He let out a deep sigh and dropped his head against the back of the sofa. This sure as hell wasn’t a relationship-ending issue, but it was something he definitely wanted to see change. Whatever that looked like. He dug his palms into his eyes and fought the headache threatening to take over his skull with the thumping ache.
Maybe suggesting counseling would be a good place to start.
He tried to assemble a speech in his head, one that hopefully wouldn’t result in yet another battle, where he suggested just that. The unlatching of the door down the hall and softly padding feet cut into his thoughts.
Kelsey sat on the couch beside him and pulled one of his hands into her lap. The evidence of dried tears on her cheeks and red, swollen eyes made Connor want to kiss it all away.
She focused on where their fingers locked together and rested against her leg. A fresh, fat drop rolled down her face when she brought her gaze up to meet his. “We need to talk.”
***
Kelsey
Nine Months Earlier
Not a single cell in her body blamed Connor for the hesitant expression on his face. She’d been an unreasonable bitch. Not just today, but increasingly over the past couple of years. Every time a petty issue like cleaning the house came up, her anger skyrocketed off the charts before even she could keep up with it. Connor certainly didn’t have a hope of following along.
“I’m sorry.” She choked out the words past her throat, thickened with emotion. A new wave of tears threatened to spill over, but she swallowed them down. “I’m so sorry, Connor. I was frustrated and annoyed, but you didn’t deserve that.”
His thumb made circles on the back of her hand, but he didn’t respond. “What’s wrong, Kels? It’s more than this; I know it is. Listen, I know I drive you crazy when I’m messy, and I know it annoys the hell out of you, but…this isn’t you.”
She dipped her chin and looked up at him through her lashes. “To be completely fair, you drive me crazy in a lot of ways.”
Connor’s lips twitched. “You can’t seduce me out of talking about this, gorgeous.” He winked. “But make-up sex can totally be on the table.”
Kelsey scooted a little closer to him on the couch. “Make-up sex would imply you’ve forgiven me for being a harpy bitch.”
His hand moved to cup her cheek. “I’ve already forgiven you. But you need to tell me what’s wrong.”
Her stomach clenched, and her mind screamed out into the void that she had no clue. She wanted to know what was throwing her on this wild emotional ride that never seemed to end. She wanted to know why she could barely keep her eyes open at the end of the day. More than anything she wanted to know what the hell was going on to make her body send her into intense pain with the irregular cycles.
But talking about her own health had never been easy. In high school, she’d merely waited until her check-up with her pediatrician to mention the migraines that plagued her rather than cluing her own mother in. It was a frustrating trait she inherited from her father that never seemed to improve for either of them over the years.
“I don’t know, honestly.” She pulled her brows together. “It might just be everything—the stress of work and rebuilding the office and building our home—”
“And the fact you never sleep?” His tone held the weight of the concern he’d voiced to her often.
She tilted her head to allow her hair to drape in front of her face and hide the heat creeping up her cheeks from his sight. “That too.”
Connor moved to grip her chin. “Listen, Kels, I love you, and our relationship sure as hell isn’t going to end over dirty socks and sleepless nights, but we’ve gotta find a better way to handle this, yeah? Like maybe talking before your head explodes?”
Kelsey made a mental note to call the doctor first thing Monday morning and schedule a check-up to address her concerns. Once she’d talked to him and come up with a plan, she’d discuss it with Connor. There was certainly no need to bring him into anything until she had answers and a way to manage everything.
“Yeah, Picasso, we can definitely do that.” She climbed into his lap, straddling his legs. “Now I believe you said something about make-up sex?”
He flipped her onto her back on the narrow couch, and his lips landed on her neck. “Oh hell yes, I did,” he breathed the words against her neck and centered her world the way only Connor Carlisle could.
Chapter
Twenty-Seven
Connor
Present Day
Kelsey’s hand dropped to Connor’s bouncing knee, and he looked up at her. The soft smile curling her lips combined with the gentle touch was enough to calm the nerves racing through him.
“I know this sounds crazy—”
She shook her head and pressed her fingers more firmly into his leg. “No. Whatever you are about to say, no. That night was horrific and traumatizing, and whatever this means to you, whatever peace or comfort you might find from knowing what happened to that family is definitely not crazy.”
“I thought about you.” The words practically exploded from his chest. Ones he’d never intended on actually voicing.
Kelsey blinked slowly. “Me?”
Connor angled himself on the sofa to face her more directly and gripped her hands firmly in his, holding them against his thigh. “I kept thinking that could be my wife, my kids. What would I want someone to do if they saw my family in that situation?” He lifted one shoulder slightly. “I would hope that someone would try to help you.”
Without warning, she threw herself into his arms and melded her mouth with his. “You’re a hero, Connor Carlisle,” she panted out the words when they finally broke apart.
Moments later, the doorbell rang, and Connor’s stomach turned into an enormous ball of ice. Kelsey stroked one hand down the side of his face in silent encouragement before disentangling herself from his embrace. She waved him to the front door as she readjusted her wine-colored sweater dress with visibly shaking hands.
Inexplicably, her nervousness managed to calm his own slightly. This was no longer just his mission to find the family and confirm that they were all as happy and safe as possible, it was theirs.
Connor led the older man into the living room and took his place beside Kelsey, immediately pulling her hand into his lap.
Allen lifted one graying brow as he slowly lowered himself onto the seat diagonal from them. “You have…company?” He cleared his throat and opened the black leather folder in his lap. “I am assuming she’s aware of why I’m here.”
Tightening his already firm grip on her hand, Connor nodded. “She’s my wife. She’s part of this too.” He tilted his head and grinned at Kelsey. “Damn, I really love saying that.”
She flattened her mouth into a repressed smile. “It’s only been a few days. I hope the shine hasn’t worn off yet.”
Allen’s expressionless face failed to show a modicum of shock, but he blinked slowly several times. “That was…rather fast.” He shuffled some papers before sitting back in the chair in as relaxed of a pose as Connor imagined he could ever affect.
Ignoring the older man’s comment, Connor dipped his chin toward the stack of documents in the other man’s lap. “What did you find?”
He rested his elbows on the arms of the chair and steepled his fingers in front of him. “You know that there were hundreds of people involved in the accident. Several fatalities, and even more serious injuries.”
Without conscious thought, Connor ran his free hand down his thigh, the jagged scars no longer as prominent, but still sensitive to the touch beneath his pants. “None of this is new information.”
Allen narrowed his gaze slightly. “I told you when we started that the children were going to be the hardest because information on minors is much more closely guarded.” He paused for a moment. “I was finally able to locate records on the mother.”
Kelsey’s thumb made a small circle on the back of Connor’s hand, giving him the grounding contact he needed before the m
emories that hung at the back of his mind took control just from the few comments Allen had made. The ones he hoped could finally be exorcised—at least slightly—by finding answers and something moderately positive in the middle of all the lingering pain.
“Records? You didn’t find her?” Another dead end was the last thing he needed. The entire reason he’d gone to the length to hire the private investigator was because he’d hit so many roadblocks on his own.
Regret and concern etched lines on the older man’s face. “I know that you were hoping for a miraculous ending, but I am sorry to tell you that Paula Stevens died a few days after the accident. I’m sorry.”
Wave after wave of conflicting emotions battered against Connor’s heart. Having an answer, any answer, had been his goal, and finally having concrete knowledge offered a tiny bit of relief. But confirmation that the one person in the accident he’d formed the unlikely bond with after only exchanging a handful of words hit him far harder than he expected. She had been a stranger, never was more than that, but the traumatic events had created an oddly linked chain between them. One he couldn’t process missing.
He shook his head. “Her kids. What about her kids?”
Allen passed a large envelope over to Connor. “Their names are Cassidy and Logan. The father died shortly after their youngest, the boy, was born. There are no other family members.”
Beside him, Kelsey piped up for the first time. “But they survived, right? They’re okay?”
He nodded. “They’ve been placed in the foster care system.”
The words jumbled in Connor’s mind. He drew his brows tightly together, trying desperately to make sense of it all. Countless moments passed with silence blanketing the trio before he finally pulled his thoughts together.
“I want to see them.”
***
Kelsey
Present Day
Frowning down at the chart laid out in front of her, Kelsey finally closed the file with a heavy sigh. It was pointless to try to concentrate when her brain was firmly focused on her husband. For the past week since the private investigator left them with all the information he’d gathered, Connor had been quiet and withdrawn.
As if the very thought of him conjured him into existence, three taps on her office door brought her head up to see Connor standing in her open doorway. The lopsided grin eased a fraction of the worry tugging at her psyche.
“Up for a lunch break with your husband?”
Without a moment’s hesitation, she pressed the button on the computer monitor and stood. “Definitely.” She crossed the room and wound her arms around his waist. “You look…happy.”
He locked her in a firm embrace and dropped his mouth to hers for a soft kiss that quickly turned into more. “I’d be happier if you’d let me take you home, but you like to be the responsible one in this marriage.” He rolled his eyes playfully. “So I guess we need to behave.”
Kelsey stepped out of his hold to grab her purse and winked at him. “But good behavior gets rewarded.” She pushed past him, smiling at his responding groan, and headed out the back door to the staff parking lot.
Connor quickly caught up with her, and the familiar ache thumped with the next several beats of her heart at his limp. “I’m pretty well trained.” He pulled open the passenger door of his SUV with a wink. “And lunch will absolutely prove it.”
As always, he delivered on his promise. His artistic creativity wasn’t limited to oils, canvas, charcoal, and his sketchpad. Connor somehow managed to create the most thoughtful and unique dates. Simplistic, genuine, and perfect.
He slid into the parking space overlooking Lake Lure easily and pulled out the bag from behind her seat that had been teasing her nose the entire drive. He quirked his lips into a half smile.
Kelsey peeked inside the paper flap. “Greasy burgers and fries. You sure know the way to a girl’s heart there, Picasso.”
“Not just any burger and fries.” He tapped the receipt stapled to the outside.
The thick paper was slick against her skin and caused an inexplicable lump to form in her throat. “Our first date.”
With a wide grin, Connor climbed out of the car and tugged open her door, helping her out, and then lifting her onto the hood, just as he had done that first night. He dropped a kiss on her lips before jumping up beside her. “I am one lucky bastard that they’re still open. This wouldn’t be half as romantic if I couldn’t recreate it just right.”
“I am supposed to be the perfectionist here.” She bumped into him with her shoulder and took a big bite of the burger. “What are you sucking up for, anyway?”
His gaze stayed fixed out on the water rippling in front of them, nearly completely uninhabited in the early spring chill. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since we met with Allen.”
She captured her bottom lip between her teeth and stared at the meal in her lap, hoping the fried food might offer a miraculously perfect response. “I noticed.”
He turned slightly, the hood protesting the movement with a precarious thunk. “We are a family. No matter what.”
Kelsey frowned, set her food on the metal surface beside her, and laced her fingers through his. “I know that. I…I know I did a shit job of showing you by bailing without even talking and thinking I knew what was best for you without actually asking you, but now?” She released his hand long enough to cup his face. “I believe that with every part of me.”
“Allen said they were in a group home and,” Connor shook his head, “I can’t stand the thought of them being there. Not after everything they went through. Not after that night.”
It was the same thing that had floated through her mind since the PI had delivered the news. A thought that tortured her at night when she laid in bed staring at the ceiling in the wake of another of Connor’s nightmares. “I agree. Completely.”
He took a long, deep inhale and dropped his gaze to their joined hands. “I want to see them. Cassidy and Logan. I want to talk to them. And…”
She let the silence hang between them for a long time before she tightened her hold on him. “And?”
Connor lifted his eyes and locked them with hers, nearly stealing her breath with the intensity blazing in the sapphire depths. “It will be work. It will be hard. Hell, they may not want me around them for longer than five minutes, reminding them of the night they lost their mom, but I want to meet them, and…I want to adopt them.”
Her steadily increasing pulse stopped and every cell in her body stilled. She struggled to pull the avalanche of words tumbling through her mind into some sort of logical statement.
“I know this sounds crazy and these kids have been through a hell that makes my recovery look like a cakewalk, but if they don’t hate us on sight, I’d like to try.”
She released his hand and brought hers up to mirror the cradle hold she already had on his other cheek and pulled his lips to hers, pouring every emotion she was incapable of verbalizing into the action. And barely banked the urge to go much further when a tiny voice echoed in the back of her skull reminding her that they were in public.
After the unspoken sentiment was already conveyed, she leaned back and broke the kiss. “I want to try, too.”
Chapter
Twenty-Eight
Connor
Nine Months Earlier
Asleep again.
Connor frowned as he softly latched the door to their home shut, hoping to not wake her. He twisted his lips to the side and stood at the foot of the couch watching for several of her slow, moderated breaths as Kelsey slumbered.
Something was wrong.
He knew it in his gut. He’d tried to make her see it and believe it and address it. The phone in the front pocket of his jeans chose that moment to ring. He fumbled to get it free and silence the blaring tone before it woke her.
Shit. Wyatt.
His brother had only been back home a few weeks and was already knee deep in trying to win back his high school sweetheart. Connor
snorted and slid his finger across the glass to connect the call. If Georgia was anything like he remembered, that was going to take a lot more patience than his brother normally showed for any human. Only feisty colts usually saw the true depth of Wyatt that he tried to keep hidden.
But Georgia had managed to wrangle that out of him once. Who knew what she was capable of now?
“Hey, Wy.” He lowered his voice to being barely above a whisper. “What’s up?”
“Why the hell do you sound like you’re in a library?” As always, his older brother affected a far more embellished southern drawl than he actually possessed. “Or a damn funeral home.”
Connor padded to the glass door that was attached to the back deck. He slid it open with a whoosh and closed it behind him with a soft click before answering. “I’m at home, you ass. Kelsey’s sleeping, and I didn’t want to wake her up.”
A pause long enough to make Connor wonder if their call had been disconnected hung between them. Wyatt cleared his throat. “You and Tanner are both disgusting.”
He grinned at the trees dotting the back of his yard. The enigma that had always been Wyatt had a sudden desire for the things Connor and Tanner both wanted forever. Home. Family. Stability. “Aw, what’s wrong, big brother? Georgia not making this whole pulling your ass out of the hole you dug situation easy?”
Several colorful names later, Wyatt sighed. “Listen, I need your help. I’ve got a date planned with Gigi,” the sarcasm dripping from the word “date” echoed across the line, “and I’m cashing in the favors I’ve earned from helping Tanner. You and Dean get to assist free of charge.”
Connor’s stomach involuntarily tightened. Wyatt might have been part of Tanner’s schemes to charm Izzy when they first met, but his brother wasn’t here for the darkness that nearly tore Tanner and Izzy apart.
Meant To Be Family (Meant To Be Series Book 3) Page 18
