course. But I still have the bookmark. He drew little red and purple hearts all over it. Do you remember Tommy?”

  “Can’t say that I do.” What stuck in his mind, though, was not the bookmark, but her wistful comment that over the years no one else had given her anything she considered special. He’d met a few of the boys and young men she’d gone out with. He’d openly insulted every one of them, although not to their faces. She’d been angry with him every time, but he did notice that soon after he told her what he thought of her various dates and boyfriends, she broke up with them, probably because he was right. She deserved better.

  But the important thing was that not one of them had given her anything she considered special that wasn’t also attached to an obligatory occasion. Since she thought receiving the notes and chocolate kisses was sweet, that was reason enough for him to put his own desires aside and keep giving them to her instead of revealing himself so soon.

  Before they crossed the line into dangerous territory, where being evasive might transcend into actual lying, Todd changed the subject to the upcoming twenty-fifth anniversary celebration of his church. Craig had told him Shannon would be attending both the open house on Saturday and the service on Sunday, since she’d grown up in that church. He always went to church Sunday morning, but he hadn’t made up his mind about the open house Saturday night until he heard she was going. His clothes were already picked out, and he’d even ironed the pants.

  He hadn’t realized how much time had passed until an announcement echoed over the speakers asking shoppers to take their purchases to the checkout because the store was closing in five minutes.

  Todd stood in line with Shannon so she could pay for her books. He didn’t feel the least bit contrite when she teased him that he should have waited with his own purchase, since he was now standing in line a second time. In a way he found it oddly satisfying that for once she was teasing him instead of the other way around.

  In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d enjoyed himself so much or felt so relaxed—once they stopped talking about work.

  Outside, he wished he could ask her to do something so they could spend more time together, but he couldn’t think of anything open at that hour on a weeknight except for the fast-food restaurants. They’d just spent the last two hours together over coffee and dessert, so she would think he was up to something if he suggested more food. Instead, he could only accompany her to her car, which was across the almost empty parking lot from his car.

  He watched as she inserted the key into the lock. The time they’d spent together was the closest thing to a date he’d ever had with Shannon. Every other time they’d been together outside work, they’d traded constant banter, even insults, and were always part of a threesome, with her brother, Craig, present.

  She swung the door open, tossed her purse and the bag containing the books onto the passenger seat, and started to step into the car. “I guess I’ll see you at work tomorrow. ’Bye, Todd.”

  Todd stepped closer as she bent more to get into the car. He didn’t know what they could do, but he didn’t want to part ways. “Shan! Wait!”

  At his words, Shannon retracted her foot, which had not yet touched the floor of the car, and backed up. “What?” she asked as she straightened. She obviously hadn’t known he had moved so close to the car, because when she turned around her eyes widened when she discovered they were now only inches apart.

  With the car behind her, Shannon couldn’t back up. Todd didn’t move. They were so close he could have simply lowered his head—and kissed her. He suddenly wanted to kiss her more than anything he’d ever wanted in his life.

  “Well? Did you want something?”

  “I. . .uh. . .” Todd’s brain backfired. He couldn’t do it. Not only would she not have expected such a thing from him, but they were in the middle of an almost deserted parking lot. He stood there with his mouth hanging open.

  Shannon giggled. “What’s the matter? Does calling me Shan instead of Shan-nooze when we’re out of work short-circuit your vocal chords?” She raised her hands, rested her palms on his chest, and gave him a gentle nudge backward. “While I appreciate your not calling me that anymore, you’re standing so close I can’t focus properly. Was there something you wanted to tell me?”

  He wanted to tell her he loved her. He shook his head. “It’s not important. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Todd waited while Shannon got into her car and drove away, not moving until she’d left the lot.

  He could hardly wait for morning and the start of a new day at work.

  ❧

  Todd walked slowly into the office and looked around. Since he was earlier than usual, none of the office staff had arrived, which was what he needed. He hurried to Shannon’s desk, picked up the note he’d left from the day before that was meant for her to read this morning and replaced it with a new one. He rammed the old one into his pocket, hurried into the lunchroom and began making a pot of coffee to be ready when everyone else arrived.

  Just as the last drop dripped into the pot, Todd heard footsteps in the doorway. He peeked over his shoulder, hoping it was Shannon, but it was only Gary.

  “Good morning, Todd. You’re in early.”

  “Yeah. I left a little earlier than usual, and traffic was light.”

  “You have good timing. You know I’ve given Bryan the day off. Rick called me on my cell—he’s sick and won’t be in. I have to go out for a meeting with a couple of new accounts in an hour. I want you to
pull one of the drivers in to help with the phones and reshuffle his route. I’ll see if I can get someone off the casual list to come in on short notice. Do you know where it is?”

  Todd glanced up at the clock. If he was to endure a testing period to see if he was worth his salary, today would be the day. He only hoped he’d learned enough in a month to meet Gary’s expectations. “I don’t know. Last I saw the list, Bryan had it. I don’t understand his filing system, but I can try to find it.”

  “Never mind. Shannon has a copy. I’ll use that one,” Gary said as he left the lunchroom.

  Todd poured his coffee, then froze, nearly overflowing it until he realized what he was doing.

  Gary was going to get the list from Shannon. But Shannon wasn’t in yet.

  That meant Gary was going to get into Shannon’s desk.

  He couldn’t stop his supervisor from looking for something he legitimately needed, but Todd had his own good reasons for not wanting Gary to open her top drawer. Maybe he would only go through the bottom drawer where Shannon kept her files and nowhere else.

  But Todd couldn’t take the chance.

  He left his mug on the counter and dashed across the lunchroom to the office. “Hey, Gary,” he said, trying his best to quell the panic and sound casual as he entered the main office area. “I think I know where it is. I’ll be right back.”

  Just as Gary straightened, Todd heard the thud of a drawer closing. Because he was looking at the front of the desk, he couldn’t tell which drawer Gary had been in.

  “It’s okay,” Gary said, holding a paper in his hand. “Shannon is very organized. I found it. Let’s get busy. I have to be out of here soon.”

  Todd swallowed hard and returned to the lunchroom for his coffee. He had to tell himself that since Gary’s expression had been neutral, he hadn’t seen the new note Todd had left for Shannon this morning. If Gary had opened the top drawer, the stark white paper with the red ribbon and red foil wrapping of the chocolate kiss would have been impossible to miss.

  The phone started ringing at the same time he set his mug on the counter. He handled the call quickly, then chose a driver to help him. While Gary made a few phone calls from his office, Todd called the foreman and talked to him about pulling the priority deliveries out of Bill’s truck and loading them into another. By the time Gary found a driver to replace Bill, Todd had everything under control. Or at least everything would be under control until the phones started ringing.

  Gary stood beside Todd at the counter, checked the changes he’d made to the routing, and nodded. “Looks good. I have to go. Call my cell if you need me, but everything looks fine.”

  Todd forced himself to smile. “Yeah. See you sometime after lunch.”

  Six

  Shannon gritted her teeth as she watched a couple of the ladies from the accounts department yakking incessantly while standing in front of the lunchroom counter. She didn’t want to be rude, but the kettle had boiled, and she could now make her tea. Or at least she could if she barged between them and elbowed them out of the way, which was almost what Todd had done to poor Faye the other day. Normally, she wouldn’t even consider being so rude, but Shannon wanted to get to her desk.

  Not that she wanted to get to work so fast. She wanted to open her drawer to see the new note of the day.

  Finally, she couldn’t stand it any longer. She walked forward and stepped between them to reach for the kettle, smiling politely while they stared at her in silence for interrupting them.

  She dunked and redunked her tea bag, wondering if it took this long every day or if she’d somehow picked a low-quality tea bag this morning.

  Even though the tea wasn’t as dark as she normally liked it, Shannon tossed the bag into the trash and walked to her desk as quickly as she could without spilling anything or making it look as if she was rushing. Todd had spilled his coffee the same day he’d barged in front of Faye, and she didn’t want to do the same. She had been impressed that he’d immediately wiped up his mess. Whenever the other dispatchers slopped coffee onto the floor, they let it dry, and the janitors got it when they washed the floor at night. Mostly, she didn’t want anyone to notice her.

  Shannon’s stomach fluttered as she opened the drawer. The same as every other day for over two weeks, a little white note, fastened with a red ribbon tied to a chocolate kiss, lay in the center of her pencil tray. Keeping the note low so no one could see what she was doing, Shannon pulled the ribbon off and set the kiss aside.

  Dearest Shannon,

  When I think of you I don’t know where to begin

  Your magical voice is like a sweet violin.

  My heart beats with joy at the sound of your laughter,

  And your happy smile fills me with joy ever after.

  Your Secret Admirer

  Shannon smiled. The note was tender and sweet and oddly flattering, even though the poetry itself hadn’t improved. Today, though, something was different, but she couldn’t quite figure out what it was.

  She tucked the note into the envelope containing the other notes, unwrapped the kiss, and popped it into her mouth. While she savored the rich chocolate, Shannon turned her head toward the opening for the lunchroom. Any second now, Todd would be walking through the doorway.

  She hadn’t told him about the notes, but he’d promised to keep his ears open to any conversation concerning her. Of course, it was too early to hear anything. Once he arrived, she would simply remind him.

  Instead of Todd, Faye walked into the office. Shannon found herself strangely disappointed.

  She couldn’t stop thinking about Todd. Not only had she spent the evening with him, she’d actually enjoyed herself. In many ways, he was the same old Todd she’d known since she was a kid. Yet it was the first time she’d talked to him as a single man and not as her brother’s annoying friend.

  Then, when they were leaving, he’d acted so strange. Todd always radiated confidence and control; yet he was at a loss for words. He’d even stammered. She didn’t know what was going through his mind, but with Todd Sanders, it could have been anything. He couldn’t have realized how charming his momentary lapse had been, but it showed her a side of him she didn’t know existed. At the time, she’d almost been inclined to give him a hug, but since it was Todd, she’d erased the thought from her mind.

  “Hi, Shan.”

  “Good morning, Faye. Is Todd in the lunchroom?”

  “Nope. Haven’t seen him yet.”

  Shannon checked her watch. Most days they arrived about the same time. Today she’d come in a few minutes early to be sure she could read the Secret Admirer’s note in private. With the clock now showing ten minutes after Todd’s usual arrival time, a niggling worry started to prod Shannon. She rose and unlocked the filing cabinet so she could get his phone number out of his personnel file; but just as she touched the folder with his name on it, the familiar sound of Todd’s laughter echoed from the dispatch office.

  With a quick push, she closed the drawer and engaged the locking button, then walked to the dispatch office. She found Todd and one of the drivers in the small room, talking with someone she’d never seen before through the window opening into the drivers’ area. Bryan, Rick, and Gary were nowhere to be seen.

  “Todd? What time did you get here? I wanted to talk to you.”

  “About what?” When he turned to face her, he was still winding down his laughter. His eyes were moist, and he swiped over them with his sleeve. “Did you need a form for Terry? He’s been here once before, about four months ago, Gary says.”

  “No, it isn’t that. I just wanted to remind you about what we talked about yesterday.”

  He grinned, and Faye’s words echoed through Shannon’s head. Todd truly was even more handsome when he smiled. In the throes of his laughter, his smile was almost magnetic. It was the same smile she remembered from her high school days, when she briefly had a mad crush on him; only now the years and alleged maturity added attractive little crow’s feet to the cor
ners of his big, brown eyes. “I haven’t forgotten. I’ll keep my ears open and let you know if something comes up.” With the other men standing behind Todd, neither one could see his face. Using that advantage, Todd placed his hand over his heart and gave her an exaggerated wink. “Promise.”

  Shannon opened her mouth, but no words came out. Her heart started pounding, just as it had back in those foolish high school days.

  Before she said something stupid, Shannon spun around and strode out of the room. She busied herself with her work, ignoring all around her until Faye appeared at the front of her desk to announce it was time for coffee break.

  They had barely sat down before Faye started talking. “Have you been in the dispatch area today? It’s nuts in there.”

  Shannon nodded. “I know. Where’s Gary? He should be in there with both Rick and Bryan off.”

  “Gary had a bunch of meetings lined up this morning, and he couldn’t cancel. Todd seems to be doing okay in there, considering.”

  “I noticed you checked on him fairly often.”

  Faye smiled. “Yeah. I got him coffee a couple of times. I thought he could use it. He said he really appreciated it.”

  Shannon sighed. “You’ve got it bad. Maybe there’s medication for that.”

  Faye grinned. “Get serious, Shan. Todd’s different from anyone else I’ve ever met.”

  Shannon nearly choked on her tea. “You can say that again.”

  Faye’s smile disappeared. “I don’t know what you have against him.”

  Shannon looked down into her mug, not able to face Faye as she spoke. “I already told you Todd is my brother’s friend. Let’s just say we haven’t always gotten along that great over the years. I guess I’m finding it a bit strange to see him so normal, for lack of a better word. I can’t help but expect this is a bad dream and I’m waiting for the punch line. Any moment, I feel as if I’m going to wake up, and he’ll do something to embarrass or insult me the way he did when we were kids. I know I shouldn’t feel that way. After all, it’s been over a month now, and he’s been nice to me and everything’s been fine.”