by Cindy Wilder
My first semester of college was okay. I didn't party and kept to myself. My roommate was the complete opposite, but we made it work. She didn't know I was a virgin, and there was no way I wanted her to find out. It wasn't that I was ugly or anything. I guess I considered myself average. It was just that I wasn't the most outgoing girl in the world. I had been a quiet and shy girl my entire life. My mom passed away suddenly when I was ten, and it was up to my dad to raise me. He did an amazing job as far as I was concerned. We lived in an apartment a few hours away from the college. He worked his ass off so I could have everything I needed and saved every penny for my college tuition. It was always very important to him, and I wasn't going to let him down. I spent every spare moment studying so he would be proud of me. That was why I needed the perfect lab partner. I wanted an A in the class, and there was no way I could do it alone.
Then he walked in. As soon as I saw him, I knew he was the one. Just looking at him jumbled my thoughts. He was tall, dark, and muscular. I was sure he could handle the job of dissecting a frog and whatever else they threw our way. Every girl in the room ogled him when he walked through that door. Be confident, I thought to myself. Hold your head high and have the whole I'm a good lab partner attitude. You need this guy to get you through the class, I told myself. I pulled my shoulders back and sat up with confidence, but then he looked in my direction. As soon as his eyes met mine, I looked down at the book in front of me. Shit! That's not confident. I couldn't help it. From the corner of my eye, I could see him continuing to scan the room. I put my head in my hand and sighed. What the hell was wrong with me, I wondered? It's smelly, yucky biology class. You're not looking for a man, I told myself. Knock the shit off.
I was still stuck in my thoughts when I saw him walking in my direction. Just walk by, I thought, not sure if I could handle being next to Mr. Sexy all semester. There was no way I needed any distractions. I had to keep my mind on my grades. He stopped when he got to the table I was occupying and I froze. I could smell him, and he smelled amazing. It took all I had not to take a deep breath. Maybe he wouldn't be so bad. His smell would drown out the funky smell of biology.
“Is this seat available?” he asked.
I nodded without saying a word or looking up. He sat down, and I heard him laugh.
“Are you a fan of biology?” he asked.
“Nope,” was all I could get to come out.
My hands were shaking, and I was beginning to sweat. Seriously, I thought. You are not a young girl in grade school looking for a date to the dance on Friday. You're looking for a damn lab partner. Snap out of it.
“I'll tell you what,” he said with a hint of humor. “I'll do all the dirty work if you do all the writing. I've got enough to write this semester, and from the way your hands are shaking, I doubt you could cut a straight line to save your life.”
I let out the air I didn't realize I had been holding and looked over at him with a smile. It was like he was reading me like a book.
“You've got yourself a deal,” I said. “I'm Tara.”
“My name's Bradley. It's nice to meet you, Tara. I look forward to cutting into animals for you.”
We both burst into laughter.
“Thanks for not giving me the creeps when I walked in the door. I saw you sitting over here, looking down at your hands and trying to blend into the table, and knew you were my perfect lab partner.”
“Thanks, I think,” I said. “This is my first year here. I want to be a doctor or do something in medical research. I haven't decided what exactly. I know what you're thinking. She's afraid to dissect an animal. What is she thinking? I just have to work my way up to it. It's something I need to do. I'm not sure why it freaks me out so much. It's more the smell than anything that gets to me. At least you can cover up the smell.”
“What?” he asked confused.
“Nothing,” I answered. “What are you going to be when you grow up?”
He shook his head and laughed.
“When I grow up, I want to be a doctor. I haven't decided what kind exactly. It's what I've always wanted to be. There was nothing specific that made me want to do it. I just always have. What about you. Why medicine?”
“My mom died suddenly when I was ten. They said she had cancer, but we never knew. One minute she wasn't feeling well, the next she was gone. I want to prevent young children from losing their parents like that.”
“Shit!” he said. “I'm so sorry.”
“Don't get all weird about it. I'm okay. My dad stepped up and became my mom and my dad. Some things he wasn't so good at, but he really tried. Is this your first year here?”
“My second,” he said. “I live in an apartment with a few guys I met last year. My family lives two hours from here, so it works out. You live on campus?”
“Yes, in a dorm,” I said. “I live three hours away. I'm not a fan of driving.”
He laughed again. Maybe he wouldn't be so bad after all. He definitely smelled amazing. I was able to get a deep whiff of his cologne and wanted to lean in and sniff him. Don't worry, I didn't. I needed him to play with the animals for me. Smelling him might have been going a little too far.
Bradley had the sexiest, dark brown eyes I had ever seen. They sucked me in completely. His hair was the color of his eyes and hung just above them. The back just reached his collar. He was wearing a tight t-shirt, and I could see the muscles in his arms flex when he moved. It was definitely going to be a good semester.
I quickly learned that he was so much more than just a pretty face and sexy body. The teacher jumped right in as soon as she entered the class. Bradley was on top of everything she said. He was extremely smart. I feel bad admitting that I was surprised. In my previous experience, if they looked that damn good, they weren't geniuses. I'm not putting them down. They could be smart, but he was freaking brilliant. It was unbelievable. He knew every answer to every question she asked. I definitely had to talk him into studying with me.
When the teacher wasn't speaking, we talked about what we were learning. The first few classes flew by. We started talking about other things besides science. I found out he had a job at a restaurant near campus. My dad wouldn't let me get a job the first year. He said my grades were more important, and it was his job to take care of me. I never argued with him. It wasn't worth the fight, and I had more time to study if I didn't work. We each let out a little more personal information each class. I couldn't believe how easy Bradley was to talk to. Our conversation flowed naturally. Before long I transitioned to calling him Brad. He wasn't fond of using his whole name. I was always Tara. There wasn't really anything short for that. I didn't want to be called T. That was what my dad called me, and he was the only one that could get away with it.
We had our first test, and I didn't do so well. When I saw the grade on the paper, I thought I was going to cry. It was the first D I had gotten in years. I had three tests that day and hadn't studied much for biology. Brad was happy with his A. I really needed a good grade in the class and was bummed that it had started that way. He looked down at my grade with genuine concern.
“Don't rub it in,” I said. “I'll beat myself up enough for everyone.”
“I wouldn't do that. You knew the answers. You just have to find a way to memorize them or associate them with things. We can study together if you want. I have extra time when I'm not working.”
“Really,” I said, shocked that he was willing to take time away from class to help me. “I don't want to take away your personal time. You work and have a lot of classes. I don't want to invade the only free time you have.”
“Hey,” he said. “We're in it together. You're my lab partner. I can't let you do badly in the class. We both need to pass it.”
I felt butterflies in my stomach when he said we were in it together. Nobody ever went out of their way to help me like that. It felt good to know he was such a good person.
“If you wouldn't mind,” I said. “I would really appreciate the help. I'm
not sure what happened. I like the class.”
“That's because you sit next to me,” he joked. “Remember, I cover up the bad smell in the room.”
My face must have turned as red as an apple. I couldn't believe he remembered me saying that. Without thinking, I moved to smack his arm. He grabbed my hand in his before I made contact, and I felt the weirdest feeling crawl up my arm. I pulled my hand from his and looked away. What the hell was that, I wondered? He smiled but didn't say a word.
When it came time to dissect a frog, I wouldn't even look at it. Brad thought it was hilarious and picked the frog up so it could talk to me. I gave him a dirty look as the frog told me he wouldn't hold it against me if I ate his cute, little frog legs. The more Brad made the frog talk, the less I could stay mad. By the time he was done, I was laughing harder than I had laughed since I was a little girl. He laughed right along with me until the teacher told us to behave like adults.
“You got us busted. I need a good grade in the class, Brad. Now you're going to have to study with me even more. See what you did,” I said in a stern tone.
“It was so worth it to see you laughing that hard. Stand up,” he said motioning for me to get off the chair.
I stood up, and he looked down at my seat.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Nope,” he said with a straight face. “I guess I have to make you laugh harder next time.”
My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open when I realized what he was looking for.
“That's disgusting,” I snapped. “I can't believe you.”
Brad got down to business with the frog. He kept trying to get me to look, but I wouldn't.
“Come on,” he said. “I promise not to mess with you. Just watch what I'm doing. You said you have to work up to touching it. Looking at it is the first step. Here, let me show you. It's actually really interesting.”
“Do you promise not to screw with me?” I asked.
“I do,” he said. “I'm being serious. If you're going to find a cure for cancer, you need to do this stuff. I'll be right here with you. We'll do it together. I promise, I won't do anything crazy.”
I moved my chair closer and looked over. He pointed and explained things while I wrote them down. When I would flinch or look away, he waited for me to relax and would encourage me to get right back into what he was doing. I don't know how he did it. Brad took his time and didn't rush. I was surprised at how comfortable I was getting.
Class was over and I was packing my stuff to leave.
“I don't work tonight,” he said. “Do you want to get together and go over some of the stuff we looked at today? We could meet somewhere, I could come to your dorm, or you could come to the apartment. It's up to you.”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“I wouldn't ask if I wasn't willing. Just take the help and don't be stubborn. Where do you want to meet and what time?” he asked in a serious tone.
It was kind of cool how he took control of the conversation and didn't let me weasel my way out of meeting up. In all honesty, I was looking forward to seeing him, even if it was to study. He had a way of making me feel comfortable.
“My roommate won't be at our room. She has a late class. Do you mind coming to my dorm?” I asked.
“That was one of the options I gave you. I'll be there at five. Does that work for you?” he asked.
I shook my head and wrote down my dorm and room number.
“Can you give me your cell number in case something comes up? I'd feel like shit if I didn't show up. That's not how I am.”
I wrote my cell number on the paper before handing it to him and leaving the class.
As soon as my last class was over, I hurried back to my room to get ready. I didn't want to look like I was trying to impress him, but I didn't want to look like crap either. A quick shower and blow dry made me feel so much better. A pair of jeans and a nice t-shirt wouldn't look like I was trying too hard. I brushed on a little makeup, combed out my hair, and looked in the mirror. My hair was dark brown and came halfway down my back. I was slightly curvy and an okay height.
A knock at the door pulled me from my thoughts. I answered nervously. He walked in and seemed impressed with how clean the room was.
“Is your apartment messy?” I asked.
“My room is clean, if that's what you're asking,” he said with a smile. “The rest of the apartment, not so much. I find it slightly irritating. My mom didn't let us live like pigs. We were all expected to keep up the house with her. She works her ass off and doesn't have time to clean everything. I always helped as much as I could. The first thing I do when I get home on break is clean the house. My brothers are pigs. The only reason I go home each break is to help and see her. The other two can kiss my ass.”
“You have two siblings?” I asked.
“I try not to think about it,” he said. “My mom works two jobs to keep the house going.”
I must have given him a strange look.
“My dad left when I was fifteen. She was a stay-at-home mom before that. It was awesome. I have so many great memories from when I was younger. When he left, she had to work. I worked in the summer to help her out. I got student loans and some financial aid to come here. They use my dad's income in all the figures even though the fucker won't help out. I don't understand that. Anyway, I work to pay my part of the apartment costs. I can't really afford to live by myself. So, I put up with the mess.”
“Have you eaten yet?” I asked.
He shook his head.
“I have some microwave meals. It's nothing fancy, but it's food.”
I heated up two meals. We studied while we ate and mixed in some personal conversation as well. I had been missing my dad and brought him up in our conversation since he shared a bit about his dad.
“My dad hasn't dated that I know of since my mom passed away. He really never had the time. We have a two bedroom apartment. He always told me he felt bad that we didn't have a house with a yard. That never mattered to me. He spent time with me and attended all of my functions. That's what mattered. He never missed a single one. I just feel bad that he never found love again while I was growing up. I always felt like I was holding him back. I sure hope that he finds it again one day. My mom was important to him. They had a special kind of love. I want him to find that again. He deserves it.”
“Do you remember your mom?” Brad asked. “Do you remember your parents together?”
We both sat back against the wall on my bed and talked for hours.
“I do a little. Some memories are still there, but a lot of them have faded. She was beautiful. They were definitely in love. I remember them always kissing and hugging. She'd sit next to him and hold his hand while we watched television. He kept pictures of all of us for me to see. I look at them all the time.”
“Do you have any of them here?” he asked, and I nodded. “Can I see one?”
I got up, grabbed a picture of the three of us, and sat back down as I handed it to him. He looked at it for a few moments before saying anything.
“You look just like her,” he said. “I mean exactly like her. She really was beautiful. Look how cute you were with your hair all short.”
I laughed and snatched the picture out of his hand. Was he saying I was beautiful, I wondered? That was so sweet of him. Then he had to make fun of me and ruin it. He seemed to make me laugh at the craziest times.
“What do you mean was cute?” I asked. “Don't make fun of my hair.”
“I didn't mean you weren't cute anymore,” he said in a serious tone.
Did he think I was serious? I was just kidding.
“I bet if I saw a picture of you as a little boy, you wouldn't look like this,” I said as I motioned up and down in front of him.
“And what's wrong with this?” he asked sarcastically, as he moved his hand up and down his chest and abs.
My eyes were glued to his hand as he moved it over his muscles.
“Did I s
ay anything was wrong with it?” I asked. “I simply said you didn't look like that when you were younger. You were probably tiny and scrawny.”
His mouth dropped open in mock horror.
“Are you saying I was goofy looking as a child?” he asked in a wounded tone.
I turned on my knees to look at him.
“Oh, Shit!” I said, as I reached out. “I didn't mean that at all.”
I felt so bad for saying that. Without thinking, I put my hand on his leg that was stretched out in front of him on my bed. A warm feeling danced up my arm and I pulled my hand away.
“I'm just kidding,” he said. “I know I was an adorable kid. All the girls chased me.”
I let out the air I was holding yet again and rolled my eyes at him.
“Don't make me feel bad,” I said. “Are you sure the girls were chasing you because they liked you? If you messed with them the way you do me, that could explain the chasing.”
“I never really thought about it,” he said, just before bursting out in laughter. “Next time we study you can come to my apartment, and I can make you a not so fancy dinner.”
“I was planning on it,” I joked. “One day, when you're a big time doctor, I'll let you take me out for a real fancy dinner.”
“Are you sure I'll want to?” he asked. “After this class, I'm not sure we'll still be speaking.”
I grabbed my pillow and threw it at him as he laughed. Then I grabbed the remote to my television, turned it on, and turned to face it. When I ignored him, he kept poking at me. It was driving me crazy. I turned and quickly moved to grab his wrist, but he must have seen it coming. He turned his hand and got mine instead. Damn was he good, I thought. Then he pulled me toward him and smiled.
“Don't be like that,” he said in a sweet voice. “You know we'll still be talking. I won't be able to get rid of you that easily.”
“You're an ass,” I snapped.
“Did you just say you like my ass?” he asked. “That's very forward of you.”
“Ugh,” I said, as I turned the other way again.
