Eternal Hearts (A Darkness Within)

by Jennifer Turner

  Clint laughed. “I tried to pick one that was simple yet elegant. And I think I did rather well since I knew you’d hate whatever I brought you.”

  “At least it doesn’t have sequins or frilly things.” She poked at the fabric. “And you did pick the right color. Considering what you could have done to me…I guess I really shouldn’t complain.”

  “I even went with a nice two inch heel,” he said as he pulled a box from the bottom of the bag and held it out. “They match the dress.”

  She offered him her sweetest smile. “Great. So instead of looking like a hooker, I’ll look like Lolita, Barbie’s ethnic cousin.” She let the façade slip away as she shook her head. “Wouldn’t Christian rather talk to me as…me? What do my clothes really have to do with anything?”

  Clint’s face took on a stern countenance, the old vampire inside shining through. “It has to do with you showing him that you can do what he asks, which ties directly to your willingness to follow the rules. If you’ll go out of your comfort zone to wear the appropriate attire, then he’s more likely to believe you’ll do the same if faced with a more important choice.”

  She glared between him and the dress before settling firmly back on him. There was only one choice he could be referring to. “This dress has nothing to do with watching my family die. It has even less to do with the choice I made afterwards. I think I’ll just wear a t-shirt and jeans.”

  “It’s about the gesture!” When Clint’s fist cracked against his open palm, Toni instinctively jumped. “It’s about you doing exactly what the Lord of Chicago asks of you, whether you like it or not. This isn’t about your family, Toni. This isn’t about Oktober or Stryker. And this most certainly isn’t about what you want. This is about what you’re willing to do to prove to Christian that you’re serious, and that you didn’t crawl back in here just to get revenge.”

  “I didn’t crawl back!”

  “You didn’t? I don’t remember hearing about a formal letter of intent, penned by Toni Tutoro. I also don’t recall the Warrior Elder Councilor approaching Christian to properly address your petition for return.”

  Toni rolled her eyes. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

  He nodded. “It might be, but that’s the right way to do things. Don’t get me wrong, in the darkest parts of my unbeating heart, I’m absolutely tickled that you broke the rules. I’m as happy as a pig in shit that you went to Brick, your family, and somehow managed to worm your way into a meeting with Christian. I love it. But had you followed the proper channels there wouldn’t be a meeting…there wouldn’t be a test. If you’d followed the rules, you’d have gotten a handwritten letter from Christian accepting you back into city well before you even got here.”

  Toni tossed the dress and shoes on the couch. “How the hell am I supposed to know all that? Huh? Besides, where the hell would he send a letter, Clint? I didn’t have a fucking address. I didn’t have a fucking home!”

  Clint leaned forward, his hands fisted at his sides. “That’s my point, Toni. You’re four years old. You. Don’t. Get. It. I wish you’d just accept that. I wish you’d realize there’s more going on here than you can see.” He pointed at the couch. “I wish I could make you understand that dress is more than just a piece of fabric to Christian. It signifies you’ve grown up a little. It proves that you’ve learned from your mistakes and have better judgment than you did three years ago.”

  She knocked the hand he’d moved to point at her away, undaunted by the anger burning in his Ancient eyes. “My judgment is just fine, Clint.”

  He stepped back, his bitter laugh turning to a scowl. “Really?” He motioned to the disheveled bed. “Where was your self-proclaimed judgment while you were rolling around with a hired gun? Huh? Where was it when you were doing God knows what with Oktober’s best friend?”

  Toni couldn’t do anything but stare at Clint as his last words fully wrapped around her, his face seeming to mirror everything she suddenly felt. Anger. Hurt. Sorrow.

  He raked a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say it like that.”

  Everything went dim, fading into worn, washed out colors as Toni searched for the words. “You didn’t mean to say it like that, or you didn’t mean to say it because it’s not true?”

  “I…Toni, I’m so sorry…”

  When his voice took on a hollow, tinny texture and the room started to pulse and twist, she squeezed her eyes closed tight. “Don’t tell me how fucking sorry you are. Answer me!”

  “I didn’t mean to say it like that.”

  She leaned back against the couch as a weight like she’d never known crushed down on her. It felt as if the sun itself had burst back into the sky and forced the moon away.

  Hired gun. She stared down at the floor, too shaken to stop the tears. It made sense. She’d seen it all in his blood. The battles he’d fought, his bruised and broken body, the empty house, his detachment from everything.

  He killed people for money.

  Deep down, she could accept that. She didn’t like it, but she could work through it. Vampires killed, she’d done it herself. Granted, she done it for different reasons, but in the end someone was still dead.

  Oktober’s best friend. A strange, chilling calm raised her skin as she attempted to focus on Clint’s wavering image. “How do I know you aren’t lying?”

  “About what part?”

  “Oktober. How do I know you aren’t making it up? I know you don’t like Drake. You barely said anything to him at Grey’s, and if he gets anywhere near me you look at him like he’s poison. How do I know you aren’t just saying anything you can think of to keep me away from him?”

  Toni wanted Clint to look away, but he didn’t. He stared straight into her eyes without as much as a blink. “I’m not lying to you, Toni. I don’t gain anything from hurting you or trying to keep you away from Drake. You’re an adult. You’ll do with him whatever you please, but I’ve seen him with Oktober before. They’re at The Underground together all the time.”

  She felt the calm give way to an odd tingling sensation that washed over her entire body. She focused past Clint to stare at the messy bed. “We talked about Oktober last night. Drake said he didn’t know him. He said he only knew of him. I didn’t ask. I thought maybe some woman in his past was…I didn’t want to hurt him by asking.”

  “If Drake told you he didn’t know Oktober, then he lied. I talked to him when he brought you out of The Underground last night.”

  He’s not lying. Toni slid to her knees as pain exploded in her chest. “You know about what happened at The Underground?”

  He slowly nodded. “Drake bared his fangs at me when I went to touch you. I told him I’d take you home with me but he wouldn’t hear it. He was damn near out of control over what Oktober did to you. And as much as I hate to admit it…if I were a betting man, I’d say he didn’t know Oktober killed your family until I told him.”

  She looked up when Clint knelt down and folded her hands in his. “You told him about my family?”

  “I did. I was pissed when I saw him carrying you out. Look, while I hadn’t exactly planned on telling you like this, I had every intention of telling you about Drake before you met with Christian.” He kissed the back of her hands before he let go and cupped her face. “I’m sorry. I got angry and sometimes I’m no better than a Fledgling when it happens. But once that little bastard in your stomach gets riled…you know how hard it can be to make it stop.”

  She nodded. Of all the things she didn’t feel like she knew right now, that was something she still did. Clint would have never purposely tried to hurt her, and even he wasn’t perfect.

  Toni tipped her head back against the couch in an attempt to ignore the sharp ache in her chest. How could she have been so stupid? She’d given herself to Drake not more than an hour after he’d lied to her. She could deal with him being a killer, but not with him lying, especially when it came to Oktober.

  Unfortunately, that
one thought was all doubt needed to run rampant. Had Drake taken her down to The Underground so Oktober could get to her? What if he could make his blood lie to her? Everything she saw and felt could be a lie…

  Toni snapped back to the present when she felt Clint’s warm lips against her forehead. “I’m sorry, Toni. I suppose Drake’s a decent guy as long as he’s not out to kill you. But there’s no way I could’ve lived with myself if I didn’t tell you the truth. He and Oktober work for the same people. I’m sure you would’ve found out eventually, but I thought you should know before things went any further.”

  She stared up at him. “Wait. Oktober’s an assassin, too? You mean someone paid him to kill my family?”

  Confusion marked his face. “You didn’t know about Oktober?”

  “No.” She closed her eyes and tried to recall the awful video. “I thought…it seemed like he already knew me, or maybe Isabel. I never knew why he did it. I just…the note said Stryker sold him the address.” She opened her eyes as a new set of questions stormed through her mind. “Did Stryker pay him, Clint? Did she pay him to kill my family?”

  Clint began shaking his head before she’d even finished the first question. “I highly doubt Oktober would do a contract for Stryker. She’s not old enough to have anything to offer him, and it’s not like he needs money. Think of it like this, if we didn’t know each other, what could you possibly offer me to help you? I’m thousands of years older than you. There’s nothing you could do for me that I couldn’t either do myself of have one of my Servios do.” He paused for a moment, but then shook his head again. “No. There’s no way I’d believe Stryker was the one who paid, if someone even did. You could be right. Oktober might have seen Isabel walking down the street or out at a club and used Stryker to find out who she was and where she lived. That makes a lot more sense considering Stryker has a bunch of contacts in the club district.”

  “But that doesn’t make sense. Why would Oktober track Isabel down? What would she have to offer him? She lived at home. She was going to college. She was just human.”

  Clint rubbed a hand across his forehead. “It may have been the way she walked. It could have been the way she smelled. Hell, she might have reminded him of someone he knew two thousand years ago. It’s hard to explain, Toni. Ancients don’t see the world the way Fledglings do. My beast craves things yours doesn’t even know how to want yet.”

  Toni forced her tears back as she stood up. She couldn’t think about any of that right now. She didn’t have time to relive years’ worth of horrid memories, or for another emotional breakdown. Not when her ability to stay in the city depended on her meeting with Christian, which she still needed to get ready for.

  After giving Clint what she hoped was a strong smile, she kissed his cheek. “I appreciate you telling me everything, but I have to get ready for my meeting. Thanks for bringing me the dress.”

  She winced when his fingers dug deep into her shoulders. “Don’t do this, Toni. I know you and I know what you’re doing. Don’t push what I just told you aside and refuse to deal with it. You should talk to Drake. Maybe he has more answers. If nothing else, at least ask him why he didn’t tell you the truth. Give the man a chance to explain.”

  Toni wrenched free from Clint’s hold and narrowed her eyes on him. “Give him a chance to explain? He slept with me right after he told me he didn’t know Oktober. If you were me, how much explaining would you want to listen to right now? And just how many of his answers would you believe?”

  Clint’s nostrils flared right before the muscles in his jaw went to work. “Okay…that was a piece of information I could’ve easily lived without having verified.”

  “Then don’t tell me how I should or shouldn’t deal with this! I can’t afford to deal with this right now. I have a meeting I need to get ready for. A meeting I have to be calm for or I might not get to stay. And if I can’t stay here…then what the hell was this all for?”

  “I know how important staying in Chicago is to you, but you can’t refuse to deal with this.”

  “I can refuse to deal with anything I damn well please.” She walked over to the door, opened it, and then motioned towards the hallway. “What I need to do right now is take a shower, so I think this is a good time for you to leave.”

  “I’m sorry, Toni. I really am.” He hesitantly stepped through the doorway, but then turned around to look at her. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

  She offered him nothing more than a curt nod before she pushed the door closed. But the moment Clint was gone, the second she didn’t have anything else to focus on – the silent questions started. What if someone had hired Oktober to kill her family? What if the same person had hired Drake to kill her?

  Shivers ran the length of her body, but her mind wasn’t finished. What if Drake wasn’t any different than Oktober? What if it everything she’d felt from him was a lie? Some of his powers were amazing. What if he was an Ancient? Could he manipulate his blood to make her feel safe with him so she’d never suspect he was out to kill her?

  Toni closed her eyes and forced her thoughts away from Drake. She couldn’t think about him anymore. She had to get ready for her meeting with Christian. She had to do whatever she could to stay in Chicago.

  She needed to be home – even if it was only to die.

  ***

  Drake felt more lost than he ever had as he wandered down the sidewalk. With every step he took, he moved farther away from the woman he loved…and that wasn’t where he wanted to be.

  She doesn’t love you anymore. He already knew she didn’t. The blood flowing in his veins told him so. He felt the love, betrayal, and hate swirling inside her…because it was swirling in him, too.

  He also knew the exact moment Clint had told her about his profession. The second she learned he was nothing more than a murderer. Pain had twisted through her, tearing her apart, and he’d never hated himself more. He’d felt her slowly die inside him – and a part of him had died with her.

  Drake lowered his head and wished, if even for a little while, he could be normal. That just once he could love someone the way they deserved. And if anyone in the world ever deserved to be loved…it was Toni. She made him feel things he didn’t know he could anymore. And she’d given him something he’d never even dreamed of – hope. Hope that with her, he could become something better, maybe even something more.

  Blinded by regret, he walked faster, putting more space between him and Toni, even though that wasn’t what he wanted. What he wanted was to turn around and go back to her, if for no reason other than to tell her he was sorry for what he’d done.

  He’d been broken and beaten in a thousand different battles, but nothing compared to the pain he felt now. He’d killed hundreds of people, but never once had he felt so much remorse. She’d given herself to him freely, and he’d greedily accepted. He knew he should have turned her away…but he couldn’t. Her eyes, the way she touched him, she made him feel wanted.

  And just once he wanted to feel that way.

  You weren’t born to be wanted. Drake cringed when the colder side of his mind said what his mouth probably never would. He’d been warned that he’d forever be an outcast, but he’d never believed it until now.

  He stared down the street, watching all the people move about. The only thing he could do now was hope that none of his enemies learned about her.

  “What, you’re not even going to try to kill us? I mean, after all, it really is the only thing you’ve ever been good at.” Drake shook his head as Klesa’s words echoed in his mind. They’d hurt then, but they hurt even more now because she’d been right all along. No matter what he did, he’d never be anything more than a killer. No matter how hard he tried, nothing would ever change that fact.

  As he stepped into a bar on the west side of town, Drake knew that as much as it stung, his heart belonged to Toni…and always would. And in all honesty, he couldn’t really blame her for not wanting him.

  Right now, he didn�
�t even want him.

  Chapter 14

  When Toni stepped into the elevator leading up to Christian’s office, she leaned back against the wall and wished she’d spent more time playing with dolls and having tea parties when she was little instead of trying to be like her big brother. Because if she’d had more practice walking in heels – she could have taken the stairs.

  Stupid elevators. She inhaled a deep breath and tried to remain calm. She’d managed to shower and dress without crying, but when she’d gotten into the elevator at the hotel her streak came to an abrupt end. The stupid metal box held nothing but memories of Drake, and just being inside it made her hurt.

  It made her ache for him and hate him, all at the same time.

  Fortunately, this elevator was remarkably different. Instead of being decorated in rich burgundies and dark woods, this one was a cold shade of blue with silver and glass accents that made it feel impersonal, uncaring.

  As the floors slowly passed, Toni couldn’t stop her thoughts from wandering back to Drake, or finding even more questions. Was she just a conquest? She ground her teeth together as a vision of Drake and Oktober laughing flashed in her mind. She could almost see them sitting at a table in The Underground, tallying up their scores on a damp paper napkin.

  She aimed a bitter smile at the floor. How did the points work? Did Oktober only get one for killing her family, or did he get three? Did Drake get one for getting her to sleep with him, or one for every time she did? How many would Oktober earn for the bathroom incident? How many would Drake get for making her fall in love with an illusion?

  She glared up at the floor marker when the bell chimed. Although this elevator ride was quite a bit longer, when the doors opened…this time she wasn’t crying.

  This time – she was angry.

  She was pissed at Drake for lying. Furious that he’d acted like he cared, and even more enraged at herself for believing something that was obviously too good to be true.