Brokedown Cowboy

by Maisey Yates

“THE WEATHER SAYS this is going to be the last nice day in a while. I think we should head up the mountain and go to Horseshoe Falls.” Liss finished her last bite of breakfast and looked up at Connor expectantly.

  It was a little bit crisp outside, but the sun was already breaking through the clouds, and after a week spent behind her desk, all she wanted for her Saturday was to escape into the mountains. Solitude would’ve probably been the smarter choice, but once Connor had come downstairs, in flannel and worn jeans, she’d been unable to pass up the chance of spending the day with him.

  Because he was her best friend, not because of his jeans. Or the way they fit. Or the way he looked wearing only the underwear that was undoubtedly beneath them.

  It was not about that at all. It was about friendship and togetherness and not the fine muscular structure of his thighs.

  “I shouldn’t skip out on work,” Connor said, gripping the edge of the counter and leaning back against it.

  “Just a couple of hours, Connor. A quick hike to the top of the trail.”

  “Yeah, that long to the top, and then we have to hike down.”

  “If you lie down on the trail, I can give you a good shove and maybe you can roll back down to the ranch,” she said, trying to look innocent.

  He lifted his coffee mug to his lips. “Felicity Foster, if I fall I’m going to grab on to your ankles and bring you with me.”

  He was teasing her, a humorous light in his dark eyes, and yet for some reason his words made her stomach knot up tight. “Right. So, are we going to do this or not?”

  “Okay, let’s do this. But you have to pack peanut butter sandwiches.”

  “I think I can handle that,” she said, smiling brightly.

  “Then let’s go.”

  * * *

  THE TRAIL THAT led up to Horseshoe Falls was almost completely closed in by trees. Shades of green filled in every available space. Ferns grew over the ground like a lush, velvet carpeting. The sun could only peek through the few windows in the branches, moss thriving in the near constant shade, growing on all sides of the trees and over the gray, craggy rocks.

  Liss’s boot slipped on a patch of mud on the trail, and she pitched forward slightly, speeding up her steps to keep her balance. She reached out, grabbing a hold of Connor’s shoulder to keep from doing a face-plant.

  He stopped walking and looked at her. “Careful. I’m not chasing after you if you roll over the ledge.”

  “I am being careful. But some of this trail is a little bit sludgier than I anticipated.”

  “You were the one who said it was a good day to hike.”

  She released her hold on him, and they resumed walking. “It is. It’s a fantastic day to hike.” She breathed in deep, relishing the crisp air that smelled like pine and soil. “I don’t think we’ve gone hiking up here since before summer.”

  “It’s been a while.”

  “So,” she said, knowing that she had just engaged in the clumsiest conversation transition of all time, “do you have plans for getting the construction of the barn started?”

  “I’m working on it. I talked to Eli a couple of days ago, and he wants to have his election-night party in the new barn. Which means it needs to get going.”

  “Excellent. Because I have an idea.”

  He stopped in the middle of the trail and turned, his hands on his lean hips, one of his dark brows raised. “Oh, shit. You have an idea?”

  “I’m really not sure how I feel about that reaction. Again, I feel compelled to remind you that normal people are thankful when their friends try to help them.”

  “You can sometimes be a little bit overexcited in your help. Forgive me for feeling cautious.”

  “You are forgiven,” she said, waving her hand. The fact was, in Connor’s estimation this would be considered overexcited help. And she knew it. But she also felt as if it was the best way to get things moving. “I think we should have a barn raising.”

  “I’m sorry, did you hit your head and start hallucinating that you lived in a 1950s musical?”

  “No. I did not. But the fact is, most of the town was there when the barn burned down. I feel like they would love for this chance to give back to you and help you get back on your feet.”

  “I wasn’t exactly down on my ass.”

  She crossed her arms beneath her breasts and stared him down. “Yes, you were.”

  “Not as much lately.”

  He was right; she had not discovered him passed out on the couch once since she’d moved in. So that was progress.

  “Do we really need to make it a party?”

  “I figured it would be great. I think it would be great for Eli, it would be wonderful for Sadie and it will get your barn off the ground a lot faster.”

  “We’ll discuss it.”

  “We will. We’re going to discuss it tomorrow, in fact. I already talked to Sadie, and she wants to have me come over tomorrow afternoon for tea and talk of logistics.”

  “Tea and logistics? You’re going to do this whether I fucking want to or not, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah, I fucking am,” she said, smiling. “And you should want me to do it because it’s smart. And I’m smart. And Sadie is smart, and we’re all smart. So get on and hold on, cowboy.”

  “Liss, you are lucky as hell that you buy my groceries. And that you’re adorable.”

  Liss ignored the tightening in her stomach. “It’s true, I am adorable. But I am fierce. And I will have my way.”

  “I am familiar with your fierceness. But look, I don’t want this to get out of hand. And with the way the barn was originally, I’m going to have to have professionals do the finish work. But as far as getting the frame up, the more hands, the better. And I can definitely see your point where that is concerned.”

  “Excellent! I love when you can see my very valid, perfectly logical points. Even if it takes you a while.”

  He reached out, and her breath caught in her throat, resting there like a little ball. He reached behind her head and grabbed the end of her ponytail, tugging it gently. “Why do your logical points have to be wrapped up in my worst nightmares?”

  He released his hold on her hair, but he was still very close to her. She was having a hard time breathing. Stupid fresh air. It had to be the fresh air. It was too pure or something.

  “I don’t mean to be...your worst nightmare,” she said, hoping her voice didn’t sound as thin and shaky to him as it did to her own ears.

  “You aren’t my worst nightmare. But your desire to see me socialize is.”

  She nodded, her head feeling a little bit fuzzy now. If she wanted to, she could reach right out and touch his bottom lip. Could trace the outline of it with her thumb. Not that she would. Why would she do that? Why would anyone do that? Why would anyone even think of that?

  Never mind the fact that it was a very nice bottom lip. Even framed by his beard. Or maybe especially framed by his beard. Really, it was hard to find fault.

  Better than tracing the outline of it would be tasting it.

  That thought found her stumbling backward, away from him.

  “Whoa!” Connor reached out and grabbed her forearm, tugging her back toward him, obviously afraid she had tripped, rather than rightly guessing that she was scurrying away from him because she had just had a fantasy about licking his face. And suddenly, she was on the exact opposite trajectory from the one she had intended to be on. She was not only closer to Connor than she had been only a moment ago, but her breasts were pressed against his chest.

  Holy crap. She was dizzy.

  She should say something. She should break his hold. She should step on his foot and run screaming down the trail back toward civilization. Really, she should do anything but what she was doing. Which was just staying in his hold, resti
ng up against his solidly muscled chest, allowing the heat from his body to wash over her.

  “Are you...okay?” he asked, still holding on to her.

  “Yes,” she said, swallowing hard.

  She realized with no small amount of uncertainty that had Jack stumbled back on the trail, Connor would not be holding him to his chest at this moment. She realized that the only reason he was still holding on to her was that she was a woman. Even if she was his friend.

  She wasn’t sure what to do with that information.

  Obviously, they didn’t view each other as genderless. They never had. It wasn’t as though they changed in the same locker rooms. But still, this was interesting. And he was still holding her.

  What would happen if she leaned in? The idea entered her head and stuck. But she didn’t do it. She simply froze, waiting. Waiting to see what he would do next. Waiting to see what she would do next.

  “Well, we better keep going if we want to make it to the top.”

  “Yes,” she said, extricating herself from his hold.

  Suddenly, she was very conscious of the fact that she had just sort of melted into him, and had spent nearly a full minute lingering. She was also suddenly conscious of just how revealing that was.

  Stupid. Stupid and dangerous and stupid.

  “Yes, the top. Views, and waterfalls and shit,” she said, her tone overly bright.

  “Okay. To the top.” Connor turned away from her and started to walk back up the trail, and Liss followed behind trying to get a grip on her sanity.

  Though she feared, at this point, it might be beyond her reach.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CONNOR HAD SERIOUSLY fucked up. There was no doubt about it.

  He walked into his bedroom and slammed the door behind him, kicking off his boots and leaving them where they landed, moving through to his bathroom.

  Yeah, he was an idiot. When he had taken a hold of Liss back on the trail, he hadn’t been thinking about the thong. Or more specifically about the fact that his best friend was a woman.

  Which was the crux of the issue. He imagined that her underwear could’ve been cotton with full coverage on the ass and little white bunnies printed on the fabric, and it would have had the same effect. Okay, maybe not the exact same effect, but an effect nonetheless. Because it reminded him that she was very much female. With female undergarments.

  He hadn’t touched female undergarments in way too long. He was thinking of them as female undergarments, and if that didn’t say it all, he didn’t know what would.

  But now he had held her up against his body, in combination with feeling her underwear. And somehow he was having a barn raising.

  Yes, somewhere in all of this he had gone wrong. Very, very wrong.

  He stripped his shirt off and turned the water on in the shower, working at his belt before taking his jeans and underwear off. He was a mess. But then, that was nothing new. It was just suddenly some of his mess was tangled up in Liss, and seeing as she was usually his well-ordered sanity, that was a problem.

  He took a deep breath and thought of that moment on the trail again. How her skin had felt beneath his hands as he caught her, how her breasts had felt pressed up against his chest as he held her tight.

  And his dick was getting hard. Perfect.

  His dick had basically been asleep for the past three years. And now he was getting wood over his best friend. Because he had touched her panties, because she lived in his house, because he knew how soft her skin was and because he hadn’t gotten laid in three years.

  He gritted his teeth and stepped into the shower, not caring if the water was hot or cold. Actually, cold might be good.

  It wasn’t cold, and he couldn’t bring himself to add to his torture by freezing his balls off.

  He rested his forearm against the shower wall and leaned his forehead against the tile. What was happening? He had very little in the way of stability in his life, and Liss was a cornerstone of the crumbling foundation he did have.

  You did not mess that shit up for the sake of a hard-on.

  He turned around and took the bar of soap off the wire rack that still hung around the showerhead, in spite of the fact that he never put anything in it but a bar of Irish Spring, and it had space for all kinds of shampoos and conditioners.

  He gritted his teeth as he rubbed the soap over his skin, trying to keep himself detached from any of the sensations he was feeling thanks to the slickness of the suds combined with the hot water.

  It felt good. And it made him want more. Made him want to reach down and take a hold of himself, because damn that would feel nice.

  But no. His penis didn’t deserve nice things.

  Especially not since it was getting overexcited about Liss.

  Just thinking her name brought a picture of her into his mind again. Golden eyes looking at him, all wide and surprised, and those breasts... Yeah, they were nice breasts. He was acutely aware of that fact now that he had been in such close contact with them.

  His cock jerked and he lowered his hand, wrapping his fingers around himself and squeezing tight.

  Heat tore through him, and he braced himself on the wall, a harsh sound ripping from his lips. How long had it been since he’d come? A long time. Pretty much not since the last time he’d had sex. And he knew how long that had been.

  But he’d wanted to fantasize about his dead wife. In his mind, that just hadn’t seemed right. And he’d never been in a space where he felt as if he could fantasize about anyone else, either. Well, want hadn’t really come into it. His body had violently rejected both options for sexual satisfaction, and so he had remained unsatisfied. But for some reason, this was working for him.

  He was so tempted.

  No one will know. Just do it. Just do it and get back to normal.

  He did not argue with his internal voice of reason for too long.

  Mainly because getting off was on the horizon, and he desperately wanted to get off. Just a few minutes of oblivion. A couple of seconds of blank white light were all he felt was good. He hadn’t realized until this moment just how badly he missed it. How badly he needed it.

  So he squeezed himself tighter, running his palm along his hard length, his breath hissing through his teeth. Yeah, this would be fine.

  He closed his eyes as he continued to touch himself, visions of Liss, Liss as she had been today, how soft her hair had felt, how she had looked at him. And then he went deeper, into those forbidden fantasies he had been fighting since that day in the laundry room.

  Images of Liss wearing nothing but that thong, the color vibrant against her skin, her coppery hair spilling over her shoulders. She was so pale. Her nipples would be pale, too.

  His heart was thundering hard, his blood running through his veins. He lowered his head, quickening the strokes of his hand, bracing himself against the shower wall with the other as his release tore through him, raging around inside him like an animal. And for a glorious moment, there was nothing. There was no pain, there was no barn, no responsibilities at all.

  There was nothing but complete, pure pleasure. And seductive, golden eyes that could only belong to one woman.

  And he grabbed that moment and held on to it for as long as he could.

  But as always, damn reality started to crowd in far too soon.

  And then he was just standing there, bare-ass naked with the realization that he had just gotten his rocks off fantasizing about his best friend.

  Shame crawled over his skin like an army of ants.

  He turned and shut the water off, grabbing a towel and drying himself off as roughly as possible. He deserved for the towel to scrape off his skin. He certainly didn’t deserve to hang out basking in good feelings.

  He was an asshole.

  An assho
le who was suddenly exhausted. Who still had a barn raising looming in the future, and would have to face his friend at some point in the near future.

  He sat down on the edge of his bed. He considered going down to the kitchen to get a drink. But there were two problems with that. The first being that Liss might still be up. The second being that if he got even a little bit drunk he couldn’t be responsible for what else might happen. For the past three years getting drunk meant one thing, seeking oblivion. But now that his libido seemed to be back in action, getting drunk might mean lower inhibitions and poor decision making, much like it had back in his early twenties. And with Liss in the house, with him this close to the edge...

  No, no alcohol for him.

  Fortunately, he was actually feeling tired. Nothing like an orgasm to knock you out. He had forgotten how effective it could be.

  He had forgotten how good it was.

  And he was going to forget again. Well, maybe not the orgasm part. But what had gotten him there. That was off-limits. Never again.

  He closed his eyes and let his exhaustion wash over him. He was sleeping now. Everything else could wait until tomorrow.

  * * *

  WHEN CONNOR CAME BACK to the house for lunch, he hoped very much to avoid Liss. Because unfortunately, last night’s little slipup had not been forgotten about in the cold light of day. On the contrary, it seemed more vivid.

  His first thought when his eyes had opened that morning had been of Liss in her thong. And then, because it was morning, he had an erection. And his immediate thought had been to take himself in hand, using the image that he now knew was tried and true, while he worked his way toward the kind of oblivion that couldn’t be found in the bottom of a bottle.

  He had not. Because, dammit, he had a moral compass even if it was wonky.

  So he had gotten into a cold shower, got dressed as quickly as possible and stomped out of the house without eating any breakfast.

  He was back now, and thanks to the past four hours of hard labor with no breakfast to fuel him up, he was now starving and willing to take a chance of running into Liss.

  And of course, thirty seconds after walking through the door, he did.