Falling for Ava

by Pamela Ann

  “Reiss …” she sobbed, more tears welling up in her sullen eyes as she softly whispered, “make love to me.”

  I froze on the spot, wondering if I had heard her correctly.

  “Ava, you’re upset. You don’t have to sacrifice anything to make me feel better. It might not have seemed like it earlier, but just seeing you tonight made me feel better inside.”

  She shook her head, speaking her mind, “I want you on me … all of you, Reiss, inside me.”

  Fuck, how often had I dreamt of her telling me this? Far too much, to be exact. After what had occurred today, I didn’t want her regretting giving her virginity to me. It was sacred, and she should guard it until she was ready to give it away. As much as it pained me to reject her, I knew I should put her needs first, even though it might seem that she didn’t want me to.

  “Ava”—my voice hinted a warning—“you’re not ready for this, especially not right after what happened with your mum. I understand you might be upset, but you must know that you don’t have to do anything to keep me happy. Having you here is enough. Loving you is enough for me.”

  “It might be enough for you…” she countered without batting an eyelid, “but it isn’t for me, Reiss. I want this—I want you,” she passionately declared, making me feel as if my lungs were full and about to combust. “I want to share something special, something beautiful with you. I want to feel this experience with you and no other man. So, please, stop turning me down and start showing me how much you love me.”

  “You have to think this through. You can’t simply be sporadic about it,” I insisted, hoping she’d change her mind. “Once you give it away, you can never take it back. I don’t want you to ever regret your first time. I’d never forgive myself if you do.”

  As much as I would love to experience being inside her where no man had ever been, the worst thing I feared was for her to wake up the next morning and regret the fact that she had chosen me, someone so unworthy of her. I might not admit it out loud, but her mother’s words had dug deep because she was right; I wouldn’t be able to take care of her the way she needed to be taken care of. What could a bloke like me offer her? My future certainly didn’t have millions attached to it. All I had was love. And, even though it sounded laughable to many, I had vowed to give her everything I had and would always treat her with respect and affection.

  Seventeen might be too young to know what love was; however, I knew my heart was all hers. Every fiber in my body, my soul, my instincts knew she was the one. And that was one of the reasons I didn’t want to jeopardize what we had at the moment for some sexual release. I wouldn’t have it that way. What we had was too delicate and precious to risk for a night of pleasure.

  “Sporadic …? Why would you suggest such a thing?” She seemed disappointed in my choice of words. “I have known from the first time I saw you that I wanted it to be you. You unleash something scary inside me when you’re around. Don’t you see? I’m just as crazy as you are. I hadn’t meant to take it this slow with you, but I’m glad I did. Even though it pained you to not go all the way with me, your restraint showed me just how much you felt for me. This past month has been nothing but exquisite torture, and I’d love nothing more than for you to show me what you’ve wanted to do all along.”

  Without hesitation, she slid from the bed and slowly stripped off her clothes before me until she was fully naked, exposing her neatly trimmed pussy.

  My cock twitched in response as my eyes took in her pert breasts and toned body. I wanted her like no other, although I was still hesitant. Once we crossed this line, there was no taking it back, and I would want her all the bloody damn time. If I was addicted to her before sex, I’d surely be ten times more pathetic after experiencing her.

  “I’m wet,” she remarked as she joined me again, but this time, she straddled my hips, taking the lead. I only had my boxer briefs on, not much of a hindrance if Ava was serious about her mission. Having her at this angle made me groan as she slowly rocked her tight cunt against the fabric of my underwear.

  “Shit—oh, shit!” she hissed, lost in the moment as she rocked her hips harder against me. “God, you feel so good. You’re going to feel even more amazing fucking me.”

  Christ. Bloody. Mother fucking Christ. How filthy her mouth was and how arousing it was to hear it from her.

  Watching in amazement, I became her instrument of pleasure as she almost reached her orgasm. I had to take control before her release, needing to take the lead before she got out of hand. Then things would definitely become insane. I needed to control the situation, or I’d handle this callously.

  “You need to slow down, princess. You can’t simply have an orgasm without my permission.”

  She made a husky laugh as I rolled her over on her back with me situated nicely between her thighs, thrusting as the protruding tip of my cock probed her pussy gently.

  “Are you quite sure you’re ready for this, Ava?” My hips thrust harder this time, teasing the hot opening of her canal, as we both groaned in unison at the delicious feeling it gave our bodies.

  “Trust me, Reiss, if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be naked with my legs wide open, inviting you in.” She wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing me senselessly. “Make me yours, Mr. Chambers, or must I do it myself?”

  She is truly wicked, I remarked internally while gazing down upon her lovingly.

  She had taken my heart and everything else. I was all in—all hers.

  I didn’t need any more convincing that she was ready to go all the way. As much as I tried to be the righteous one, I couldn’t deny us any longer. I needed her just as she needed me. Sex truly was different when you loved the other person. Tonight, sex didn’t even exist; we were making love in the most carnal way possible. Even though it was her first time, she kept begging for me not to hold back. I felt every breath she took. Every single moan that escaped her lips. Most of all, I experienced her full trust when she gave me the signal to break her through.

  The gift she exclusively gave me made me feel honored. And, though she hadn’t said the words I longed to hear, tonight had sealed what I believed—she was truly in love with me.

  Chapter 12

  Two weeks later

  Ava

  Things became heated between Reiss and me. After that night I went to see him in the cottage, he and I hadn’t gone a day without becoming one. Although, he did strongly suggest it might be healthy for us to skip a day or two because he didn’t want me to be sick of him.

  I appreciated his effort in trying to protect our relationship with abstinence, but it was me who had the toughest problem in curtailing my appetite. I couldn’t help it; I just wanted him like I had never wanted anyone in my life before.

  It came to the point where he went out to the pub with his friends, and out of the blue, I had this inane idea of seeing if he truly was there. He was there … and so was his ex-lover.

  I wasn’t daft enough to think I was his first. Of course I knew he’d had girls fawning all over him and clamoring for his undivided attention. One look at those crystal green eyes and one could never look away. I definitely was one of his hopeless victims.

  Reiss wouldn’t break my heart—I knew that—but it certainly didn’t curb the feelings of insecurity when I saw his ex openly flirting with him.

  I didn’t even hesitate in going inside the pub, bringing him to the nearest bathroom and letting him take me up against the stall. It was irrational; however, my primal instincts took ground, and I simply had to take action and declare what was mine. I was crazy for him, and sometimes I hated the fact that I was. So did my mother.

  She too hated the idea of me possibly not ending things with Reiss, because she deemed him “bottom of the barrel” or a “filthy pig that was after money.”

  “You can’t be serious about this abhorrent behavior of yours, Ava! I mean, what would my friends think if they found out my daughter—my only daughter—has been kissing a gardener? Our name would never be ta
ken seriously again. We’d be the brunt of their jokes. I cannot have you ruining what your father’s worked hard for. He won’t tolerate this kind of shameful behavior.”

  My mother’s cold, silvery eyes sharpened on me. “You better end this, or so help me God, I will tell your father everything. Do you hear me, young lady? I will tell him to cut your allowance, and you’ll be looking for a job to sustain your lifestyle amongst friends. We shall see how long you’d last without support from us.”

  Her threats came daily, and I was on borrowed time. But, each time I tried to dwell on it, I couldn’t fathom letting him go just yet. Therefore, I endured her cruel words, and most of the time, I’d lash back at her, stating she didn’t know him like I did. But the other times, I had to wonder if my mother had spoken any truth. They did say parents knew better, didn’t they?

  So, yes, I was guilty of pondering what she had planted in my head. At times, my mother’s never-ending, grueling sermons would turn to saving myself for the likes of Ashton Westwood, a long time close friend who happened to be my father’s closest comrade’s son. It was shameful to admit, but at those times, I would seek Reiss out for sex and avoid anything that dealt with emotions.

  It was a cold-hearted thing to do; however, I couldn’t help it. My mother’s warnings had injected themselves deep into my psyche, and at the same time, I was fighting this indescribable connection I had with Reiss. It was rather tough to be in this position, but I couldn’t sacrifice him just yet. I wasn’t ready to let go, even though I knew the time would come when I eventually would have to. Because, if I was honest with myself, I had meant for this to be a summer fling, no strings attached. It wasn’t right to think that way, yet when I had first seen Reiss, I just couldn’t stay away. I had to do everything in my power for him to notice me and make him mine.

  Even if my brain was giving me warnings, I didn’t pay heed, because my body was in charge. It felt as though we had a magnetic pull, and I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Him treating me like I walked on water was merely an added bonus. Never in my life had I had a guy give me such love and attention to the point that it made me feel guilty for leading him on, for leading us on without giving him an idea that I didn’t have any plans in continuing this relationship once I headed back to boarding school.

  In the very beginning, when our relationship was blossoming, I had attempted to tell him a few times. However, each time he gazed at me with such pure affection, I couldn’t bear to break it to him. I just couldn’t. It was cruel to keep him in the dark yet even crueler to break his trust.

  Either way, I couldn’t get away from this unscathed. As much as I avoided having the discussion with him, I knew I had to one day. Summer was halfway over; there wasn’t much time left. But as the days went on, it became harder to even think about.

  Then, one day, life decided to step in and give me a glaring reason to follow through.

  It was on a Saturday afternoon when things started to go downhill for me. Ashton along with several common friends came to see me for an unexpected visit. All five of us, consisting of three guys and two girls, had grown up together since our parents were all interconnected through friends and family.

  My instincts were screaming at me to drag them away to the nearest hotel or volley back to London and spend the weekend there. However, seeing how my friends looked pleasantly comfortable, lounging about the sitting room, it would be rather impossible to drag them out. Maybe I should wait a few hours or so until I brought up the brilliant idea of spending time somewhere else.

  Appearing bright and cheerful, I immediately played the perfect hostess, offering refreshments and tea sandwiches. We were in the garden room that was decorated in white with a lot of glass panes and a wide French door that led to the well-tended gardens. It served as our receiving/lounge room because it had quiet elegance, and the view was quite magnificent. It was one of my favorite places in the house and one I had used to gaze at Reiss as he went about his business.

  Reiss. Drat.

  “Did we catch you at an awful time? You don’t seem too ecstatic to see us.” Ashton comfortably sat next to me, gazing at me as if he had missed me.

  Feigning a smile, I appeared gleeful enough, yet deep down, I was a nervous wreck. “Of course I am happy to see you all. I just hadn’t expected it. I thought we were meeting in London in two weeks. You could’ve at least warned me about it.” Had he done so, I could’ve had time to mentally prepare myself instead of being panicky about the situation.

  “And what?” He beamed. “Ruin the surprise? I think not.” His fingers caught a stand of my hair before aimlessly twirling it around.

  Ashton’s habits consisted of always trying to touch me whenever he could. He had been my first kiss, after all. He and I had been on and off for as long as I could remember. We were on when we saw each other and off when we didn’t. My holidays always had him in them, and this time, I was almost positive he was thinking we were back in the on phase. It would have been fine except Reiss was still in the picture. As a result, I was back to my dilemma.

  “I’ve missed you, Ava.”

  Giving him a weary look, I tried to say something that would dispel him from gazing at me with adoration, but nothing came to mind. The thing was, I had missed him, too. I considered Ashton one of my closest friends. He and I were quite alike, and that was why we got on so well.

  “I have to talk to you about something …” the words finally found their way out, but the receiver didn’t seem to get the hint.

  “Come here, love, and give me a proper kiss.” He tried to pull me close; however, I gave him a slashing look before I diverted my eyes towards where our friends were sitting and chatting, making it appear I was unwilling to do a major PDA display in front of our peers.

  “Can we do that later?” My heart was beating so fast I almost sounded breathless. I needed to get out of here quickly before I hyperventilated due to massive anxiety. “I, uh, need to check on something.”

  Gradually getting back on my feet, I let my eyes roam towards the food on the table and had the brilliant idea to replenish some of the sandwiches and see if there were freshly baked pastries to serve, as well.

  “I’ll be back with more nibbles,” I said as I strode out of the garden room, lost in thought as I robotically navigated towards the kitchens.

  Entering the busiest part of the house where our cooks bustled to prepare for dinnertime, I was about to ask Dasha if she could prepare some more hors d’oeuvres when the kitchen door opened across the room that led towards the back entry, and in came Reiss. The entryway was for catering and bringing in produce without using the main entrance, which my mother had a distinct request for “the help”, as she odiously put it, not to ever use.

  Since Reiss’s mother was one of the household staff, it wasn’t uncommon for him to come in and mingle with the other staff, but this was the first time we had been in the same room with people who might know or might not know about us. He was brightly beaming at me, and I was too perplexed to do anything other than stare at him.

  Alarm bells were ringing inside my head. Ashton was in the other room, and I wasn’t sure how to fully explain things with either Reiss or Ashton without causing an uproar between the men.

  With my brain half-functioning, I addressed Dasha and requested more food as I ought to have done the second I emerged in the kitchen. I had gotten too distracted by unexpectedly seeing Reiss and feeling this immense sharp pain inside my chest when I came to realize how badly I’d missed him.

  Too guilty to even glance in his direction, I gradually retreated as I tried to regulate my shaky breathing.

  How in God’s name did I break it to him? He’d been telling me he was crazy in love and he’d do anything to continue making me happy. Subsequently, this—what I was about to do later tonight—would truly make him hate me.

  Halfway through my route towards the garden room, I had to halt my steps, stopping midway as I scrambled to the nearest powder room to gath
er my thoughts. I was hyperventilating and couldn’t seem to get my bearings.

  Things between Ashton and I were complicated, but with Reiss, things were simple. All he needed was me, and he never asked for much else. He never demanded, never urged for anything. He treated me like porcelain and never failed to make me feel beautiful.

  His eyes …Each time they landed on me, I always saw how much he cared, how much he adored and loved me. I hated myself for what was to come, yet I knew I had to do it. Nothing would come of us if I stayed with him.

  “Ava?” A soft knock against the door made me jump to consciousness. “Can I come in?” Reiss’s gentle voice asked softly.

  I didn’t say a thing; however, the door still opened as a cautious looking Reiss entered. The moment he saw me leaning against the washbasin, his infectious smile appeared, making me feel all the more like a truly horrid human being.

  “Hey, princess,” he greeted as he crossed the space dividing us. “Everything okay? I had to come in to see you and tell you I can’t wait to have you all to myself tonight.”

  Upon reaching me in my frozen post, his finger lifted my chin to meet his kiss, leaving me more of a wreck because I loved everything he did to me. I loved his touch and how he made me feel, and I was going to let it all go.

  “Reiss …” I started, looking away as I stared at his lips. “I doubt I can come tonight … or any other night, for that matter.” My voice came out as a whisper, almost breaking as I tried to steel myself inside. “I’m sorry—I’m sorry for everything. I truly am. If things were different, it wouldn’t be like this, but they aren’t, and I must do what is best for the both of us. I can’t continue this. I must cut ties with you.”

  Fear gripped him as he cupped my cheeks, seeking me out. “No, Ava! Don’t you bloody dare do it! Don’t let your mother get between us. We’re stronger than that. We’re better than that. I love you, you know I do. I love you so bloody much I’ve done things I never thought possible.”