A Question of Marriage

by Lindsay Armstrong

  She paused as he moved abruptly, then she said with a wry little gesture, ‘I know you think I’m a bit of a babe in the woods, but I’m not stupid and—I still don’t understand—why tell me this now?’ She stared at him with a frown of incomprehension.

  He stared down at his glass for a long moment and the lines of his face were suddenly harsh. Then he looked up at her. ‘Because it’s getting harder and harder not to seduce you, Aurora.’

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ‘WHAT makes you think I’d be so easy to seduce?’

  Luke studied Aurora pointedly. From her glamorous new hairstyle to the smooth, creamy skin of her shoulders, the curves of her breasts beneath the raspberry velvet, the slim line of her figure to her toes. Then his gaze came back to rest on her vivid little face and wide green eyes with their fringe of exotic lashes. Lastly, it moved to her glossy, berry-red lips.

  Aurora stirred, unable to be unmoved by this silent catalogue of what he found attractive about her. Unable to stem the rising tide of desire within—a response to his dark gaze on her, almost as if his hands were on her as well. And the knowledge that it was getting harder and harder for her not to want to be seduced with every fibre of her being.

  She swallowed and moved a couple of restless steps to put her glass down on a table. Then she said abruptly, ‘That still doesn’t mean to say I would…succumb, Luke.’

  Something flickered in his eyes—admiration, perhaps, because she’d chosen not to ignore what had flowed between them. ‘No. But it mightn’t stop me trying.’ He shrugged. ‘And despite the playfulness of today, I can see that it’s beginning to loom large for you—what road we’re going down. Also,’ he added, looking around, ‘these kind of holiday surroundings are notorious for causing people to let down their guards, which is why I felt—honour-bound, I guess, to bring it up now.’

  ‘But none of this occurred to you before we got here?’ she asked huskily.

  ‘The only thing…’ he paused ‘…no, not quite—but it occurred to me before we got here how much I would enjoy spending this weekend with you, Aurora.’

  ‘Then how about letting me be the guardian of your morals for this weekend, Professor?’ she suggested. ‘I always knew I might be the error of your ways.’ She gestured with both hands. ‘Nothing’s changed.’

  ‘Aurora,’ he said dryly, ‘I know you can never resist a challenge, but I have to point out that I gave my…morals, for want of a better word…into your keeping quite a few weeks ago.’

  She looked at him expressionlessly for a long moment, then, ‘Luke, do you want me to go or stay?’

  ‘It’s not as simple as that,’ he replied impatiently.

  ‘Yes, it is. You worry about yourself and allow me to do the same. But I’m not ready to sleep with you, if that’s what you’re asking me obliquely. So, if you can’t stand the heat, you’d better get out of the kitchen.’

  ‘You…’ he started to say with supreme frustration, then began to laugh.

  Aurora waited with as much cool as she could muster.

  ‘I wasn’t asking you that obliquely,’ he said at last, still looking amused. ‘I was merely trying to point out that things could get to a mutual stage, a point of no return because we both might find we can’t help ourselves. But—’

  ‘I shouldn’t rely on becoming Mrs Newton at the other end of it? Who says I want to?’ she answered, and wondered if a bolt of lightning might strike her down there and then.

  It didn’t, but her comment did sober Luke Kirwan up. ‘Very well, Miss Templeton,’ he said at last, after studying her intently. ‘Shall we go?’

  ‘One last thing, Luke. I’m not throwing down any gaunt-lets. Don’t you suddenly start taking this up as a challenge.’

  He came towards her and tilted her chin as he was so often wont to do. ‘Isn’t that a little like the kettle calling the pot black, Aurora?’

  ‘No.’ Her lips quivered in anticipation of one of his light, chaste kisses but it didn’t come.

  ‘Then I shall try to be on my best behaviour. Dresses like this one make it difficult, however.’ He traced the bare skin of her shoulder.

  She shivered but forced herself to rally. ‘Point taken—I’ll opt for sackcloth and tents from tomorrow, but there’s nothing to be done about tonight.’

  ‘Not a thing,’ he responded gravely, and did kiss her briefly this time before presenting her his arm formally.

  ‘Luke…’ She stopped uncertainly.

  He raised an eyebrow and all the dangers signals she’d ever seen in him were back.

  So, despite many inward qualms, she straightened her shoulders and tilted her chin again. ‘Nothing.’ She put her arm through his.

  He smiled, but it did nothing to reassure her because it was just about the most enigmatic smile she’d ever seen.

  The ballroom at the Mirage was dimly lit and decorated in silver and gold; stars, moons and planets were suspended from a midnight-blue ceiling by invisible thread. It was like stepping into the night sky. In fact Aurora was so enchanted, she forgot to be annoyed with or intimidated by Luke for a while.

  It was also a large gathering, at least five hundred guests, she surmised, which had to make it easier to be anonymous. But there was another surprise waiting for Aurora on what turned out to be a never-to-be-forgotten night. She should have expected it. There was ample evidence that Luke was very much sought out by delegates to this conference even before he made his speech.

  That he alone amongst the speakers would get a standing ovation had not occurred to her, although just to see him on the dais looking so tall and distinguished wreaked a bit of havoc with her already uncertain peace of mind. But he was also a consummate speaker, entirely at ease, and she suddenly found herself feeling some sympathy for the army of groupies he had to guard against.

  It was one of the cleverest speeches she’d ever heard. He got his audience in stitches as, throughout a blending of the old and new in astrophysics, he wove in Isaac Newton’s imaginary and long-suffering wife in the form of plaintive asides addressed to “Mr Newton”, as she called him, about all the trials and tribulations of living with a scientist—and her sad conclusion was that it was the apple falling on his head that had done it because he’d never been the same since.

  ‘That was brilliant!’ she said, looking at him a little wonderingly, when he finally got back to her side. ‘I didn’t know.’

  He stared into her eyes and she could see devilry in his quite clearly. ‘You suggested it.’

  ‘But I didn’t think you were going to go with it and—what I meant was—I didn’t know you were so good at that kind of thing.’

  ‘Could I have redeemed myself somewhat, Aurora?’ he enquired with his lips twisting.

  She laughed a bit dazedly.

  ‘For example,’ he went on, ‘now all that is out of the way as well as dinner, might you consent to dancing with me?’

  ‘I…’ she looked around to see that quite a few couples had drifted onto the floor ‘…yes, thank you. That would—probably be nice.’

  He grinned wickedly and said no more. But he gathered her slim body in its beautiful red dress close to him and, with the aid of the music, wove another kind of magic around her. The sheer magnetism and sensuality of being in his arms was impossible to resist… She even thought once, with an inward little shiver, that she was trapped and held spellbound by this man, and nothing seemed to have the power to change the fact that he was the dazzling centre of her universe.

  They sat down after about half an hour and she was introduced to a number of intellectuals and academics, and formed the impression that they played as well as any other kind of people. There were also plenty of wives in evidence, although many of them laughingly commented to Luke that he’d got it so right—scientists were sheer hell to live with!

  Causing Aurora to shiver again and cast a swift glance at Luke by her side. He was listening to a grey-haired, venerable-looking man who was inviting him to America to do a lecture s
eries. Despite sounding grateful for the invitation, his reply was noncommittal…

  ‘Don’t you want to go to America?’ she asked as they drifted back onto the floor.

  ‘I love America but I’m not into lecture tours.’

  ‘You should be—you could make a fortune, I’m sure.’

  He looked down at her with clear laughter in his eyes.

  ‘You don’t need another fortune—silly me,’ she murmured.

  ‘It’s not that. There are times when disseminating information goes against the grain with me.’

  She blinked. ‘Why?’

  ‘Well, of course one needs universities and their research facilities and it wouldn’t be fair not to pass on knowledge, but…’ he paused, then went on a little dryly ‘…there are times when I’d like to go and live in a mud hut on the Amazon and just keep it all to myself.’

  ‘That’s not,’ Aurora said bemusedly, ‘the image you projected tonight, Luke.’

  ‘I only let that guy out once or twice a year. It’s not the real me.’ He looked down at her in an oddly sombre way. ‘And, since this has been topical between us lately, Leonie would die rather than live in a mud hut.’

  She missed a step and he gathered her close, then stopped dancing abruptly as he stared over her shoulder. Aurora turned after a moment, and there was Leonie Murdoch behind her on the arm of a man who looked distinctly embarrassed.

  But Leonie herself looked stunning in a strapless sequined black dress that clung to every inch of her superb figure. Her skin was lightly tanned, her hair was intricately put up, she wore diamonds in her ears and on her wrist, and her whole presence was enough to make most men, as they danced by, take a second, lingering look.

  But it was the contact, almost like an electric current, between her and Luke as they exchanged glances that struck Aurora like a blow to the heart, and convinced her that, whatever there was between Luke and his ex-mistress, it wasn’t over…

  Then Leonie switched her gentian gaze to Aurora, and she blinked as recognition came to her. ‘So,’ she drawled, ‘you’re not only the girl who’s stepped into my shoes but the girl I ran into!’

  ‘I am the girl you ran into,’ Aurora agreed, ‘but I haven’t stepped into anyone’s shoes yet.’

  The faintest smile played over Leonie Murdoch’s exquisite mouth, causing Aurora to feel, amongst other things, quite insignificant. Then the other girl looked back at Luke and there was so much quizzical humour in her eyes, from feeling insignificant Aurora went to feeling like scratching Leonie’s beautiful eyes out…

  She was saved by the bell—in a manner of speaking. The band stopped playing and announced a short break. Aurora turned to Luke and said beneath her breath, ‘Get me out of here!’

  He did.

  Without asking, he led her not to her room but through the gardens to the beach, then stopped frustratedly and looked down at her sandals.

  ‘I can take them off.’ She did so and put them under the hedge. ‘Don’t worry about my stockings. Did you know she was going to be here tonight?’

  ‘No, of course not. That was her brother she was with, incidentally. He’s a lecturer in my department, that’s how we met in the first place—are you all right?’

  ‘Absolutely on top of the world—what do you think?’ Aurora said intensely. ‘I would never have come if I’d known.’

  ‘Aurora, I did not know,’ he said harshly. ‘The last person I would have expected her to come with was her brother.’

  ‘I take your point, but, if she had to fall back on her brother, how desperate must she be to get you back, Luke?’

  He turned away and stared out to sea.

  Aurora closed her eyes and counted to ten. Then she took his hand and they started to walk, skirting the tracery left by the tide, Aurora holding her skirt up with one hand. The moon, a full one, was heading for the western horizon behind them, but its glow was giving an other-worldly look to the beach and the surf, bright yet seen through a glass darkly.

  She mentioned it.

  He agreed and added, ‘It’s the autumn equinox tonight—the days start to get shorter, the nights get longer.’

  They walked for a while in silence, then she said, ‘Tell me about a mud hut on the Amazon.’

  He considered, then sighed suddenly. ‘That’s a bit extreme, but there’s a call, there always has been to places like Patagonia, the Russian steppes, the Antarctic, the Dead Sea and, closer to home, the Simpson Desert, et cetera. A call to slough off…everything for a couple of months and just do my own thing. I always assumed, with Leonie, that when the call came she’d be content to stay here and do her own thing.’

  ‘She wouldn’t have been?’

  ‘At first it was no problem but, funnily enough, it was the closest to home call that began to create problems. This may surprise you but for a while now I’ve been thinking of going back to Beltrees.’

  Aurora stopped walking in supreme surprise. ‘To…to grow wool?’

  ‘No. To potter for a while. Years ago I came across some evidence that suggested a meteor strike on the property. I don’t know if you remember, but some months ago something fell out of the heavens?’

  Aurora blinked, then nodded. ‘Something about the size of a golf ball that left a huge dent in the earth?’

  ‘Yes.’ He looked amused. ‘Anyway, it reactivated my interest in Beltrees from that point of view, but I was too tied up at the time to be able to do anything about it. And Leonie suggested that, since I’d always have Beltrees and any trace of meteor activity wasn’t going to go away, perhaps we could fit it around a more suitable time for both of us.’

  ‘That seems a fairly reasonable suggestion.’

  ‘I know. I kept telling myself it was entirely sensible, in fact, but…’ He stopped and sighed.

  ‘That’s when you started to feel you were looking down the barrel of a gun?’ Aurora suggested.

  ‘In hindsight, again,’ he said dryly, ‘yes. And, selfish as it sounds, that’s when a lurking sense of… I don’t want to have to fit in with anyone else’s timetable” started to rise to the surface.’

  ‘This is not, though,’ she said cautiously, ‘a problem with Leonie so much as a problem with yourself.’

  He stopped walking and looked down at her sardonically. ‘You’re determined to side with Leonie for reasons that escape me.’

  ‘That’s because you’re not a woman,’ she replied with a trace of her own irony. ‘And I’m not saying I side with her, but that doesn’t mean to say that I can’t see the problem loud and clear—you don’t really want a wife.’

  He swore beneath his breath. ‘I don’t want a wife who is going to resent having to give up her career for me or feel slighted when I go away or make me feel unreasonable when I know damn well I am being unreasonable but I can’t…help it. The other thing is, Leonie thought she had a tame professor in tow, and that life would be…like this.’ He looked around. ‘Plenty of social intercourse—’

  ‘She must be very naïve, which I doubt,’ Aurora broke in to observe, ‘if she ever thought you were “tame”.’

  He shrugged. ‘I meant from the point of view that, while she tried to be all sweet reason at times, she thought she was humouring me. She didn’t really understand…what drives me and always will.’ He made a frustrated gesture. ‘But I’m extremely regretful on her behalf that it took me so long to work it all out.’

  They were standing facing each other on that long silvery strip of sand with the lights of Surfers Paradise pricking the dark sky and the waves beside them showing fascinating glimpses of phosphorus glowing as they curled over.

  He could probably explain that phenomenon to me, Aurora thought as she stared past him out to sea, and I’d love him to do so. Why don’t I just ignore all the rest of it, all the tortured complexities of his relationship with Leonie, all the things that would make any relationship with a woman difficult for him and…deadly for her if she wanted to make it permanent?

  Because
I can’t guarantee I could stand it any better than Leonie Murdoch, she thought with chilling clarity. I can’t guarantee that at all…

  ‘Luke—’ she moved her hand in his ‘—let’s go back. I’m getting tired of holding my skirt up, for one thing!’

  He looked down at her intently, then shrugged. But at the beach gate there was a bench and she sat down on it with her sandals in her hand. He stood in front of her with his hands shoved into his pockets, tall and dark.

  ‘I’m going home first thing tomorrow morning, Luke,’ she said quietly, gazing up at him and hoping desperately she was able to contain the tears that were threatening. ‘Please don’t say anything to try to make me change my mind. It’s not Leonie, it’s me. You were right when you said earlier that things could get out of hand down here—actually, I think we’ve got to a stage where things could get out of hand anywhere. But I’m not ready to take that step. I took it once with disastrous consequences, well—’ she gestured and her sandals fell onto the sand ‘—that’s how it seemed at the time, anyway.’

  He bent down to pick them up and put them on the bench beside her. ‘Are you suggesting I’d go all jealous and possessive on you?’

  ‘No.’ A stray tear did fall as she smiled at the irony of that, and licked it from her lip. ‘The opposite, if anything, but just as bad, I guess—I might.’

  ‘Aurora—’

  ‘Luke—’ she leant forward and rested her head on his waist ‘—I’d hate it if you became the error of my ways, but that’s what it could easily become because I know very well I could be making a mistake. I like you too much for that and I think, in your heart of hearts, you might feel the same.’

  He said nothing for a long time, although he started to stroke her hair. ‘If,’ he said at last, ‘I agree with you, it’s only because…I would hate to hurt you, Aurora.’

  ‘I know,’ she said huskily. ‘And I thank you. Look…’ she tilted her head to see his eyes ‘…this is difficult, but I’m sure it’s for the best for both of us. Will you let me just get myself home tomorrow? They could arrange a car for me.’