by Varsha Dixit
‘You’re pregnant!’ Sneha teased.
‘Shut up! I’m no Kunti, I have to have sex first. Something really freaky is happening!’ Nandini literally chewed her nails.
‘Freaky how?’ Sneha asked, sprawling on the love seat near the window.
‘I can’t sleep!’
‘Take sleeping pills.’ Sneha shrugged her sandals off.
‘I don’t feel like eating anything.’ Nandini paused and then said, ‘Just colossal amounts of ice creams and chocolate!’
Sneha sat up. ‘Hold on! What kind of music have you been listening too?’
Self-consciously, rubbing an ear, Nandini’s answered, ‘Ghazals and love songs!’
‘Not eating, not sleeping, listening to sappy songs... anything else?’ Sneha grilled, counting the symptoms off her fingers. Her face bunched as she rested on the verge of a momentous discovery.
‘I kind of feel jittery whenever the phone rings.’
‘Oh gosh, this is serious babes!’
‘What is it? Dish ASAP!’
‘Where are the DVDs you recently bought?’ Sneha asked, abruptly changing the topic .
Bewildered, Nandini indicated the almirah on the other side.
Sneha quickly opened it. ‘Let me see! Where are you hiding?’ she murmured, running her seeking hands over the DVD covers. ‘Got it!’ she exclaimed, holding one up.
Nandini crouched forward, ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary! Are you loco (insane in Spanish)? What does that movie have to do with me?’
‘Watch and learn child, watch and learn!’ Inserting the DVD, Sneha quickly forwarded it to the part where Mark Darcy leaves for the US of A. The left behind, yearning Bridget sometime gazes miserably out of the window and at other times consumes an entire fridge, or nervously answers the doorbell. All this while, sappy songs strum in the background.
Sneha halted the movie and asked, ‘Bimbo now do you get it?’
‘What rubbish! I am not pining for Colin Firth or Mark Darcy. You are such a gadheri sometimes.’
Sneha tapped her knuckles hard on Nandini’s head. ‘You fool, of course you are not pining for Colin Firth. You are pining... period. Spill it out who are you thinking of?’
‘No one!’ Nandini chimed quickly... too quickly.
‘Don’t lie to me Nandi. Puke it out right now!’
Nandini clenched her lips and shook her head, resolute. This secret was going with her to her grave.
‘Okay, if you don’t tell me right away, I shall go down and talk to your folks. Tell them every itty-bitty detail, and my own very astute conclusions,’ Sneha threatened. She rotated and began walking in slow motion, in the direction of the door.
Her hand had barely grasped the knob, when Nandini softly confessed. ‘Aditya. ’
Sneha, flabbergasted, spun back. Nandini sat doubled over the bed, her head thrust in the pillow.
‘Aditya, Aditya Sarin?’ Sneha screeched.
The head in the pillow bobbed, tentatively once and then fiercely, several times.
‘Kulta, couldn’t you fall for someone in your college, or your neighbour or even your doodhwala? Why Aditya Sarin? He’s so bloody out of our league ,’ Sneha voiced, amused and astonished.
‘Aditya is my neighbour!’ Nandini reminded, miserably.
‘Jahaan panha, neighbours on the other side. Not the globally-most-eligible-bachelor-kinds. Does Aditya know?’
‘Are you insane ?’ came Nandini’s muffled reply.
‘Do you think he might feel the same?’
‘ARE YOU INSANE?’ Nandini repeated her words, finally getting up to face her friend. ‘He treats me like a complete idiot; “brainless wonder” was the most recent compliment.’ Nandini’s face reflected despair.
Sneha sat down next to Nandini and put her arm around her. Nandini gave her small smile.
‘I have a solution,’ Sneha said.
‘What?’
‘Get away from him. Migrate to a country with only burkha-clad women. That’s one place Adi is never coming!’ said Sneha, smiling broadly.
‘Very funny! Anyway, he is not here. He is gone for three-four months.’
‘Oh! So that is when our local laila realised her one-sided love.’
‘Shut up!’ Nandini snapped, and then poured, ‘The other day, Badi Maa mentioned that Aditya, for the past several days, has been calling regularly to chitchat. He has asked about everyone, everyone excep—’
‘Except yours truly!’ Sneha finished.
Nandini glumly nodded. ‘What will I do Sneh?’
‘Get married!’
‘Baqvaas! How will marriage help?’
‘Once you get some action from someone else, you’ll forget all about Aditya Sarin.’
Nandini snickered. ‘Speaking from experience, are we, Queens of Ghantaghar?’ The two best friends giggled uncontrollably.
‘So Dada Kondke! Going forward, what’s your plan then?’ Sneha questioned after a few minutes of mirth.
‘Complete and total denial. Ignore the subject at all times.’
‘That hasn’t worked for the last billion years or so.’
‘Coz it hasn’t been tried hard enough, I’ll make it work! You’ll see,’ Nandini asserted.
‘Have it your way. But all this while I thought you didn’t like the dude,’ Sneha wondered, remembering the constant bickering between Aditya and Nandini.
‘I, too, am surprised. I always thought that on some level we were friends,’ Nandini confessed, sighing.
Right away Sneha smacked her on the arm.
‘Hey! What’s that for?’ Nandini demanded, rubbing her stinging limb.
‘How dare you forget the first tenet of love set by Maine Pyar Kiya ?’
‘What?’ Nandini grumbled.
‘Ek ladka ladki kabhi doost nahi hotein. Kapkapati raatein, bhadakti aag, dhadakte jism, etc., remember?’ Sneha retorted. The two again dissolved into giggles .
‘Sh#$! Seriously Sneh, what am I going to do?’ Nandini questioned, hugging her knees thoughtfully.
‘Take up your Chacha on his invitation of living with him in Chicago and pursuing a degree there,’ Sneha at last, gravely answered.
After a few minutes of silence, Nandini asked, ‘So how was your vacation?’
‘Interesting and eventful!’ Sneha replied.
‘Give me the details!’
‘That’s another story for another day. Today let’s deal with yours,’ Sneha replied.
Once Nandini accepted her intense feelings for Aditya, she also saw the futileness of her one-sided heartache. ‘When he gets here, I’m going to stay miles away from Aditya. But when will he get here, it’s—’
‘Dil haara re! Haare re!’ jolted Nandini out of her sleep and her dreams. ‘Bloody tumhare dil ki to—’ cussed Nandini. Just then, a few loud raps sounded at the door. ‘Tullu I’m up! Stop breaking the door!’
Sitting on the potty, Nandini grumbled to the toilet roll. ‘Na life mein sex, na dream mein sex. The alarm and Tullu had to go off just as the fun was about to begin!’
18
Yeh Tera Ghar Yeh Mera Ghar
A n hour or so later, Nandini came down the stairs, with a line of excuses ready on her tongue – excuses to avoid going to the airport. ‘Ma, I can’t...’ Her words died as she saw, who else besides her parents, sat at the dining table.
‘See Nandini, Aditya is already here. We are all, together, going to the airport,’ Shruti piped.
Coldly, Aditya glanced at Nandini’s scrubbed face and wet hair flopping around the face and shoulders (Nandini disliked hairdryers). In a contrived polite tone, he inquired, ‘Hello Nandini. You didn’t complete what you were saying?’
Chacha Chowdhury, again, came to her rescue. ‘I was just saying that I can’t find my sneakers.’
Aditya’s lips tightened. ‘You are planning to wear sneakers with that ethnic skirt!’
‘Yes! Does it bother you?’ Nandini retorted, boldly. Shruti and Nirbhay’s presence played dual roles – Nandi
ni’s protectors or witnesses to her violent and untimely end .
‘Nandini!’ Shruti admonished.
‘Let us leave, we don’t want to get late,’ Nirbhay urged.
Quite a few hours later, Nandini stood, quietly, next to Vibha Sarin. Standing at the threshold of her beloved dwelling, the older woman’s eyes swam with tears.
‘This house still shouts of Paresh’s presence, I have so many memories of him here. I still can’t believe he is gone.’ Vibha choked.
‘Didi, Pareshji hasn’t gone anywhere. He is very close and alive for all of us in our hearts and that’s where we’ll always keep him,’ Shruti said.
Denial of the obvious will only worsen your condition mom, a thought darted in Nandini’s head.
‘I have missed you all so much,’ Vibha uttered, gazing at Shruti and Nandini.
Touching his mother’s arm, Aditya gruffly voiced, ‘Let’s go inside.’
Still clasping Nandini’s hand, Vibha said, ‘Come Shruti, Nirbhayji! Everyone else, please come inside.’ Soon, the gathered including a few ministers and other state personalities shuffled inside. The media was stopped at the gates.
‘Who informed them of my mother’s arrival? It was supposed to be under wraps!’ Aditya barked at the group in front. There was no answer.
Vibha interjected, ‘It’s alright! I am not disturbed by their presence.’
Aditya bit off whatever he was about to say.
‘Nandini beta, arrange for tea for everyone,’ Vibha requested.
Nandini made a move towards the humungous kitchen, where hovered several helpers .
‘No!’ Aditya snapped, then stiffly explained himself, particularly to his mother, ‘Don’t bother her. Simone has taken care of all that.’ Simone accordingly moved.
Office mein coffee, and house mein chai! Adi has made Simone D’Souza into Simone Barista, ridiculed Nandini, silently, extending a fake smile in the PA’s direction.
The Sharmas and Vibha soon discreetly made their way into the more private family room. ‘Adi reminds me so much of Paresh. A sterner replica though. Paresh’s passing away seems to have affected him the most. All that consumes Adi now is his work and mindless socialising with silly girls,’ Vibha immediately vented to her extended family.
Nandini uncomfortably shifted.
‘Aditya is very responsible. The way he took charge of everything is quite impressive,’ Nirbhay responded.
‘That’s true, Nirbhayji! However, while Aditya took care of the family business, he seems to have lost himself. Ajit, Seema and I often try to coerce him to let go of the grief or at least show it. However, all our talks have only increased the distance between him and us. Adi hardly spends more than a few days a year with any of us. Sometimes I feel so miserable; losing a husband was hard enough.’
Dad wasn’t the only thing that I lost, Aditya reflected, his mother’s worried words falling on his ears.
‘Badi Maa, coming back to this house must be hard on him, too,’ Nandini gently suggested.
The pretentious fake, she dares to act, as if she knows what I am going through, Aditya fumed coming in the room.
Nandini got to her feet and said, ‘We should be going!’
‘I’m staying; you go if you have to!’ Shruti declined her daughter’s suggestion .
Forcing himself to sound pleasant, Aditya requested. ‘Nandini, could you come in the office; there is something I’d like to discuss with you.’
‘Adi, today is Saturday, at least today don’t make Nandini work,’ Shruti butted in.
‘Ten minutes! I promise, Aunty.’
Nandini quietly treaded behind Aditya into his late father’s office. He held the door open and she went in, nervously.
The moment the door shut, Aditya rounded on Nandini. ‘Stay away from my mother,’ he snarled, holding her by the arm.
‘That might not be possible!’ Nandini answered, swallowing. Aditya’s expression only darkened.
‘What I mean is... Badi Maa might get suspicious about us... no, about you and me. What I’m saying is that she might ask...’ sputtered Nandini, trying hard to ignore the tingles running all over her body. His smell tickled her nose, his fingers warm against her even warmer skin.
‘Don’t talk rubbish; you will do as I say,’ Aditya ordered. Inadvertently, his fingers rubbed her skin. ‘Damn!’ he growled letting go. Aditya walked, actually took cover, behind the antique mahogany desk.
‘I saw your report. As expected it is completely unsatisfactory!’ Aditya, lowering himself in the leather chair, hesitated.
Nandini understood the brief glimmer of emotion. Unthinkingly, Aditya was about to sit in his late father’s chair.
‘Adi, Aditya, I—’ Nandini started to speak but he cut her off.
‘Get out and don’t forget what I said. Close the door behind you ! ’
Aditya swivelled his chair to gaze at the beautifully landscaped, lush Japanese gardens with the elevated koi pond and several fountains... his late father’s favourite view.
‘Why are you so hard on yourself? It is wrong to hurt the people you care for so much. You should be the one thinking about your mom and not the other way round,’ Nandini interrupted.
Angry, Aditya turned around but she was gone. The door left open – perhaps symbolically. His eyes fell on the portrait hanging on the facing wall. His family as it used to be, content and close!
Flexing his shoulders, Aditya stood up. He ran a loving hand over the furniture one by one, the antique bookshelves, coffee table and finally the jade chess board, which lay open like the way his father had left it after a last game. Rubbing his eyes, Aditya murmured, ‘So many memories here of dad and that wretched girl.’
‘Conquer the past to rule your present and future.’ Startled, Aditya quickly glanced all around. The words sounded much like his father’s usual profound tips.
‘I need to sleep more!’ Aditya voiced heading out, towards where his mother sat with her best friend of yesteryears. He dropped on the sofa next to his mum. ‘Shruti Aunty, thank you for looking so well, after the house. Everything feels the same, just like when Dad was around.’
‘You? After we left, Shruti, you looked after the house? I thought some hired help did the job,’ Vibha said.
‘Aunty offered to do it. I of course hired and paid for all the help she would need. Not that it in anyway takes away from what you did for us,’ Aditya replied .
‘Thank you so much Shruti!’ Vibha clasped her friend’s hand, eyes again tearing up.
‘This house and the memories here are invaluable for me. Anyway, it wasn’t me but Nandini who actually did all the work. I just did the liaison. She was the one who came here frequently, to make sure everything was in order,’ Shruti clarified.
‘How sweet of Nandi!’ Vibha reacted.
Aditya sat quiet, taken aback. Why had Nandini bothered to take such pains, and not rub it in? In the past even if she lifted a pencil for me, she would go on and on about it until I almost developed allergy to the darn thing, he wondered.
After a few hours of catch-up, Shruti left. Aditya placed a reassuring hand on Vibha’s knee, ‘You don’t have to worry about me. You should only think of yourself and your coming grand daughter.’ Seema was in last trimester of her pregnancy.
‘It could be a grandson,’ Vibha shot back. Then her expression became concerned, ‘You work too hard Adi! Why?’
‘Why? AB is constantly working. Even Dad slogged equally hard if not more,’ Aditya replied, resting his head on the sofa’s edge.
‘Yes. But he did that because it made him happy. Self-growth and sense of purpose... remember how often Paresh used that phrase?’ Vibha fondly remembered her husband.
‘Hmm!’ Aditya agreed, his lips twitching. ‘We all would roll our eyes when Dad would start with that lecture.’ Obon and Dumb Supper, Buddhist and pagan traditions, are not the only ways, to remember the dead. Humour, too, can be equally poignant and heartfelt.
Vibha chuckled. ‘Do y
ou remember how upset Paresh got when once Ajit actually fell asleep, while he was still talking? ’
‘Poor AB! A solid month without a car and phone.’ Aditya joined Vibha in her chuckles. Sombre expressions soon replaced their faces.
‘Adi, you work as if you have the devil on your tail. Even after so many accomplishments, of such stature, why do you come across so unhappy, so bitter? What happened to my easy going and fun loving younger son?’ Vibha belled the cat.
‘He grew up!’ Aditya replied, his face equally serious.
‘Oh god! You are so filmy,’ Vibha used a line Aditya often said to her.
‘Fine Mom! I get your point and I shall seriously try to lighten up. Just give me some time.’
‘And what about your marriage?’
‘You are on fire today! That too will happen... I promise,’ Aditya replied. This is an apt time to tell her, his conscience niggled.
Hesitantly, Vibha said, ‘Adi are you completely over—’
Aditya, curtly, interrupted her. ‘Of course I am! I have asked you several times not to bring that topic up. There’s no room for discussion on that one.’ He got to his feet.
Vibha changed the topic. ‘Can we have Seema’s goed bharai here? The seventh month is about to finish.’
‘Sure! And we shall have it just the way Dad liked – big and expensive. I’ll take care of everything.’
His mother’s smile spoke volumes. ‘Don’t forget the charities,’ Vibha said.
‘Have I ever? If you want more give more... Dad’s rule!’ Aditya replied.
‘You know Adi, I’m glad we are back here. I feel closer to your father in this house.’ Vibha said softly.
Aditya, again, sat down next to her. Putting his arm around her, he whispered, ‘Me too Mom, me too!’
19
Dhokha
A few days later, sharp at 9 a.m., Nandini entered the office building.
‘Early bird, you’re actually on time today!’ teased Rajesh, Nandini’s colleague, swinging the door open for her.
‘Whatever!’ passing him, Nandini genially responded. His shoulder bag, jostled her hand, and some coffee from her flask splashed on the man.
