No Child of Mine

by Susan Lewis

  And she was supposed to be all about protecting children.

  She was all about that, because he’d been right when he’d said it was what really mattered to her, and his children had him and Gina to take care of them. Those who came into her world depended on her. It was why, after he’d gone last night, she’d picked herself up from the floor and forced herself to open her laptop so she could write up her visit to Ottilie. Ottilie’s needs were far greater than hers, though there had been moments, she had to admit, when she’d seemed to get herself confused with Ottilie. It must have been the latch on Ottilie’s cupboard door that had got her thinking of how she’d been locked in a room as a child, crying for her mother and her mother never coming to find her. Every now and again, when the terrible truth of Jason leaving had come over her, she’d had to break off for a while and remind herself that she had no right to long for a man who belonged to somebody else. He was with his children now, where he wanted to be, so it was wrong to will him to come back. It was almost impossible to stop trying, however, and nothing, but nothing was making the longing or despair go away. As the hours passed it was only getting worse.

  It surprised her when she read through her report before leaving for work to find that none of her own issues had ended up clouding the details. Somehow she’d managed to pull together a succinct and accurate account of what she’d witnessed at the Wades’, and a summary of what her next steps would be. However, before she could get started on them she needed to deal with the call from Shane Prince to make sure she was removed from the case.

  ‘It’s not a problem, pet,’ Tommy assured her when she’d finished telling him about the threats in Shane’s message. ‘I was never keen on you being sent there in the first place. How did Jason take it? I don’t suppose he was too happy having his kids brought into it.’

  ‘No, he wasn’t,’ Alex confirmed, feeling a void opening up inside her simply to hear his name. ‘It was – he was quite shaken up by it.’

  ‘Did Prince give any indication of knowing where to find Jason’s kids?’

  Thank God the answer to that was no. ‘But he knew their names,’ she reminded him.

  ‘Mm, definitely not good. I think we need to have a chat with the police to make them aware of what’s happened. Meantime, you can consider yourself officially free of that family. I’ll take it on from here.’ He regarded her closely. ‘Now, what else is troubling you, pet? I can see you’re not yourself this morning. Is it something you want to talk about?’

  Alex shook her head, unable to speak for fear of the words being pushed out by a sob. ‘I’m OK,’ she finally managed.

  ‘Well, that’s not true, so maybe you ought to give me a heads up here so I can see if there’s anything I can do.’

  Alex was still trying to choke back the tears as she said, ‘OK, but please don’t make a big deal of it. Jason’s gone back to his wife and ... He’s ... I’ll be fine, honestly. I just need to get on with some work.’

  Looking deeply concerned, Tommy said, ‘Did it have something to with this call?’

  ‘No, not really. I mean, I think it triggered it, but he says he’s been thinking about it for a while.’

  Tommy nodded gravely. ‘Well, I’m very sorry to hear that, pet. These things are never easy, so you know where I am if you need a shoulder, and they’re both pretty big so if you get fed up with one you can always try the other.’

  With a splutter of laughter, Alex grabbed a tissue from the box he was offering and not trusting herself to say any more she quickly returned to her desk.

  Minutes later she was making her first call of the day to children’s services in Northumbria, where a very helpful woman, Dee, carried out an immediate search of their records. It transpired that the Wades were on file; they’d been visited several times after the loss of their son, Jonathan, who’d died following an asthma attack. She could find no mention of either Erica or Brian Wade being harassed by anyone during the time they were receiving family support.

  After thanking her, Alex spoke to a health visitor from the same authority who had taken over from the midwife after Ottilie’s birth, and continued to visit her regularly up until the time the Wades had left the area. She’d never had any concerns about the child, she told Alex, but the mother had certainly been suffering with depression.

  ‘Do you know if she was receiving any treatment for it?’ Alex asked.

  ‘She told me she was, but I can’t say I ever saw any signs of improvement. If anything, by the time they moved she seemed more withdrawn than ever, and was hardly relating to the baby at all. It was the father who was bonding with the child, bathing her, feeding her, taking her out for walks. I discussed the situation with a social worker, but by the time she got round to visiting the family they were already packing up for the move.’

  After thanking the health visitor and entering everything she’d learned into Ottilie’s file, Alex carried out a quick search on Google just in case there was a newspaper report on Jonathan Wade’s death, or something interesting about the school where Wade had taught that might not have made the official files, but she found nothing she didn’t already know. So, looking up the number of Northumbria police she connected to the central station. It took an eternity to get through to someone who sounded willing to help, but even she ended up taking Alex’s details and assuring her that someone would get back to her by the end of the day.

  And if Alex believed that she’d believe Father Christmas landed on rooftops and squashed himself down chimneys.

  Next on her list was Ottilie’s GP, Timothy Aiden, who this time turned out to be free to take her call and sounded appalled when he learned that Ottilie didn’t have a health visitor. An oversight, he told her, that would be corrected immediately.

  ‘Before you go,’ Alex said hastily, ‘are you also Mrs Wade’s GP?’

  ‘I am,’ he confirmed. ‘But you understand that I’m not at liberty to discuss ...’

  ‘Yes, of course, but it would be helpful to know if she’s receiving any sort of treatment, or medication for her ... Depression? Agoraphobia? What I’m saying is, something’s clearly wrong with her, and if it’s impacting on Ottilie, which it’s bound to be, I’ll need to have some idea of what’s going on.’

  ‘I see. Well, I can tell you that Mrs Wade is on tranquillisers, but they’re only mild and so shouldn’t be having any adverse affect on her daughter. Indeed, if they were, I’ve no doubt in my mind that Mr Wade would have informed me by now.’

  ‘Is he a patient too?’

  In a clipped voice he said, ‘It’s not unusual, you know, for the whole family to be with the same GP.’

  ‘Of course not.’ Why was he being so defensive? ‘So you’ve known the Wades for what, about a year?’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘But you presumably have records from the previous GP ...’

  ‘Indeed I do, but I can assure you they don’t contain anything that would be of any interest or help to you.’

  ‘And you know this because?’

  ‘Because I’m familiar with the records, and I know what you’re looking for.’

  ‘Really? And what would that be?’

  ‘You’re a social worker attached to child protection. I think the answer speaks for itself.’

  ‘Excuse me for saying, but you sound as though you don’t really approve of my concern for Ottilie.’

  ‘Well that’s just nonsense because of course I approve. You do a marvellous job, all of you, most of the time. But you have to admit there are occasions when you get it wrong, and I’m telling you Brian and Erica Wade are very good parents and Ottilie is in excellent health.’

  ‘Except she doesn’t have a health visitor and nor does she speak and her mother’s a ...’ she wanted to say basket case, but settled for, ‘very withdrawn. Thank you for your help, Dr Aiden, I’m sure I’ll be in touch again.’

  ‘Wow,’ Saffy commented from the next desk, ‘someone just got short shrift.’

 
; Alex sighed irritably. ‘Remind me if I ever need a doctor, never to go to him. Timothy Aiden. Ring any bells?’

  Saffy shook her head. ‘Kesterly South?’

  ‘That’s right. I’ll have a chat with someone over there to find out what they think of him. By the way, any news from their end about the merger?’

  ‘Not that I know of, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask while you’re speaking to them. Are you OK, Alex? You look a bit peaky this morning.’

  Feeling a wave of misery closing around her, Alex quickly pushed past it, saying, ‘Oh I’m fine, just a bit of a headache that’s all. Anyway, the good news is, I’m off the Prince case. Tommy’s taking it on from here.’

  ‘Brilliant. That old dragon should never have forced you to take it in the first place.’

  In total agreement with that, Alex picked up the phone again, and now the office was filling up she had to use a finger to block out the noise of so many people talking at once.

  To her surprise there was no reply from Brian Wade’s old school in Northumbria.

  ‘Ben! Ben!’ she cried, spotting him coming in through the door. ‘I need to talk to you about the Wade family on North Hill. You took ...’

  ‘Sorry, not now,’ he interrupted. ‘I’m already late for a meeting with legal.’

  ‘Just tell me if you spoke to anyone in Northumbria,’ she called after him.

  ‘If I did, it’ll be in the file,’ he called back, and he was gone, the swing doors to the far corridor flapping like rubber wings after him.

  Catching Saffy’s eye Alex pulled a face, and dialled the school in Northumbria again. This time someone picked up, but she was forced to leave a message for Derek Tolland, the headmaster, to call her back. Though she was used to finding herself at the bottom of most priority lists it could still be irksome at times, particularly when she wasn’t seeming to make much headway with Ottilie’s case. Still, she had no choice but to wait, so pulling up the case notes for Tawny Hopkins, a fifteen-year-old drug addict and habitual absconder from care, she started updating them until her mobile rang to interrupt her. It was Winston Tucker, the probation officer for the parents of at least two youngsters in her caseload, so she had to take the call even though it was likely to go on for some time. If anyone from Northumbria rang meanwhile, they’d just have to leave a message and she’d get back as soon as she could.

  Back and forth, back and forth. She knew already that it could go on for days.

  However, just after five that evening Derek Tolland rang with a brusque apology for not calling sooner.

  ‘Well, I must say,’ he declared snappishly when she’d finished explaining why she was calling, ‘I really didn’t expect this to come up again. I’m sorry to say that the woman you’re referring to, the one who made the accusations against poor Brian Wade, is extremely unstable. The last I heard of her she was undergoing specialist treatment, but from what you’re saying she’s apparently managed to track Brian down and start up her old tricks again. If you like, I’ll make some enquiries this end to find out where she is and how she can be stopped.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Alex said evenly, ‘that would be very helpful. Before you go, can I ask how well you knew Mrs Wade?’

  ‘As a matter of fact I don’t recall ever meeting her, so I’m afraid I’m not in a position to assist you with that. I imagine she’s still very upset by the loss of her son.’

  ‘Indeed, she is. Did you ever meet Ottilie, by any chance?’

  ‘No, I don’t believe I did. Now, if that’s all, I’m rather busy so I’ll get back to you when I have something more concrete to tell you. Meantime, if you speak to Brian, please send him my best. He’s a very good teacher, he was a great loss to this school.’

  After ringing off she was about to go and talk to Tommy when she noticed that Wendy was in with him, so decided to open up her emails instead. To her amazement there was a message from a PC Scott Danes of Northumbria Police with an attachment that, intriguingly since she hadn’t asked for it, turned out to be the autopsy report on Jonathan Wade’s death.

  However, before she could start reading it Wendy was sweeping her way towards her, all dowdy midi skirt, frilly-front blouse and old-fashioned pageboy haircut.

  ‘Alex, Tommy’s just told me about the call you received from Shane Prince last night,’ she announced. ‘I want you to know that I’m fully supportive of taking you off the case, and I’ll be speaking to the police myself about what kind of backup they can provide when we go to visit that family in the future.’

  We? Where was the ‘we’ in this?

  Without waiting for a response Wendy swept away, and exchanging impressed glances with Saffy, Alex returned to the autopsy report.

  ‘It’s definitely saying he died of an asthma attack,’ she told Tommy later as he glanced through it himself, ‘which is what we already know, so I’m not sure why Scott Danes sent it. I tried calling him, but he’s finished his shift for today and isn’t back in again till next Wednesday, so I’ll have to wait to catch up with him then.’

  Handing the report back, Tommy said, ‘Have you been in touch with the Wade family themselves today?’

  She shook her head. ‘I thought about it, but I don’t actually have a good reason to call at this point, much as I’d like to. I’ll ring tomorrow though to make sure some steps have been taken to get Ottilie into a nursery, and to find out if anything’s happened yet about a health visitor.’

  ‘Good,’ Tommy said, glancing at his watch. ‘Crikey, is that the time already? I promised her indoors I wouldn’t be late again tonight, so I’d better get my skates on.’

  ‘Give her my love,’ Alex said, turning to the door and trying desperately hard not to wish that she was rushing home to Jason.

  ‘Hang on, what are you doing tonight?’ Tommy demanded. ‘Why don’t you come and have a bite with us? Jacky’s always happy to see you, you know that.’

  Alex smiled past the ache in her heart. ‘Thanks,’ she said, ‘but we’ve got a rehearsal tonight, so I’m not going to be on my own.’

  His eyes remained on hers. ‘We’ll be there at the weekend, to see the show,’ he told her. ‘I’m just sorry we missed the opening night. I hear your old friend Heather Hancock gave you a bit of a savaging after.’

  Alex laughed. ‘Apparently she’s big on grudges,’ she said wryly. ‘However, I’d far rather spend my time worrying about Ottilie Wade than I would Heather Hancock.’

  ‘Far more useful,’ he agreed. ‘So, you have yourself a good rehearsal and barring lottery wins, alien invasions or better offers, I’ll see you in the morning.’

  ‘Actually, you won’t,’ she replied. ‘I’m out on visits for most of the day so I probably won’t be back here till late, which means the next time I see you could be at the show on Saturday. If it is, I’ll make sure to look out for you and if you’re very lucky I’ll let you buy me a drink.’

  ‘You can count on it,’ he assured her. ‘Go safely now, and any more nonsense from the Princes you let me know.’

  Though North Hill wasn’t exactly on her way home, as Alex drove along the seafront she couldn’t help responding to the instinct that seemed to be pulling her there. There was no explaining it, she wasn’t even going to try, she simply turned the car up the hill and crawled with the traffic until she reached the open gate of number forty-two. It wasn’t until she turned in that she realised she’d been half expecting to find Ottilie at the window, as though she might have been there all this time, but there was no sign of her, or of anyone else.

  With a jolt of unease she wondered if the Wades had upped and left, but then to her relief, and alarm, the front door suddenly opened and Brian Wade came out.

  ‘Can I help you?’ he asked, walking up to her car. ‘Oh, it’s you,’ he stated when he realised who she was. ‘Did you forget something, or have you brought your assessment for me to look over?’

  ‘Neither, actually,’ she said pleasantly. ‘I was just passing and I thought ... I was hoping it might b
e convenient to say hello to Ottilie.’

  He didn’t appear pleased. ‘Well I’m afraid it isn’t,’ he retorted. ‘She’s in the bath and about to get ready for bed.’

  Since she was hardly in a position to argue, she simply said, ‘OK, sorry to bother you. I’ll be in touch as soon as my assessment’s ready.’ As she put the car in reverse she added, almost as an afterthought, ‘Have you heard from a health visitor yet, by the way?’

  Frowning, though actually sounding less hostile, he said, ‘Someone contacted me this afternoon. She’ll be coming to meet Ottilie next Thursday.’

  So the doctor had got on to it. Excellent. ‘And any luck with a nursery school?’ she wondered.

  ‘We’re looking into it. It has to be the right one and I’m afraid I don’t have much time to carry out the necessary vetting process.’

  ‘I’d be happy to make some recommendations.’

  ‘Thank you. If I have any problems I’ll let you know.’

  She smiled in her most friendly way. She didn’t want to alienate him, at least not yet, or he might contact Wendy and ask for her to be replaced. Being who he was, chances were Wendy would cooperate and though it might sound like nonsense to anyone else, she couldn’t help feeling as though Ottilie was meant to be hers.

  ‘Incidentally,’ he said as she started to reverse back down the drive, ‘I believe you’ve been making enquiries about my wife.’

  Intrigued to know who’d told him – the doctor, his old headmaster, someone at social services in Northumbria, possibly even the police, though she strongly doubted that – she said, ‘I admit she is causing me some concern. It might not be unheard of for a mother not to interact with her child, but it is unusual.’