Entangled: Surrendering the Past (Surrendering Time Book 2)

by Julie Arduini

  “I’ve been like a kid waiting for the okay to come downstairs Christmas morning. I’m so glad you’re here for a long weekend.” He focuses on Betty. “Welcome back, Betty. We’re all happy you came for another visit.”

  She waves him off. “You’re too sweet. Now kiss that girl of yours. I can get out of the truck just fine. Is Noah here?”

  In my addled state I try to remember his schedule.

  Will shakes his head. “He’s at work.”

  Betty nods. “Ah. I baked some cookies for him. Oh, well. I’ll head in and put them in the kitchen. You two take your time.” She winks.

  When Will lowers his head toward mine, my heartbeat accelerates. It’s not fear or waffling, its anticipation. This man loves me, flaws and all. And I can’t wait to feel his gentle touch.

  His kiss is tender but takes my breath when it lasts longer than I’m used to for a greeting. When he breaks off the embrace, he’s wearing a grin. “I’ve been waiting all week for this moment.”

  I reach for his collar and hold it for a moment. “You make me wish I didn’t have most of this weekend tied up with the shower.”

  “We’ll have time together, I’ll make sure of it.” He cups his hands around my face and kisses me again before stepping back. “But first, there’s a dinner at Jack Frosty’s. Sara invited us and insists on paying. Betty, too. Ben and Jenna will be there once he closes the store.”

  I open my mouth to ask about Noah, but Will keeps talking.

  “Noah’s going out to Josh’s house to play video games. We’ll pick him up after dinner.”

  “You know me too well.”

  He reaches for my hand and gives it a squeeze. “Not as much as I’d like to. We need to steal away this weekend and talk. I feel like God is saying so much about us.”

  My lips still tingle from his touch. “I’d like that. I wanted to do the same.”

  Will lets go of my hand and walks to the back of the truck to retrieve our bags. “Babe, I think this is going to be a life changing weekend.”

  I close my eyes and take a breath. Please, Lord, let me be honest with Will and help him understand. Now that I know what I have, I don’t want to lose him.

  ⌛⌛⌛

  The sun tucks under the mountains and the stars are out as Sara, Betty, Jenna, Ben, Will and I finish the last of our dinners. With Will’s arm draped around my shoulder, I watch Ben with Jenna. He can’t keep his eyes off her. The serious businessman looks positively goofy.

  Betty takes a sip of water. “Are you ready for your shower, Jenna?”

  She sits straighter in the booth, her face glowing. “I’m so excited. It’s all the seniors have been talking about. Shirley probably is re-working her clipboard as we speak. But the day I really can’t wait for is the wedding day.” Jenna glances toward Ben.

  “I’m with you. I keep looking at the app on my phone that tracks the time left until you are Mrs. Jenna Regan. At first I was annoyed Noah and his friends put that thing on there, but now I stare at it all the time.”

  Sara looks to her grandson. “You remind me so much of your grandfather. You two have such a bright future ahead of you. Jenna, how are your parents doing? Are they okay that the wedding is here and not in Ohio?”

  Jenna wipes her mouth with her napkin and then places it on her finished plate. “They were surprised at first but now they’re excited. They plan to bring a lot of Youngstown wedding traditions here. I’m excited to share it all with you.”

  I could tear up watching the excitement bubble out of her. “First, we need to have your shower.”

  Jenna looks at her watch and sighs. “True. I suppose I better head home. It’s a long day tomorrow.” She reaches for her purse. “But I know it will be an amazing one. Thanks, Carla. You’re the best.”

  Will playfully elbows my arm. “Yeah, Carla. You are.” He then focuses on Sara. “Sara, do you mind taking Betty back to Carla’s? We have some things we want to talk about.”

  Jenna giggles and whispers as she passes by me to get her umbrella. “Double wedding.”

  Sara replies to Will so I can ignore Jenna. “Absolutely. Take your time. I’ll keep Betty company.”

  Betty smiles. “I’d enjoy that. Take your time, kids.”

  Once Wendy the manager picks up the last of our plates, Sara insists on paying for our meals. Ben announces he’ll take care of the tip. We gather our things and most everyone heads to the front. I linger for a moment as Ben digs in his pocket.

  “Ben, I wanted to say something. We go way back, and you’re marrying my best friend.”

  He looks up, brows arched, as he pulls out a stack of bills. “This about Will? Or Wayne?”

  I bite my lip. “Yes. You deserve to know Wayne did pursue me. And I was tempted. Briefly. I’m going to confess that to Will tonight. And tell him how deeply committed I am to him.”

  The money drops on the table. “You mean it? You aren’t responding to pressure? Because Wayne will always be in the picture.”

  “I understand. Will is the one I love. But any future we have needs to be founded on Christ and based on trust. I wanted you to know.”

  Ben clears his throat. “Will is the most decent guy Speculator Falls could ever know, next to my grandpa.”

  My voice catches. “I know.”

  Suddenly, he smiles. “And you, Carla Rowling, are one of the strongest women in all the Adirondack Mountains. You’re the perfect fit for Will.”

  ⌛⌛⌛

  Twenty minutes later Will and I stroll down the sidewalk to Moffitt Beach. There’s a park bench next to the lamp post. If that’s not enough accountability, Pastor and Brooke live across the street.

  “So, finally alone.” Will sighs.

  “Seems impossible these days, doesn’t it?” I sit facing him.

  “It’s short term. At least, that’s what I wanted to talk about.”

  I suck in a gasp of air. This conversation isn’t going where I think it is, is it?

  “Okay. Well, may I speak first? It’s important.” Are my words stuttering? Ears ringing?

  He places his hand on top of mine. “Absolutely.”

  Here goes nothing.

  “There’ve been so many changes this year. Howard’s gift, Noah transitioning into a teenager, leaving the sheriff’s department, starting school, Jenna’s wedding, Wayne being back. It’s been a lot more stressful than I’ve let on.”

  Will caresses my shaking hand. “You’ve handled it like a champ. Seriously, Carla. I don’t know how you balance it all, but you do.”

  A nervous laugh escapes. “Not as well as you think. I need to tell you something. I should have earlier.”

  I can’t tell with the lamppost glare if he’s starting to pale. But he takes away his hand and wipes it on his jeans.

  “This sounds heavy.”

  “That fight you and Noah had the night I was on the phone. He mentioned Wayne, and I laughed it off.”

  His head bobs as he kicks at some rocks. “I remember.”

  I take a breath in hopes of steadying myself but a messy sob rushes out. “Wayne told me he had feelings. He asked me to make a choice.”

  Will jumps up and starts pacing in front of the bench. “What? How long ago?”

  “I don’t know the exact date. But what I wanted you to know is…”

  He doesn’t wait. “You chose him. Of course you did. He’s the father of your child.”

  I stand and try to reach out to him, but he’s weaving like a boxer. “That isn’t it at all. I choose you. But I wanted to be honest and let you know there was a season Wayne wanted me to consider leaving you. I didn’t, and I told him so.”

  He stops and there’s complete silence for what feels like a full minute. A sound comes out but I can’t tell if it’s a laugh or a grunt. Or something altogether different. “Let me get this straight. A while ago, as in longer than days or weeks ago, probably months, Wayne confessed his feelings for you. Wayne who ran the second you told him you were pregnant. The guy No
ah rarely saw until he moved here almost a year ago. He asked you to make a choice between him and me.”

  I nod, even though he isn’t looking at me.

  “And then, you don’t tell me. Even when I straight up ask.”

  “Will, I’m sorry. I handled it poorly.” I sound like a small child on her way to the timeout chair.

  “So you held information from me and you lied. Am I following this correctly?” His voice rises to a level I’ve never heard from him before.

  Desperation taints my plea. “Please forgive me. That sermon at Easter really helped me understand I had to make a choice, that I was being unfair to you.”

  He sits down on the bench and buries his face in his hands.

  I brush a tear from the corner of my eye. “Will? Say something. Please.”

  Will shakes his head. “You never said a word. Then you lied. That’s not even the worst of it.” He stands and gestures for me to follow. He’s on a fast track back to where his car is. “You took months to decide.”

  I sprint to catch up. “I know. So foolish of me.”

  “Carla, I get I’m not a handsome, charismatic guy like Wayne. I hear the flannel jokes. But there’s no one that loves more deeply than I do. I took care of Noah without hesitation. I did everything you ever asked and plenty more you never did. And you had to think about who to choose. For months.”

  Our voices seem to break together, but it’s the only unity we have between us. Since Noah’s accident at school, I’ve never felt more fear. Not even when Wayne left. “Can you forgive me?”

  He unlocks his truck and opens the door for me, something that only triggers more of my tears. “I need some space Carla.”

  Okay. At least he’s speaking to me.

  “Right. Did you want to meet up after the shower?”

  He starts the vehicle. “I don’t think so.”

  I nearly double over from the pain I feel. “You wanted to talk. Is it too late?”

  It’s another long pause before I barely hear his reply. “Please give me some space. It’s the very least you could do.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Even hidden in the bathroom lifting the wet washcloth off my eyes, I still look red and puffy. Every time I think about Will’s parting words and remember the silence as he dropped me off, I recite that this is Jenna’s day. There’s no way I want her to know. In fact, my coward heart doesn’t want anyone to realize Will reacted just as I deserve.

  There’s a knock on the door followed by a teen’s deepening yet squeaky voice. “Mom, Ben’s picking me up in a few minutes for work, then after we’ll go to the shower to help pack up the stuff. Is Will meeting us there?”

  Another look in the mirror. There’s no way I can pull this off. I open the door and paste on a smile. “No, sweetie. I think it’s you two. I’ll help, though.”

  He nods, his bangs falling into his eyes. I need to cut those.

  “Oh. Is he working?”

  No more lies. But he can’t know. Not yet. “No, he just said he can’t be there.”

  That seems to satisfy him as he saunters down the hall.

  I walk to my room and look inside my closet. The party dresses all look so bright and festive. Today’s the day I want to dress and appear as drab as Daniel always accuses me of possessing. I pull out a tan pair of capris and a purple short-sleeved blouse.

  As soon as I arrive in the kitchen I find Betty at the table with a full cup of coffee in front of her. “Busy day today. You should get some caffeine in you.”

  I sit and try not to look at her. “Thanks. I definitely need energy.”

  “You want to talk about it?”

  Okay, now I have to face her. “I’m sorry?”

  She reaches over and pats my arm. “Carla, Will dropped you off last night without walking you to the door and roared off like he was losing a drag race. You waved goodnight to Sara and me and went straight to your room. And, I think I heard you crying throughout the night.” Her blue eyes are so kind and safe.

  A shudder accents the cry I can’t contain. “I took Will for granted. Last night I confessed some things, and he asked for space. I lost him, Betty.”

  She stands and immediately walks over with arms outstretched. “Oh, honey. I’m sorry.”

  I rise, body shaking from sobs. “The look he had when I told the truth. I’ll never forget it.”

  Betty strokes my hair as she holds me. “Things will seem better. They always do. Give him some time.”

  “I’m not sure. Everything seemed so final.”

  She steps back and waves her hand. “My husband and I had quite the spat when we were engaged. I had cold feet and didn’t dare let on. He knew, but he wanted me to trust him enough to tell him. I didn’t. And when it all came out, he was furious. It took two weeks, two long, miserable weeks, but we both came around.”

  “What if he won’t look after Noah while I’m at school? What if he won’t talk to him, either? It will crush Noah.”

  Betty chuckled. “I can’t picture Will doing such a thing.” She walks to her suitcase. “Now, we have a shower to attend. Let’s focus on that, and we’ll face everything else later.”

  I nod and take a sip of coffee. “Thanks, Betty. You’re a godsend.”

  She digs into her luggage and pulls out an envelope. “You’re sweet. It’s you who has been an answer to prayer for me. Okay. I have a card and money ready for Jenna. Let me know when you’re ready.”

  With another swig of black liquid, I walk over to my purse and open up my compact. Still puffy, but thankfully, all eyes will be on Jenna.

  ⌛⌛⌛

  Two hours later, Jenna walks through the threshold in a robin’s egg, lace dress with her hair still intact in the bun we created an hour before. Not even all the candlelight can compete with the glow she carries as she greets everyone.

  Shirley escorts her to the head table. All the guests stand and clap as Jenna takes a seat.

  “You guys are too much,” Jenna gushes. “But I love it.”

  Laughter fills the air. Shirley grabs a microphone off the table and turns it on. “We love you, Jenna, and hope this shower blesses you. It’s a busy afternoon so let’s get started.” She consults her clipboard. “First, let’s fill the other seats at the head table.”

  I’m not sure what Shirley’s up to. There are three seats up front, but I’m the only local bridesmaid. My head’s too foggy to remember what we wrote on the agenda.

  “Okay. I’m ready for anything.” Jenna couldn’t stop smiling even if someone wired her jaw shut. It was months ago she overreacted with Ben and was certain they were done.

  God, please let Will and I have a happy ending.

  Shirley grips the microphone and turns so the audience and the guest of honor can see her. “Good thing because I have a surprise for you. Jenna, your mom and sister, Megan, are here!”

  Two women emerge from behind the threshold and run to the front. Jenna jumps up and squeals, throwing her arms around the two in a group hug that’s instantly surrounded by happy tears.

  That Shirley is a genius. I didn’t even think of having her family travel from Ohio for this. Another regret seizes my stomach.

  The trio breaks apart and faces the crowd. Black streaks line Jenna’s cheeks but it doesn’t take away from her beauty.

  Jenna looks toward Shirley’s direction, then mine. “You guys, how did you pull this off?” She turns to her mom and younger sister. “And you two. No one said a word. I can’t believe it, especially after I called whining about how far away you were from here.”

  Meg looks like Jenna’s clone except for lighter, shoulder length hair. “It wasn’t easy. So, where are all the single lumberjacks?”

  More laughter. My queasy stomach tightens again. What I’d give to see Will walk through in his plaid flannel shirt.

  Servers appear with carts full of food. It feels like the room is closing in as voices mingle and I keep seeing Will walk away. Suddenly Shirley’s edict booms through the mic
rophone.

  “Carla. When we decided to have you pray over the meal I didn’t mean in silence. C’mon up and get the microphone.”

  I attempt to giggle but it isn’t there as I march toward Jenna’s right hand woman at the senior center. “Sorry, I kind of spaced for a moment.”

  “Well, get with it girl. You’re up after lunch with games.”

  Yeah, games. The thing I’ve been playing for months and no longer want to be around.

  ⌛⌛⌛

  Three hours, four games and probably two hundred sheets of tissue paper and gift bags later, Ben and Noah dismantle the balloon threshold and start taking presents to Ben’s truck. Most of the guests are gone and Shirley sits with her shoes off, rubbing her foot.

  I sit across from her. “You did an amazing job. I never thought about Jenna’s family.”

  “You live as long as me, you’ll have been to your share of parties. I thought it would be a great surprise for everyone.” Her large brown eyes look tired.

  “It was. You sit and rest. I’ll handle clean up.” I pat her arm as I stand and walk to the table next to her.

  “You’re a good girl, Carla. Thanks.”

  I stack the dirty dishes and head to the kitchen when Ben looks up, says something to Noah, and walks toward me.

  “Hey.” He starts picking up utensils at the same table.

  “Hi, Ben. You have quite the haul to take back to the house.” I don’t look up, but keep stacking dishes.

  “Will stopped by today.” I nearly drop the saucer I picked up. “So you know?”

  He reaches for the empty water pitcher. “That Will’s hurting? Yes.”

  Tears threaten and I turn to another table, but Ben apparently knows avoidance when he sees it.

  He closes in on the distance between us and puts the jug down. “He’ll come around, Carla.”

  I nod, still not able to look him in the eyes. “I should have told the truth from the beginning. I was a fool.”

  He chuckled. “Some of us learn the hard way. You do remember how I treated Jenna when she first moved here, right?”

  Oh, right. There wasn’t a more wounded man with a wall of defense to surround him from being hurt again.