Loving the Lawman

by Ruth Logan Herne

  “Yes, well, the lights.”

  Thwarted by his own preparations, he knew exactly what she meant. He’d bathed the yard in welcoming light two years before, hoping and praying the light would greet Tori’s homecoming someday. The fact that his good intentions went awry hit low. “Sorry. I wanted everything to be lit up for you when you came back. You know. Cheerful. Happy to see you.”

  She peeked a smile up at him, then leaned into his knee as she yawned.

  And, oh, that feeling. Having her there, leaning on him, seeking his support. The smile, the tiny glimpse of the dimple he’d missed so much.

  His heart pressured the walls of his chest.

  Could she stay?

  Was Jasmine playing another one of her games? Was she going to show up here soon and reclaim her beautiful daughter?

  Tori yawned again. She needed sleep. There’d be plenty of time for talking tomorrow. It was late, and as he walked her down the hall to her old bedroom, he ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t have any clothes your size, honey. The stuff in here is more than two years old.” He hit the light switch, and the pink-and-green room warmed in the glow.

  Tears filled Tori’s eyes. “You kept it the same.”

  She looked surprised and humbled. Seth bent low. “Of course I did. It’s your room, Tori.”

  “But Mom said...” Her voice wavered. Her face gave him a glimpse of hardship and want. “I thought everything would be different. That you wouldn’t want me anymore.”

  Anger knotted the base of his spine. Why would someone tell a child lies like that? To shush her? Make her stop asking about him, about coming home?

  He bent low and locked his gaze with hers, speaking slowly and softly. “I will always want you, honey. You’re my daughter, no matter what the legalities say. I rocked you, carried you, played with you and taught you how to roller-skate and ride a two-wheeler.”

  “And ski,” she added.

  She’d caught on to skiing as if she was born to the slopes. He smiled and cupped her cheek with his hand. “This is your home, Tor. And it always will be. No matter what anyone says.” He frowned at the dresser drawers. “But I don’t have pajamas that will fit you. What’s in your bag?”

  She appeared surprised that she still clutched the ratty backpack in her hand. “Just my stuff.”

  Her stuff, her worldly goods, shoved into a threadbare backpack with plenty of room to spare.

  But he wouldn’t think about that. He’d focus on the here and now, the blessing he’d found at his door. The grace of Tori’s return. They’d sort it all out after much-needed sleep. He went to switch off the light and a look of utter panic filled her eyes. “No, please. I can sleep with the light on, okay?”

  His heart read her terror and he wanted to seriously hurt someone because no child should ever have to fear the dark. But he didn’t want Tori to see his anger. He breathed deep, smiled and tucked her into bed, grubby clothes and all. “Then lights on it is, Pumpkin.”

  Her eyes filled with tears, but then they closed in slumber before the tears could escape. All but one, and that tiny tear snaked a path down her cheek.

  Seth caught it on his finger, his heart sorrowed by whatever she’d endured, but blessed by her presence. He knelt beside her bed, grasping her hand in his and let his soul sing a Psalm of thanksgiving, praising God with silent shouts of gladness. Seeing her there, sound asleep, wedged open a door to his heart he’d thought forever closed.

  Light seeped through the cracks, hinting of possibility. For the moment he’d grasp that hope and run with it.

  He called into work, explained the situation to the nighttime command and took a two-day emergency family leave to get things in order. Two days wasn’t much, but with the department shorthanded, it would have to do. And if he got his wish, they’d have a lifetime to fix what had gone so terribly wrong. As long as Jasmine went along with it—and when it came to his former wife, that was never a given. Usually things came with strings attached, and Tori’s sudden reappearance?

  In this case the “strings” might be more like financial “ropes,” but he’d been preparing for this opportunity since the day Jasmine had vanished with Tori. He’d scrimped and saved, getting ready to do whatever proved necessary to keep Tori with him.

  He just prayed it would be enough.

  He called his parents now that Tori was asleep and his work schedule rearranged. “Mom? Tori’s back.”

  “What?”

  He felt exactly the same way. “I came home from work tonight and she was on the back step.”

  “In this cold? Are you kidding me? Who does that to a child?”

  Mom had never been a big fan of Jasmine. Dumping your kid on a frigid, snowy night clearly hadn’t raised her estimations of her former daughter-in-law. “She thought I was here because of the lights.”

  “Oh.” His mother’s voice calmed. She knew the reason he’d kept the yard lit up like an airport was to welcome Tori home someday. His plan had backfired, but Tori was safe and warm now. Here at home, right where she belonged. “She’s got nothing so I need to take her shopping tomorrow.”

  “Wonderful! I’ll come along if that’s okay.”

  He laughed, feeling the first vestige of peace he’d known in years. “It would be if you were in town, but you’re in Buffalo tomorrow for that hardware convention with Dad.”

  “Your father is perfectly capable of going alone.”

  Seth knew that. But he also knew that his mother was the Campbell with the uncanny knack for knowing what goods to push in season. What fads would pay and what would end up collecting dust in the back room. Therefore—

  “I’ll take her. If we get stuck I’ll call you. Or we can go back Wednesday. I took two days off so I can get her enrolled in school.”

  “You’re sure she’s staying, son?”

  He didn’t miss the note of caution in his mother’s voice, the tone that said Jasmine wasn’t to be trusted. He’d learned that the hard way, but right now he had little choice. “I’m not sure of anything at the moment, but I’m going to get things in order assuming it will all work out. And school’s a must.”

  “I can’t wait to see her.”

  “I know. She’s grown. She missed you a lot. If you’ve got Wednesday free, we can finish things up together then. I’ll take my two best girls to lunch.”

  “Perfect!”

  As he hung up the phone, Gianna’s image came to mind, as if lunch wouldn’t be complete without the petite, sassy Italian woman offering advice.

  Having seen the goods now being displayed in her old-world store, he realized she had a knack for putting together a look. But her life appeared no more ordered than his, and he had enough drama and turmoil to last a lifetime. The last thing he wanted was more. And yet when he finally lay down to sleep, it was Gianna’s face that drifted through his mind. Pretty. Saucy. Independent. And offering her life up for twin babies she was destined to raise alone. The kind of Solomonesque sacrifice a true mother would make.

  That thought made him smile as he dozed off.

  * * *

  “A different light this morning,” Carmen mused as she puttered around the store just before dawn, setting up her sewing corner. “Upstairs, too. That’s odd.”

  “What’s odd is your fascination with our neighbor’s sleeping habits,” Gianna retorted. “Let’s not be ‘those’ neighbors, okay?”

  “I’m not.” Carmen sent her a tart look. “But looking out for others isn’t the same as being nosy. There’s a fine line, my girl.”

  “Our family doesn’t just cross the line, we steamroll it,” Gianna reminded her as she glanced across the street. Their kitchen window offered a perfectly framed view of Seth’s home.

  Gram was right. The upper left-hand corner of the house had two windows, one facing sou
th, one facing west. Both windows were lit, and she’d never noticed those lights on before.

  Not that she’d looked, of course.

  She fought a grumbling sigh, knowing she let Seth get too close on Sunday. Now she’d need to nip the attraction again. But the truth was, she didn’t want to.

  A conundrum. She was living multiple conundrums, mostly of her own doing, and she didn’t need another, but the mellow glow of that upstairs light made her wonder what was going on....

  And that curiosity was exactly the reason she’d gone into this pregnancy incognito. Because nosiness ran in her family, and she wasn’t about to jump on the need-to-know bandwagon.

  As daylight flooded the lakeside village, she couldn’t shake the image of those corner windows, filled with light against the snow-crusted roofline. The Currier and Ives beauty of spilling lamplight made her smile, no matter what reason lay behind the soft glow. The heartwarming view made the cop who lived alone more of a mystery.

  Minding her own business had become her mantra years ago. She decided she’d do well to reembrace that mind-set now.

  * * *

  “I had to peek in and see if I was dreaming.” Seth grinned at the tousle-haired girl tucked beneath the handmade quilt his mother had created for Tori a few years before. “And if this is dreaming, kid, I don’t want to wake up.”

  “Dad.” She reached for him, and he crossed the room quickly. Gathering her into his arms, he held her close, inhaling the scent of her. When he finally set her back down, he sank onto the bed next to her.

  “Tell me again how you got here. Did your mother really drop you off, or did you run away?”

  “She dropped me off,” Tori began. She turned her face to the window, but not before Seth read the look within. She wanted to be here. He knew that.

  But what she wanted more than that, and what she would probably never have, was the normal love of a mother willing to sacrifice for her child. Jasmine wasn’t the sacrificial sort, as his mother had warned him years ago.

  He hadn’t listened. And if he had, where would Tori be today?

  Where will Tori be tomorrow is the better question, his conscience cut in. You still have no legal right to keep this child. She’s not yours and never was. Are you going to be stupid again?

  No, Seth decided. He’d take this step-by-step and enjoy each day they had, because that would show Tori the meaning of true parental love, something he’d taken for granted as a kid. Now he realized the rarity of that daily sacrifice. “Did she give you a number where we can reach her? Did she sign the court papers I sent her last year?”

  Confusion clouded Tori’s features. “I don’t know.”

  “No problem, kid. Why don’t you take a shower while I make a few phone calls, then we’ll head to Clearwater and buy you some clothes.”

  “New ones?”

  The hopeful look on her face wrenched his heart. “Sure.”

  “Oh, that would be so nice, Daddy.”

  Her face glowed with anticipation. She hurried to the bathroom, and while she was in there, he made several calls. If this drop-off was the answer to prayers, he needed to make the most of it as quickly as possible. And that meant locating Jasmine and getting her to make things legal, but Seth wasn’t a fool in love any longer. Jasmine had a knack for looking out for herself, which meant she might disappear for a very long time. But in the meantime, Tori was safe with him, right where she belonged. And nothing could taint how good that felt right now.

  * * *

  “Nothing fits right.” Tears threatened as Tori set the fourth pair of pants aside. “They’re either way too long or not big enough to zip.”

  Try as he might, Seth had no answers. Were girls really this hard to fit? Couldn’t they just get a size ten like they used to and be done with it?

  “No,” his mother advised when he made a clandestine phone call while Tori tried on a dress. “Tori’s at that in-between stage, so some things from the ladies’ department might fit and others from the kids’ department might fit. Or you can shop in juniors because she’s petite.”

  Ladies? Kids? Juniors? Petite? His mother might as well be talking a foreign language.

  “Why not call it a day and you and I can take her tomorrow,” Jenny offered. “Or you could ask Gianna for help.”

  Gianna.

  He’d watched her trim a large dress into one suitable for her grandmother in a few hours’ time. He’d seen her pull apart a sleeve, adjust it, put it back in place and create an entirely new “vintage” look for a pattern. Yes, Gianna or Carmen could help. He felt instantly better and tried to tell himself it was simply because Gianna knew her way around fashion and a sewing machine.

  The fact that her wide brown eyes made him long to draw closer was academic. She was living choices from a life that had nothing to do with him.

  So was he.

  But she was a talented woman who plied her needles with an artist’s touch. Surely she could make sense of a nearly twelve-year-old girl’s wardrobe.

  He hoped.

  * * *

  “Seth, hi.” Gianna would not allow her heart to pitter-patter like some cute kid movie about happily ever afters. Been there. Done that. Clearly overrated. “What’s up?”

  “I need your help.”

  He sounded funny. Good, but different. She set her water glass on the counter and nodded as she eyed his house through the kitchen window. “I’m listening.”

  “My daughter has come home.”

  His daughter?

  Seth had a daughter? No one had said anything about that, and in small towns, talk ran rampant. Or maybe that was just in her small town, because this one didn’t seem to be quite as gossip fired. “Seth, that’s nice. You sound delighted.”

  “Thrilled, actually, but we’re having problems with clothes and my mother suggested your help. She’d be here but she’s in Buffalo with Dad. Do you have time, Gianna? If we get clothes that need adjustments, can you do that?”

  “You took on shopping all by yourself? Seth, that’s either remarkably admirable or borderline insane. How old is your daughter?”

  A moment of silence stretched long before he answered. “Nearly twelve.”

  Gianna laughed out loud. “I’m going with the borderline-insanity theory in that case.”

  He sighed, and in that soft breath she read the sensitivity of his gentle heart. “Mom offered to come back early, but I hated to make her miss this convention. And I thought we’d do okay shopping together.”

  “But—”

  “Nothing fits right.” He whispered the words as if trying to spare his daughter’s feelings. “We’re both getting discouraged, but we have to find something because she’s got no clothes.”

  No clothes. Sudden reappearance. The light shining boldly through two previously dark windows.

  Empathy flooded Gianna. Whatever this story was, she read the slight note of panic in Seth’s voice and needed to help him. Wanted to help him. “Where are you guys?”

  “At the mall in Clearwater.”

  “I’ll be there in thirty minutes. And I’m pregnant and starving, so lunch first would be a very good idea.”

  He laughed, and the sound of that laugh, well-rounded and more relaxed, said he’d gladly feed her if she helped him figure things out. The fact that she was eager to help him was something she’d face later on. For the moment, a shopping trip at the opposite end of the lake sounded like a great excuse to leave her sewing chair for the afternoon.

  “Gram? I’m heading down to Clearwater to help Seth shop for his daughter.”

  Carmen raised a brow of interest. “A change has occurred.”

  Her voice said she knew more than Gianna, but that wasn’t a big surprise. Folks confided in Carmen, even those who didn’t know her, and Carmen was th
e exception to the family rule. She wasn’t afraid to keep things quiet and pray privately. It was a lesson some of her offspring should adopt more often. “So it seems. I won’t be back for a while.”

  “I’m glad you’re getting out.” Carmen waved her toward the door. “Do not forget your scarf. Taking a chill is never good.”

  Gianna paused, retraced her steps, and bent to kiss her grandmother’s cheek. “I love you, Gram. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  “Ach.” Carmen brushed off the warm emotion with a shrug and a smile. “You. Me. We are much alike. We have always known this. Go. Have fun. Retail therapy is a wonderful thing.”

  Retail therapy.

  Gianna laughed on the way to the car because her grandmother was right. Spending a day shopping with Seth and his daughter—spending someone else’s money—equated great therapy. She loved her job, and the grand opening was drawing close, so the need to produce more vintage-looking goods pressed her to sit long hours at her machine, but this?

  A day at the mall on a cold, clear February afternoon?

  A gift.

  * * *

  He wished he’d thought of this sooner.

  As Gianna explained the size differences to a suddenly enthusiastic Tori, Seth realized he’d been over his head, possibly drowning in cotton-poly blends, for hours.

  “So I should look for pants in juniors.” Tori lifted a pair of size sevens and Gianna handed her two more sizes to try on. “And shirts...”

  “Shirts might be in both,” Gianna explained. “The thing is, some junior styles show a little too much skin, if you know what I mean. Of course, properly fit undergarments make the outfit, so why don’t you and I go over there and spend some of your father’s money.”

  Tori blushed at the mention of underwear, and Seth blessed Gianna’s take-charge nature. He hadn’t even thought of that when they started out because shopping for his little girl used to be so easy.

  Not anymore.

  He gulped and followed them. Once Gianna had Tori properly fitted, they moved back to juniors. Before he knew it, three pairs of jeans had made their way into his arms. Then two sweaters. Two hoodies. And three long-sleeved T-shirts with some kind of glittery bird designs across the front.