Entangled: Surrendering the Past (Surrendering Time Book 2)

by Julie Arduini

  Her eyes look as bright as a disco light. “You guys, thank you. I love the idea.”

  Will shrugs. “I’m glad I could help. It’s what anyone would do for their friends and community.” He moves the chair closer to the table and starts planning the next steps with Ben. Will sees Noah sitting on the far end and gestures him to join.

  As I watch Will work, I realize sometimes there’s more to swoon about than dazzling kisses. And I remain confused as Will saving the day and involving Noah is as attractive to me as Wayne’s touch.

  ChapterFifteen

  I can hear Betty singing “Up From the Grave He Arose” through the walls as I brush my teeth Easter morning. After a late night cleaning up all the eggs in the successful community Easter Egg-stravaganza as Will coined it, Betty, Noah and I are ready to finish off the weekend with a great church service.

  Once I walk into the kitchen, Betty greets me with a glazed donut. “Happy Resurrection Sunday, Carla. I bought these at the donut shop yesterday to thank you for inviting me here. I had the best time visiting places with Sara and going to the senior center for the egg hunt yesterday.”

  I reach for the glazed treat and enjoy a bite. It’s warm, so Betty probably put it in the microwave. Even in my own home she takes great care of me. “I’m mad I didn’t think of it sooner. Anytime you want to come with me to Speculator Falls, say the word. Everyone loved meeting you.”

  I glance at the microwave clock and notice if we’re going to be on time, we need to leave. Yet Noah’s not around. “Excuse me, Betty. I need to get Noah in gear.”

  She nods as she walks over to the donut box, probably to enjoy another while she waits.

  “Noah, time to leave.” I call out and knock at the same time.

  He opens the door before I can get to my third knock. He’s wearing a nice, albeit wrinkled shirt and khaki pants. His hair’s slicked back. I wish he dressed like this every Sunday or even every holiday, but the huge basket he’s holding tells me this is all about Brittany.

  “Sorry. I’m ready.” He balances the gift as he gestures for me to go first down the hall.

  “Happy Easter. Are we not going to talk about the big rabbit in the room?” I reach for my purse and point to the chocolate bunny surrounded by five other kinds of chocolate, wrapped in cellophane.

  Noah looks down at the basket and grins. “Ben helped me put it together with stuff from the store. He said girls go crazy for chocolate.” He ignores the donuts and walks to the front door.

  I sigh, not so sure Ben should be encouraging this romance.

  ⌛⌛⌛

  Pastor Craig wastes no time after the choir sings and the ushers take an offering. He’s passionate about his message titled “Make a Decision, Already.”

  This Easter message can’t be about my inability to choose between two men. Can it?

  “I’m going rogue with my message this morning. I know most pastors would use Christ’s miraculous resurrection for their talking points. It’s an amazing story that defines who I am and what I do every day.” He rakes his hand through his hair. “I want to spend a few minutes talking about a member of the story who played a key role and had a horrible time making decisions. So he tried to make deals.”

  My shoulders relax. This can’t pertain to me if it’s about one of the gospels. I glance at Will, who seems to have full attention on our pastor. Will’s bulletin is open to the space where we can take notes, and his pen is ready. His enthusiasm for Godly things still feels like a magnet to my weak nature.

  Pastor clicks on a projector and displays an image of a man. “Pilate. He had to keep a balance with the Jews. He wasn’t a fan and his history with them wasn’t positive. But if he exerted his authority too much, he knew they’d get upset and he’d be in trouble. What do you do when you want to keep everyone happy?” He forwards to the next slide. It’s a picture from the game show, Let’s Make a Deal. “Pilate, even under great pressure to make a decision about Jesus, refused and instead worked on deals. Let’s turn to John 18:31.”

  I take notes almost as fast as Will. I’m feeling pretty good about my own choices or lack of when I compare my life to my Pilate notes. The guy tries his best to avoid Jesus. Pastor makes a great point, though.

  “You can’t avoid a God who’s everywhere and looking for you.”

  I peek at Noah, who sits with the other teens, including Brittany. Who I can’t see because the gigantic basket blocks most of her face. Noah’s staring ahead and appears to be paying attention. I think about my teen years and how I avoided anything that appeared to be religious, until I learned I was pregnant and Wayne lost interest in me faster than a game of hot potato. My parents showed me the door. There weren’t any deals going on back then.

  “When avoiding Christ didn’t work, he looked to what everyone else would do. The culture around him.” Pastor’s on a roll giving us the backstory on Pilate. “And when that didn’t work, Pilate tried to compromise. Killing Jesus would be too messy of a choice for him to make. But a beating? That would satisfy the people and make them go away. Now let’s look at John 19:1.”

  Pages flip throughout the sanctuary. Once we read the passage, Pastor Craig pauses.

  “Pilate wanted the crowds off his back and won’t admit that Christ had any power over His Kingdom, Him, or the world. He wanted perfection, but is remembered as the guy with blood on his hands, no matter how hard he tried to wash them. Pilate should have been resolved.”

  Okay, I think Will is God’s choice for me until I see Wayne, but at least I don’t have blood on my hands. That’s kind of harsh.

  Pastor Craig closes his Bible and leans on the podium. “Friends, you might be thinking because you aren’t in charge of life and death, you’re in good shape.”

  Uh-oh. I don’t like where this is going.

  “If you walked in here today thinking it’s the right thing to do on Easter to go to church, but you’ve never thought about the sacrifice Christ made and how you factor into it, consider this---He’s already made His decision about you. And it’s all about love and grace. Would you at the very least give Him some time at the altar to think about making a commitment for a relationship with Him?”

  That puts me in the clear. I’ve done that.

  Pastor Craig clears his throat. “Perhaps you have that faith but there is another decision you’re facing and instead of making it, you’re tossing out deals faster than Pilate.”

  My heartbeat feels like it’s qualifying for NASCAR.

  “You too are invited to come to the altar. Spend some time in prayer. Allow one of us to pray with you. Because as the great Ronald Reagan once said about a season of indecision he faced, ‘I learned then if I don’t make a decision, it will be made for me.”

  Looking around, everyone seems to nod and smile. If they feel sick and sweaty with anxiety, they aren’t showing it.

  I nearly sprint to the front for prayer.

  Brooke stands next to her husband and the two look ready to encourage anyone going forward. When I retreat to a corner so all of Speculator Falls won’t hear me confess and most likely cry, Brooke offers a kind smile and walks my way.

  “Carla. Is there anything I can pray about with you today?” Her voice is as soft as cotton.

  “Yes. I have a decision to make. I’ve been dishonest. I don’t like how weak I am, but when I try to stand and do the right thing, I’m confused.”

  She nods and wraps an arm around me. “I see. I’m going to go ahead and pray, okay?”

  “Thanks, Brooke. I’m struggling.”

  She closes her eyes. “Father, we come before You thanking You first for this day. For loving us so much You sent Your Son to die on the cross in our place. That He is alive and we celebrate that this Resurrection Sunday. We also thank You for Your nature. You forgive when we confess. Carla has admitted she has sinned. She’s not been truthful. She’s confused.”

  I try to close my eyes but right before I do, I see Will. He’s close to the front, but at a resp
ectful distance. He’s praying. That kind of deep prayer that storms the heavens. I don’t deserve such a kind man. Tears fall onto the carpet as soon as I shut my eyes.

  Brooke squeezes my shoulder. “Carla’s in a lot of transition this year and we ask in Your Son’s name that You order her steps and direct her path. Make her way clear. Eliminate all confusion in her life. And we give You thanks for that in advance, Father. You get the glory, honor and praise in Christ’s name. Amen.”

  I see she has watery eyes. Does she know my situation? “Thank you, Brooke.”

  “You’re very welcome. Carla, you’re an amazing woman of God. Don’t ever forget that.”

  Forget it? I need help believing it in the first place.

  ⌛⌛⌛

  Forty minutes later it feels like half the congregation is sitting around Ben’s long dining room table as Jenna and Sara place ham slices and boiled potatoes down. Noah starts to reach for the bowl until he looks at my we’re-going-to-wait face.

  Will leans in close to me. “Everything okay, Sweetheart? I was a little worried about you at the altar earlier.”

  I look at his sage eyes for a moment, my throat catches as I get caught up in how completely adorable he is. It’s much more than his enticing eyes, strong build, or handsome smile. His compassion is alluring. “It’s starting to be. Will, I don’t say it enough but when I looked over and saw you praying, it moved me. Dating a Godly man is a gift. Thank you for being amazing.”

  The room quiets as I speak and everyone hears my sentiments. I feel warmer as the crowd stares at us. My right hand reaches for Will’s. He lifts it and kisses the back of my palm.

  “I love you.” He mouths.

  I squeeze his hand. “I love you, too.”

  Ben clears his throat. “Well, on that sweet note, let’s say grace and dig in.”

  Not even an hour later I take plates back to the kitchen, wishing I’d worn stretchy pants to accommodate all I ate. Ben’s in there loading the dishwasher.

  “Hey, Ben. Great dinner. Thanks for having us.”

  He straightens. “I’d love to take the credit but Grandma and Jenna did the cooking. I can’t wait to marry that girl and have Jenna be in this house every day.” Ben glows every time he speaks my best friend’s name.

  “It won’t be long. After Easter is Memorial Day. You’re almost there.” I place two plates on the lower rack. “Say, Noah tells me you helped him put that Easter basket together for Brittany Niles.”

  He rinses some silverware. “Yeah. I had a great chocolate supplier this year. It was fun to help him.”

  “Thing is, do you think you should encourage him with this? He’s a kid.”

  Ben looks up, his eyebrows furrow. “What? You didn’t want him to give a girl some chocolate? I didn’t send him to Pastor for wedding counsel.” He tries to laugh, but it’s more like a snort.

  “I think Noah is way more interested in Brittany than she is in him. I don’t want him to get hurt.”

  He nods and turns off the water, turning toward me. “Carla, I don’t mean to offend you but Noah and I talk a lot at the store. He seems to have a good head on his shoulders. I’m sorry if I overstepped my bounds.”

  I close the dishwasher, glad we were able to have the conversation.

  “But know this, Carla. Noah talks a lot about you, too. And his dad. The boy’s convinced you and Wayne have a future because Noah says his father said as much.”

  I wince as the words come at me like blows to the stomach.

  “And if you’re worried about Noah being hurt, you better analyze your choices before you criticize others. Wasn’t thirty minutes ago you declared your love for my best friend in there, and Wayne’s nowhere to be seen.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Our long weekend off from school feels more like a month. I walk in the front door of Gloversville Beauty School trying to shake off my Speculator Falls life and remember where we’re at in our cosmetology classes.

  “Good morning, Carla. Did you have a nice weekend?” Brandi wears a pair of red frames that highlight her blue dress. She’s so fashionable.

  I stifle a yawn and fight images of Ben chastising me about Wayne. “I did. It was great to be with my son.”

  She takes a sip out of her GBS mug. “Teenager, right? How’s that going?”

  Now I’m trying to forget the memory of my little boy holding hands with Brittany. “So far, so good. It’s hard not to worry. I might even say impossible. He’s noticing girls and it scares me.” Like, a lot.

  Brandi nods. “I give you credit. I’m not sure I could be a good mom. There’s so much bad news everywhere. I would be scared to bring a child into the world.”

  I sigh and reach for my mug and pour some coffee from the pot. “It’s tempting to think negative all the time. I try to focus on the purpose I believe Noah has to make a positive difference in the world. He’s a great kid. I just wish he wasn’t growing up so fast.” I find the liquid creamer. “Don’t worry, one day you’ll realize what a great mom you will be and nothing will stand in your way.”

  She smiles. “Okay, I’ll believe you. But only because you’re such an honest person.”

  Ben’s stern face comes to mind once again.

  Oh, yeah. I’m a walking model for authenticity.

  After I make my drink, I head upstairs and see most of the gang is already in the classroom. Daniel and Claire are chatting, and in the opposite corner, so are Mitzi and Sandy. It looks like Ella’s in the back, where I take a seat. Once I put my bag on the next seat, I see it’s her. And her eyes are sunken in as if she hasn’t slept in weeks.

  “Hey, Ella. Everything okay?”

  She bites her lip and nods. “Yeah.”

  I unpack the book I need and reach for a highlighter before I take a seat. “Did you have a nice Easter?”

  She nods and places her arms on the desk, a dozen or so bracelets clang as she does. Although the room is almost stuffy, she’s wearing a heavy navy sweater. “It was nice. Kids were crazy with sugar highs.” Her voice is soft and she tries to smile but I think exhaustion rules.

  Opening my notebook, I know I’m playing sheriff. “You never told me what your husband does.”

  Ella looks at her book and randomly flips pages. I can barely hear her. “He’s between jobs.”

  Okay, unemployed because of economics and a layoff? Or, fired because of anger?

  “I’m sorry. I’m sure it’s stressful going to school and taking care of the house and kids. I have the one teenager and I know I’m exhausted a lot.”

  Another nod.

  I reach out and give her the slightest touch on the top of her hand.

  She winces.

  “If you need anything, I can help.”

  “Thank you.” Ella uses that hand to brush her eye. As the bracelets move, I see dark purple against her ivory skin.

  ⌛⌛⌛

  By the time I drag myself into Betty’s kitchen, it’s after six in the evening and I feel too tired to eat. But she has a pork chop casserole on the table and her sweet smile wears my resistance to decline.

  “How was your first day back, dear?”

  I take a pork chop and place it on my plate. “It was hard to get back into the groove. We’re still working on perms, and I think it’s all I can smell.” And all I can see is Ella’s bruised wrist.

  She reaches for the dish of green beans. “That doesn’t sound fun at all.”

  “I can’t believe in this day and age we haven’t come up with a chocolate scented permanent, you know?”

  We chuckle and eat in silence for a few minutes. Betty’s the first to speak.

  “Carla, I wanted to say once again how much I loved going with you to Speculator Falls. I had the best time with Sara. I can see why everyone loves her so.”

  I smile as I think about the matriarch who looks like Mrs. Claus but hugs like a wrestler. “Trust me, the feeling was mutual. Sara told me at the senior center how much she enjoyed your company. You have an open
invitation to join me anytime I go.” I take a pork chop bite and look into her kind eyes. “In fact, maybe you’d like to live there.”

  She gasps. “I don’t know. I’ve lived here since I was a newlywed.”

  “It’s just a thought. I realize change is hard. This morning I felt more like the sheriff than a hair stylist. It’s difficult to transition sometimes.”

  Betty arches her eyebrows. “What made you feel like you were still in law enforcement?”

  “I think one of the other students is a victim of domestic violence.”

  Another gulp of air from Betty. “That’s terrible. Is there anything you can do?”

  It’s hard not to be discouraged in the system. “I hope so.”

  She smiles and passes me the pork chop plate. Although I’m full, I take a small piece and watch her beam. “You’ll do your best, I know you will.”

  “Thank you. My prayer is I won’t be too late.”

  ⌛⌛⌛

  Before I study my notes and required reading, I call Will to see how he and Noah are doing. I want to be intentional about trying to make a wise choice. Pastor Craig’s Pilate sermon is definitely not something I want to be associated as.

  “Hi, Honey. How was school? Tough to get back in the routine?” His voice is as soft as a favorite blanket.

  “It was. The good news is everyone struggled, not just me. How about you and Noah?”

  There’s some background noise that I can’t quite distinguish before Will comes back on the line. “Sorry. You asked about us?”

  “Yeah. I wondered how your day was. And Noah’s.”

  “Right. Long. A lot of deliveries. One order wasn’t right.”

  Now I hear Noah’s voice, although I can’t make out what he’s saying, I can tell he’s talking loud. Then there’s muffled sounds.

  “Sorry. Noah had a question.”

  “Oh. Is everyone okay? Did he have a good day at school?”

  “Yeah, he’s fine. He wants to go to Jack Frosty’s but I said no. It’s a school night and he didn’t finish his homework. That was one of the things you told me to do, I hope I got it right.”