Tiddas
Page 28
‘They’re kids, Nads. Anything you say will be exciting because you’re famous. They mightn’t have read your books, but you can be assured they know the TV series.’
Nadine only felt a little consoled.
‘Mum,’ Brit said in the car on the way to school. ‘I already know what my friends are going to ask you.’
Nadine was surprised. ‘Really?’
‘Yes,’ Brit nodded from the back seat.
‘Well, are you going to give me some clues?’ Nadine was happy for any assistance she could get.
‘They want to know what your all time bestest, most favourite book is,’ Brit said, much to Nadine’s relief. ‘And do you have to commit a crime to be able to write a crime novel?’
Ellen woke up to find a young art student in ripped jeans sitting on her couch. No shirt, no shoes, no hair on his chest at all. She smiled at him and he stood up, undoing the button on his pants, dropping them to the floor when he reached the bed. It hadn’t worked out with Craig but this fella wasn’t a rebound. Ellen wasn’t bitter or angry or disappointed. She was happy that she’d had three months with Craig, and that she had allowed herself to open her heart and her mind to a man and to a relationship. She and Craig were simply not suited.
Ellen now believed that at least she could have a long-term committed relationship with someone; she just had to find the right person. She knew it was possible, she had faith that it would happen; but it wasn’t going to happen by itself. She needed to be out there among it, she needed to ‘interview’ and ‘shortlist’ prospective partners, and that’s exactly what she was doing with the emerging artist she’d met at Veronica’s exhibition. When he emerged from between her legs, she’d be making plans to see him again, determined to find out what more they had in common.
‘NOOOOOOO!’ Xanthe’s wail was piercing.
Spencer dropped his steaming coffee cup into the kitchen sink. By the time he got to the bathroom his wife was sitting on the toilet, hunched over and sobbing. He’d never seen her so distressed.
‘No, no, no, no, no,’ she kept repeating over and over again.
Spencer knelt on the floor in front of her, placing his hands on the sides of her face, which was resting in her palms, her elbows on her knees. He didn’t know what to say. For all of his sensitivity, he wasn’t unlike other men who were helpless in such emotional moments. But he too was suffering at what he quickly realised was a miscarriage.
‘It’s not fair,’ Xanthe sobbed helplessly. ‘It’s just not fair.’
‘Shh. I know, princess, I know.’
Xanthe looked up, her heart full of melancholy, her eyes swollen and full of tears, her face full of disappointment.
‘It was our turn. Our baby, it was our baby.’
In Ryan Street Izzy dozed on the couch while Bila continued to breastfeed. It was midnight when Asher found his girls still up and the TV bright but muted. He looked around the flat at the chaos of baby clothes and a sink full of dishes. He kissed his woman on the head and walked to the bathroom. Izzy woke, groggy and tired. She was always tired these days; no energy for running, no time for reading, little time for catching up with domestics even. She heard Asher in the shower and thought back to when they used to shower together. They hadn’t done that for months, and she wondered if they’d ever do it again. They had hardly made love since Bila was born three months before. When she felt like it Asher was asleep, and when he felt like it she was bathing, feeding or playing with Bila. Once or twice when they both had felt like it, they looked at each other and agreed that sleep was more important.
While Asher had pretty much maintained his usual schedule at work, Izzy hadn’t gone back to work at all. Every time Bila smiled at her, she couldn’t imagine leaving her daughter for even a day, let alone days at a time. Tracey had tried strategising a show for working mothers, which Izzy was keen on, but for the next year at least she just wanted to watch her daughter grow, inch by inch, pound by pound – or by centimetre and kilo, as Asher would always remind her.
Although their intimacy in the bedroom had lessened, their commitment to each other and their daughter had reached new heights; whenever exhaustion translated into frustrations and short tempers, one reminded the other that all that mattered for now was their baby girl. Without exception, every near argument was avoided with the mention of Bila’s name. Above all else, their love for her flowed like the river.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Tiddas owes its creation to many people and organisations.
I had a flicker of an idea for a novel when I was in Mudgee in 2010 when I met Kerry Barling and Aleshia Lonsdale for the first time. They later helped me ‘research’ the town and read drafts for which I am grateful.
Creative Industries and the Oodgeroo Unit at QUT, along with the Copyright Agency Limited, provided me with the time and space to research and map out the original outline of the book in 2011.
I am a method writer and took my research to all the necessary venues. I’d like to acknowledge my ‘research assistants’ in Brisbane: Nadine McDonald-Dowd, Amanda Hayman, Jackie Huggins, Krissy Kneen, Josie Montano, Tracey Walker, Susan Johnson, Mel Kettle, Sidonie Carpenter, Janine Dunleavy, Sandra Phillips, Leesa Watego, Loretta Ryan and Annie Pappalardo. Kelly Roberts is a boy, but he helped too!
My loving Brisbane family, Kerry Kilner and Angela Gardner, provided both Izzy and I with a home in West End.
The Queensland Writers Centre and The Edge at the State Library of Queensland gave me space, moral support and lots of coffee while working on the final edits, and the librarians at Tara Anglican School for Girls gave me space as well as a constant supply of cakes.
For some technical, baby-related information my thanks go to Marianne Tome. And for just listening to me rant about writing and life generally – thank you Sonja Stewart, Belinda Duarte, Robynne Quiggin, Terri Janke, Trish Marasco, Pam Newton and Kerry Reed-Gilbert. You are my deadly tiddas.
To my writing buddy and tidda, Lisa Heidke – thank you for giving me refuge so that I could write the final draft, not to mention the daily support on everything life manages to dish up.
I bow with respect to my Simon and Schuster crew: Lou Johnson, Larissa Edwards, Roberta Ivers, Carol Warwick and all the team – with a big thanks to Liz Ansted for her invaluable bookclub notes and suggestions – who have worked passionately to help me share my story. You tiddas rock! Thanks, too, to Janet Hutchinson for her always wise and gently-does-it edit, and to Jessica Dettmann, for her eagle-eyed proofreading.
To Tara Wynne, you are the best agent – thank you!
Finally, to my beautiful mum, my sister Gisella and all my clan: thank you for just being you.
Anita Heiss
2014
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr Anita Heiss is the author of non-fiction, historical fiction, commercial women’s fiction, poetry, social commentary and travel articles. She is a regular guest at writers’ festivals and travels internationally performing her work and lecturing on Indigenous literature. She is an Indigenous Literacy Day Ambassador and a proud member of the Wiradjuri nation of central NSW. Anita is a role model for the National Aboriginal Sporting Chance Academy and an Advocate for the National Centre of Indigenous Excellence. She is an Adjunct Professor with Jumbunna Indigenous House of Learning, UTS and currently divides her time between writing, public speaking, MCing, and being a ‘creative disruptor’.
Anita was a finalist in the 2013 Australian of the Year Awards and in the 2012 Human Rights Awards. She has recently been listed in the Top 20 Women Shaking things up on Twitter. Find out more about Anita on her website at www.anitaheiss.com, on Twitter at @AnitaHeiss, on her Facebook page, and watch her 2013 presentation at TEDxBrisbane: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1f8ew23tLl0
Cover design by Christabella Designs
Cover photograph by Shutterstock
Author photograph by Amanda James
authors.simonandschuster.com/Anita-Heiss
THE VIXENS’ BOOKCLUB LIST
In Tiddas, the main characters Izzy, Veronica, Xanthe, Nadine and Ellen discuss a diverse list of books by Australian authors at meetings of their monthly bookclub. You may like to read them, too:
Legacy, Larissa Behrendt
The Old School, P.M. Newton
Butterfly Song, Terri Janke
The Boundary, Nicole Watson
Aunty Rita, Rita and Jackie Huggins
Triptych: an erotic adventure, Krissy Kneen
Mullumbimby, Melissa Lucashenko
My Hundred Lovers, Susan Johnson
The Tall Man, Chloe Hooper
If you would like to explore other titles by Australian authors, Anita’s Black Book Challenge at www.anitaheiss.wordpress.com/2013/12/03/anitas-black-book-challenge-2/ offers 99 titles by Aboriginal authors, covering children’s picture books and fiction, young adult, fiction, non-fiction, memoir, autobiography and biography, drama, poetry and anthologies.
Happy reading!
BOOK CLUB QUESTIONS
1. A group of ‘tiddas’ is a group of good female friends who may or may not be blood related. The women in this story have a shared history. What other qualities and attributes do you think are important to a friendship?
2. Izzy finds herself in an unexpected situation when she discovers she’s pregnant. Many women in society today who are focussed on their careers would have made a different decision. What do you think Izzy’s story would be like now if she’d chosen not to have the baby? How would it be different?
3. Veronica, a devoted wife and mother, has her life turned upside down when she gets divorced and her sons leave the nest. Her story is of a strong woman who, after a time of immense grief, rediscovers her sense of self and recreates her identity. If you could create a new identity for yourself, what would it be?
4. Xanthe is desperate for a baby and many women would relate to her journey, whether it’s through her experience of trying for a baby, unexplained infertility, exploring the possibility of IVF and even miscarriage. Can you relate to Xanthe’s story, or part of it?
5. Nadine struggles with addiction, which affects her life, her family and her friends. Each of the other characters coped with and dealt with her addiction in a different way. Which character could you most relate to in their reaction to Nadine’s troubles?
6. Ellen loves her life and enjoys being single, footloose and fancy free. How does this affect the way the other characters treat her?
7. The New South Wales town of Mudgee is featured in the novel as a place where the women attended high school. Have you ever visited Mudgee? What can you share of your experience?
8. The Vixens choose a diverse range of quality Australian literature for their bookclub. Have you chosen any books by Indigenous authors for your own bookclub? If you are interested, please feel free to peruse the list of books discussed by the Vixens and other quality Indigenous titles in Anita’s Black Book Challenge.
9. By the end of the novel, which character do you think has grown the most?
10. Each of the five characters has a very different personality and life. Who do you relate to most and why?
11. Tiddas covers a range of controversial subject matter. Are these issues and themes ones that you would discuss with your friends and ‘tiddas’? Or are these topics still taboo?
ALSO BY ANITA HEISS
Fiction
Not Meeting Mr Right (2007)
Avoiding Mr Right (2008)
Manhattan Dreaming (2010)
Paris Dreaming (2011)
The Tightening Grip,
written with the students of St Laurence’s College, Brisbane (2012)
Nonfiction
Sacred Cows (1996)
Dhuluu-Yala: Publishing Indigenous Literature (2003)
I’m Not Racist, But – (2007)
Am I Black Enough For You? (2012)
Young adult and kids
Who Am I? The Diary of Mary Talence (2001)
Yirra and Her Deadly Dog, Demon,
written with the students of La Perouse Public School (2007)
Demon Guards the School Yard,
written with the students of La Perouse Public School (2011)
Poetry
Token Koori (1998)
Anthology (ed)
Macquarie PEN Anthology of Aboriginal Literature,
edited with Peter Minter (2008)
Life in Gadigal Country (2002)
TIDDAS
First published in Australia in 2014 by
Simon & Schuster (Australia) Pty Limited
Suite 19A, Level 1, 450 Miller Street, Cammeray, NSW 2062
This edition published in 2015
www.SimonandSchuster.com.au
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© Anita Heiss 2014
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission of the publisher.
National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry
Author: Heiss, Anita, 1968– author.
Title: Tiddas/Anita Heiss.
ISBN: 9781922052261 (paperback)
ISBN: 9781922052285 (ebook)
Subjects: Female Friendship – Fiction. Women – Australia – Fiction. Friendship – Australia – Fiction. Friendship – Fiction. Secrets – Fiction. Australian Fiction.
Dewey Number:A823.3
Cover design: Christabella Designs
Cover image: Firelia/Shutterstock
Internal design and typesetting: Midland Typesetters, Australia
The paper used to produce this book is a natural, recyclable product made from wood grown in sustainable plantation forests. The manufacturing processes conform to the environmental regulations in the country of origin.
ISBN 978-1-9220-5228-5 (eBook)