My Stepbrother the Ultimate Collection (Five Complete Box Sets)

by Cindy Wilder

  "Are you coming?" I asked.

  "Your dad can't go for a few days. He's in the middle of something huge. Kyle told him he didn't want to see anyone yet."

  "So you're not coming?"

  "You are so damn stubborn," she said. "Wait for me. I'll be there tonight. I'm telling your dad that I'm going with you. You better be ready for everyone to find out about the baby."

  "I'll be packed and waiting," I said. "Be careful."

  I didn't have time to cry. There was somewhere I needed to be, and I needed to get there as fast as I could. It was going to take hours to pack me and the baby. I put his play yard and bouncer in my car. The stroller was already in there. Then I began packing his bags. Once those were in the car, I started packing mine. I was glad my car had such a large trunk. It was interesting packing everything the baby needed. I felt like I packed the entire apartment. It was our first trip. When Rosie showed up, I was ready to go. We moved her stuff into my trunk, strapped the baby in the car, and were on our way.

  By the time we got there it was after one o'clock in the morning. I checked in at a hotel and got baby Kyle and Rosie in before carrying in everything from the trunk. It was three o'clock before I tried to get some sleep. There was no way. It was useless. I was so worried about him. He hadn't told Rosie what was wrong with him or if he was going to be out of the hospital soon. We didn't even know how long ago it happened. The only thing saving me from not running there in the middle of the night was that I knew Rosie had actually talked to him. She had heard his voice.

  Visiting hours began at ten o'clock. I figured I could make it until then. My hands shook, and I felt sweat dripping from my forehead, as I sat waiting in the hotel room. I felt like I was going to be sick to my stomach. Rosie was so excited to see the baby and was playing with him. She couldn't believe he had gotten so big so fast.

  "Are you sure you did the right thing not telling him you were pregnant?" Rosie asked.

  "I'm not sure of anything. I thought telling him would be worse than waiting. He couldn't leave or do anything. I knew he would worry about me and the baby," I said.

  "I'll stay here with the baby while you go and see him," she said. "I honestly don't know what happened or how bad it is, Carrie. He sounded wrecked when I talked to him. You should go alone today, unless you want me to go first."

  "I'm going," I said. "I can't wait to see that he's okay with my own eyes. Thank you for coming with me. You have no idea how much it means to me."

  "I do," she said. "I know you love him."

  "No," I said. "I'm doing well. He's Kyle's father. I just want to know that he's going to be fine."

  "Sure," Rosie said.

  "Don't start," I barked out. "I don't want to hear it."

  Rosie called the hospital and was sent through to Kyle's room. He answered on the third ring.

  "Hello," he said.

  The baby was sleeping, so she put him on speaker phone. He sounded like he was sleeping.

  "Good morning, Kyle," she said. "How are you feeling?"

  "Same as any other day," he said. "How are you? How's everyone doing?"

  "We're all good. I was thinking about coming to visit."

  "No," he snapped immediately. "I don't want to see anyone. They won't let you in."

  "Why?" she asked. "I just want to see you. I don't understand why you're shutting me out."

  "You didn't tell Carrie did you? I don't need her giving me shit. It's not you, Rosie. I'm just not ready to see anyone. I would rather be alone."

  "You know we love you, Kyle. We've all missed you so much. You've been gone for almost a year."

  He sounded horrible. I couldn't tell if he was depressed or mad or what was going on. It was pretty clear he didn't want company, especially me. That was to damn bad. I had the baby to think about. If I told Kyle and he blew us off, then at least I would know that he knew. I wouldn't be keeping secrets anymore. Kyle didn't seem like the kind of guy to let something bring him down. I wanted to see him and know he was going to be okay. If he didn't want to talk to me, then I would leave. There was no way I was leaving without seeing him with my own eyes.

  Rosie hung up the phone and looked over at me.

  "I really don't think you should go," she said. "He was pretty clear about not wanting to see us. I'm not sure why, but he really doesn't want to see you."

  "He should already know that I don't do as I'm told. I'm going to see him. I'll be a pain-in-the-ass until he agrees to let me into the room. I have to tell him. I can't wait any longer."

  Rosie sat quiet as I got dressed. I put on some jeans, a t-shirt, and some sneakers. It was going to be a long day. That I was pretty sure of. I had no idea how it was going to turn out, but I couldn't wait another second.

  My body shook when I walked through the sliding doors of the hospital. I couldn't stand being there. The smell of hospitals drove me nuts. It was a smell I could never describe. You would think it would smell like cleaning stuff, but it was that mixed with something else entirely. I tried never to visit hospitals. Even when I had the baby, I got out as soon as I could. The woman at the front desk directed me on where to go after she asked my relation to Kyle. I guess it was an immediate family only thing for him. I felt bad saying I was his sister. I had never once felt like that about him. I would have told her whatever it took to get in to see him. It was a military hospital, and there were many families in the lobbies and spread throughout the path I took to get to the section he was in.

  When I finally found the right place, the lady at the desk looked at me with a sad look.

  "I'm sorry," she said. "I can't let you in. He's not accepting any visitors. He was very specific."

  "I understand," I said. "He can be a pain-in-the-ass. I'm not even sure what happened. He's not telling any of us anything. I have to see him. I drove all day and part of the night to get here. I won't leave until I see him. My name's Carrie."

  "Oh," she said with wide eyes. "You were the one he was most concerned about not coming in. You're at the top of the list."

  "I'm sure I am," I said with a smile. "I don't want to make your job miserable. I just can't leave here without seeing him. Can you let him know I'm here?"

  "Have a seat over there. I'll go and talk to him," she said.

  I could tell she felt bad. Who knew how long he had been there. They probably grew close to their patients. About fifteen minutes passed before she came into the waiting area and over to me. She sat down in the chair next to me.

  "I know this is hard," the nurse began. "He's taking everything really hard. I told him you were here and thought he was going to lose it. He said to tell you to leave. He said he won't see you. Don't take is personally. Everyone reacts to things in their own way. He's having a hard time with things."

  "How long has he been here?" I asked.

  "He was hurt a month ago," she said.

  My eyes widened at her words.

  "A month," I whispered. "We just found out yesterday."

  "He didn't want anyone to know. That was up to him. Before long he'll need to go to a rehabilitation facility to work on his recovery."

  "What happened to him?" I asked. "Is he going to be okay?"

  "That's up to him to tell you. I can't give out his personal information. I know that his reaction to finding out you were here was something else. He's been sad and down. It was the first time I had seen him show other feelings, even if it was anger."

  "I'm not leaving until he sees me. I'll sleep right here for days if I have to," I said.

  "So," she said with a smile. "You're just as stubborn as he is."

  "I am," I said. "I guess we just have to see who breaks first. Can you let him know I'll be right here when he changes his mind?"

  She shook her head and got up.

  "If I would have known he was here, I would have been here the first day," I said. "I've been freaking out since I got his last email."

  "I understand," she said, as she walked away.

  Three ho
urs passed with me sitting in the waiting room. I messed around on my phone while I waited.

  Rosie: Have you seen him yet?

  Me: No. He's being a stubborn ass.

  Rosie: Maybe you should come back.

  Me: No. I told them to let him know I wasn't leaving until he let me in.

  My head was back against the chair. I jumped when someone touched my arm. When I opened my eyes, I saw the nurse from earlier.

  "You're still here," she said. "I'm going to be leaving for the day in about an hour. I don't think he's going to let you back."

  "He'll have to see me eventually," I said with a yawn. "He can't stay there forever. You said he'll have to leave one day. I'll be waiting."

  "He was right about you," she said. "He said you wouldn't give up."

  I smiled and laughed.

  "He's right about that," I said.

  "You must really care about him," she said. "Let me tell him you're still here."

  I was fully awake when she came back.

  "He was asleep when I walked in. I woke him up. He can be cranky. Of course, he said to tell you to go home."

  "That's not him. He's always full of energy and ready to irritate. I just wish I knew what was going on. Can I call him?"

  "Sure," she said. "Follow me. You can call his room from the desk. It will be easier."

  I followed her to the desk she had been sitting at when I got there. She handed me the phone and dialed a number. Two rings later I heard his voice.

  "Hello," he said.

  "Hi," I said.

  "Carrie," he snapped into the phone.

  "Don't you dare hang up, Kyle," I snapped back as quietly as I could. "I'm not leaving until you see me. It's been four hours or so already. These chairs really suck. Are you going to make me sleep on them tonight?"

  "Go home," he said. "Did you drive or fly?"

  "I drove," I said.

  "You shouldn't have driven that far. You need to go back home. I'm not going to see you. I told Rosie and your dad I didn't want visitors."

  "Do you think I care what you told them, Kyle?" I asked. "You should know better than that. I did not drive this far to turn around and go home. I need to know that you're okay."

  "I'm okay," he said. "You've moved on and so have I. I need you to leave."

  "Really?" I asked.

  "Yes," he said.

  "That's nice," I said. "I hope your happy. Now let me see for myself that you're okay, and I'll leave you alone."

  "I said I'm okay," he snapped.

  "I don't care what you said," I snapped back. "I want to see with my own eyes that you are okay. Is she in there?"

  "No," he said. "Go away."

  "Nope," I said. "You have to leave this hospital eventually. I can learn to enjoy the waiting room. I guess I'll be sleeping here tonight."

  "Carrie," he growled.

  "Kyle," I said with sarcasm dripping from my voice.

  "Why do you have to be such a brat?" he asked.

  "Because I care about you," I said. "You were the one that got me through the last two years at my mom's house. There is no way I'm leaving here. Let me in. You can tell me how you've moved on. I can see that you're still here. Then, I will leave you alone and go home. Until then, I'll be in the waiting room on these wonderful chairs."

  "Fine," he snapped. "If I let you in, you'll leave?"

  "I will," I said.

  He let the nurse know that I could see him. I could see the shock on her face, as she took me back to his room. It had such a hospital feel. There was nothing personal in the room. I couldn't believe he had been there almost an entire month. It just seemed so strange. When I walked all the way into the room, he didn't look up from his hands that were folded on his lap. He had blankets covering him from his toes to his neck. When he didn't speak, I had to break the silence.

  "I can't believe you're really here. It's been almost a year since I've seen you," I said.

  He nodded his head but still didn't look up. It took all I had not to run over and wrap my arms around him. I had to keep telling myself that he didn't care about me like that. We would never be anything together. He looked so tired and different.

  "I've moved on," he said.

  "Oh really," I said. "Is it her?"

  He didn't answer for a moment. I knew him better than he thought I did.

  "Go," he said.

  Maybe I was wrong. I thought he was lying. Was it just me wanting him to be lying, I wondered? Was he really with her?

  "No," I said. "Look at me."

  He wouldn't look up from his hands. It was like he was doing everything he could to keep his eyes glued to his lap.

  "Look at me, Kyle," I growled.

  I could feel the tears begin to slide from my eyes. It had been almost a year, and I thought more than once that something had happened to him. Seeing him in that hospital bed made it all so real. My hands were shaking. I took a deep breath to try and calm the storm of emotions that were filling my body. He refused to look at me. I couldn't take it. It had been too long, and I had to see his face. When I crossed the room, his arms went stiff. I could see him change right before my eyes. He was so different. That was bullshit. He was there, and he was going to be okay. It didn't matter what he had to go through. He was still alive. My emotions were getting the best of me. I felt the sobs begin to take over.

  When I saw his hand shake in his lap, I knew he was full-of-shit. I reached forward, grabbed his cheeks in my hands, and jerked his head so he had no choice but to look at me.

  "Damn you," I cried. "Look at me, Kyle."

  He looked at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen on him. They weren't bright or dark. They were an odd, dull color.

  "You look different," he whispered.

  "You look like shit," I replied.

  "I've moved on," he whispered.

  "With who?" I asked.

  He didn't respond. I felt like he wasn't even there.

  "With who?" I demanded. "Tell me right now. Is it her? Fucking tell me, Kyle."

  "Yes," he whispered. "It's her."

  "Do you love her?" I asked.

  I could feel my hands shaking on the sides of his face.

  "Yes," he said, as he pulled his lower lip into his mouth.

  He was lying. I could tell.

  "Why isn't she here?" I asked.

  "She's still gone," he said.

  "Tell me you love her," I said.

  His voice was shaky. I knew he was lying, but I wasn't sure why. It was pissing me off. I wasn't even sure it was about her anymore. It was more about him lying to me. We had grown so close over the years. He was the only person I counted on to be honest with me. He was lying to my face, and it was making me angry.

  "I do," he said.

  "No," I snapped. "Tell me you love her."

  "I love her," he said, as he tried to pull his head from my hands.

  I lost any composure I had left. Sobs shook my body, as I looked at him. He looked so sad. I had never seen him look that way. It was so hard not crawl into his bed and never let him go.

  "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me," I said.

  "Carrie," he said.

  "Do it," I yelled.

  "I don't," he said with his eyes closed.

  "No," I said. "Do you honestly think I'm stupid? I know you, Kyle. All you have to do is look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me, and I will leave."

  He opened his eyes and shook his head, just as the same nurse walked into the room.

  "Please take her with you," he said. "She needs to leave."

  "I'll be in the hall, but I'm not leaving," I said, as I walked into the hall and sat down.

  The nurse came out and leaned down next to me.

  "He's having a hard time with all of this. I don't think he really feels that way. We can't get him out of bed. He won't even try to walk. If he doesn't snap out of it soon, it's not going to be good for him."

  She rubbed my shoulder before walking
away. I don't know how long I sat in that hallway before walking quietly into his room. He was asleep. If I was really quiet, he wouldn't notice me, I thought. I pulled a chair next to his bed and watched him sleep. There was so much worry and stress on his face, even in his sleep. I couldn't believe how much he had changed in that year. He didn't have the young, carefree look anymore. I could see lines that weren't there before. There was so much different about him, but it didn't make me love him any less. I hadn't moved on. He was the man I loved. It broke my heart seeing how tense he was in his sleep. It was sad that he couldn't even relax while he slept. I could only imagine the things he had seen and what he had been through. It had really taken its toll on him.

  I put my hand over his and put my head down on the side of his bed. Exhaustion had taken over my body. I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. It didn't feel like I had slept long, but it had been the best sleep I'd had in a long time. When I opened my eyes, I sat up to see him watching me. I looked down at my hand on his and pulled it away quickly.

  "Please leave, Carrie," he said. "I really need you to go on with your life and whoever you have moved on with. I can't have you here. It's just not going to work. I want to be alone. I don't want you or anyone else here. Would you just go."

  He was losing his fight. I could feel the anger leaving his body. He wasn't being demanding anymore, and I wasn't letting him go without a fight. I would always fight for him. He needed to know that.

  "I drove all this way to see you, Kyle," I said calmly. "You love her. You don't love me. I get it. All I'm asking is for you to say the words to my face. It should be easy to do."

  "I don't have to," he said. "All I should have to do is ask you to leave."

  "You want me to leave so bad. It's that horrible having me here. I believe you don't care about me. I've know it since the day I was at the base and your girlfriend told me how happy you were with her. I still haven't been able to figure out why you did that with me. I wouldn't take it back though. I would never take that night back. It was the best thing that ever happened to me."

  He cocked his head to the side, but I didn't give him a chance to speak.

  "If you want me to leave I will. I just want you to do one thing first. I need you to walk. They said you won't get up. I need you to live, Kyle. Even if I can't have you, I need you here. You're not giving up. I won't let you. Get up and walk and I will walk out of this room and your life forever."