CORAL (A Romance Trilogy, Book 1)

by Delaney, Clair

  “That’s tasty.” I exclaim, handing it back to him and wondering if hair of the dog will actually make me feel a little better.

  “Would you like one?” he asks amusingly. I can’t. I have George tonight, I’ll need a clear head – hopefully I’ll have one by then.

  “I can't.” I tell him quietly.

  “Why?” He looks confused.

  “Because I have...” I stop, wondering to myself if I should tell him, then I change my mind.

  “What is it Coral?” He’s intense again.

  “I have an appointment tonight.” I remind him.

  “So you can't drink?” He clarifies.

  “No.” I whisper.

  “No alcohol?” I shake my head. “What would you like?”

  “A large glass of water with lots of lemon please.” I reply.

  “Still?” he questions.

  “Yes please.” I smile tentatively.

  Tristan places my order and hands my glass to me, we are asked if we are eating and when we say we are, we are told to help ourselves to whatever table we want. Tristan leads us to a table by a large window overlooking a beautiful garden.

  “This ok?” he asks. I nod in agreement. As I side step to my seat, Tristan is instantly there pulling it out for me. Why does this suddenly feel like a date? I sit down, then I watch him walk around the table, remove his jacket and sling it over the back of his chair, then he sits down.

  I place my bag on the floor and pick up a menu, my stomach rumbling at me. Tristan takes a couple of long gulps of his beer and picks up his menu. I decide it’s probably best to get it out of the way now, what I want to say to him, before I eat. Taking three long gulps of water, I mentally prepare myself.

  “Tristan, I have something I need to say to you.”

  “And I to you,” he adds, this stuns me into silence. “But by all means continue,” he smiles coyly. “Ladies before gentleman,” he adds.

  He looks down at his menu again. But I think he can tell I’m staring at him, waiting for him to look at me, when he does, he instantly places his menu down and leans back in his chair, giving me his full attention. Shit, now I don’t know what to say!

  “You really like me don’t you?” I ask mournfully.

  “I think that’s a given.” Tristan snorts.

  “You really shouldn’t.” I say staring at the ice swirling in my glass.

  “Why?” His voice is croaky again; I think I detect a hint of pain.

  “Because I don’t do this Tristan,” I say waving my hand in the air.

  “Well good, neither do I.” I look up and narrow my eyes at him. How the hell is this guy single?

  “Are you seeing anyone?” I question.

  “You’ve already asked me this. No, I’m not seeing anyone.” His answer is immediate, his look screams honesty but I just don’t get it. So I decide to test him.

  “I don’t believe you,” I choke. “You’re smart, rich, unbelievably handsome, a real catch. And you’re telling me you’re single?”

  “Why is that so hard to believe?” He asks.

  “B-because you...well, you just seem so…so lovely and normal. Somebody must have caught your eye? You must have liked someone, surely?” I blurt in disbelief.

  “I’ve had relationships in the past, they didn’t work out,” he says artlessly, but I detect something in his voice.

  “Why didn’t they?” Tristan pulls his gaze away from me and seems to withdraw into himself and I know I’ve hit a nerve. But before I can say anything he answers me.

  “I…I had a very different upbringing Coral, I don't think or act like my generation should. I...” he stops and shakes his head.

  “You seem perfectly normal to me.” I offer.

  “There’s that word again,” he groans. What? Oh! It dawns on me.

  “Normal?” I hiss feeling instantly incensed.

  “Yes.” He answers frustratingly.

  I can’t help the sarcastic laugh that bursts out of me. “Believe me Tristan, in my world, normal is wonderful.”

  “That maybe so but...this is irrelevant,” he snaps running a hand through his hair.

  I take a deep breath to calm myself. “Tristan.” He looks up at me. “Are you trying to tell me they didn’t get you because you were what...different? Didn’t act like other guys your age, what? Tell me,” I plead, even though I don’t know how it got to this, and I have no idea why I’m asking.

  “Apparently I’m...it doesn’t matter,” he snaps again in frustration. “My past relationships are irrelevant.” I relent and sit back in my chair, sulking. “And what about you Coral?” His sharp-eyed look takes me by surprise. I immediately feel defensive, but I know he deserves an answer.

  “I don’t date...at all.” I say feeling embarrassed.

  “What, no-one’s caught your eye?” He throws my words back at me, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Yes, you have! You lovely sexy normal man, you should steer clear of a freak like me!

  “Tristan I...” I stop and stare at the table trying to grasp the right words. “You deserve better than me,” I mumble almost to myself, I look up my eyes pleading with him. “I...I don’t even know if I’m capable of anything anymore...I’m broken Tristan, a freaky fuck up. You’d stay away from me, if you knew what’s good for you.”

  “I think that’s my decision to make, don’t you?” He retaliates.

  “Tristan!” I glare back at him. “I’m telling you this so you’ll drop it,” I hiss, my jaw clenching all by itself, my stomach twisting into knots.

  “So you’re saying, stop before we’ve even got started?” He clarifies.

  How perceptive of him. “Yes.”

  “No.” He shakes his head at me. Damn it!

  “Look, I’m not like other people ok, I don’t run right, I never will, and you seem...” I stop for a moment and take several gulps of my water, really un-ladylike, but totally necessary, and continue. “You...you’re...well, lovely and gentlemanly and sweet and attentive. You deserve someone who is capable of giving all of that back to you…I...I’m not girlfriend material.” I say my voice quivering on me.

  For the first time in twenty five years I feel like I want to cry – I’m suddenly overtaken by this strange devastating feeling that’s spreading through me, it feels like grief. How odd? It feels like I’m about to let something go that’s more important to me than I could ever imagine?

  I shake my head not understanding it. I don’t know this person!

  “I just want to be straight up and honest with you Tristan, I don’t want to start something that’s going to have us both hurting in the end.” He goes to interrupt me, but I have to keep going. I have to let him know. “Believe me, you really don’t want to be with me, especially with the fact that you’re soon to be my boss.” He glares back at me, shaking his head in disagreement.

  I roll my eyes at him. “Ok, let’s say we date, and it doesn’t work for you or vice-versa. Somebody gets hurt and then where does that leave us, apart from a really uncomfortable and awkward working relationship.” I take another drink then stare down at my knotted fingers. “No matter how hard you try Tristan...you and I...it’s just not possible.” I sigh heavily feeling weirdly satisfied that what I have said covers everything, and above all I’ve been open and honest with him, honesty is huge for me.

  I wait with bated breath for him to say something, but he’s just sat there, staring at me, running his forefinger back and forth across his luscious lips. Please stop doing that!

  I hastily pick up my menu squirming in my seat as I do, and start to read through its offerings.

  “Coral.” I look up over my menu at him. Tristan sighs heavily and stares down at his beer for a moment, then out the window at the garden, then back to me. “You put on a good show. But I bet you’re feeling just as strongly for me as I am for you, and I’m guessing that you’re scared, shit scared actually...well back at you. So am I.” Tristan leans forward, I open my mouth to argue but he holds his hand up to
stop me. “Hey, you said your piece let me say mine.” I am silenced, I can't argue. Gladys bought me up to be diplomatic in all situations. I nod to Tristan.

  “I don’t understand why you’re so adamant about not wanting to even try it, to give it a go, see how it works out. But then you say I’m about to be your boss, which I am, but I’ve already told you, I’ll hardly be there, at the office I mean. If we actually tried…and we found it was working out, I would spend more time working from home, here in Brighton, so I could see you on an evening....” he stops lost in thought. “Either way, it wouldn’t affect your job at all. If it didn’t work out I wouldn’t sack you Coral, that’s the last thing in the world I would do.” Ok, feeling a little better about him being my boss and what he wants, what I have a sneaking suspicion I want. But I’m denying it, protecting myself, protecting my already broken, tattered, ragged heart.

  “And just for the record, I think you’re the most attractive, the most beautiful, sexiest woman I have ever met. Not only that, I think you’re sweet, funny, and have a heart of gold which somehow has got broken, badly. I’d love to be the man that repairs it for you, mends it, heals it, but unless you give me a chance, I can't do that. And I’m not going to push you into something you don’t want to do, although it’s going to kill me to walk away from you.” I swallow hard, I can't believe he just said that to me. I’ve known him half a day and he’s declaring himself to me like...like...Tristan continues, shaking my thought pattern.

  “But at the same time there are a lot of things you don’t know about me, so let me let you in on a little secret. I spend 85% of my waking hours working, and when I’m not doing that I’m sitting in one of my houses staring at the T.V screen attempting to enjoy the movie I’m watching, when really all I feel is this crushing, sinking feeling that I am completely alone. And unless I do something about it, I’m going to end up a very sad, lonely old man.”

  I stare down at my knotted fingers feeling quite astonished he just shared that with me.

  “Don’t you have any friends?” I whisper in shock.

  “Friends come and go,” he adds flippantly. Immediately, a feeling of being amazingly blessed that I have Rob and Carlos washes over me.

  “When I finished University, I spent all my time building a successful career for myself, then the business. I wanted to make my folks proud, and I wanted to be wealthy enough to take care of them when they got older. I wanted to give back to them what they gave to me.” Tristan sounds like he’s choking up. I look up and see his eyes have reddened. I think he’s fighting back tears? He must miss them so much - Oh Tristan!

  He quickly finishes his pint and stands, his cheeks are flushed, his eyes dilated and I have no idea what to say to him.

  “Would you like another?” He politely asks, his voice a little shaky.

  I drain the rest of my water and hand him my glass. “Yes please.” I answer politely, unable to break eye contact with him, I watch him walk over to the bar.

  Pulling my gaze away I sit staring blankly at my menu. Who’d have thought it? Tristan is sad, Tristan has no-one! My heart constricts for him. He must be so lonely? I wonder if I could just be friends with him, or whether it would still be complicated with him being my new boss?

  Tristan returns, and places my glass down in front of me. His scent overpowers me again, shredding my nerves, sending my senses into disarray. He sits back down and takes a small sip of his drink, then stares down at the table. Instinctively I know he’s not done.

  “You made a comment earlier about rich people being happy if they live in big houses.” Uh-oh! It was me and my big mouth that pissed him off earlier.

  “You’re right Coral, totally right. If a person is happy with a successful business and big houses, nice cars, all the trappings that money can give you then great, and in truth I always thought I would be, I’m not saying I don’t like being wealthy.” He clarifies taking another drink. “I just didn’t realise there was something missing, something deeper that money or wealth, cars or big houses can fill. I was happy, I had my folks, the business was doing well enough so I could spend more time with them’ he pauses for a moment ‘then last year when they died within six months of each other, everything came crashing down. I realised it doesn’t matter how successful you are, or how much money you make, without family, without love; it’s all useless there’s no point to it, to any of it.

  “I’d been putting off meeting someone because I’d convinced myself I was ok on my own, but I’m not, at all. Losing my folks made me realise that, made me realise there was a big fucking gaping hole in my life.” Tristan shakes his head and drinks some more beer. And I’m shocked. I think it’s the first time I’ve heard him swear.

  “I turn forty this year. Not that I think age is important, I just thought I would have more in my life by now...you know a partner to spend my time with...marriage, kids maybe, I don’t know, just...” Lost in thought Tristan stares into the distance for a moment, then he gazes back at me. “And then I met you.” His eyes lock onto mine, they look so deep and soulful at that moment, that I swear he’s seeing straight through me, right into my dark soul. “The first moment our eyes met I knew I was in trouble. You knocked me sideways, took my breath away. I felt like the earth was rumbling beneath my feet and the sky was thundering above me. I’ve never felt anything that can even come close to how that made me feel’ – he says a little croakily, so he takes another drink – ‘when I turned around and saw you standing there, I didn’t see it coming at all Coral. In an instant, I saw image after image flash up in my mind’s eye, all of you and I together. And for a brief moment in time, that deep empty hole disappeared.” Shit, shit, shit! That’s how I felt! Oh Tristan!

  “I’ll give you what you want Coral, but I can't say I’ll stop being protective of you, I want to take care of you,’ he shakes his head, ‘for some reason, I get the feeling that you’ve been through enough, and I want to make sure you’re ok, in all situations.”

  “Tristan,” I whisper breathlessly, as a warm fuzzy feeling starts to flow through me, around me, encasing me. And I’m not sure if it’s Tristan, his words, the confusion about how I feel; or a combination of all three? But all I want to do is jump up from my seat and wrap my arms around him, so that’s exactly what I do.

  Almost knocking my chair over, I take the couple of steps round the table and launch myself into his lap. I wrap my arms around his neck and shoulders and squeeze him as tightly as I can, pressing my cheek against his. After a moment, I feel his arms encircle me, squeezing so hard I think I may stop breathing. But I like the feeling, him gripping onto me for dear life, me comforting him. It feels so good, then I think I’m probably totally confusing him.

  I pull back and look down into his warm chocolate eyes, then gently stroke his face. His skin is surprisingly soft, with only the very light tickle of facial hair coming through after his morning shave.

  “I’m so sorry you’re lonely...just for the record, I am too,” I whisper. “And I’m not trying to confuse you. I just hate it when others are suffering. I have this incessant need to help them, to comfort them. Gladys says I’ve always been like it ever since I came to live with her.” Tristan gazes into my eyes and runs his finger down my cheekbone, then rubs him thumb across my bottom lip. It sends lightning bolt sparks of electricity to every corner of my body.

  “Try,” he whispers, and I know he means us. I gaze at him, hypnotized again. I can feel his breath against my cheeks. His body feels warm and welcoming against mine, and his scent…oh he smells so good. I feel like I’m being pulled in two, one part of me wants to kiss his lips with such passion and fire, and the other part is running out the door...

  “I’m sorry, I can't.” I whisper and kiss him lightly on the cheek. I stand awkwardly, my legs feeling like jelly and make my way back to my seat. My head is spinning. I can’t believe he’s disclosed so much to me, that he likes me that much. Racking my brains for what I can say to him, I suddenly have an epiphany.
Maybe a way it could work? I don’t know...

  “Do you think you could handle hanging out as friends?” I ask hoping he’ll say yes.

  Tristan gazes intensely at me for a moment. “I’d really like that,” he answers hoarsely.

  I sigh inwardly, feeling relieved. For some reason I feel like I need to hang on to him? I already feel like I can't let him go.

  “I could introduce you to Carlos, Rob’s partner, he has a huge circle of friends and I’m sure before you know it you’ll have lots of friends to spend your free time with.” I add.

  But I know it’s not what he really wants, and if I’m honest it’s not what I want either. I frown deeply at that thought. I don’t want him going out there socializing; he might meet someone, he might fall for her? And I know deep down inside, that if I’m completely honest with myself – all I really want is the one, and I have a sneaking suspicion it’s him.

  Tristan gazes lovingly at me for a moment, then his expression changes his frown reappearing. “Let’s eat.” He states somberly – And I wonder if I’ve fucked it all up again.

  Sighing heavily, I pick up my menu and start to look through it, but my appetite has completely vanished. So I decide on a salad, it’s light and I don’t have to feel guilty if I don’t eat much of it. I put my menu down knowing what I want and sneak a peek at Tristan, he’s still perusing the menu. This guy seems to take his food seriously. I wonder why? After a moment he puts his menu down, looks up and catches me gazing at him, he smiles back at me, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

  I instantly feel gutted, I really like his eyes lighting up when he looks at me. God I’m so confused!

  A waiter appears out of nowhere, and I’m pleased that he’s male. I don’t think I can take another female ogling Tristan. He smiles politely at Tristan then turns to me, his eyes nearly popping out; I want to roll my eyes at him. He blinks several times then turns back to Tristan. “Are you ready to order?” He asks a little nervously.

  “Coral.” Tristan offers for me to go first.