The Perfect Mess

by K. Sterling

  “Hey, Cassandra!” He said brightly. “Did you do this?” He asked as he held up the bottle and she winked as she waved a card at him.

  “Silly me! I left the card in my car,” she said as she stepped close and slipped it into the bag. “I knocked but you didn’t answer,” Cassandra purred and the weight in Landon’s stomach became heavier. He did his best to appear surprised or confused then nodded.

  “I must have missed you, I had my headphones on,” he lied and she waved dismissively.

  “That’s fine! Were you working out?” She asked and this time, Landon was honestly confused.

  “Working out?” He asked and she pointed at his chest and Landon frowned as he looked down and saw that his shirt was clinging to his skin.

  “You look like you’ve been sweating,” she murmured as her finger traced the groove between his pecs and Landon flinched.

  “Right. I must have got carried away,” he said as he leaned back and hugged the bag to his chest and she looked at Landon expectantly. “With the music,” Landon mumbled and she laughed.

  “You were dancing? I have to see this,” she insisted and Landon shook his head quickly.

  “I’m a lousy dancer,” he said a little too loudly and she rolled her eyes. “Really. And I wasn’t really dancing. I just got carried away,” he repeated. “So, what brings you by?” Landon asked and Cassandra bit her lip as she leaned close and stared up at Landon.

  “I was hoping that you might invite me in for a drink. I’d love to get to know you better, Landon,” she murmured softly and he swallowed loudly.

  “You want to get to know me better?” His voice cracked and she nodded.

  “I feel like I know so much about you from your paperwork and the time I’ve spent in your apartment but we’ve never really talked,” she said and Landon frowned.

  “What do you want to know?” He asked and she shrugged.

  “All kinds of things!” She said as her fingers twirled a lock of her hair. “I don’t even know what you’re doing after you sell this place. You never mentioned being in the market for a new place. Do you have another place? Are you moving in with a girlfriend?” Her eyes grew wide as she said “girlfriend” very slowly and Landon shook his head.

  “No. I’m moving to California,” he said and she deflated as her lips pushed into a pout.

  “That’s terrible! I should have known that I’d find Mr. Perfect just as he was about to leave,” she complained and Landon cringed.

  “Right. Actually…” he didn’t get to explain before she shrugged again and tapped the bottle with her finger.

  “I don’t suppose you would be interested in something casual…before you left,” she said and Landon heard a bark of laughter from inside the apartment. Cassandra’s mouth fell open and she jumped back. Landon winced as he tilted his head forward.

  “I’m really flattered, Cassandra,” he whispered loudly. “But I’m gay.” Landon gave her an apologetic grin and forbid himself to laugh as her face turned red. “And my boyfriend might object,” he added and Cassandra nodded as she slowly backed away.

  “I am so sorry! I had no idea,” she said loudly and Landon held his hands up soothingly.

  “It’s fine,” he insisted and she bit her lip before she looked back to see how much further she had to go before she could escape into the elevator.

  “I just…” She licked her lips nervously. “You don’t seem…gay,” she whispered and Landon laughed.

  “I promise, I am,” he said. “You can ask my boyfriend, if you don’t believe me.” Landon knew it was cruel but he’d tried being subtle and she had been stubbornly forward. Cassandra shook her head.

  “No, I’m good,” she said as she pushed the button fifty times. “Enjoy the champagne and I’ll call you on Monday to work out the details,” she said then sighed in relief when the doors opened.

  Cassandra waved as she dashed into the elevator and Landon waved back absently then turned and walked back into his apartment. He examined the bottle before setting it on the counter.

  “She seems lovely,” Ben teased as Landon opened the card. Landon glared at Ben before he read.

  Congratulations! They made an offer. They’re buying your apartment at your asking price! I’ve been waiting for your place to sell so you wouldn’t be a client anymore and I could ask you out. Let’s celebrate!

  Cassandra

  “Oh, shit,” Landon mumbled as the card slipped from his fingers. Ben sat up and jumped to his feet.

  “What’s wrong?” He asked as he went to Landon.

  “My apartment. They’re buying it,” he said as he looked up at Ben. Ben stopped and his arms fell at his sides as he pulled in a steadying breath. It should have been good news but Landon felt like he was sinking. He reached for Ben and he gasped past the tightness in his chest as Ben’s arms locked around him. “We’re not going to panic, right?” Landon asked shakily and he felt Ben nod.

  “No.” It was hoarse and weak. “We still have time,” he murmured as his hands pressed against Landon’s back. Landon shut his eyes and begged his stomach to unclench and his nerves to settle. Five weeks. The last month had gone by so quickly and Landon knew the next five weeks would go just as fast.

  Chapter 17

  Landon didn’t know why he even bothered. Just about every sketch included Ben. He was holding a bottle of wine, a child version of him was building a rocket out of pots and pans and he was wearing a unicorn costume and scaring monsters from under children’s beds. Landon had three weeks left, it was probably time for him to cut back on his work and spend the little time he had left with Ben. God, he hated the idea. Part of him thought that if he just kept working and pretending he wasn’t going, they wouldn't have to deal with it.

  He looked at the couch and Ben was reading a biography about Mozart. His square, wire framed glasses always made Landon a little restless. They looked so refined and elegant. Landon wanted to rip them off and turn Ben into something more primitive and unrestrained. But he was supposed to be working and Ben looked so relaxed. It would be wrong to ruin the peaceful atmosphere. Wouldn’t it? Landon bit his lip and tapped his pencil against the desktop.

  “We both know you’re not getting any work done. Why don’t you come over here?” Ben murmured as he flipped a page and Landon dropped his pencil and pushed away from his desk.

  “What gave me away?” He asked as he lowered his body over Ben’s.

  “You kept sighing and it was getting to be a bit pitiful,” Ben teased. Landon plucked Ben’s glasses from his face and placed them on the coffee table before pushing his shirt up his chest. Ben sat up and let Landon pull the shirt over his head. “I don’t think having a couch in your office is a very good idea,” Ben murmured as Landon attacked his lips.

  He still had a weakness for Ben’s lips. Their lush fullness drove Landon crazy and he wondered why he never had a thing for lips before. Or why he felt like he’d always have a thing for lips in the future. Something shifted in his chest and he knew that any pair of lips would be wrong if they weren’t Ben’s.

  Landon shook his head internally as he freed their erections and pressed them together, marveling in the heat and hardness of their flesh as well as the difference in skin tones. Maybe it was the artist in him, but he loved the contrast and the way his skin looked like it was outlined at times when it was against Ben’s. He loved the differences in their skin color but it had taken some time for him to get over the awareness he felt of the attention they drew as an inter-racial couple. In the beginning, he had been almost hyper aware when they were out together. He’d asked Ben if he noticed that they received a lot of stares and Ben had shrugged it off and said that as a black man, he was used to the extra scrutiny. Landon hadn’t known how to respond to that. He hated that he didn’t doubt Ben and wished that there was something he could say to compensate or apologize.

  You didn’t make the world this way and you can only change so much. Just k
eep loving him for who he is, he decided. He knew early on that he loved Ben. He might have fallen in love with him when he first saw his name in his phone. Landon wasn’t sure but he wasn’t going to tell Ben. It would only make everything harder.

  He shook his head again. Don’t think about that. Think about how hard this is, he instructed as he stroked their cocks together. Landon leaned forward and sucked on Ben’s lip as he stretched and opened the table drawer by the couch and grabbed a bottle of lube. He quickly slicked it over Ben’s length before slipping out of his shorts. Ben groaned as he shifted his hips and watched as Landon slowly took his length deep into the clenching heat of his ass.

  “I love the way you ride my cock,” Ben whispered as his hand wrapped around Landon’s length and began to stroke. There was that word again. Love. It made him nervous. He dreaded hearing it from Ben. Make it so he can’t talk, Landon decided and he grinned as he gripped tighter and bounced faster. He reached back and squeezed Ben’s sack, causing him to hiss and undulate beneath Landon.

  “I need you to fill my ass with your come,” Landon urged as he rode Ben hard. The air was filled with the sound of his ass slapping against Ben’s hips and he knew he wasn’t going to last long.

  “Come for me,” Ben commanded and Landon shut his eyes as Ben’s hand pulled at his erection. He let his jaw fall as pressure swirled and pushed into his balls and up the length of his shaft. Pleasure and warmth flooded his groin as he ground on Ben’s cock. His nerves flickered and tightened and he shuddered as pleasure exploded, sending currents of heat through him as come poured from the head of his cock in thick ribbons on Ben’s chest and stomach. Once again, Landon was mesmerized by the contrast. He was pulled from his delirious reverie as Ben’s hand closed around his. “Feed it to me,” he said as he pushed Landon’s fingers through the puddles of come on his skin. Landon nodded drunkenly as he gathered the come with his fingers then pushed them into Ben’s mouth. Ben moaned as he sucked and licked Landon’s fingers clean and Landon was helpless to stop his mouth from covering Ben’s. He growled as he chased the taste of his come through Ben’s mouth with his tongue and he felt Ben’s hands claw at his body before he convulsed beneath him. A rush of heat filled Landon’s passage and Ben writhed and bucked. Landon shivered as a soft tremor of pleasure spilled through him. He was hugged tight to Ben’s chest and as he felt Ben thrust deep as the last of the come pulsed from his length into Landon’s ass.

  Ben’s hands swept tenderly over Landon’s back as they struggled to catch their breath and Landon sensed heavy words filling Ben’s mouth. He nipped at Ben’s lips as he pushed himself upright.

  “I think this couch is perfect in here,” he murmured as he carefully slid free from Ben. “But we’d be much more comfortable in bed,” Landon said as he stood and Ben frowned up at him.

  “It’s a bit early to be going to bed,” he said as he sat up and Landon smiled over his shoulder.

  “I wasn’t planning on sleeping,” he said and he heard a soft laugh as Ben followed.

  Chapter 18

  There was a soft knock at the door and Landon grinned as he pushed away from the desk and dashed into the hall. It was a little early but he knew it was Ben. He felt a tremor of anticipation and loved that he still felt nervous and excited when he knew that he was going to see Ben. He pulled open the door and there was a flutter in his chest when Ben grinned as he leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to Landon’s lips. Landon grumbled at the bags Ben clutched against his chest that got in the way as he tried to get closer.

  “What’s all of this?” He asked as he stepped back and waved him in.

  “I decided it was time I made you my mama’s jerk chicken and plantains,” Ben said as he set the bags on the counter and Landon hummed as he followed.

  “That sounds delicious,” he said as he peeked in one of the bags. “This is going to be spicy, isn’t it?” Landon asked as he took out the scotch bonnet peppers and Ben laughed as he took them.

  “Definitely. I won’t marinade the chicken too long though. I don’t want to hurt your delicate white palate,” Ben teased and Landon snorted.

  “I can handle a lot of heat but I’m not stupid enough to pretend I’m not wary of those,” he said and Ben nodded.

  “I’ll make it the way mama did when we were kids,” he winked as he passed Landon a cold bottle of wine. “Open this while I get to work,” Ben ordered and Landon saluted jauntily as he leaned against the counter. He pulled out the bottle opener as he watched Ben prepare and lay out all of the ingredients. Landon loved watching Ben cook. He was always organized and precise, like a surgeon.

  “Can I help with anything else?” He asked as he poured and Ben shook his head as he measured the coriander.

  “I’ve got this. You can pick some music for us to listen to,” he murmured as he counted allspice berries.

  An hour and half way through a second bottle of wine later, Landon wasn’t sure what was more appetizing; the smells coming from the other side of the counter or Ben in a tight blue polo and khaki shorts.

  “I think you’re doing this wrong,” Landon said as he rested his cheek in his hand and leaned across the counter. Ben looked over his shoulder and gave Landon a bland look.

  “You think that I’m doing this wrong?” He asked in disbelief and shook his head as he turned the heat on under a pan. Landon nodded slowly and his lips curved into a drowsy grin.

  “Your family’s from Jamaica, right?” He asked and Ben nodded as he arranged the plantains and Landon hummed thoughtfully. “Well, it’s hot in Jamaica and I think it’s reasonable to assume they wore far fewer clothes when they cooked,” Landon said and Ben snorted as he looked over the range at Landon.

  “Frying food when you’re naked is a terrible idea, no matter where you live,” Ben replied and Landon sighed in disappointment before taking a long sip of wine. “And not conducive to the cooking process in general,” he added and Landon silently agreed. He wouldn’t have been able to leave Ben alone for as long if he was naked.

  Landon was about out of good behavior when Ben set the fried plantains, chicken and rice and peas on the table. Landon poured more wine as Ben prepared their plates. He kissed Ben on the cheek before he cut off a bite of chicken. He groaned in delight as he chewed then coughed softly as the heat got more intense. He narrowed his eyes as Ben watched him. Landon swallowed and nodded as he scooped a forkful of the rice and beans.

  “That’s really hot but delicious,” Landon declared before chewing again. He washed it all down with wine as he cut off another large bite of chicken. He already knew he’d be eating a second helping, even if it killed him. Ben took a bite then shook his head.

  “I’ll never be able to get it right,” he complained and Landon looked at him as if he’d bit the head off an actual chicken and Ben shrugged. “It’s good but it’ll never be as good as mama’s,” Ben explained and Landon nodded in understanding. He popped a piece of plantain into his mouth then waved between them.

  “Do you think she’d approve?” He asked and Ben was still before he wiped his mouth with his napkin and nodded.

  “Yes,” he said and his eyes misted as he stared across the room. I know exactly what she’d say too,” Ben murmured and Landon set his fork down as he waited. “My grandmother insisted on speaking ‘The Queen’s English’ and my mother was always very proper but she would say something like, ‘Listen to me, Bennet. If you want to keep this boy, you had better cook him some peas and rice and curried goat. You have to show him you’re serious.’ and then she’d show you every single one of my report cards.” Ben laughed softly as he reached for his wine glass. Landon intercepted his hand and pulled it to his lips.

  “I couldn’t think of anything that I’d love more than to look at them with her,” he murmured and he knew Ben was struggling to maintain his composure when he nodded quickly as he squeezed Landon’s hand and drained his glass. “I’m sure you miss her all the time. I’ve never lost anyone
to cancer, I can’t imagine how hard that was.” Landon poured more wine and gave Ben a moment to get a handle on his emotions. Ben cleared his throat and stared into his wine.

  “I know it might seem weird that Michelle and I had to find apartments right across from each other but she’s all I have left of my family. We were always close but I promised my mother that I’d look out for her. And she reminds me so much of her, it’s like having little moments with my mom every day when Michelle says something she used to say or gives me one of her looks,” Ben explained and Landon shook his head.

  “It’s not weird at all. Lindsey and I are really close. I don’t know if I could handle having her across the hall but I feel off if I haven’t seen her for a few days. Deciding to move so far away from her was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make,” Landon said and Ben swallowed hard as he raised his glass to his lips.

  “I don’t think I could do that,” Ben said softly and Landon held his breath as pain bloomed and spread through his chest. “I’ve been on her to get tested for the BRCA genes but she won’t. I’d be afraid that she would keep putting off routine exams and would never get tested if I moved away. And I’d feel like I lost half of myself if I couldn’t see her everyday. I can’t imagine what I’d do if I lost her forever,” he said and Landon hated the ripple of fear he felt as he wondered how much of himself we would be losing when he left. It was bad enough when he was leaving Lindsey and Molly, now Ben was taking up so much space inside of him, he’d have to deal with missing his family and feeling hollow. He curved his hand around Ben’s neck as he leaned close. He didn’t bother to keep his breath from shuddering as he filled his lungs and he knew his lips trembled as they touched Ben’s but he didn’t want to talk about his leaving.