by Kyra Lennon
“He didn't hurt you, did he?” Miguel asked, taking my hand in his and intensifying the feeling of sickness that crept over me.
“No,” I assured him. “No. He didn't hurt me. But Stacey’s boyfriend invited him to the party. I tried to make up reasons why he couldn't come but Billy insisted,” rolling my eyes I added, “Billy thinks McCoy is God.”
With a chuckle, Miguel said, “That must have made your weekend.”
I didn't know what to say. I couldn’t say I’d hated Radleigh's presence when I was about to make a full confession, but it was sort of the truth. I had hated his presence. I'd hated him being in the flat and at the party.
And I’d really hated the morning after.
“Anyway,” I went on, choosing to brush past his comment, “when we got back from the party, McCoy couldn't find his wallet and … he asked to stay the night.”
Far from looking horrified, Miguel seemed a little amused. I knew he thought I’d been oh-so-kind for letting the man I hated stay in my flat for the night. For the briefest moment, I thought I might leave it at that. Why ruin everything because of one stupid mistake?
You cannot go on lying to him. Not only is it unfair, it will eat away at you until you confess.
“Probably wasn't the smartest move,” he said. “I mean, with his suspension and all, but it's not that big a deal.”
My insides began to squirm with the discomfort of it all. How could I tell him? It would break his heart and that was the last thing I wanted to do. But there wasn't any other option. At least not one I’d be happy to live with. I had enough secrets in my past already.
“It is a big deal,” I said, my voice beginning to tremble.
“Are you afraid he might tell Richard? Because if he does-”
“No. I need to tell Richard,” I sighed. “The night McCoy stayed at mine, Taylor told Richard that he was outside her house, which means-”
“You're McCoy's alibi.”
“Right.”
“Wow,” Miguel said, letting out a breath. “She lied.”
I nodded. “Yes. She lied.”
“You're worried about what everybody might think, aren't you?” he asked. “You shouldn't. People may never find out and Richard will believe you.”
He sounded so calm, so understanding and I didn't want to burst the bubble of faith he had in me. He honestly loved me, and as slow as I had been to realise, I loved him too.
Well done, Leah. You’ve really fucked up this time.
“Miguel, I need to tell you something,” I said, shakily. “When Radleigh showed up at my place and got invited to the party, I got drunk. I was drunk before I even left the flat.”
That confession alone was shameful enough, without having to top it off by ruining our relationship. Miguel's eyes were watching me intently which made me even more uncomfortable about what I had to do.
“At the party, I had a few more drinks and -” I trailed off as I saw the realisation of the truth seep into Miguel's brain.
“Oh,” he said, almost mechanically. “You slept with him, didn't you?”
Slowly, I nodded and Miguel dropped my hand.
“I'm sorry,” I told him, my voice breaking. “I'm so sorry.”
“But … you hate him.”
“I was so, so drunk. I don't even-” I paused for a moment, reminding myself that I had vowed to be completely honest with him. “There's no excuse for what I did. None.”
A few long moments passed, during which I didn't move and Miguel continued to stare at me in shock. After a while, I couldn't take it any longer.
“Please say something.”
“You slept with Radleigh McCoy,” he said slowly. “You had sex with Radleigh McCoy.”
“Miguel-”
“I don't understand, Leah. How could you … I thought …” he stopped, unable to fuse together the numerous questions that were circulating inside his head.
“I'm not going to do the cliché thing of telling you that I hope you can forgive me,” I said as a tear slipped down my cheek, “because I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it at all.”
He shook his head. “Don't you dare cry. You made this mess. You have no right to sit there crying.”
“I know,” I said, wiping my eyes.
It was no use though, the tears wouldn’t stop. His words sounded angry but his eyes were full of pain. I wished I could turn back the clock, to take back the action that had caused all of this, and more than anything I wished I could erase his hurt and make Miguel smile again.
“I’m gonna go home,” he said.
“Just like that? You don't want to talk?”
“I don't even want to think about it. There is nothing you can say to make this better.”
I wanted to tell him how sorry I was, that I loved him, but the words wouldn't come.
If you loved him, you wouldn't have looked twice at McCoy.
I’d never been more ashamed of myself. Miguel was right. There wasn't a thing I could say to change the situation and if he sat there any longer, me watching as his heart broke in front of me, I would break down completely.
“Goodbye, Leah.”
With one last lingering look, he stood and walked away from me. My tears began to fall faster as I watched him cross the street to his car. He didn’t drive away immediately. He rested his head on the steering wheel, and my heart ached. Ached for the pain I’d caused him, and for the huge mess I’d made. He didn’t deserve to hurt because of me.
And I still had one more thing to do before I went home.
Heavy with nausea, I headed back to the training ground to find Richard. Thankfully, he was still in his office. If he hadn’t been there, I felt sure I’d have wimped out of confessing.
“Leah,” he said, then noticing my tear-stained cheeks added, “are you okay?””
“There are some things I need to tell you.”
I took a seat and told him the story of my weekend, minus the inclusion of the sex, not that that made it any easier. He remained poker-faced, yet somehow, I still felt rising tension in the room with every word I spoke.
“Let me get this straight,” Richard said with the kind of dangerous calmness that comes before explosive yelling. “You not only went out partying with a suspended team member, you also let him spend the night in your apartment?”
I couldn't do anything more than nod.
“Would you care to explain why?”
“I told you. He lost his wallet and-”
“Leah, come on!” he snapped. “You knew how much trouble this would cause if anyone found out!”
“I didn't know what was going to happen,” I said, weakly. “I didn't know Taylor would make up some story about him.”
“That's hardly the point! You should’ve sent him away!”
“I tried,” I said, my voice rising a little. “But he wouldn't go.”
“Then you should have called me!”
The anger and disappointment on Richard's face made me avert my eyes. He'd never looked at me that way before and it was hard to take when I’d only ever had encouragement and praise from him. Letting him down was almost as gut-wrenching as what I’d done to Miguel.
“That look of guilt speaks volumes,” he said and as I glanced up at him, I knew he saw the truth.
“Richard -”
“Don't say a word,” he interrupted, fiercely. “I don't want to have to fire you.”
A brief rush of relief ran through me, even though I was about to be severely reprimanded. At least my job was safe.
“You know, I wondered if there was something going on between you and McCoy. When I found the two of you fighting in the locker room, I thought maybe -”
“Nothing was going on. Nothing is going on.”
“And yet he was worth jeopardising your career?”
“Believe me, if I could take it back, I would. I wish more than anything that this weekend had been a bad dream but unfortunately, that's not the case. And instead of keeping the whole th
ing to myself, I came to you to tell you the truth. Frankly, I couldn't give a toss whether McCoy loses his job. He is a sleaze and just because he didn't do what Taylor accused him of, he’s done plenty of other things he should’ve been fired for.”
“So why are you telling me?”
“Because I have a conscience. As much of a dick as he is, I couldn't live with myself if he got fired over this.”
“What about you? What you're saying is, in getting him off the hook, you’re risking your own job.”
“If you have to fire me, I'll deal with it,” I told him with more certainty than I possessed.
“I won't fire you, Leah. In spite of the amount of stupidity you’ve shown this weekend, you are damn good at your job. I won’t lose you.”
“So what's going to happen now?”
“I need you to stay here. I'll call Taylor and McCoy in so we can sort this out once and for all.”
Richard immediately contacted Radleigh and Taylor, and they were told to be in the training ground restaurant in an hour. Seemed like a slightly weird meeting place to me, returning to the scene of the non-existent crime. It was definitely bigger than Richard’s office though, which was a good thing. I wanted to be as far away from all of them as possible. Being crammed in the office would be too uncomfortable for words.
My head had been aching almost constantly for twenty-four hours. First it was a hangover, then guilt, panic, shame and anger. Exhausted with all the emotion, I waited in the restaurant for everyone to arrive and tried to ready myself for my last huge hurdle of the day.
I hadn’t thought about Taylor much. My mind had been too occupied with Miguel. Just thinking about the expression on his face when I told him about Radleigh made me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I planned to do just that as soon as I reached the privacy of home.
“Hey.”
I jumped at the sound of McCoy’s voice. I’d been so immersed in my thoughts, I hadn’t heard him come in.
“Hi. It's not like you to be early for a meeting.”
“Well, it's very rare for me to be called to a meeting where I’m the victim.”
I smiled at the truth of his statement.
He’s not that innocent. Don't forget who you're dealing with.
“Leah, I want to thank you for … for telling the truth.”
Looking up at him, I said, “You knew I would.”
“No I didn't. I wouldn't have blamed you if you didn’t after the way I've treated you.”
“Quit trying to butter me up,” I told him, sharply. “I've already confessed, there's nothing more I can do.”
“I'm trying to apologise.”
“For what?” I challenged. “For making my job harder than it should be? For trying to land me in trouble? What exactly are you sorry about?”
He rested his hands down on the table and leaned forward slightly.
“I’m sorry for everything. But I’m not sorry we slept together.”
As much as I’d tried to block out the events of that night, I knew Radleigh would never let it drop.
“I’m not buying this new, thoughtful you,” I told him. “At least when you were being devious, it was real.”
“You bought it on Friday night.”
“On Friday night you weren't putting on an act.”
“Wasn't I?”
“No. You weren't.”
“Well, if that eases your conscience …”
His uncharacteristic openness was the only thing that stopped me completely hating myself. What he’d said about wanting to spend the night with someone who wouldn’t sell him out was the most sincere thing he’d ever said to me, and I refused to allow him to take it away by trying to pass it off as a trick.
With narrowed eyes, I said, “Let's not speak until the meeting starts.”
We sat silently until six o'clock when Richard and Taylor entered the restaurant.
She had her bowed and to my utter shock, she still seemed to be playing the victim.
“Okay,” Richard began once they were seated, “I met with Taylor a few minutes ago because I wanted to explain the situation to her and hear her side of the story.”
My eyes shifted to her but she kept her head down.
“Now,” he went on, addressing me, “I need you to go over your side of things again now we’re all here. This has gone on for long enough and I want to get to the bottom of it today.”
I realised he was trying to be professional but I knew there was little doubt in his mind that Taylor was the liar. I would never have provided McCoy with an alibi otherwise.
Richard met my eye. “Leah?”
“Radleigh arrived in Boston on Saturday afternoon,” I said. “My former flatmate's boyfriend invited him to the party we were going to and when we got back, Radleigh realised he'd lost his hotel room key, so he slept on my sofa. He was still there when I woke up, so he can’t have been outside Jesse’s house when she called you.”
I didn't even falter at the lie I told.
“Radleigh,” Richard said, turning to him, “is this what happened?”
Radleigh nodded. “That's what happened.”
“Why are you lying?” Taylor asked, finally looking up from the table to speak.
“Maybe a better question would be, why are you lying?” I said bluntly. “I believed you. You made me believe you, and all the time you were lying.”
Taylor let out a laugh. “Funny how keen you are to defend him now. When I told you he'd forced himself on me, you couldn't wait to report him.”
I felt McCoy's eyes on me but I didn't turn my head.
“That's not true. You said you didn't want to make trouble, so I offered to talk to Radleigh first.”
“And did you?” Richard asked me.
“Yes, I did. He said he hadn't done anything wrong. The next thing I knew, Taylor had reported the whole thing to you.”
“Only because I thought that if I left it to you, he'd use his charm to win you over, like the slimy lech he is!”
“For someone who thinks I’m a ‘slimy lech,’ you sure spent a lot of time following me around,” Radleigh said.
“I didn't follow you anywhere. I’ve no idea what you're talking about.”
This girl deserves an Oscar.
“Let's focus on what we do know, shall we?” Richard suggested.
“What we know,” Radleigh said, “is that I was with Leah when Taylor said I was outside Jesse’s apartment. And she just admitted that I didn't touch her.”
“What I'm curious about,” I began, “is why you even started this. What did you hope to achieve?”
“I hoped he'd get fired,” Taylor answered, glowering. “If I had you on my side, I thought we could get rid of him. I saw him with you, Leah. I saw him outside your apartment. He pushed you up against the doors and trapped you so you couldn’t move.”
Goosebumps crept over my skin. That was almost exactly what she said he’d done to her. She’d been watching. Months ago, she’d been there, watching his every move.
“So … you used that as a way to make me believe you,” I said, but it was more a realisation than a question.
“It worked, didn’t it?”
Oh yeah. It worked. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Richard. I didn’t want to see disappointment again. I hadn’t lied when he questioned me about whether Radleigh had ever done anything to me. I’d answered honestly, I’d just … left out a few details.
“Why did you want him fired?” I asked, trying to change the direction of the conversation.
“Look at him,” she said, jerking her head in his direction. “So fucking high and mighty. Even after I accused him, he didn't wipe that smug look off his face!”
I’d always thought Taylor to be an attractive girl, but with her face contorted in anger, her beauty was lost. She just looked bitter and nuts.
“Maybe that’s because he had nothing to worry about,” I said. “Clever as you were, you still got caught out. I think he’s allowed to be a l
ittle smug.”
He smirked at what I'd said but I ignored it. I may have been standing up for him, but I was still more than a little miffed about the way he’d been with me before the meeting began.
Richard had been watching the three of us closely, and I viewed the situation through his eyes. I’d abandoned all sense professionalism to defend McCoy. In light of what Richard knew about the weekend's events, I just knew he was thinking there was more between Radleigh and I than we’d told him. The truth of the matter was simple. Taylor was a scheming witch. I wouldn't have wished the way she treated him on anyone.
“I think we've established the facts now,” I said. “Taylor has made her confession, I am Radleigh's alibi and if you need any more proof, there are about two hundred people in Boston who saw him at the party with me.”
Slowly, Richard nodded. “Leah, Radleigh. You're free to go, but I'd like a word with you both outside first.”
As the three of is stood up, Richard looked down at Taylor. “Excuse me for a moment.”
Outside the restaurant, I waited nervously for whatever Richard had to say. Chancing a glance at Radleigh I saw he looked pretty much the same way.
“I don't know what is going on between the two of you,” Richard began, “but it stops right now. I want you to quit behaving like adolescents and do the jobs you’re paid to do. If you want to hang out together outside of work, that’s one thing, but if you’re in a relationship-”
“We're not,” I interrupted. “Nor will we ever be.”
Richard shook his head. “Well, whatever is – or isn't – going on,” he said, “I don’t want any more of your crap dragged in to work. I want you doing your jobs, not disrupting my team with your soap opera.”
McCoy and I both nodded, but it was further agony for me knowing I’d let him down so badly. I already missed the man who’d helped me settle in at Westberg, and taken the time every day during my first few weeks to ask me if there was anything he could do for me. No more would Richard and I share a joke while discussing our daily tasks. From now on, it would be strictly business.
“We'll keep out of trouble,” I assured him.
“I'm glad to hear it. Now, if you'll excuse me.”
He turned and re-entered the restaurant, leaving me feeling like a schoolgirl who’d just got a rollocking from the headmaster.
