King of Campus

by Jennifer Sucevic

  Glancing up at the leaden colored clouds, I’m just hoping the weather holds and the sky doesn’t open up and pour down on us. The day is overcast and there’s a definite chill to the air. But what else would you expect in Cincinnati at the end of October?

  I almost want to pinch myself because it’s hard to believe I’m actually here. Lexie squeezes my hand tightly as we stand outside the Aronoff Center where the Cincinnati Ballet performs.

  This isn’t the first time I’ve been here. My mom and I spent the weekend in Cincinnati and took in a show. I remember watching the CBC perform the Nutcracker at Christmas time. It was absolutely magical. My eyes had been glued to the dancers on stage in their gorgeous costumes with their graceful sweeping movements. I had whispered to my mom before the show was even over that someday I would be up there performing the Nutcracker.

  And now here I am, getting ready to audition in just about two hours. I almost shake my head.

  Is this really happening?

  “Are you nervous? Because I’m nervous for you.” Lexie sucks in a deep breath before pushing it out in a rush. “There’s a slight possibility I might throw up. That’s how sick I feel right now.” She squeezes my hand as she utters the words.

  I shoot her a quick glance before my eyes arrow back to the massive building in front of us. “Don’t you dare puke. But, yeah,” I whisper, “I am.”

  I have no idea why I feel the need to hush my voice, but I do. It’s kind of like being in church. Even though there is a ridiculous amount of noise coming at us from all directions, this moment feels somehow sacred. Like I’m standing on the cusp of something amazing… something life altering.

  So yeah, I’m nervous all right, but I’m also excited as hell. This moment is the culmination of all the dance classes I’ve been enrolled in since I was three, the long grueling hours spent perfecting choreography, the blisters and bruises on my feet, the muscle aches and strains. I wouldn’t be standing here right now without going through all that.

  And I’m ready.

  So ready to do this.

  I’ve spent the last week and half learning new chorography with Eric. Other than going to class and cranking out whatever work needed to be completed, I spent all my free time in the studio.

  I wasn’t sure how Lexie was going to react when I told her about the audition, but she’s been so supportive about the whole thing. When she suggested we road trip here for the day, I wanted to hug and kiss her.

  Actually, I did hug and kiss her. Too many times to count.

  After the audition is over, Lex and I are going to walk around the city before driving back to Barnett which is about six hours away.

  For just another moment we continue staring up at the Aronoff Center with its gorgeous wall of glass. It’s such a beautiful piece of architecture. It’s almost impossible to believe that in precisely one hundred and twenty minutes, I’m going to be performing on stage here.

  Again she squeezes my hand. “You ready to head inside?”

  We really should. I need to check in and stretch before running through my choreography. I should slip my headphones on and get into a good mental space.

  But I can’t help wanting to stand out here for a moment longer and just soak up the freaking awesomeness of this moment. I did the same thing when I went to Paris. The first time I entered the Conservatoire. I just stood there and took a moment to appreciate that I was actually there. That I’d made it happen.

  This experience is another one of those defining moments in my life.

  One I’ll look back on in five, ten, or twenty years and still remember exactly what it felt like to stand right here. In four hours or so, the audition will be over. Done with. I won’t be able to change the outcome.

  But right now… right now, anything can happen. The moment is full of possibilities and dreams and hopes.

  Silently Lexie and I just stand there, admiring the theater, thinking about what will happen inside and on stage. Pondering how different the next year of my life could be if I impress the panel of judges.

  Taking another deep breath, I finally nod my head. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

  I don’t think I’ve ever felt more ready for anything in my entire life.

  “You’re going to nail this, Ivy. I just know it. You’re such an amazing dancer.” Her words are soft but full of pride.

  My eyes slide to hers. “Thanks for being so supportive. No matter what, you’ve always been there for me. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend than you.” In the good times and the bad, Lexie has always been by my side. She was there to wrap her arms around me and hold me tight when my mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer and she was there when we finally buried her on a warm July morning. I bawled on her shoulder when my dad turned my whole world upside down again by announcing his engagement to Leah, who was three months pregnant.

  No matter what, Lexie has been an unshakable fixture in my life. I don’t think I’ll ever find another friend quite like her. Everyone should have a Lexie Abbott in their lives. I know exactly how lucky I am to have her in mine.

  “Hey,” she says, her voice sounding suspiciously thick, “we’ve been there for each other throughout the years. We’ll always be best friends. No matter what.”

  Pulling Lexie into my arms, I hold her tightly to me. “No matter what happens today, it means a lot that you’re here to share this moment with me.”

  She gives a watery little laugh like she’s trying to rein in her emotions. “Like I said before- you’re going to nail this. I have absolutely no doubts about it.” She pulls her lips down into a pout, but I can tell she doesn’t mean it. “And then you’ll be living an amazing life here and I’ll be stuck at Barnett for another year and a half.”

  As she says the words, it hits me yet again that there’s a very real possibility of that happening. I mean, how exciting would that be? To dance professionally on stage for a living?

  “I guess you’ll just have to come and visit me every single chance you get!”

  Just as we’re walking to the glass doors of the theater, my phone rings.

  I know it has to be Roan.

  He wanted so badly to be here with me but there’s an away game today. So he’s sitting on a bus. There’s so much background noise, I have to press my hand against my other ear so I can hear him clearly.

  “Hey, babe, are you there yet?”

  Hearing his voice is like being wrapped up in a warm comfy blanket. Everything within me instantly calms. “Yeah, we’re just about to head inside the theater and check in.”

  His voice deepens as if what he’s about to say is important. “You’re going to be great, you know that, right?”

  I squeeze my eyes tightly shut as his words, and their meaning, pour over me. “I hope so,” I whisper. It’s awesome having Lexie with me but I wish he was here, too. I wish he could wrap me up in those big muscular arms of his and hold me tight. Give me a kiss for good luck.

  Even though he chuckles, it’s low. Not at all like his normal lighthearted one or the sexy gravelly laugh that sends little shivers scampering down my spine before arrowing straight to my core. This one seems tinged with sadness. “I really wish I could be there with you, Ivy. I’m just glad you didn’t have to make the trip by yourself.”

  “Me, too. Lexie and I are going to walk around the city after this. Do a little shopping before heading home.”

  “Sounds fun. Are you planning on driving all the way back tonight?”

  “Yeah. The audition is at noon and we’ll leave by six, probably roll in around midnight.” I’m really hoping it goes well or the rest of the day is going to be a complete bust for me. I won’t be able to stop myself from mentally critiquing my performance. Over and over and over again. And Lexie deserves a little shopping after carting my ass here. Still tired and groggy, we hit the road this morning around four. And she did all the driving so I could sleep. The girl is a total trooper.

  “Sounds good, babe. Can’t wait to see y
ou tonight.”

  “Me, too. Have a great game.”

  “I’m planning on it. I’ll call you after it’s done to see how everything went but I know you’re going to be amazing. You always are, Ivy.”

  I can’t help but smile as I whisper, “Right back at you, King.”

  It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him that I love him but I rein it back in at the last minute. We’re almost to that point but I don’t want to do it over the phone. Not when he’s so far away from me, sitting on a bus full of rowdy, jacked up teammates. When I finally tell Roan how much I care about him, it’ll be when we’re together. Alone.

  Again he pitches his voice low. “I’m really hoping you’ll be slipping into my bed later on tonight.”

  Which is exactly what I’d intended. No matter how late it is. “Sounds like a date.”

  “Okay, I’m going to let you go so you can get checked in. And I’m not going to wish you luck because this isn’t about luck, it’s about being prepared and talented and you are, Ivy. I’m proud of you, baby.”

  “Oh, Roan,” I whisper, “I can’t wait to see you tonight.”

  “Right back at you, Kaster.”

  I can’t help but laugh. “Okay, I’m hanging up now.” As I glance at the building and the dancers now filtering past us, obviously here for the same audition, nerves start to once again chew at my insides.

  Saying our goodbyes, I hit the end button.

  “Ivy?” Lexie’s wide eyes fasten onto mine as I pocket the phone. “You ready for this?”

  Inhaling a deep breath, I force it out slowly before saying, “I’ve been ready my entire life.”

  Together we pull open the doors to the Aronoff Center before walking inside.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Another winning game where Roan King was literally on fire. It’s as if every single pass thrown to him couldn’t have gone anywhere but in those big strong hands of his. Bulldog fever has never been more out of control. If you’re not a Bulldog fan, you might as well pack up your bags and get the hell out of town. Once again, Roan King proves that he’s NFL ready. And he’s never looked so good doing it either… KingOfCampus.com

  “Have you heard anything yet?”

  Biting my nails, I shake my head. It’s been three days since the audition in Cincinnati. I thought for sure I would have heard something by now. If not by the company itself, then by Eric who is friends with one of the chorographers. I’ve been on pins and needles ever since. Every time my phone buzzes, I find myself pouncing on it.

  Even though there were over two hundred dancers at the audition, I don’t feel like I could have performed any better than I did. At the end of my three minute piece, I left it all out there on the floor. No regrets. No second guessing myself. I was one hundred percent satisfied with my performance.

  And really, if I don’t get it, so be it. I’ll chalk it up to experience, do a few more auditions in the late spring/early summer and keep working towards my degree in finance. I’ll be here with Roan for second semester. And I’ll be able to live with Lexie for the duration of our lease.

  So really… it’s a win-win situation.

  But still… I wanted this. Wanted to know I could hold my own with professionals. People who actually make their living in the world of dance.

  “What does Eric say?”

  I blow out a long slow breath before answering. “That it can take time. They video all the auditions and have to review it, narrow down the field, and then make decisions.”

  Lexie nods as if that makes perfect sense. Which I’m not saying it doesn’t… It’s just that all this waiting is killing me.

  Just as she opens her mouth to say something more, there’s a knock on the apartment door. Glancing at me, she hurries towards it. Since I’m sitting on the couch, I don’t have a clear sightline to the door. All I can hear are murmured voices pitched low.

  When I finally hear the door close a few moments later, Lexie comes padding back towards me and…. drumroll please… Dylan is a few steps behind her.

  I bolt up on the couch. My gaze bounces from Lexie to Dylan and then back again. “Hey, Dylan.” I’m not sure what this means… if anything. Dylan and Lexie still aren’t together. He’s been trying to give her the space she asked for. Where he used to drop over unannounced all the time, he never does that anymore.

  Since Roan and I spend time together at his apartment, I see Dylan with a fair amount of frequency. We’ve talked, but there isn’t a whole lot for me to say. He’s definitely not the happy-go-lucky, affable guy I met the day before classes started. Ever since the breakup, he’s been a lot quieter. More introverted and melancholy. He spends more time in the gym working out and running outside. His body is definitely more fit and cut than it was before.

  “Roan mentioned you had an audition in Cincinnati over the weekend. How did it go?”

  “I haven’t heard anything so….” my voice falls away as I shrug my shoulders, “apparently not that well.” There’s no question about it- rejection sucks.

  But that’s the way it goes when you’re pursuing a career in the arts. You have to really believe in yourself, be persistent, always be honing your craft, and have a thick skin.

  He nods as our eyes hold. “I’m sure it’ll work out, Ivy.”

  I can’t help but hoist a smile at his kind words. “It will,” I finally agree, “One way or the other.” At this point, that’s all I can tell myself.

  He gives me a slight smile in return. But again, it’s certainly not a full blown Dylan Sullivan grin. Even though I understand why Lexie felt the need to pull away and get some perspective, my heart goes out to Dylan. He’s a really good guy and he’s been a great boyfriend. I just hope when Lexie finally decides she wants him back, he’s still available.

  As silence falls over the three of us, his eyes flit back to Lexie. Clearing her throat, she jerks her head towards the bedroom. “We’re going to talk for a bit.” With that being said, they disappear inside her room.

  My fingers are crossed that they’ll be able to work everything out.

  Feeling restless, I click through a handful of channels but can’t find anything interesting to hold my attention. Just as I shut off the TV, my phone starts buzzing. All but falling on top of it, I almost swallow my tongue when I see an unknown area code flashing across the screen.

  Five-one-three.

  Wait… I think… I think that’s a Cincinnati number!

  Shooting off the couch, I stare at the screen as it continues buzzing in my hand. An odd kind of paralysis seizes every single muscle in my body. It’s like I’m frozen with nerves. I’ve been waiting for this call for the past three days and now that it’s finally happening, I scared to answer it. By the third ring, I know I have to hit accept or it’ll end up going to voicemail.

  Quickly whispering a small prayer, I stab my finger at the screen before bringing the phone to my ear. The breath trembles from my lips as I say, “Hello?”

  If feels as if my heart actually skips a beat as I wait for the voice on the other end. I think an eternity slowly slips by before someone finally says, “Hello? Is this Ivy Kaster I’m speaking with?”

  All the saliva in my mouth instantly dries as he utters my name. “Yes,” my voice wobbles as I answer, “this is Ivy.”

  “Hi, Ivy, this is Carter Moliter from the Cincinnati Ballet.” When I don’t immediately respond, he continues, “I’m calling in regards to the audition that took place on Saturday.”

  Oh god. This is it. This is really it! A shiver of apprehension slides down my spine making the skin on my arms prickle with gooseflesh. My entire future rests on this moment. On his next few words.

  Instead of sounding strong and confident, my voice comes out sounding all breathy and whispery. “Yes?”

  “As you know, we have two spots to fill for on pointe dancers in the corps de ballet. And there were a little more than two hundred dancers who auditioned with us.”

  Something in my belly clench
es at his words. Maybe he isn’t calling with good news after all. I mean, is it really possible that I was chosen from over two hundred other dancers?

  “The judges were all incredibly impressed with the sheer volume of talent that showed up. We really couldn’t have asked for a better pool of candidates to choose from. After watching all of the auditions and reviewing the video, we were able to narrow the field down to twelve dancers who we felt would be wonderful additions to the company.”

  Yep. This is bad. Maybe I’m talented… but not talented enough to compete for a spot with the Cincinnati Ballet. With my knees suddenly feeling weak, I fall back onto the couch.

  Clearing my throat, I finally say, “All of the dancers were immensely talented. It was an honor and privilege just to audition for the Cincinnati Ballet.” It’s a struggle to keep my voice light even though there is so much disappointment trapped within my chest. But the words are absolutely true. The talent that showed up for the audition on Saturday blew me away.

  “As I’m sure you’re aware of, The CBC prides itself on the outstanding quality of its dancers and choreographers. We can only invite the most talented individuals to join us.”

  “Of course.” And I, apparently, am not one of the most talented. God… this hurts even more than I imagined it would.

  I’ve spent years auditioning for spots. I’ve had to audition for every dance team I ever belonged to as well as Barnett and a few other colleges I was considering. Not to mention the Conservatoire. I had to put together a video and be critiqued by my instructors. So, I’m used to the process. And I realize it’s not going to work out in my favor every single time. They could have been looking for something specific. Taller. Shorter. Blonde. Brunette. You just never know…

  But the Cincinnati Ballet...

  This was the first real audition for a professional gig I’ve ever been on.

  And I didn’t get it.

  “Congratulations, Ivy, you were selected from over two hundred outstanding candidates for one of our positions. I hope you realize what a great honor this is.”

  His words take me completely by surprise. “What?” I’m barely able to whisper the word. “You’re saying,” I have to gulp down all the thick emotion clawing its way into my throat, “you’re saying I’ve been selected to dance for the Cincinnati Ballet?”