Loving the Lawman

by Ruth Logan Herne

  Not in good conscience. And right now, with nearly three months of pregnancy remaining, and a new business blooming, she couldn’t think straight enough to see the long road. But the short road said she needed to cool things with Seth Campbell no matter how much her heart said otherwise.

  * * *

  “Dad! Spring!”

  Seth turned to face Tori as warm air and the higher pitch of the sun bathed his lungs a week later. Daffodil nubs poked green spikes up from his south-facing front yard. The shade of the house kept the backyard soil cooler, so those bulbs would be weeks behind, but seeing these sprouts of green, and a tuck of tiny crocuses Tori had just spotted, felt good.

  “You ready, kid?”

  Tori hesitated, then nodded. “I guess.”

  “Let’s go.” They were meeting with the principal, the guidance counselor and Tori’s teacher today to plan a course of action. Seth read the anxiety in her face, and a similar angst in her gestures, but he couldn’t go soft. They needed a plan to catch Tori up with her classmates if she wanted to maintain her grade level. And she needed to be totally invested in the plan.

  Right now that didn’t seem likely.

  But two hours later he left the school, impressed by their professionalism and Tori’s composure. He gripped a folder in his hand, the name of a tutor and an outline of what Tori needed to accomplish by September.

  He faced her as they reached the car. He raised the folder aloft. “Doable?”

  “Yes. I think it is, Dad.” Then she smiled, looking much more relaxed than she had two hours before. “I know it is.”

  His smile matched hers. “That’s my girl. I’ll give this tutor a call.”

  “Can’t Gianna do it? Please? We work so well together.”

  They did, but Gianna’s current stress and workload made him waver. And her actions this past week said she’d taken a firm step back from the growing attraction between them.

  Could he ask? Better yet, should he? Tori’s imploring look said he needed to, even if the answer wasn’t what she hoped. “I’ll ask, but we have to be prepared for her to say no, Tori. She’s crazy busy even with Carmen’s help. The store is off to a great start, which means a whole lot of behind-the-scenes work.”

  “Like?”

  “Ordering. Sewing. Alterations. Shopping online. Books.” Tori frowned and Seth explained, “Business accounts. Debit and credit sheets. Figuring things in. Logging expenses. And if people bring things in to sell on consignment, that makes a chain of paperwork, too.”

  “Well, her computer program does most of the accounting stuff,” Tori explained. “Gianna showed me how the software keeps track of all sales, what they’ve used, what they need to order and what folks are trending on. That way she can target her customers without counting a thing.”

  Seth hadn’t realized such a thing existed, but it made perfect sense. Integrated technology used to be a big deal. Now it was expected. “Okay, so that might all be true, but she could still be too busy. Just don’t set yourself up for disappointment. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  She agreed to keep him happy, but he saw her face. She was counting on Gianna. As an adult, Seth read his neighbor’s time frame with more accuracy than his daughter. The store opening and the influx of family had turned the dynamics of Gianna’s afternoons inside out. Seth couldn’t see how tutoring would fit into the mix.

  * * *

  “Tori.” Gianna looked at the tutoring schedule and frowned, dismayed. “I wish I could, honey, but there’s no way I can do this the way it should be done right now.”

  Grandma made a sound from the other side of the curtain, a noise Gianna knew well. Roughly translated, her grandmother was calling her out with a well-placed grunt.

  Gianna ignored her and faced Tori and Seth. “I hate saying no.”

  “But we—” Seth put a hand on Tori’s shoulder “—understand completely. The store is open now, and it’s busy.”

  “Yes. Exactly.” Gianna grasped his understanding and ran with it. “Between the store and my family—”

  Seth pulled Tori a touch closer, just enough to show his support for his daughter, his unfailing love, a love that withstood the test of time, faith and separation. Turning her back on a chance at that love? At that devotion?

  How stupid was she?

  And how badly will you feel if the unthinkable happens to Seth and you’ve gone into this with your eyes wide-open? What makes you think you’re strong enough to handle such a possibility? And why would anyone who’s lived this scenario twice contemplate putting her children through it?

  Doubt gnawed at her. Images of her old self, depressed and grief stricken, pressed in. She pushed them aside, but not before they’d made their point. She couldn’t afford to take chances. Not now. Not ever. What would happen to her children if she fell apart again? That thought alone pushed her further from the invitation in Seth Campbell’s blue eyes.

  “They did give us the name of a local tutor,” Seth said. “We’ll give her a call and see what we can set up.”

  He turned to go, one arm slung around Tori’s disappointed shoulders. As they moved toward one door, Marie came in through the other. She tapped her watch as she approached Gianna, and her voice made her time crunch quite clear. “I’m leaving for home now. I understand you’re coming home for Easter.”

  She said it as a command, not a question, but since Gianna had already told the family that she and Gram would drive to Edgerton for Easter weekend, Marie’s take wasn’t all that important. “Yes.”

  “I’m contacting my Realtor when I get back. He’ll have possibilities for you to consider when you’re back home. While all this is nice, Gianna, we both know you don’t need to work.”

  Gianna sucked a breath. Financially, that was true. Michael’s insurance had left her comfortable. Mentally?

  She needed the push of everyday normal, the art of creativity flowing through her fingers as she made new garments or repaired dated ones. “Gram and I love what we’re doing here.” She kept her voice mild, and that ease made Marie think she could push further.

  “A job which could be done anywhere,” Marie stated smoothly. “And not one that has to be located more than five hours away from family, the very people who are willing to pick you up when you fall down.”

  She clipped the final seven words staccato-style, aiming verbal arrows at Gianna’s ego. Gianna dodged the mental jabs and realized she had to give serious thought and prayer to Marie’s influence on small children. Gianna had no intention of letting the twins be inundated with negativity. Grace, warmth and wisdom, yes.

  And cookies. Cookies were a given.

  But this chronic defeatism from Marie?

  Not a chance. “Thankfully there’s Gram,” she said lightly, knowing it would tweak Marie’s ire but not really caring.

  “And friends.” Seth’s voice deepened the unnecessary drama. “We’re right across the street if you need anything, Gianna.”

  His voice warmed her. His smile bolstered her flagging ego. His gaze said he believed in her, no matter what, but the fact that he was a cop made her more than nervous. It made her remember. “Thank you, Seth.”

  He left and Marie moved forward. “You’re interested in him.”

  Gianna was not about to discuss her feelings for Seth with Michael’s mother. That went beyond weird. “He’s my neighbor and my landlord, and his daughter is a sweetheart who loves to help me here. That’s the kind of neighborhood this is. The kind of town this is, Marie.”

  “You have feelings for him,” Marie repeated, as if Gianna hadn’t spoken. “While you carry my son’s children. This man, this deputy sheriff—” She stressed deputy as if it was a bad thing, and then sheriff because she didn’t believe local police held a candle to state troopers. Fortunately the police in Kirkwood La
ke didn’t embrace old-school mind-sets. Terrorist attacks across the country had pushed policing departments to a position of teamwork, a positive change. “He cares for his ex-wife’s child, a girl who isn’t his own. He married a woman of loose morals and then was surprised when she left him. Oh, I’ve heard plenty around here, let me tell you. Is that the kind of bad judgment my grandchildren deserve? To be surrounded by people of poor choices? This is the example you’re hoping to set for Michael’s children?”

  Gianna kept her voice quiet while a tempest rose within her. How dare Marie come here and start judging people? How dare she think her way was the best way? Being a grandmother didn’t include the right to ridicule others. The Campbells were a wonderful family. “Seth is a marvelous man. And Tori is precious beyond words.”

  “It is time for you to go, Marie.” Carmen stepped in from the kitchen area. She folded her arms and faced down Michael’s mother with a degree of finality. “Gianna’s choices are her own. She is strong. She is focused. She is healthy. I’m sure your son would be affronted at your treatment of the mother of his children. And that, Marie, is what you need to think about. Pray about. Because while grandparents have rights, those rights do not include belittling others. This is something, perhaps, you should take up with God.”

  Color heated Marie’s cheeks. She stared at Carmen, hard and long, then raised her chin and turned toward Gianna, dismissing Carmen with silence. “I will see you at Easter.”

  “With no Realtor.” Gianna made the point short and clear. “Our home is here.”

  Marie shrugged that off. “When you suddenly have two babies to watch, and a business to run, and Grandma takes ill, you’ll come running for help.”

  Snappy comebacks raced through Gianna’s mind, but she held her tongue. Marie liked to maintain a verbal upper hand. Gianna craved peace and grace. Reason enough to put five hours between herself and Marie, but she’d already done that, so rubbing salt in the wound was unnecessary. She turned toward Carmen as the door clicked shut. “You thought I was wrong about tutoring Tori.”

  Carmen shifted her attention from Marie’s rigid, retreating back and considered Gianna. “I think you’re letting fear guide you. Not faith. But I’m on your side, Gianna, no matter what decisions you make. This, of course, does not stop me from fervently praying for you to make the right choices.”

  “Those being the choices you think I should make.” Gianna arched one brow as she faced her beloved grandmother.

  “Indubitably.” Carmen’s pleased expression said Gianna was finally on track. “You fear loving Seth because of what he does, not who he is. And that fear isn’t of God. It’s of weakness.”

  “With good reason, I’d say.”

  Carmen didn’t jump to agree this time. “Life hands most of us good reason to doubt and fear. But then it’s up to us to decide what rules our lives. Doubt? Or God? Because worry is not of God.” She faced Gianna straight on and continued, “You fear loving another policeman because of what we’ve lost, but I look at the past and know police work had little to do with what has happened to us. Any Good Samaritan might have stopped and helped that stranded couple on the thruway, but it happened to be your father, who happened to be a trooper. And it wasn’t police work that got Michael killed, it was interrupting a robbery in progress. His police work didn’t put him at risk, Gianna. Life did. And that’s where God comes in.” She moved toward the door and grabbed her lightweight jacket. “I’m running down to Tina’s to grab a quiche for dinner. I ordered one this morning. Would you like a fancy coffee?”

  She shouldn’t, but the thought of creamy, caramel-laced coffee made her say yes. “But just a medium, Gram.”

  “Consider it done.” The look Carmen aimed her way said she’d leave Gianna time to consider her words.

  She’d disappointed Tori. And she’d most likely hurt Seth by backing away from her attraction to him, sending out conflicting signals like a fouled-up lighthouse inviting boats to run aground.

  Her mother and Aunt Rose had gone back to Edgerton. They needed to reopen the homes they’d left in early winter. She’d promised to drive east to visit for Easter, but in the meantime, she had some serious thinking to do. Marie had placed her shots with her usual pinpoint accuracy, but Gianna wasn’t the grief-stricken widow she’d been. She was strengthened by faith, hope and love. And good neighbors.

  A small group of customers walked in just then. Gianna greeted them with a smile, and beyond the open door, she saw Seth chatting with Reverend Smith and Titus. Seth bent to pet the dog, and the image he presented, the tall, resilient, rugged lawman, gentle enough to soothe a young dog and care for a child not his own...

  Her heart tripped and fell right then.

  Seth was the image of fatherhood she’d always loved, very like the earnest, funny, patriotic father she’d lost as a child. The easy grin, the quiet countenance, the strong and knowing silences.

  A guardian. A protector.

  Her heart longed for that very thing, but was that because she was falling in love with him? Or because she feared her old weaknesses and wanted someone else to take charge?

  Love, she realized, watching him pet the tail-wagging pup. Pure, sweet, unadulterated love. Joy coursed through her, paralleled with fear, an angst that needed to be resolved. She’d come this far with faith, hope and love. There was no reason she couldn’t go further if she let herself. Now she had to just summon the courage to do just that.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Seth saw Gianna’s number in the call screen and answered the phone quickly that evening.

  “I want to work with Tori. Tutor her. If you haven’t found anyone else yet.”

  No way was Seth about to confess he hadn’t called the other woman because he had been hoping Gianna would reconsider. He’d save that confession for later. Much later.

  Tori would love this change of plans. Frankly, so would Seth. He didn’t tiptoe around; he grabbed the offer like a drowning man grasps a lifeline. “Excellent. Monday, Wednesday and Friday good for you?”

  “Yes. But if you’re working any of the other afternoons, she can still come here.”

  Seth chalked up another plus in the “win” column and smiled, unseen.

  “We’ll get her work done and then she can sew. Or help in the store.”

  “She’ll love that.”

  “Me, too.”

  His heart sighed at her words. He’d read the hesitation in her face and voice these past weeks. He knew she longed to draw closer, but fear kept her at bay.

  He was a cop. He loved being a cop. And he’d dealt with a woman who tried to conform to an unsuited way of life before. The dismal failure of his marriage made him wiser and more cautious, but that caution fell by the wayside in Gianna’s presence. “She’ll be thrilled, Gianna.”

  “Us, too. I’m going back to Edgerton for Easter, though, so we can do the beginning of this week, then I’m gone from Holy Saturday through Easter Monday.”

  “When we start to enjoy the influx of tourism and summer folks.”

  “Yes.”

  “Good timing. Hey, go to your kitchen window.”

  “My kitchen window? Why—” She laughed and waved through the wide pane of glass when she spotted him grinning from across the street. “The yard is looking good.”

  “Flattening out innumerable mole trails in the grass was beneficial, right?”

  “Don’t tell me how you did it. I prefer to think of them like the little ‘Woodsies’ I played with as a kid, squeaking along in their hollow-tree homes. I’m sure you put them in some sort of witness relocation program for rodents. Right?”

  “I’ll keep my methods on the down low. Would you like to have supper together tonight?”

  She stared from the window, and her hesitation gave him hope as he ticked the seconds off in his head. One...tw
o...three...

  “I can’t, Seth.”

  He may have gotten a reluctant refusal, but he counted the interval as a victory. “Another time, then. Because you know I’ll keep asking.”

  This uncertainty wasn’t nearly as long and made his heart chug a little faster. “I hope you do.”

  “You can count on it. I’ll tell Tori the news.”

  “Okay. Goodbye.”

  “Bye.” He didn’t just hang up the phone, though. He waved across the street, to the window, knowing she could see him clearly.

  And she waved back, smiling.

  * * *

  “Gianna?” Tori half whispered Gianna’s name on Wednesday afternoon.

  Carmen was busily chatting with the two customers in the store, so Gianna ducked into the kitchen. “What’s up? Did you finish that internet United States map quiz this quickly? Awesome!”

  “Yes, but it’s not that.” Worry darkened Tori’s face as she pointed to the television in the living room. “Your grandma was checking the news earlier, but now this came on.”

  “This” was a special news bulletin about a police standoff in Clearwater, the small city at the southernmost boundary of Kirkwood Lake. Home to a state university and a dwindling population after a two-decade loss of manufacturing jobs, Clearwater had known its share of problems the past several years. The up-to-the-minute news coverage showed a campus lockdown at the SUNY school, small shopping centers with no discernible movement and a ring of various police fanning in multiple directions. The ticker running across the bottom of the screen said shots had been fired, causing multiple injuries. Reports of two policemen down were being investigated for accuracy.

  “Dad’s there. He patrols the area between the college and the south end of the lake. He’s done that stretch for years.”

  Tori’s fear tunneled Gianna back in time, to another little girl. A little girl who wouldn’t kiss her daddy goodbye because he’d made her clean up her toys before he’d left for work. A little girl who’d never been able to kiss her daddy again.