by Kyra Lennon
“Thanks,” Radleigh said. “Thanks for everything you said in there.”
“I didn’t really have any other choices.”
He shook his head, “Not true. What you did was way more than was necessary.”
I shrugged. “I don't like liars. And before you start getting all smug about how I said all that because I secretly have feelings for you, I don’t. I still think you’re a complete arse for the way you’ve treated me. So don't waste your breath.”
“If you say so.”
If we had been somewhere else, I would have yelled.
Glaring at him, I said, “Don't. We had sex, and now it's over. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. You’ve made my job impossible and ruined my relationship with Miguel, now I would appreciate it if you'd leave me alone.”
I turned on my heel and began to walk away, but Radleigh followed me. “You can blame me for ruining your relationship if it helps you. But you're the one who cheated. And even though you thought I'd forced myself on Taylor, you still slept with me. Just think about that before you start blaming me for everything.”
For once, I was pleased Freya wasn’t home when I got in. Most days, I loved talking to her after work, but that day, everything was still too raw to discuss.
Throwing myself down on my bed, I allowed myself to cry for a while, letting all of the day’s tension drain away.
The thing that bothered me more than anything else was that Radleigh had been the one to point out the obvious. In spite of a sexual harassment accusation hanging over his head, I’d still gone to bed with him. I'd shoved that issue out of my mind like it didn’t matter because I wanted him. Just like when I was young and didn’t know any better, I hadn't considered the consequences.
Blaming him didn't change anything. I made the decision to sleep with him. The mess that had suddenly become my life was self-inflicted and I had nobody to turn to. Freya would never understand what I'd done. Usually when things got rough, I turned to Richard. Since I first started my job he'd been like a surrogate father. But his disappointment in me was clear so that bridge had been burned too. In L.A, I’d found the best friends I’d ever had, but at that moment, I’d never felt more alone.
I had nobody to blame but myself.
Chapter 14: You’re The Latest Gossip
I was rudely awakened in the morning by the slamming of my bedroom door. I blinked to clear the haze from my eyes and saw Freya standing over me.
“What the hell is going on, Leah?” she demanded, without even waiting for me to sit up.
“Good morning to you too,” I muttered, sarcastically.
“Please tell me you didn't have sex with Radleigh McCoy. Please.”
Wow. Gossip really does travel fast.
“Where did you hear that?”
“Will called me! He said Miguel went round to his place last night, and told him that you’ve broken up because you and McCoy slept together in Boston!”
“Why are you asking?” I said, pulling myself out of bed. “You already seem to have all the answers.”
I began to head for the kitchen and Freya yelped, “Leah!”
“What?” I asked, turning to face her. Her eyes were wide with unspoken questions. “What do you want me to say?”
“I want you to say you didn't sleep with him and Will is wrong!”
“When has he ever lied to you before?”
As I started to walk away again, she grabbed my arm, forcing me to look at her. “You slept with him?”
“Yes, and no amount of repeating those words will stop it being true. If you don't mind, I’d like to have breakfast and crack on with what will probably be the worst day ever.”
I felt awful already. I'd turned into “hard Leah” – donning my protective outer shell, ready to face the masses of people who were all clearly talking about me. I shouldn't have used it with Freya, but it was too late.
Besides, she’s never going to forgive me anyway.
Her face took on a look of confusion. “Don’t you even care how Miguel feels? Will said he was devastated!”
My protective shell crumbled at the strength of her words, causing me to take a sharp intake of breath as I remembered Miguel’s expression the last time I saw him.
“I care.”
Freya gently took my arm and led me back to my bed where she sat me down.
“Stay there. I’ll make you a cup of tea.”
The day had only just begun, and already I was getting abuse. From my best friend. If this was the way Freya reacted, I was in for a rough ride.
After a few minutes, Freya returned, handing me a steaming mug of tea. “I'm sorry.”
“Me too. I’m a little defensive this morning.”
“I see that.”
“I don't want to talk about it,” I told her. “Not at all.”
“Then answer me this. If these rumours are true, how did you keep hold of your job?”
Glancing at her over my cup, I said, “Richard. He knows the truth, but he said as long as I don't actually tell him, he won’t fire me.”
I took a sip of the hot, sweet tea, even though my shaking hands threatened to jolt it all over me. The taste was comforting, even if the atmosphere wasn’t.
“I can't pretend the idea of you and McCoy doesn't make me feel a bit … sick,” Freya said. “Or that I’m not completely shocked that you slept with him. Because I am.”
“Well, that makes two of us. It makes me feel a bit sick too.”
“Was I even right?” she asked, dryly.
“About what?”
“Did he call out his own name when he reached orgasm?”
I stared at her for a moment, in shock but as her words registered in my brain, we both burst out laughing. The tension drained away and I knew everything would be okay between us. I was relieved she’d chosen to stand by me instead of grilling me about it. The questions were there behind her eyes, but she chose to let them be.
My morning was … interesting to say the least. I stayed in my office as much as possible, only venturing out when I really had to. It seemed as though almost everyone had heard the rumours. Nobody said anything, but I got some unusually hostile glares, mostly from the small amount of female staff members and the guys who were closest to Miguel. Presumably they’d realised my alibi for McCoy and my break-up with Miguel were linked in a way that made me as much of a bad guy as Taylor. Her accusation had brought the whole team to a halt. Richard had allowed Jesse to take a few days off to cope with the shock, and there seemed to be a respectful silence amongst the team for him and what he was going through. Their show of support warmed my heart, but not a single ounce of compassion was directed at me, even though my confession had stopped Taylor ruining the career of their number one player.
By lunchtime, I was frazzled from it all but Freya and Will dragged me to the restaurant with them. Well, Freya dragged me. Will couldn't have cared less whether I was there or not.
“Jesus,” I said after ten minutes of awkward silence, “can one of you please say something? The silence is driving me mad!”
“Sorry,” Freya said. “It’s … this is a weird day.”
“No kidding. Apparently, sleeping with McCoy makes me a slut of the highest degree.”
“You say that like it surprises you,” Will muttered, not looking up from his food.
Both Freya and I stared at him. He’d hardly spoken a word to me all day, which I understood, but implying I was a slut? I felt like I’d been slapped.
“What did you expect?” Will asked. “You're the latest gossip.”
“Nobody even knows the full story.”
“Sounds like they do.”
“Will, cut it out,” Freya told him. “Everything they’re saying is based purely on speculation.”
“Doesn't change the fact that it's true.”
“What's it to you anyway?”
“Miguel is my friend.”
“In that case, don't you think it might be better for you to
try and stop the gossip instead of fuelling it? You may be enjoying that Leah is getting hurt by all this, but Miguel is too. If you cared about him you'd tell them to keep their mouths shut!”
Will looked at her through narrowed eyes. “I can't believe you're okay with all this.”
“I don't agree with Leah's decision, but I'm not judgmental enough to stop being her friend.”
“Freya. She slept with Radleigh McCoy.”
“Stop talking about me as if I'm not here!” I snapped. “I made a mistake, okay? Will, if you can't deal with it, that's fine, but treating me like I’ve murdered someone is not going to take it back!”
I stood up and strode out of the restaurant, keen to get as far away from Will as possible until he’d calmed down. If he calmed down. In my rush to reach the sanctuary of my office, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and I collided forcefully with someone on the stairs.
“Oh, sorry,” I stammered, looking up.
My face turned red as I realised the person I'd walked into was Miguel. He was technically still on sick leave, and with everything that went down the day before, I hadn’t expected to see him.
“Leah,” he said, softly.
“Hey. Sorry.”
“It's okay.”
I wanted to run. The ache of what I'd done to him coursed through my veins so fast I could hardly stand it. But my feet were rooted to the spot. I stared at him, those big brown eyes expressing no hint of malice. Just pure pain.
“You seemed to be in a hurry,” he said, breaking the silence.
“I was,” I answered. “I had a fight with-”
I trailed off, realising Miguel was not the best person to tell.
“Will?” he finished. “He'll get over it.”
I shrugged, unwilling to debate my unfaithfulness with the man I'd cheated on.
It felt unnatural to be near to him and not be touching him. We were always holding hands, or hugging and the distance felt wrong. His hand twitched involuntarily, like he thought the same thing.
“Leah,” he began, but his eyes darkened.
It wasn't until I felt electricity surge through me as two warm hands rested on my waist that I realised why.
“Excuse me,” Radleigh said, as he stepped around me, his hands lingering on me for a moment longer than necessary.
I shot him a glare. His timing was unbelievable. As I turned to look at Miguel again, I saw him walking away.
“Sorry,” Radleigh said. “Did I interrupt something?”
His tone wasn't entirely genuine, but I was too disheartened to yell at him. With tears in my eyes, I looked up at him. “Go to hell.”
I took one last glance at the retreating figure of Miguel, then turned and began to walk down the steps.
“Leah, wait,” Radleigh said, placing his hands on my shoulders.
“Let go of me,” I said, but he didn’t.
“Come with me.”
He led me downstairs to the locker room and sat me down on one of the benches.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Saving you from sitting alone in your office feeling guilty,” he replied, taking a seat beside me.
“Unless you can turn back the clock, you can’t help me.”
“Even if I could, I wouldn't.”
Funny how two people can view the exact same event in different ways.
“Everyone's talking about us. They all think we slept together.”
He smiled. “We did.”
“This is all so funny for you, isn't it?” I snapped. “Everyone thinks I'm a slut!”
“Who said that?”
“That’s just it, nobody says anything! They just give me looks, like I’m the most horrible person in the world. Although, Will wasn’t shy about making his thoughts clear.”
“Will acts like he has a pole shoved up his ass,” Radleigh said. “This isn't a big deal.”
“You really believe that?”
“I do. I'm used to causing scandal.”
“Well, I'm not. This is a complete mess. I don't … I don’t know how to fix it.”
“You can't. You just have to wait until everything blows over.”
“And how long will that take?”
Radleigh grinned again. “Well, I could always sleep with someone else to speed things up,” he suggested. “Or maybe we should sleep together again and really give them something to talk about.”
“Oh, sod off,” I said, standing up. “This isn't a joke. It's okay for you, people expect you to sleep around. For me, this is torture. I almost lost my job!”
“Still blaming me?”
“I'm not blaming you! I …” I trailed off, and turned my back on him, trying to get a grip on my frustration. When I was more composed, I turned to him again. “You know what you said about me yesterday? About me thinking you'd forced yourself on Taylor, yet I still chose to sleep with you?” He nodded, and I continued, “You were right. I am worse than you. I mean, what kind of person does that?”
“The kind of person that knew I didn't do it?”
My doubts were minimal at best.
“I believed her.”
“Then everyone's right,” he said. “You are a slut.”
I was ready to shout at him again, when his face broke into a smile.
“I never said you were worse than me. But denying the truth is never a good thing.”
“The truth being … what?”
“You were bored with Miguel. I've seen it a thousand times before and you're no exception, Leah. You're feisty, and independent. I'm sure Miguel was very nice and all, but he wasn’t right for you. You need someone who challenges and excites you. Miguel could never give you that.”
I stared at McCoy in shock. He'd summed up exactly what type of person I was and, to my displeasure, what type of guy I needed.
“And I suppose you think you could give me what I want?”
“I thought I did.”
Memories of that night flooded into my brain. The way his hands knew where I wanted them to go, the way he’d kissed me like he couldn’t get enough, the way he’d looked at me as if there was nowhere else he wanted to be. He made me forget everything, made me focus only on him until we were both so exhausted, we fell into a shag-happy coma.
And it was exactly what I wanted.
I couldn't stand the intensity with which he was watching me, I had to turn away. His blue eyes were burning into me.
“Someone who is good in bed is not the only thing I need,” I told him.
“But it’s important. You got on my case because I said I haven’t found anyone who’s good enough in bed to make me want to stick around, but you’re not so different.”
A protest formed on my lips, but what was the point in arguing? I didn’t agree that we were alike, but considering the way I used to be, telling him great sex wasn’t high on my list of vital ingredients in a relationship would have been a blatant lie.
After leaving Radleigh in his dressing room I had difficulty shaking the conversation from my mind. Something about the tone of his voice, and the truth he’d spoken about what I looked for in a man had got to me. The problem was, the only men I’d ever known who challenged and excited me were the ones who didn’t want to be in a relationship. They wanted to challenge and excite multiple women, with no concern for who they hurt. Miguel was the closest I’d ever got to having everything I wanted, and somehow, it still wasn’t enough.
When the end of the day rolled around, I was relieved. The easiest part of my afternoon was my session with Bryce. Aside from Freya, he was the only person who didn’t think I deserved to be treated so harshly. He assured me that there were really only a handful of people who were looking at me differently. Most of the guys on the team didn’t care for gossip and those who did would forget about it soon enough.
I couldn’t wait to knock back a few glasses of vodka when I got home, but someone was waiting for me outside.
Jesse.
His face, u
sually radiating happiness, was drawn and confused. I didn’t know how he was going to react to me in light of the fact that I’d found out about Taylor’s accusations way before he did, and I was part of the reason she got caught out.
“Hi,” I said.
Jesse’s eyes filled with tears. I rushed towards him, letting him collapse against me. The sound of his sobs broke my heart and I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly for a long time. When he’d released enough of his grief to speak, he looked up, red-eyed and said, “Can we go for a walk?”
I nodded. “Sure. Let’s go to the beach.”
I linked my arm through his, and we took the shortcut beside my apartment building until our feet reached the hot sand.
I could tell Jesse had a lot of questions and I wanted so much to apologise to him for not telling him everything Taylor had done but the words wouldn’t come. My heart was heavy because of the stupid things I’d done, but it weighed so much heavier when I thought about what Jesse was going through.
We kept walking until we reached Genie’s, a small bar situated on the beach which was often the haunt of surfers relaxing after a day of riding the waves. We went inside and ordered some soft drinks before sitting down in one of the booths.
“Jesse, I’m so sorry,” I said, finally breaking the silence. “I should’ve… I didn’t …”
“I’m not mad at you. If I was, I wouldn’t be here. I wanted to apologise.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I think what Taylor did is partly my fault. I’ve been thinking about it, and I knew she always had a thing for McCoy, even before the night at the club. I had no idea she was crazy but I think she was kind of … jealous of you.”
It was an insane notion that a gorgeous eighteen-year-old with a hot boyfriend and a bright future as a soccer wife might be jealous of a twenty-six year old who spent a large proportion of her time fending off a horny sportsman. But in her warped mind, I suppose it made sense.
“She never admitted to it,” Jesse went on. “But I think she’d been following McCoy for months. She didn’t like how much attention he paid to you. She used to make little digs about you, saying stupid stuff like how she didn’t understand what he saw in you.”
