The Holiday Cruise

by Victoria Cooke

  ‘Hannah!’ a woman’s voice shrieked. I lifted my eyes, and as they adjusted to the dusky light, I recognized Sandra, Michael, and Ben walking towards me.

  I pushed the corners of my mouth into a smile. ‘Hello Sandra, Michael, Ben.’ A shrivelling sensation rippled around my chest. Ben shrugged half-heartedly.

  ‘Oh, love, I’m so glad we found you. I’ve been wanting to give you this before we left.’ She scrambled around in her oversized wicker bag with embroidered flowers on the front. It clashed wildly with her yellow capri pants and blue top. ‘Here’ she said, eventually producing an A5 envelope.

  ‘What is it?’

  She clasped her hands together excitedly. ‘Just open it.’

  Tentatively, I opened the envelope and slid out a photograph. It was me and Ben in Kotor, on the Kampana Tower. We were facing each other, holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes, the mountains and bay visible behind us. It was a beautiful photograph. ‘Oh, Sandra, Michael, this is lovely, thank you. You’re a talented photographer, Michael,’ I said. ‘Ben, have you seen this?’

  ‘I’ve got one too.’ He waved an identical envelope.

  ‘We printed them off in the business centre. I just thought you had to have a copy.’ She stepped forward to hug me, and I stood rigid with surprise, before patting her on the back with one arm.

  ‘Well thank you,’ I said. ‘It is a lovely thing to have done.’

  ‘Maybe now you two will have something to cling to,’ she said, winking at me. ‘Come on, Michael, there’s a singer on in the lounge and I fancy one last cocktail.’ She took Michael’s arm and they walked away, leaving Ben and me standing face to face.

  ‘It’s a great picture,’ he said.

  ‘It is.’ I turned as a couple walked past hand in hand, the orange glow of the sunset falling upon them. I wished Ben and I were free to do the same.

  ‘I’m supposed to be having farewell drinks with Sandra, Michael, and the other couples from my table, but all I want to do is spend time with you.’

  ‘It’s Pete’s last night too. I have to go and say goodbye.’ I felt torn. ‘How about I come to your room later and we try again?’

  He nodded. ‘I’d like that. Shall we say about half-ten?’

  ‘I will be there.’ He kissed me on the forehead and left.

  A firm hand fell on my shoulder, making me jump. I spun round to meet a thunderous pair of steely blue eyes.

  ‘Marion.’ my voice croaked.

  She had her arms folded and was shaking her head slowly. ‘What the hell do you think you’re playing at?’ I stared at her blankly as my heart rate sped up. ‘You think the rules don’t apply to you?’ she spat.

  I shook my head. ‘I didn’t mean for …’

  ‘What? For me to find out? He kissed you on the promenade deck. Did you honestly think nobody would know?’

  ‘He’s leaving tomorrow,’ I said feebly.

  ‘So that makes it okay? What if he gets home and files a complaint, says you took advantage of his emotional state? Hannah, I have to report this.’

  I panicked. ‘Please don’t, Marion. He won’t file a complaint.’ I sighed. ‘We have a strong connection. It isn’t just a fling.’ Her eyes bored into me. ‘We haven’t … been intimate or anything.’

  She looked out to sea but I sensed she was considering something – anything other than reporting me would be a bonus so I continued. ‘He leaves tomorrow so it will all be over. Marion, please, I have to get back to Barcelona for my flights.’

  ‘Well you should have thought about that.’ She stormed off, leaving me in complete limbo. I leaned on the rail to let the low sunset cast a mild warmth on my face as a tear rolled down my cheek. It was my last night with Ben. If she was going to report me anyway they couldn’t kick me off the ship until tomorrow. It was a case of in for a penny, in for a pound. I’d spent most of my life being told what to do. It was time to make my own choices.

  ***

  I made my way down to the crew bar where the others were already celebrating. ‘Pete,’ I shouted as I walked in, instantly making a beeline for him. I wrapped him in a bear hug. ‘I’m going to miss you so much,’ I said, planting a big kiss on his cheek.

  ‘I’m going to miss you all too. Damn.’ He slammed his beer down on the bar. ‘Get in here, all of you,’ he said, holding out his arms to wrap us all in a hug. ‘And you.’ He prodded me. ‘You better be there in Thailand.’

  I smiled, my cheeks flushing slightly. ‘I will.’ We swapped contact details and reminisced about the fun we’d had, the beaches, the time Pete and I kissed (which everyone found hilarious), and before I knew it, it was ten past ten.

  ‘I’ve got to go,’ I said, suddenly feeling terrible.

  ‘What? Where?’ Britney said, glaring at me.

  Before I could answer Pete cut in. ‘She has somewhere she needs to be.’ He smiled knowingly. ‘I’ll catch you at the gangplank in the morning.’ He leaned over to hug me once more. ‘Go get him, tiger,’ he whispered so just I could hear. Tears pricked at my eyes. I was going to miss Pete so much.

  As I approached Ben’s door, I could see it was propped open on the catch. I looked up and down the corridor, which was now littered with cases people had left out to be taken off the ship. A slightly tipsy couple were falling into a cabin quite a way down, but other than them, the coast was clear. Quickly, silently, I slipped into the room.

  ‘Hey, you.’ Ben was on the bed, fully dressed, reading a book.

  ‘Hey, you.’ I mimicked his soft tone.

  ‘Alone at last,’ he said. I walked over and perched on the bed beside him. There were two already filled champagne flutes on the bed stand. He handed me one, which I accepted gratefully. ‘Cheers, to travel and meeting wonderful people.’ He raised his glass.

  ‘Cheers, to cheeky but rather hot, stalkery guests.’ I smirked, earning myself a playful jab in the ribs.

  ‘As much as I resent that remark,’ he said, ‘I would actually like to say a few words.’

  ‘Oh you would, would you?’ I stifled a giggle.

  ‘Yes. I wanted to say that I’ve had the best honeymoon I could have wished for and I’m so glad it was spent with you, and not my wife, or ex-fiancée.’

  ‘That sounds terribly wrong – is it supposed to be flattering?’ I said lightly.

  ‘Shh, don’t interrupt.’ He guzzled half of his glass of champagne before taking my glass from me and placing them both down. ‘Bugger it, I’ve forgotten now,’ he said, diving on me so I fell back onto the pillow. He lay propped on his elbow, looking down at me. ‘You are beautiful. Do you know that?’

  I felt the heat sear my cheeks. I disagreed, but protesting would have looked like I was fishing for more compliments. So instead, I went with a simple ‘Thank you.’ I giggled nervously. ‘You’re not so bad yourself.’

  He leaned down to place a kiss on my forehead. The top two buttons of his light blue shirt were open, revealing the chest I’d touched earlier. I could smell the fresh aftershave he wore, notes of grapefruit, basil, orange blossom, and amber swarmed my senses. I longed to rip his shirt off. He caught me looking at his buttons and leant down and kissed me on the mouth, hot and urgent. Knowing nobody would catch us or interrupt us was liberating.

  I ran my hands underneath his shirt and over his back, pulling him on top, his body heavy on mine. His fingers ran behind my ears and small shocks of electricity zapped my head where they touched. I could feel that he wanted me. I wanted him too, more than I’d ever wanted anyone. I unbuttoned his shirt, revealing the tanned, toned chest I’d longed to get my hands on. His breathing grew heavier as I pressed kisses along his skin.

  He tugged me upright and pulled my dress over my head then laid me carefully back down on the bed, looking down at me for a moment, a sweet, sexy smile on his lips. Thank God I put on matching underwear. I parted my lips, waiting for the next kiss.

  ‘Are you sure about this?’ he whispered. ‘It could be a huge mistake.’

&
nbsp; ‘I’m willing to take that chance.’

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I fell heavily back down on the bed, panting and exhausted. Three weeks’ worth of tension finally expelled, taking all of my strength with it. Ben turned on his side to face me and snaked an arm around my middle.

  ‘Well, that was a great ending to a great trip.’ He planted a kiss on my collarbone. My brain felt foggy, as if it had completed its goal and needed to rest. I managed an ‘uh-huh’.

  ‘Come with me.’ He shuffled to the end of the bed and put on his boxer shorts. I slipped on my underwear and stood up. Taking my hand, he led me to the closed curtain, which he opened to reveal the patio doors that led onto the balcony.

  I hesitated at the door. ‘I’m not dressed.’

  ‘Neither am I. Don’t worry, there are privacy screens. Nobody will see us aside from the odd dolphin.’ I popped my head out to check before taking a tentative step out onto the balcony. The night was cooler than it had been. Goose bumps formed on my arms making me shiver. I leant on the balcony. Ben stood behind me and placed his head on my shoulder, his body warming mine.

  For a while, we just stayed like that, looking out to the blackness of the night sky, listening to the waves crash against the hull. Every now and then he’d kiss my neck, and every time he did, I wondered how I was ever going to cope without him. I felt nauseous at the thought.

  ‘I don’t want this night to end,’ he whispered.

  ‘Me neither,’ I said, looking to the stars that littered the sky. My eyes began to moisten with tears so I blinked quickly to hold them back. But as I leant my head to rest on his arm, a tear dripped on him.

  ‘Hey,’ he said, spinning me around. My throat swelled painfully and I couldn’t stop all the carefully held water from flooding down my cheeks.

  ‘I don’t want you to leave.’ I sniffed, wiping my nose on my arm. He wrapped me in a hug, his skin warm and comforting.

  ‘I don’t want to leave either.’ I caught a slight sniffle and noticed his eyes had moistened. ‘But I can’t afford to live on a cruise ship.’ He laughed through a tear and I laughed too.

  ‘Do you think we’ll see each other again?’

  ‘Yes, yes of course we will.’ His knitted brow and fixed stare seemed sincere. ‘I’ll make sure of it.’

  I smiled and wiped at another tear. ‘God, look at me, I’m a mess,’ I said before heading inside towards the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face and rubbed at the black mascara that had smudged underneath my eyes. Once I was satisfied I looked as normal as I could have hoped with a red blotchy face, I went and sat on the bed, taking a sip of champagne. Ben came in and scribbled something down on a piece of ship stationery.

  ‘Here. When you’ve found yourself, come and find me.’ He handed me the paper with his address, phone number, and email on. ‘I’ve put my parents’ address down since that’s where I’ll probably be.’

  ‘You left off your national insurance number,’ I teased. ‘I will definitely keep in touch.’

  His expression deepened a little, just enough to notice. ‘I tried right up until the end of this cruise to win one of those key rings and I never managed it. But you know what? I won something much better.’ He kissed the knuckles of my balled hands. Raw emotion overcame me as my chest ripped apart, and I burst into tears. He wrapped me in a hug. ‘This is not the end,’ he whispered, and I wanted to believe him.

  ‘I’d better go.’ I dried my eyes and stood up. I reached for my dress and pulled it on.

  ‘I mean it,’ he said, his brow creasing.

  ‘I’ll see you in the morning. Pete’s leaving at eight a.m. and we’re meeting at the gangplank to see him off. I think he’d like to see you before you go too,’ I said, trying not to let my voice shake, but failing badly.

  ‘I’ll be there.’ He wrapped me in a warm, safe hug and kissed my head. I breathed in his fresh scent one last time before pulling myself away.

  ‘See you tomorrow,’ I said sadly, stretching up on my tiptoes to kiss him goodbye, and then left with a profound emptiness in my stomach.

  ***

  Marion had granted Kristy and me permission to leave the ship at eight to say goodbye to Pete whilst she continued the port clean of the spa. She hadn’t mentioned our conversation the night before and to be honest, I didn’t care what she’d done about it.

  The port of Venice didn’t hold any of the magic of the city – it was industrial and ugly and gave no hint of the beauty that lay close by. It was just as well: a morning like this, saying goodbye to two men that held a special place in my heart didn’t warrant such an elegant setting.

  Kristy and I left the spa at ten to eight. My eyes were boggy and heavy from another night with little sleep. Kristy didn’t ask about it. I assumed she could gather that it had been a rough night. As we cleared security and made our way down the gangplank, I saw Pete, Zac, and Britney talking to a dark-haired man. Ben. My breaths became short and sharp as a pain stabbed at my chest. I clutched the rail for support.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Kristy asked. I took a deep breath, and another, and forced myself to nod.

  ‘I will be,’ I said, slowly stepping forward. As we approached them, Ben turned around. The sight of his reddened eyes and puffy face stung me.

  ‘I told him I’d keep in touch,’ Pete said, gesturing at Ben and shrugging.

  I chuckled weakly. ‘You’re just such a loss to us all, Pete.’

  ‘Before I forget, I got you this.’ Pete put an arm around Ben’s shoulder and presented him with a small, blue box. We all looked on curiously as Ben opened the lid. A smile crept across his face.

  ‘This … this is fantastic. This has made my trip,’ he said, waving the box towards Pete. ‘Cheers, buddy.’ Ben hugged Pete. Ben took out the silver key ring from the box and held it up so we could see the ship’s logo, and everyone burst into laughter.

  ‘You were the best competitor,’ Pete said, patting Ben on the back. ‘Guys, it’s time.’

  We took our turns hugging Pete and wishing him a safe journey. He promised me we’d meet up somewhere exotic, and I knew I’d hold him to it. As he turned to leave, he placed a hand on his chest and said, ‘Keep in touch. It’s been emotional.’ I thought I saw him well up, but I’d never be sure. Then he and Britney walked away to say their goodbyes in private.

  We all looked at each other for a moment, not quite sure what to do. Kristy looked at me, then at Ben. ‘Well, we should be off. Bye, Ben, have a safe journey home. Come on, Zac.’ She took Zac’s arm and dragged him away before he could protest. ‘You got your key ring,’ I said once they’d gone.

  ‘I did. My holiday is now complete.’ He looked down, kicking at a stone on the concrete floor. ‘My transport is here already,’ he said after a moment. There were officers and other crew members buzzing about, so I dared not even hug him. My lip began to quiver. Not here, Hannah. I bit down on it, forcing it to stop.

  ‘I’m going to miss you.’

  ‘I’m going to miss you too,’ I said, fighting to keep my voice from cracking. This time, I knew my face looked sad as the pain from my chest surged up and manifested there.

  He dumped his bag on the floor. ‘Sod this, I’m coming in for a hug.’

  I smiled and melted into his arms, allowing them to envelop me, and for a moment, I pretended it was all okay. The world swept by in fast forward as we remained frozen in time, in a moment of heightened happiness. I breathed in his scent one last time and prised away, a small, unexpected sob escaping me as I did.

  ‘Goodbye, Hannah.’ He turned and walked, heavy-footed, towards customs and the luggage collection point. When he reached the door, he turned back and raised his hand to wave.

  I trudged back up the gangplank towards the ship. A small movie-loving part of me hoped he’d come running up behind me, telling me he’d changed his mind and he was going to stay and work on the ship or come travelling or whatever, but of course he didn’t.

  Instead, I was approached b
y a security officer as I scanned my ID to go back through ship security. ‘Hannah Davis, can you report to human resources please,’ he said.

  ‘What is it?’ I asked, confused. I’d not applied for another job and all my paperwork for this job was in order.

  ‘I don’t know, ma’am,’ he said, steely-faced.

  ‘I need to head up to the spa first and let my boss know.’

  ‘There is no time. You must go now. I will escort you.’ Butterflies filled my stomach and all kinds of thoughts entered my head as I walked into the lift, flanked by the officer. Was it someone at home? Jen? Oh my God I hope Jen is okay. Ben leaving was enough bad news for one day.

  ‘Sit down.’ The blonde lady said as I entered the HR office. ‘Helena’, her badge read. I couldn’t make out the flag of her nationality, though I guessed she was from an Eastern European country. She had the same white suit on that all the officers wore, but with a skirt instead of trousers. ‘Hannah, I’m going to get straight to the point.’ My chest pounded so hard, I could feel it in my throat. ‘Your employment has been terminated due to inappropriate relations with a guest. You must collect your things and leave the ship immediately. Mr Ortiz will escort you.’ She flicked her eyes back to the file in front of her.

  I felt sick. My head spun in disbelief. They couldn’t sack me right at the end of my contract. I opened my mouth to speak but a heavy hand landed on my shoulder. ‘We need to go.’ Mr Ortiz didn’t look like a man to argue with.

  As we walked to my cabin my hands trembled. Marion must have told them. What a bitch, what a horrible, horrible bitch. My blood bubbled inside me. What was I going to do?

  When we arrived at my cabin, Mr Ortiz stood in the doorway as I gathered my things into my case. It didn’t take long to pack up what little I had and soon, I was stood with a suitcase, a laptop bag, and my messenger bag facing him. ‘What now?’ I asked the imposing officer. ‘Can I go and say goodbye to my friends?’ Surely they would allow that.

  He shook his head. ‘Now is time to leave the ship.’

  My chest quivered as I went into panic mode. ‘But you have to let me see my friends … I have to explain … I must say goodbye,’ I pleaded. It fell on deaf ears and instead, he gripped my arm firmly, picked up my case, and frog-marched me to the lift. He saw to it that I reached the gangplank efficiently. We did not pass go; we did not collect £200.