At that moment, I realized how easy it’d been to tap into the Netherworld. It was as much a part of me as the blood running through my veins. It’d always been there, ever since the near-drowning in the lake. An ingrained part of me that once found, answered the remainder of my questions.
While I could relate to the questions she had, since I had a thousand of my own, I doubted her reasoning to find answers was that her ghost lover needed rescuing. But I surmised the sensation she spoke of was what Wayde mentioned and Gretchen confirmed. Could it be possible? Was my eerie sensation around ghosts actually the feeling of the Netherworld?
There is where I found my peace, but soon, I came to discover my choice to remain didn’t belong to me. My presence lasted only a short time. Now I assume it has something to do with sleep patterns, since I awoke and remembered my time there. Let this be said, I will journey there again, and as often as I can, until I understand why I’m so connected to a place that is meant for no one to belong.
I exhaled the breath I hadn’t known I held and looked at Gretchen. “Says here, Nettie knew she belonged in the Netherworld and yes, it explains the sensation I feel well enough.” Then, to Wayde I said, “But it doesn’t say how I’ll get there.”
Gretchen gasped, dragging my focus to her, and her hands were over her mouth, eyes wide. Locked in her knowing stare, understanding simmered right through me in an instant and the answer became all too clear. Wayde had said it himself: for him, it would be impossible; for me, it was simple.
“I don’t need to learn anything, do I?” At the slow shake of Wayde’s head, I swallowed deep and then managed, “I’m already gifted the right to be there.”
“Exactly.” Wayde took the book out of my hands. “You only need to be aware, and then open your mind to what you’re feeling. The veil is yours to cross. Right there awaiting you. You simply need to make the conscious choice to go. It’s that simple—nothing complex.”
Perhaps Nettie had been more willing to accept her gifts and see for herself what made her tick, but I hadn’t ever been so accommodating. Each event since I met Kipp had brought me closer to understanding what I could do, and why. Right now was no exception. My world had been very small and I realized how much I shut down. How much I ignored everything right in front of me.
Now, I’d never seen anything so clearly.
Why did the hardest things in life sometimes seem so easy with just the right perspective?
Chapter Nine
The softness of the mattress beneath me made sleeping easy. After all I’d been through, plus the thought I might see Kipp again, my eyelids became heavy the moment I climbed into the large four-poster bed.
In the fancy bedroom, my broken fingernails and crunchy hair reminded me I did not fit in here…at all. Everything declared this space for the wealthy, from the rich red curtains, crown moldings surrounding the burgundy painted walls, and no doubt ridiculously expensive artwork on canvasses. Even the gold satin embroidered bedspread appeared more like something a celebrity should be sleeping in than little ole’ me, further reminding me to get this done as quickly as I could. I needed to go back to Memphis where things made sense.
“So…” Gretchen shut the door behind her and turned to me with a smile. “I didn’t want to ask out there with Wayde, but have you ever noticed yourself going into the Netherworld?”
Again, the dream with Kipp lingered on my mind. Not as if I’d go into that with Gretchen, since I doubted she wanted to hear about my X-rated fantasy. “I’m not sure.” Not a total lie considering I honestly didn’t know. Perhaps I misread the dream. “Besides, it’s horrifying to think I might have gone there.”
“Agreed.” Gretchen sat next to me and the mattress didn’t even bounce within the solid wood frame. “It’s peculiar.”
“Especially if I had no clue I was doing it.” I settled into a comfy position on my back and pulled the thick blanket under my arms. While the thought of seeing Kipp made butterflies bounce in my belly, nerves lived there, too. I still didn’t know why he left. The last time he saw me I was kissing the jackass, Dane. Of course, now it made perfect sense why Dane went in that direction, to ensure Kipp would leave. Oh, how fooled I’d been, but not anymore.
My head was clear, my purpose even more so. Still, concerns rattled me. I wouldn’t dive in without having a sense of my own safety. I might love Kipp, but I wanted to love him alive, not dead. “Let’s say I haven’t done this before. Do you think I’m in any danger attempting to travel there?”
“Honestly...” Gretchen’s eyes sharpened, darkening the gray tones. “I don’t know. Like I told you, this is all new to me, too. Up until tonight, I’d never heard of Nettie or her abilities. In fact, until I met you, I hadn’t ever seen anything like this.” She sighed, glancing at the blanket and tracing the pattern before her gaze rose. “One thing I do know is you can’t stay there.”
“Whatever gave you that clue?” I snorted.
Gretchen shook her head slowly, taking my hand. “If you find Kipp, get the answers you need, and get out. If you are in REM sleep for too long, and I’ll tell by your eye movement, I’ll wake you up and force you out.”
The concern rushing along her features made my stomach flip-flop. “So, you are worried?”
She hesitated, drawing in a deep breath, and her eyes saddened. “I’m more worried you’ll find him, and if he doesn’t want to come back, neither will you.”
I could’ve retorted by saying I didn’t want to die, but the truth stared me in the face. What would I do if Kipp refused to come back? Could I leave him there in a place of loneliness and not stay with him?
As those horrific thoughts rushed through my mind, and so did the reminder that Kipp wasn’t dead. Here was my chance to get him back as a living-breathing-man so we could have a normal relationship. “I want him alive, Gretchen. I have no intention of dying tonight or staying in the Netherworld. I’ll come back. Promise.”
“Okay, make sure that you do.” After another squeeze of my hand, she released my fingers. “Wayde said you only needed to be more aware. Since it seems Nettie knew she was there it means on some level, even though you’re dreaming, you know what’s going on.”
While that might be slightly unbelievable, I also remembered the dream with Kipp and how real that felt when I’d woken. Perhaps I’d been much more aware than I knew. I couldn’t explain why the lovin’ had taken place in his bedroom and not some weird mystical world, but then again, I had no idea what the Netherworld looked like. “I’m guessing it’s not something I can control anyway. If I hold the ability, it’ll simply happen as it does with ghosts.”
Gretchen agreed with a nod. “From what we learned of Nettie, it appears a natural gift. As Wayde suggested, you might have been going there already, but just didn’t realize that’s where you were. After you woke, you accepted your experience as a dream, because it made sense to.”
Before, I never would’ve believed wholeheartedly in something I hadn’t seen with my own eyes and also seemed way out there, but Gretchen’s witchcraft had worked and it did so because I believed it. The power of belief had never held such a strong place in my mind as it did now. Besides, maybe Gretchen and Wayde were right—maybe I’d been blind to what I’d been experiencing. “You don’t have any handy-dandy spells to protect me while I’m there?”
She studied me for a long moment with her gaze, that seemed so much older than her years, and she finally shrugged. “I don’t know enough about this to know how to protect you and from what.” Her expression firmed, head tilted. “But I do know you need to keep a shield up against yourself, no matter how much you miss him. Your desire to stay with him could be your undoing. Remember, the power of one’s soul in any regard to the mystical world holds great strength.”
“Okay.” What else was I going to say? In truth, I wouldn’t lie to Gretchen and even I knew it would be difficult to see Kipp again. That was, if this actually worked, and after I tore a strip off him for the current hell I
went through to find him.
Sure, it hurt Kipp to watch me kiss Dane, but Kipp should’ve known better. Believed without a doubt I only loved him. But it was do or let him die. The latter wasn’t an option. “Sleep time, then?”
Gretchen smiled tightly before she left the bed to hit the light switch, bathing the room in darkness except for the bright light coming from the bathroom. I assumed she kept the light on to keep an eye on me and I watched her settle into the fancy chair in the corner of the room.
With a deep breath, I rolled onto my side, focusing on Kipp. I shoved all my excitement, worry, and adrenaline away, concentrating on relaxing. I fished through all my doubts of mystical travels and combed through my known reality to find a way to accept this.
Was the idea any different from my seeing ghosts in the first place? Not really. Could it be any less unbelievable my abilities held more strength than I knew or had been aware of? Possibly.
I’d never noticed a tingle on my flesh other than the goose bump feeling I experienced with ghosts, and I had to wonder if that’s what she meant. The more I thought of how I received the gifts I did, the more I realized I didn’t care to figure it out. If I needed to be open, feel everything I’d refused to, keep my mind clear from my typical skepticism, then that’s what I needed to do. If it brought me to Kipp, it didn’t matter how I got into the Netherworld, only that I did.
Truth be told, Wayde might think I held an interest to know about my gifts, but he was entirely wrong. I wanted Kipp. I needed, with a desperation piercing my heart, to see him again. If I had to accept all this as blatant truth, then I would.
That simple.
With the motivation to see my ghost holding strong, I allowed myself to touch on my mind in a way I hadn’t before. I didn’t ignore sensations and even paid more attention to them. I felt the usual ease of relaxation wash over me as I drew into sleep, but slowly, I noticed something…
Maybe now looking for it, it became obvious, but there was a sensation seeming far away. Exactly like Nettie explained, a tingle right there lingering in my soul. The same sensation I experienced when a ghost was near, or maybe what I felt right before and just hadn’t realized it. Almost like a spark of electricity coursing through my veins.
I zeroed in on that single sensation and my body warmed. Energy flowed like hot lava through my veins. I felt lighter, tingled all over, and was instantly flooded with a desperate need to grab onto that one sensation.
Yanking myself closer, I left any thought behind, surrounding myself with the spark drawing nearer, and the pulsating energy pulling me closer.
With an explosion like fireworks, but concentrated in my veins, I was dragged forward and sucked right into the sensation. A buzz surrounded me and filled my head with loud noise. The harsh sound was…felt…intense. It quaked against me, inside me, and all around me. My soul was hauled along a path with rapid speed, and I knew I travelled, but seemed to stay still at the same time.
When the buzzing ceased, a loud crash followed and then dead silence. Only a split second later, a flurry of heady coldness encased me and I tumbled into darkness.
Chapter Ten
Sudden awareness washed over me, and it became blatantly obvious I crossed into the Netherworld, because I wasn’t awake. My mind was fully coherent and I remembered falling asleep, knew my purpose to find Kipp, and was mentally focused. If I’d been dreaming, I doubted I’d hold the level of concentration I had now. More so, I was overwhelmed by the fierce need to locate my ghost.
“Kipp,” I heard myself whisper.
The second the words cut through the silence around me, my thoughts held even more clarity and I couldn’t believe what I’d sensed as I had fallen asleep. I’d always thought I got goose bumps from the coldness of ghosts and their nearness, but in reality, it had been the touch of the Netherworld. The goose bumps were the result of the cool energy of this place, not the ghosts themselves.
Beneath my closed eyes, the Netherworld remained dark, but I realized things were different. I felt different. In fact, I felt like I wasn’t there at all, as if here, only my soul existed.
“Tess.”
At someone calling my name, the darkness cleared and I forced my eyes open, my breath catching in my throat. A haze remained in front of me, almost like fog mixed with bright colors. I glanced down at my body, realizing I did, in fact, remain intact, even if I seemed lighter.
I raised my arm in front of me, moving it back and forth through the haze, and it didn’t look any different. Glancing in front of me and squinting, I fought through the haziness trying to make out what stood in front of me. Shapes slowly formed, colors weaved together as if a puzzle joined.
When the shapes finally solidified and the haziness cleared, I spun in a slow circle, totally confused. Under my feet was a sidewalk, and all around me, I recognized the historic buildings that lined the paved road. The scent of the Wonder Bread factory at the edge of downtown swept through my nostrils. Even the King’s Palace Café, with its red and white striped awning, stood in front of me.
I fought to understand why I now stood in downtown Memphis. “What the hell?” Okay, maybe I was dreaming, only a dream I was wide-awake for. Couldn’t I have come up with something a little better than this? At least, more original, and maybe not of home? Then again, perhaps my missing Memphis was why I dreamt of it now.
“Tess.”
At my name again, I instantly realized my error. I wasn’t dreaming. I wasn’t in Memphis. The sound of that low voice drifting over me in the warmest embrace physically hurt me now. I held my breath, tears filled my eyes, and a warm presence closed in on my back.
On a long exhale, I turned and looked into the face I’d begged to see again. I stared into his eyes, one blue and the other brown. A chiseled face, sculpted lips, and a body that usually made me melt, but now only brought forth sadness I couldn’t possibly control. “You went away.”
Kipp’s eyes saddened. “I did.”
How to understand that? How to know what to say in this moment? Maybe I thought it wouldn’t work—thought I wouldn’t succeed. I scrambled to think straight so I could get the answers I needed. “Did Dane force you here with a spell?”
“A spell?” Kipp looked genuinely surprised with wide eyes, but then his expression shifted, still intense and almost angry. “No.”
His answer didn’t appease me, since it meant he chose to come into the Netherworld. Instantly, he reminded me of all the pain, the betrayal, and the heartbreak. “You’re staying here willingly?”
He gave a slow nod. “I am.”
Tears swept down my cheeks and even if his eyes were more pained than I’d ever seen them, it could not erase the misery he’d caused me. “Are we safe?”
“Tess Jennings,” his voice became a near growl and eyes blazed dangerously, “What are you doing here?”
“My gifts allowed me to come,” I snapped. “Answer me; are we safe?”
Kipp’s pause was long, his gaze burning beneath his narrowed eyes. “Yes, we’re safe.” He hadn’t blinked or moved, and continued to stare at me with a hard look. “You better not be dead.”
“Do I look dead?” I hesitated at his harsh glare. “Okay, maybe a little, since I’m here, but I’m not.” I scowled in return. “And that’s beside the point.” I gritted my teeth and with all the fury that had been driving me to a totally insane place for too damn long, I slapped him across his face. “How could you put me through this?”
The second my hand lowered, all arguments left me in a ragged exhale. The sting on my fingers was so shocking, I could do nothing but hold my breath. I looked at my hand, spotting the redness on my palm and then raised my gaze to Kipp’s flaming cheek. “Oh. My. God. I. Touched. You.”
Kipp slowly turned his head, recovered from the blow, and drew in the longest, deepest breath. One second, he stood in front of me. The next, he slammed me up against the brick wall behind me.
I gasped as my back took a hard hit from the full weight o
f his body pressed against mine. He tangled his fingers into my hair, yanking me closer and holding me in an unforgiving grip. A low groan rumbled from his chest when he sealed his mouth over mine and kissed me so deeply, I whimpered.
His lips were all over me and this was not love-making, but brutal passion of ownership. As his teeth trailed down my neck, I couldn’t get enough of him either and returned the force of his claim. His kisses were bruising and mildly painful with bites, but I welcomed the attack and understood his fierce nature.
Real, raw, and long overdue.
When his erection pressed against my bare stomach, I realized I was now naked. But as I’d seen with Kipp’s ability to shed his clothing in his magical way, I assumed the same power worked here. Besides, it didn’t matter. I hated any barrier between us.
His teeth grazed the side of my neck and I panted, crazed over the feel of him. I loved Kipp—loved him with intensity even I had a hard time understanding. To experience his touch, his passion, not from a distance, but in full force made me rub myself against him in an urgent demand for him to take me in the most primal form.
Flesh to flesh.
Man possessing woman.
I craved for him to show me he owned me, inside and out. I yearned to have him branded on my body in a way I’d hurt and remember tomorrow. He must’ve read my desire since he pressed me more firmly against the wall, pinning me with the weight of his body. I’d never felt so safe, so loved.
He hooked one of my legs on his arm and lifted his head from my neck. His erection settled against my entrance. “This is going to be quick and hard.”
I wiggled my hips, allowing the tip of him to pass through my needy flesh. “I don’t care. I need you, Kipp.”
With a dark, delicious smile he pushed forward, his erection slid into my body in a way I had craved for so long. Kipp filled me entirely full. His passion consumed me and set me aflame. His free hand gripped my nape, caging me while he drove himself inside me. His gaze bored into mine with more than the need to control. This was a need to claim.
Mystically Bound (Frostbite, Book Three) Page 6
