I was more than a woman. I was his woman.
His thrusts were harsh, slamming against me with punishing speed and force. The hardness of his erection raised pleasure beyond anything I thought I could manage. Each shift of his hips brought me higher. The way his teeth nibbled his bottom lip, which he always did while lost in pleasure, held my focus and made me wild.
When I lifted my gaze to his face, his eyes burned with a truth that nothing could undo his hold on my body. I belonged only to him. He belonged only to me. Not even the most unimaginable obstacles could break us.
Love in its most simple form.
Now Kipp marked me, devoured me body and soul. I relished in the promise in his gaze that everything would be all right. Here, in his arms, nothing could stop us.
This was my home.
As his thrusts continued, my center went into convulsions, and his eyes widened. His breath deepened to a harsh masculine urgency of need. His erection hardened, pushing me even higher in the peak of my climax. I wanted to shut my eyes and tumble into my orgasm, but I’d never look away from him.
My inner muscles constricted. My pants and moans now turned into silence. And as pleasure took me to a place of euphoria, Kipp rocked harder against me. His fingers on my nape gripping me excruciatingly tight, the tangle of his other hand in my hair tugging on my scalp, but I welcomed the roughness. Accepted any forceful move from him because it meant he was there.
Touching me. Taking me. Loving me.
Screaming against his fierce thrusts, I had no doubt I’d be sore tomorrow, but I’d only ache for more. He grunted as he buried himself inside me, quivering with the force of his impending release. Then he was bucking and jerking, moaning low and deep. With his climax, my own soared along, squeezing at him until all that remained in its wake was two trembling bodies.
I remained locked in his stare, breathless, and emotionally bare. All of what touching him had been, the beauty of being loved by Kipp, and the claim he made over me, caused me to break. I inhaled breathlessly, yet it sounded more ragged and out of control than I’d ever heard come from my mouth. I inhaled again to control myself but on my exhale my breath cracked on a loud sob.
“Shh…” Kipp murmured, nuzzling his face into my neck. “I’ve got you.”
He released my legs, wrapped his arms around me, and pushed us more firmly into the wall. He squished me, but I needed the closeness. I didn’t need him to talk, explain, or anything else.
I only needed him.
Kipp must have realized because he didn’t back away for a very long moment. Not until my sobbing became sniffles did he move slightly back. His embrace remained tight, as if he knew his touch saved me now and without it, I would crumble.
He smiled a sad grin. “Intense, huh?”
“I…” How could I possibly put into words what this meant for me? Perhaps even how torn up I was now. As real as this was…it actually wasn’t. I thought I needed to have him more than I needed to breathe, but it only reminded me how far we still had to travel. There didn’t seem a way to explain it probably, so I settled on, “I never want you to let go.”
He hesitated. “I don’t want to.”
With that, I realized he read my mind because he was there, too. He said, “I don’t want to”, instead of, “I never will”. As much as he wanted to promise me forever and never let me go, deep down he couldn’t and he wouldn’t lie to me.
This was a sweet taste of what could be in our future, but it was just so far from being our reality. Until we had answers and found a solution to this mess, we still lived within boundaries that no love should be able to survive. But ours did, and we had taken what we needed, even if the truth hung like a heavy cloud over us.
As wonderful as it’d been, Gretchen’s advice to me couldn’t be forgotten. I couldn’t stay here. I didn’t belong. And that brought an ugly truth that his claim, while real here in the Netherworld, was still a distant hope we both longed for. Almost like we’d both been cheated out of what we desperately sought. That claim to mean more than a promise neither of us could fulfill…right now.
The saddest part, I was so desperate, I’d take him any way I could. This was the very root of the pain in my soul. No matter how much I’d fought, it didn’t bring me any closer to getting Kipp whole. It only brought me the reminder of how far away I was.
After another long moment while he allowed me to gather myself, he finally backed away, allowing me to see around me. “Huh?”
I scanned the area frantically, spotting the dark night. The full moon in the sky created a white glow over the sandy beach and the water in the distance looked like black glass. “When I arrived here it looked like Memphis.” I jerked my head to Kipp and caught sight of the rocky cliff behind him. “Now it looks like I’m in a postcard from Hawaii.”
Kipp gave a small smile. “Interesting, right? Your mind creates the visual. I’ve been everywhere from Vegas to Mars.”
Glancing down, I slid my toes through the sand below. “Seriously?”
“Like I said, interesting.”
Actually, it was extremely interesting, and explained why our naughty dream happened in his bedroom. Perhaps I imagined it there, but right now, more pressing matters were at stake. I raised my head and asked, “Aren’t you in danger staying here? Holly, that ghost back in Memphis, told me ghosts can become stuck if they stay too long.”
Kipp’s eyebrow arched knowingly. “Well, I’m not really a ghost, am I? Normal rules don’t apply to me.”
The warm wind brushed across me and Kipp tightened his arms, pulling me closer to him. One statement had been the exact truth. While I had made assumptions, Kipp knew he was in a coma. I hadn’t known for sure. Now I did.
Leaning to kiss him, he kissed me back with equal force. The feel of his lips pressing against mine, even if it wasn’t for real, blew my mind. Kipp was a really, really, good kisser. But I forced myself away, knowing we needed to talk instead of continuing to ravish each other. I wrapped my hands around a masculine face I never wanted to release, and said with vengeance, “We’ll get you back.”
He grinned with a firm nod. “We will.”
The breeze swept over us again and ruffled the sandy-colored hair dangling over Kipp’s brow. While I had a thousand questions for him, some more important than others, the thought I had pushed away to ensure his safety now needed clarification. Maybe it was slight curiosity, but the other more significant reason was it would answer a question about my abilities. “Did you know we’ve had sex before?”
Both eyebrows rose. “Pardon?”
He shifted his hips slightly, reminding me he was still buried deep in my body, and I understood why he stayed there. I didn’t want him to withdraw either. I focused away from that part of him and back onto the matter at hand. “That naughty little dream I had during the Hannah Reid case. Did you know that really happened?”
His eyes twinkled. “Maybe.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He dipped his head closer to mine, the moonlight casting a beautiful glow over his face, and looked at me like I should know better. “Because I didn’t understand it. What was I going to say to you? ‘Oh, by the way, that dream you had, well, we really did fuck’.”
I laughed, feeling the sand squish further between my toes. “Okay, I guess not. But seriously, wouldn’t it have been nice to know that before, so then we could have been gettin’ busy this whole time?”
Kipp brushed his nose against mine, his fingers trailed over my back. “I definitely would have suggested it if I’d known what happened. I didn’t realize at the time we were in the Netherworld, only that what took place was real. I knew I was there and enjoying myself immensely.” He leaned away and stared at me intently. “But I didn’t want to scare you, so I played stupid when you woke up.”
I pondered a moment, glancing to the starry sky above. “All right, I guess I can see your point, since at that time, it would’ve freaked me out.” Now thinking it over, I wonde
red how and why my ability to travel into the Netherworld would appear. “It’s weird that being with you brought out that gift in me…” the moment the words left my mouth, I realized an undeniable truth, “maybe because I wanted to be with you so badly. And here, I can be.”
“Possibly,” he agreed. “But once I got here, I met a woman who explained it all to me, and that’s when I finally figured out what the hell happened. How we came here and touched, and that it’s part of your abilities.”
“What woman?”
He shrugged. “Another ghost.”
Weird, but not that weird considering since I’d met Kipp McGowen, weird had become my normal. I brushed my fingers over his wide shoulders and moved lower over his biceps, loving how his body felt beneath my hands. “But then, why didn’t you let us finish the dream?” I remembered he had called my name and that’s what had awoken me.
“It wasn’t my choice. Trust me.” He snorted. “I called your name in the moment of our fun, but I think, you just woke up and that’s what stopped the dream. Then, I played it like I called your name to wake you up so you wouldn’t be scared.”
I gave him a glare I suspected held little heat. “So, that whole time after the dream you actually knew we’d really had sex?” I thought at the time I’d been too obvious because of my reaction to the dream, not that we’d actually done the deed.
He chuckled. “Yes, I knew.” His amusement fled and he sighed, sounding as tormented as his eyes looked. “And if you remember at the time, I had the realization my life was over.”
“Because we had sex?”
He shook his head, sending his hair to fall over his forehead. “Because you told me in that dream you loved me.”
“Hmm…” I kissed his lips softly, and he returned my kiss with a nibble on my bottom lip. When I moved away, I added, “I did say that, didn’t I?” Or more so said, ‘Make me forget why it’s wrong to love you.’
He agreed with another nod. “A big game changer that totally spun me around, as you witnessed. Made me realize how much I lost.” He drew in a deep breath, and everything about him firmed, but he hadn’t stepped away from me. Hadn’t released my face in his hand, nor had he removed his semi-hard erection inside of me. “Now, you will explain why you are here.”
“It’s not what you think.” I rubbed my nose against his, loving the touch of him, even if it wasn’t totally real. I’d take all I could get. “Well, like we’ve realized, it’s part of my ability that allows me to come here. I needed to find you.”
Warmth filled his eyes, and he chuckled. “I should have known you would.” All that emotion in his expression reminded me of what I’d gone through these last days of him being gone. Before I was angry and then overtaken with a lust I couldn’t control, but now my heart shattered. Kipp’s shadowed gaze told me he saw it in my face and I managed to get out, “Why did you leave?”
“Tess.” He leaned in as the wind blew around us, but he also shifted himself inside me and his erection had completely hardened again. “It’s not what you think, either. I didn’t want to leave. Nor did I want to stay away.”
I gasped as he moved his hips, gently now. Even here in the Netherworld, my body ached from his rough sex. He lifted me into his strong arms then lowered us both down to the ground. The soft sand pillowed my back as Kipp settled between my thighs. The waves from the water crashing up onto the shore created perfection as did his lips on my mouth.
All traces of the hard edge to him had vanished. Now he simply savored, as did I.
“Why then?” I whispered against his lips.
He circled his hips, grinded himself into me, and his moan drifted over me in a delicious embrace. The pleasure swiping through me was spinning me in a hot wave that had me trembling beneath the hard planes of his body. His face remained so close to mine, as if he couldn’t take his eyes off me. I never wanted to stop looking at him. As his thrusts shifted to in-and-out long strokes, his body pressed me into sand, while he tangled his fingers in my hair and tugged to hold me closer.
After a low moan, mirroring my sigh, he finally said, “I was told to come and stay here. It’s safer. I can’t come back right now.”
My eyes fluttered closed before I realized what he said. I forced them open as pleasure flooded me. Making love to Kipp had been something I never thought possible. Hard, rough, and dirty sex had been always what I imagined us doing, which had been exactly what we’d done. But this…sweet and sensual…tears filled my eyes. “Why?”
He grunted. “Safer.”
“For who?” I gasped.
“You…and me.”
Pleasure threatened to make my thoughts nonexistent, but I focused to get the answers I needed. To beg him to come home. To fight against this horrific situation. “I don’t want to leave you again.”
He groaned as my center clamped against him, my nails dug into his powerful thick biceps and the valleys of muscles there as his thrusts quickened. “You must.”
Now Gretchen’s worry became reality. Could I leave Kipp here? “Why won’t you come back with me?” I gasped as heady sensations overtook me. “What danger is there?”
As much as I yearned to stay right here with Kipp, he didn’t live here, and I craved more for him to be alive. While this time with him was more than my heart could possibly survive and I knew the after blow of this would be a brutal crush to my soul, the future with him remained a solid wall of focus in my mind.
I wanted to love Kipp as a man.
“Tess,” he said sharply, snapping me right out of the pleasure he was forcing upon me.
I blinked, suddenly realizing the level of pleasure wasn’t as intense as it had been. The slick feel of him within me remained, but the pressure, which built to orgasm, had vanished. “What–”
His voice was urgent, expression twisted, and the sky above him appeared more gray than black, the stars no longer twinkled. “Did you learn about your ability to travel here on your own?”
My grip on him shifted. His arms were still solid beneath my fingertips, but the definition of his muscles ceased to exist. His body pressing into me seemed lighter, so I hurried along and hoped my explanation would be enough for him to understand. “Dane and the others.”
Kipp’s eyes widened before he started to blur in front of me. “It’s happened.” I stared at him and could barely hear him say, “Trust no one.”
“What?” I shouted. The same tingles I experienced when I entered the Netherworld whipped through my body like a loud roar in my ears, and pulled me farther and farther away from him. “Why?”
His expression became frantic and even though I could tell he screamed at me, it only sounded like a dull whisper. “Dane was the one…”
Right then, a blast of cold energy swept across me, removing any of the heat Kipp had built and iciness struck me to my very core. With an earsplitting cry, the only touch I wanted to stay with forever…vanished.
Chapter Eleven
“No,” I screamed, shooting up in bed.
Gretchen lurched off the mattress and clutched at her chest. I drew in loud deep breaths, settling my hammering heart, too. The lamp next to me on the nightstand table cast a warm glow through the room and the bedspread was no longer covering me. In fact, at a quick glance, the sheets were completely kicked off the bed—clearly, my sleep had been restless. “I need to go back.”
She sighed, since I had clearly scared the bejesus out of her, and then she returned to the bed. “You were in REM sleep for almost an hour.” She shook her head, taking up my trembling hand in hers. “I couldn’t chance letting you be there any longer.”
My lip quivered as the reality of what I had experienced settled in and the emotional break I expected hit me in full force. My entire body quaked and I yanked my hands away, grasping them on my lap. I shut my eyes and inhaled, swearing I could still feel Kipp, sore in all the right places.
Dropping my face into my hands, I sobbed. “Oh god, Gretchen, I touched him.” With my eyes closed, surr
ounded by darkness, I could almost feel the brush of his lips against my skin, the way his body was joined with mine, and even how roughly he had taken me. His touch seemed imprinted on my body and I mourned the loss of connection.
Gretchen waited until my weeping quieted to light tears before she asked, “You found Kipp, then?”
I lowered my hands and could barely see her through my blurry eyes. “I think he found me.”
A frown marred her face at my pain, even if she said, “I’m so glad it worked.”
I wiped my tears, pulled myself together and relished in my achy body. It’d been so long since I had real sex, I savored how my body hurt now. Even if it pleased me to no end that it worked, too, and more so, that I remembered my experience. “But it wasn’t enough time. I needed more answers.”
She tilted her head and the soft light lit up the side of her face, revealing her sad eyes. “You were out for a while, Tess. How much more time did you need?”
Now, with the reality of what had happened and what I should’ve been doing, I wanted to smack myself. Instead of talking and getting the answers I so desperately sought, the need to feel Kipp consumed me and I wasted valuable time. “We…we were…”
Gretchen’s eyebrows rose, a knowing look crossing her face, and she finally grinned. “Well, I suppose that’s one thing you could do when you found him.” She patted my leg, her eyes warming. “So, you could touch him that much, huh?”
I nodded, wiping at the remainder of the tears flooding my cheeks. “It was overwhelming.”
“I imagine it would’ve been,” she murmured softly, shifting on the bed and pulling her legs up underneath her. “Did he tell you anything at all?”
Sucking in a huge breath, I sent the sadness away for now and slid my strength back into place. If I allowed myself to have the breakdown I knew was coming, I suspected I might hide out under the blankets for a couple days, not something I could do now. I thought back and remembered what he told me. “He said to trust no one once he heard I was here with the Animus.”
Mystically Bound (Frostbite, Book Three) Page 7
