My Stepbrother the Ultimate Collection (Five Complete Box Sets)
Page 21
He collapsed on top of me. Neither of us said a word. I didn't know what to do or how he was going to act. How could I have told him I loved him, I thought? He rolled off of me. I hurried to put my clothes back on and sat down against the tree. He remained still for a few more minutes before doing the same. When he sat down next to me, I wasn't sure what to say. Thankfully, I didn't have to.
"Is your mom really moving out?" he asked.
"I guess so," I said. "She never lasts longer than a few months. She's been with your dad longer than most. I actually thought they were going to make it. I thought your dad was pretty cool in the beginning."
"You don't now?" he asked.
"No," I answered. "I can't stand the way he treats you. It makes me sick to my stomach. You're worth so much more than he says. Just because you don't want to do what he wants doesn't make you any less of a person. If your dreams and passions are different than his, you should follow them. Money doesn't mean everything. There are so many people that have money and are miserable. All I want is to be able to take care of myself. I hope you don't listen to him, Ethan. Please don't. Live for yourself. Follow your dreams. Those pictures you took were beautiful."
"So are yours. You need to get into digital stuff. You would be amazing."
"What makes you say that?" I asked.
It made no sense to me that he would suggest that when I had never shown him anything.
"Just a hunch," he said.
There was something awkward about the moment, but I couldn't figure out what it was.
"My dad will let you stay," he said. "He likes you. He'll even let you stay after graduation. You're not me. He would probably even give you my room."
Ethan laughed when he said it, but I could hear a hint of sadness in his voice.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
I couldn't help but wonder if he was going to college or not.
"I'm out of there as soon as I graduate. I've saved up every penny I could. I can't stay in the same house with him."
"So I should live alone with him. Is that what you are suggesting?" I asked. "Not going to happen."
"You could live with me," he said.
I was to afraid to look over at his face when he said it. Would his look be serious, or was he making fun of me?
"I'm not sure about that either. We would probably kill each other. You would pick at me, and I would have to kick your ass. I'll figure something out. I was going to move in with someone after graduation, but I'm not sure if I can now."
"Why is that?" he asked.
"I'm just not sure about anything anymore," I answered.
"About what you said earlier," he said, as he took my chin in his hand and moved my face up to his.
Oh shit! I wasn't sure what he was going to say or how I was feeling. How could I have been in love with two very different men? I pulled away from him and quickly stood up. He looked up at me.
"I shouldn't have said that to you. I'm so sorry," I said, as I grabbed my camera.
"So you didn't mean it?" he asked.
Ethan stood up, grabbed his camera, and walked to me.
"I don't know," I said. "I have no idea. I've been talking to someone for a long time. I love him. He was supposed to the one I gave my virginity to. He was supposed to be the first one to take me on a bike. I'm supposed to be moving in with him. You're the complete opposite of him. He's so sweet and always worries about me. You're an asshole. You pick on me and give me shit. I can't stand you. I shouldn't like you, but there's another side to you as well. I know there is so much more to you than that bad boy attitude of yours. When you touch me."
I stopped myself and looked down at the ground.
"There's something I need to tell you, Lauren."
I looked up at him and was too afraid to hear what he was going to say. It was going to be hard enough telling biker that I had been with my stepbrother again. There was no way I wanted Ethan to confuse me even more. Some days I thought he couldn't stand me, and some days I thought he was actually into me. I don't know why I would think that. He was so damn hot. There were girls hanging on his every word at school. There was no way he would pick me. Biker was probably messing with me too. He admitted to having sex with someone else. I was probably just someone to pass the time with when he was bored and had nothing to do. I wasn't even sure he was really planning to move in with me. He could have been hours away for all I knew.
Everything was flooding my mind all at once. I couldn't deal with it and needed to get out of there. The look on Ethan's face scared the shit out of me when I looked up at him and I backed away.
"Don't say another word. I can't do this right now. It's too much. Everything is too much. I need to go home. Will you take me home?" I asked.
I could feel the tears fighting to be freed, but I did everything I could to hold them back.
"If that's what you want," he said.
I nodded, and he turned and walked toward his bike. He put the helmet on my head and got onto the bike. I got on behind him. Neither of us said a word the entire ride home. I put my head on his back and closed my eyes. The feeling of the air against me was so comforting and relaxing. I didn't want the ride to end. I didn't want to have to let him go.
When he pulled into the driveway, he stopped next to his dad's truck. I got off the bike, handed him the helmet, and took my camera. I looked over at the truck with my mom's stuff in it and shook my head. Greg walked out of the house to add another box to the pile.
"Greg," I said. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
He nodded and walked over to me. My mom walked out and put something in the back of the truck. She gave me a dirty look and walked back into the house.
"Is there any way I could stay here until graduation? I promise to be out of the house within a week of that day," I said.
"You can stay as long as you want. If you want to stay until you leave for college, you can. Don't feel like you have to be gone by a certain date. You don't want to go with your mom?" he asked.
"No," I said. "I'll leave right after graduation. I won't need the whole summer. Thank you so much."
He reached over and pulled me into a hug. I heard Ethan slam something down behind me and turned to see him storm off toward the house.
"Take as long as you want," Greg said.
I walked into the house, and my mom was standing just inside the doorway with a pissed off look on her face.
"You're really staying here?" she asked. "Is it because of him?"
She looked toward the stairs Ethan had just climbed.
"No," I said. "It's because I can't do it anymore. I can't keep moving around. I want a place I feel safe in. I want a place that's mine. It needs to be somewhere I feel like I belong. I want a place to call home."
"How are you going to do that?" she asked. "You going to find a rich guy to take care of you? You're just a kid. You can't do it on your own."
"I don't care if it is the smallest apartment in the worst part of town. It doesn't matter if I have to work from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. I'm going to do it, and I'm going to do it for myself. I'm a woman. I don't need to find a rich man to pay my way. I'm not you. I'm nothing like you. I will do it on my own."
I turned and walked up the stairs. When I got to my room, I turned on my computer. There was a new message from biker.
Ride or Die: How's your day going?
I wasn't sure what I was going to say him, so I turned the computer back off. I heard the front door slam and went to look out my bedroom window. My mom got in her car and drove away without ever looking back. Greg followed behind her in his truck.
"You okay?"
I jumped and turned to see Ethan standing in my doorway. There was concern in his eyes. I shrugged my shoulders but didn't move.
"I'm going to get us a drink, and I'll be right back," he said.
I shook my head and turned back to the window. My mom was gone. She hadn't tried very hard to get me to go with
her, but I think she knew it wouldn't do any good. Graduation was only days away. There was no way I was moving so that I could move again, but she didn't know that.
I didn't want to sit in my room. It felt cold and lonely. I figured I would wait for Ethan in his room. When I pushed his door open, I saw his computer screen. Something on it looked familiar. There was a picture I had seen before. I walked closer so I could see it better in the light. As soon as I got there, I felt my stomach drop. How the fuck did he get the picture I did of biker's bike for his birthday? Was he going through my stuff? The bike looked so similar to Ethan's, but I hadn't noticed it before. I reached down and clicked the bottom of his screen to bring up the website he was on. A message box popped up, and I froze in place as I read it.
Ride or Die: How's your day going?
Ethan was biker. There was no way. It wasn't possible. They were two very different guys. Shit! What if he knew? How could he know? Could he have been playing me the entire time? I didn't know what to think. Was I some kind of joke to him? Just as I turned to leave his room, I saw him standing there with a look of shock on his face.
"What is this?" I asked.
"Lauren," he said. "I can explain."
I needed to know if he knew it was me. If not, he was about to find out. I would be able to tell by his eyes and the look on his face. If he didn't know, he would definitely be surprised. I looked into his eyes before I spoke again.
"I only have one question for you. It's the only response I need," I said. "Did you know I was the one you were talking to?"
Taken by My Bad Boy Stepbrother #4
Time seemed to stand still, as I waited for Ethan to answer. It was a simple question really. Either he knew it was me or he didn't. It felt like an hour had gone by before he said anything. The look in his eyes told me more than what came from his lips.
"Please listen to me, Lauren," he said.
"Did you know it was me?" I asked, as I slowly spoke each word.
My hands were shaking and I felt sweat forming on my forehead. I wasn't sure what I wanted his answer to be. If he knew it was me, I wanted him to admit it. I wanted him to say the words I could already see in his eyes. If he lied, I would call him out on his shit. He was telling me the truth and didn't even know it. Ethan let out a breath as his shoulders fell forward.
"Yes," he said. "But."
I didn't let him continue. There was no way I wanted to hear what kind of crap he was about to come up with. Maybe he would say that he really cared and didn't want me to be upset, or maybe he would admit to playing me. Either way, none of it mattered. What mattered was that I was played and everything had been a lie. How could the two men I had fallen for have been the same man? It just didn't add up. I fell for them both in different ways. They were completely different people. Which one was real? Was either of them real?
"No," I snapped. "Stop."
I held up my hand to stop him from going any deeper into why or how or when he knew it was me. Knowing Ethan, he knew from the very first moment. He probably sat around laughing with his friends at school about what an idiot I was.
"I want you to leave me alone. I can't believe I was such an idiot. How could I have been so fucking stupid? I hope it was fun for you."
I felt tears ready to spill free and needed to get away from him.
"Less than two weeks is all we have left. I'll be gone before you know it," I said.
"Lauren," he said, as he set down the drinks and reached to grab my arm.
"Don't," I said, as I backed away from him. "It's all good. I don't need your sympathy or anything else from you. I can't believe I was such an idiot to honestly think someone cared about me. It will never happen again. The only thing I want is to be left alone."
He looked down at the ground but didn't say another word, as I walked passed him and out of the house. There was nowhere for me to go. I could have tried to move in with my mom, but I couldn't do it. She didn't give a shit about me either. There was no way I was moving in with biker or Ethan or whoever he was. My heart was broken, and I had no idea what I was going to do. I had less than two weeks to figure it all out.
Time moved so slowly in the days that followed. I could hear him through the wall and missed him so much. The only person I talked to when I needed someone was the same person making me feel so lost and alone. Ethan was gone each morning before I was out of bed for school. He didn't say a single word during our classes. They were boring without his attitude. He sat silently at his desk. The girls swarmed around his locker, and I always looked down at my feet as I passed them. We both worked in the evenings, so there wasn't much time to see each other then. I usually got home right before him and quickly got ready for bed.
I had just shut my door one night when I heard the front door open. His footsteps became louder as he climbed the stairs. It made my heart race knowing he was only one room away. My mother had text me to say she had to work the day of my graduation. I couldn't believe she was going to miss it. I wouldn't have anyone there for me and didn't see the point in attending the ceremony. The only reason I was going was to see Ethan walk across that stage. As mad and hurt as I was, I still cared so much about him. Just as he closed his door, Greg yelled up the stairs.
"I made dinner. You both need to come down and eat."
I let out a huff. He didn't cook every day, and I felt bad wasting the food. Greg was being nice enough to let me stay there. The least I could do was go down to dinner. I was already dressed for bed. With finals only a couple of days away, I needed every moment to study for them. I planned to get under the covers and read until I fell asleep. Ethan opened his door, and I heard him start down the stairs. We hadn't said one word to each other, and I was worried about what he might say. I should have known he wouldn't say a word. He was the one playing me, so he was probably laughing inside at how miserable I was. I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Ethan had just filled a plate. He looked so cute in his ripped up jeans and tight as hell t-shirt. I quickly grabbed a plate, put a little bit of food on it, and sat down.
"Is that all you plan on eating?" Ethan asked.
I nodded without saying a word.
"Have you eaten since work?" he asked.
"No," I said quietly.
"Are you okay?" Greg asked. "You look like shit. Are you coming down with something? Should I call your mom?"
"I'm fine," I said. "I haven't been hungry lately. I've been studying late and not sleeping much. I'll be great after finals are over. There's no need to call my mom. She doesn't give a shit anyway. I'm sure she's with some new guy already. You should just give up on her."
Ethan let out a breath, stood up, grabbed my plate, spooned more food onto it, and put it down in front of me before sitting back down in his chair.
"I said I'm not hungry."
He looked over at me. I'm sure he could see the red rings around my eyes and my puffy cheeks.
"Eat," he snapped.
We sat in silence and ate. I picked at my plate, and Ethan plowed food into his mouth like he was starving. Of course he did. I was the one hurting. He was the one who knew who I was. I was the one that was surprised. Just as I pushed my plate away and moved to stand up, Ethan looked over.
"You need to eat more than that."
"I have to go study. Not all of us can pass the tests without opening the books," I said sarcastically.
I stood up and picked up my plate from the table.
"At least you're not going to waste your mind. You're going to college," Greg said.
"What?" I asked.
"He could get amazing grades and never look in the book, but he's going to waste his mind on some bullshit factory job. I don't understand why he would throw his future away on something so stupid."
I couldn't take it anymore. That shit had been going on too long.
"Who are you to decide what's right for everyone? Just because you're a suit doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. What if he became some big name photographe
r and made millions taking pictures of the hottest celebrities? Would you think he was worthless then? Why is it all about money with you? Can't you just love him for who he is? Why does your love for him have rules and requirements? He's your son. You should be there for him and stand beside him no matter what it is he wants to do with his life. Look at you. You have money, but are you happy? He's your only child. One day, he's not going to be there to hear you bitch about what a loser he is. He's a good man and deserves to be loved and treated with respect. When are you going to wake up and care about him? Do you know how lonely it is to be a teenager and not have anyone who gives a shit about you? What the hell is wrong with you people? You and my mom are made for each other. I can't fucking stand the way you talk to him. At least my mom just leaves me alone. I guess I can be grateful for that."
I threw my dish in the sink and stormed out of the kitchen. When I got to my room, I collapsed on my bed in a fit of tears. I sobbed like I had never sobbed before. It was a full on pity party for myself. My face hurt and I was exhausted. I was working on my computer when a message box popped up.
Ride or Die: Can we please talk?
Me: There's nothing to talk about.
Ride or Die: Yes there is. It's not what you think. I didn't know who you were when we started talking. I messaged you after I saw you post on a photo page. I need to talk to you.
Me: I feel so stupid. You played me.
Ride or Die: I didn't play you.
Me: You didn't tell me the truth when you figured it out. You let me believe you were someone else. I still can't figure out why I didn't realize it. Your bike looked just like his. I can't imagine how many of your friends at school know.
Ride or Die: They are not my friends. I haven't told anyone.
Me: Those girls that hang all over you aren't your friends. What are they? Just fuck buddies. I guess it makes sense that you didn't tell anyone. That would take away all of your cool points. I'm sure you wouldn't want that. If they found out you had sex with me, who knows what they would say.
Ride or Die: What do you care if I fucked them or not? You don't want anything to do with me. You've made that clear. I don't give a shit what people think. You already know that.