Brides of Penhally Bay - Vol 4

by Various Authors

  ‘It was good advice.’ Luca kissed her, his voice gentle. ‘And then what happened?’

  Polly closed her eyes, remembering. ‘I discovered I was pregnant. I was shocked and upset, more so when Charles admitted he had deliberately tampered with my birth control. We rowed terribly for weeks, it seemed. The timing was wrong, I didn’t want to bring a baby into our relationship the way it was. Charles continued to demand I do what he said, including giving up my career. Again I refused. My job was increasingly the only good thing in my life. And then…’

  In the moments of silence that followed Polly felt the tension building inside her, and could feel every rapid thud of her heart against her ribs, not sure how to tell Luca the rest.

  ‘And then?’ he encouraged softly, his gentle understanding giving her the courage to go on.

  ‘It was Halloween. I was six months pregnant. Charles was waiting for me when I came home from work. He was drunk, and there was a wildness in his eyes that scared me,’ she told him, her voice dropping to a hoarse whisper, her body starting to shake. ‘I’d hardly got inside the door when he came for me. He was screaming abuse, and he was waving a kitchen knife in his hand. I genuinely feared for my safety, and that of my baby. He chased me out of the house. There were people about, witnesses who later supported my version of events. Scared, I tried to get away. I ran into the street and… And,’ she tried again, tears spilling from between her lashes, ‘I was hit by a car.’

  Luca swore long and hard in Italian, wrapping her in his arms and holding her close.

  ‘I nearly died. My baby girl was already dead. The placental abruption and haemorrhaging were so bad that there was nothing else they could do. The only way to save my life was to do a hysterectomy—to take my baby and with her any chance I could ever have any more.’

  ‘But you are alive. Dio grazie.’

  ‘It didn’t seem such a good deal in those early days. Charles came to the hospital, pretending to be a grieving husband, but then he went mad, accusing me of killing the baby and trying to attack me. Hospital Security restrained him and the police arrested him, the witness reports confirming what he had done on the day and, later, in the hospital. I was given protection and a restraining order stopping him coming near me. It all came out over the next weeks…his drinking, his addiction to poker on the internet, the vast amounts he had lost and now owed to various money-lenders, some more dodgy than others. He was clearly ill, and was committed for a time to a secure hospital. I was granted a divorce and chose to take my mother’s maiden name. The house and everything we had went to settle Charles’s debts. I had nothing—except, of course, the money from Reg’s house that Kate had persuaded me to hide away. As much as I didn’t want to touch it, tainted as it was, it was all I had and helped me to survive the weeks of recuperation until I could go back to work. Not at the same place. I couldn’t face it, but I signed on for locum work while I decided what I wanted to do with my life.

  ‘I hated London, felt insecure, as if I was looking over my shoulder, scared Charles might one day reappear. And there were the memories. So when Kate told me about the new job in Penhally, and persuaded me to return, it was like a new start, a new chapter.’

  ‘You are amazing,’ Luca whispered with admiration, nuzzling against her.

  Polly shook her head. ‘I’m not. I feel so guilty,’ she confessed, tears sliding down her cheeks.

  ‘What for?’ Luca rested the palm of one hand over the physical scar that, four years on, was beginning to fade. The emotional ones still felt so raw. ‘It was not your fault, zingarella.’

  Polly sucked in a breath, scared Luca would hate her when he learned how selfish she had been. ‘But I didn’t intend to have children at all. When Charles tricked me and deliberately made me pregnant, at first I didn’t want the baby. So when I lost her, it was as if I had made it happen, as if I had killed her, just like Charles said,’ she sobbed.

  Luca’s hold tightened as he rolled them onto their sides, his free hand cupping her face and making her look at him. ‘No! No, Polly, you did not kill your baby. Charles attacked you, you had no option but to escape him. It was an accident, tragic and terrible, but an accident,’ he insisted, nothing but understanding and compassion in his eyes.

  ‘I didn’t want her to die.’

  ‘I know, mio amore.’ He brushed a kiss across her forehead. ‘And I’m so sorry for your pain. We will never forget your little girl. Had you given her a name?’

  Polly nodded, her thoughts in turmoil. ‘I was going to call her Yvonne Katherine, after my mother and Kate. And she would have been born a week or so after the twins were. I look at Rosie and Toni, and at other children the same age, and I wonder what my daughter might have been like now. I never wanted children, yet once I had become used to the knowledge I was going to have a baby, I loved her completely, and I yearned in a way I had never imagined to be a mother. Not only did I lose her, but I can never have another child.’

  Luca was incredible…understanding, supportive, reverential of her lost baby, caring and gentle with her. He dried her eyes and made love to her with exquisite tenderness, telling her again and again that she was special and beautiful, just as he had done every day since.

  She was almost coming to believe him. Almost. Self-doubt remained, locked deep inside. After checking the notes for the home visits she was about to make, she rose to her feet. A shiver rippled through her. Why did she have an impending sense of doom?

  CHAPTER TEN

  ‘YOUR relationship with Polly is serious, is it?’

  Nick’s voice came from Luca’s consulting room and, as she neared the open door, Polly hesitated, her heart in her mouth as she waited for Luca’s response.

  ‘Polly is perfect. The twins love her.’

  Luca’s phone rang, masking Nick’s next question. Polly edged forward, but when Luca spoke again, she halted, rooted to the spot in shock.

  ‘I have no regrets, Nick. I’ve tried always to do what felt right,’ he said, an edge of reserve behind the polite tone. ‘And, yes, I plan to ask Polly to marry me—soon.’

  Glad she had remained out of sight, Polly pressed a hand to her mouth to smother her gasp of shock. Luca was thinking permanence? With her? Cinderella didn’t get to marry Prince Charming, not outside fairy-tales. The ghost of Plain Polly hadn’t been fully exorcised.

  ‘I appreciate that, Nick, but there’s no going back.’ She must have missed more of the men’s conversation as Luca’s statement puzzled her. Worse followed. ‘I knew what I was doing when I made the decision. I’d make any sacrifice necessary to ensure my daughters’ happiness.’

  Polly stepped back from the doorway, Luca’s words pounding in her head. Was that what being with her was to him…a sacrifice? The twins liked her and needed a woman’s touch, so Luca would make do? All her insecurities returned to torment her. She would never be good enough. She was too plain and unattractive to capture the heart of a man like Luca. The message was loud and clear. By marrying her, by sacrificing himself, he was providing for his children. That’s what mattered to him.

  Tears stung Polly’s eyes as she hurried towards the exit, unresponsive to those who greeted her, including Kate. She had to get out before she broke down completely. Because hearing Luca’s words had made her realise how much she loved him. She’d fought against it, knowing he was dangerous, but in a very short time he had demolished her defences and stolen her heart. And he didn’t want it. Not for himself. All he wanted was a mother for his children and, as much as she loved Rosie and Toni, she knew that would never be enough.

  Frowning, Kate watched Polly rush out of the surgery. Something was wrong. The young woman had definitely been upset, but whatever could have happened? Concerned, and making a mental note to talk to Polly later, Kate headed for the stairs, just in time to encounter Nick as he left Luca’s consulting room.

  ‘Ah, Kate…’ His smile was awkward, the tension that had simmered between them since her return to work seeming to increase
by the day. ‘A word, if you have a moment?’

  Time alone with Nick was to be avoided, but at work it was impossible. ‘All right.’ Footsteps heavy with reluctance, she followed to his room.

  ‘I was talking to Luca about his plans for the future,’ he told her, closing the door and waving her to a chair.

  Was that the cause of Polly’s upset? Had she overheard something bad enough to turn her face ashen and bring tears to her eyes? For now Kate tried to set Polly’s situation aside, because she needed all her wits about her to maintain her guard with Nick.

  ‘I’m hoping Luca and Polly will stay on and become junior partners in due time, as Oliver and Gabriel have done,’ Nick continued. ‘Things will become busier with the surgery expansion.’

  Kate recognised the delaying tactic and wished he’d say why he’d wanted to speak with her. ‘I’m sure the patients will appreciate the increased range of services.’

  Having been involved in the practice since Nick and Marco Avanti had taken it over several years ago, Kate was proud of what had been achieved, and was excited for the future of the practice. It was a future in which she wanted to play a part but…She forced herself to look at Nick. Could she stay here if things between them failed to improve?

  After everything that had happened, and all the times he had let her down and hurt her over Jem, why did her stupid heart still react to the sight and sound of him? Why was the right man wrong and the wrong man right? The question led her inexorably to Rob.

  Dear Rob. He’d been wonderful to her throughout her ordeal, and he had embraced Jem, giving her son the male role model he so badly needed. She cared about Rob, deeply…but was that enough to sustain a permanent relationship? After their talk a few nights ago, she had three months to find an answer.

  ‘I need to say this, Kate, so please hear me out,’ Rob had begun, his voice unusually serious. ‘I love you. I believe the four of us can be happy as a family unit. I know it’s important for you not to make big decisions before seeing the oncologist in January, so I’m not going to ask before then,’ he’d added, his smile endearing. ‘But I want you to know I’d marry you tomorrow. My feelings and desire to be with you aren’t dependent on the result. No…’ He’d cupped her face, pressing one thumb to her lips. ‘Please, don’t say anything—just don’t close your mind to the kind of life we could have.’

  Kate had thought of Rob’s words often in the last days. How could she not? Rob was a generous, giving and loving man who offered her and Jem stability and happiness. Accepting his proposal, when it came, would be the sensible and obvious thing to do. But—

  ‘How are you getting on back at work, Kate?’ Nick asked, redirecting her attention.

  ‘I’m enjoying it,’ she told him honestly. ‘It’s been a long time.’

  He shifted, anxious and ill at ease. ‘We’ve missed you. I’ve missed you,’ he added, shocking her as much by the intimate tone of his voice as the words themselves.

  ‘Nick—’

  ‘I’ve had time to think these last months,’ he continued, forestalling her protest. ‘I’ve behaved badly to you and Jeremiah. I’m not excusing it, but finding out the truth was a shock, one I’ve yet to come to terms with.’ He leaned forward, resting folded arms on the desk, the expression in his eyes sincere. ‘We’ve been through a great deal you and I. I not only value you as a colleague, one who’s been loyal and hardworking from the first, but also as a close friend and confidante.’

  Tears stung her eyes. ‘Thank you. I don’t know what to say,’ she murmured, unnerved by the electric atmosphere growing in the room.

  ‘I want things to be different between us, Kate.’

  ‘Different, how?’ A mix of emotions welled within her, ranging from panic and confusion to hope and shock.

  Nick’s brow knotted in concentration. ‘I regret the distance that’s grown between us, the awkwardness and loss of friendship. And, yes,’ he added, with a rare admission of his own failings, ‘I’ve been responsible for that. But I have missed you, and I’ve hated being on the sidelines while you’ve been through your operation and treatment, worrying about you and wanting to be with you, to help.’

  Again his words shocked her. Part of her wanted to remind him that he was the one who had distanced himself, who had made no effort whatsoever, and who had let her down when she’d asked for his reassurance about Jem’s security should something happen during her operation, or afterwards. It had been Rob who had stepped up to the plate and shouldered everything. But what good would it do to rub that in now? Nick was making an effort, and it was what she had wanted for the last eighteen months, since Jem’s real paternity had been made known to him.

  ‘You and Rob…’ Nick cleared his throat, lids lowering to shadow the expression in his eyes. ‘Do you love him?’

  ‘I’d say it wasn’t your business, but I suppose it is, in part, because of how things may affect Jem. We have mentioned the possibility of marriage at some point, if that’s what you want to know,’ she told him, knowing she was embellishing the truth but watching him carefully to assess his reaction.

  Sitting back in his chair, he steepled his hands under his chin, his gaze direct as he faced her, his tension and displeasure evident. ‘I see. And do you think that’s the best thing to do?’

  ‘The best for whom? Me…or Jem?’ she parried, hope turning to disappointment as she guessed the possible direction this was going. ‘Rob treats Jem just the same as his own son, they’ve bonded well and Jem has really benefited from having a male influence in his life, not to mention the emotional support while I was ill.’

  ‘I see,’ Nick repeated, a muscle pulsing along his jaw. ‘So there’s no hope for us?’

  ‘What sort of an “us” did you have in mind, Nick?’ she enquired, her heart thudding as her tension and annoyance increased.

  Looking uncomfortable, Nick sighed. ‘I don’t know. As I said, I miss you in my life in so many ways. I’d like us to regain what was lost—maybe to take things further.’

  ‘And Jem? Where does he fit in?’

  Pain lanced inside her as she read the answer in his eyes. Damn the man for doing this! And damn her heart for still wanting him, clinging to a hope and love that seemed as impossible now as it always had done. Anger and disappointment drove her to her feet.

  ‘You’re no closer to acknowledging Jem, are you? This isn’t about us at all, is it, Nick? Your world has been rattled, I’m not there as I used to be, uncomplaining and reliable. You don’t love me, I don’t think you even want me. You just don’t want someone else to have me or to have to watch as another man earns the love and respect and trust of a son you cannot bear to admit is yours.’

  ‘Kate, please,’ he appealed, also rising to his feet.

  ‘No, Nick. We’ve been over this endlessly. You’ll never accept Jem. You use your own children as an excuse,’ she accused, moving towards the door and raising her chin in defiance. ‘You’re so busy worrying what Jack, Lucy and Edward might think of the fact that Jem was conceived that fateful night of the storm while their mother was still alive. But has it never occurred to you what they’ll think now, when the truth comes out?’ she demanded, one hand clinging to the doorhandle for much-needed support, her whole body shaking. ‘And the truth will be known one day, Nick, as Jem grows older and the similarities between you become more obvious, people are going to notice and speculate. Your adult children are all wonderful, caring, decent people. How are they going to feel when they discover how you’ve shunned Jem and refused to accept him as your son?’

  Kate made herself face him, seeing the anger, surprise and the touch of fear he couldn’t hide. They were as far apart as ever and she hated that it hurt it so much. Unable to bear any more, she opened the door, praying for him to stop her but knowing he wouldn’t. She closed it quietly behind her, leaving Nick to struggle with his demons while she tried, for the umpteenth time, to put the pieces of her heart back together.

  Taking a deep breath, she squ
ared her shoulders and raised her chin. She wasn’t going to let Nick do this to her any more and she had other people to think of rather than herself. With that in mind, an image of Polly’s tear-stained face returned to her, and she went in search of Luca—her own life might be far from settled, but at least she could hope for a happy ending for the young couple so precious to her.

  A mix of relief, fear and confusion slammed in Luca’s chest as he took the stairs two at a time and discovered Polly sitting on the bedroom floor, Jasper the puppy in her arms as she rocked back and forth, the evidence of tear-tracks on her pale cheeks. Thank God for Kate…again. When she’d popped into his consulting room earlier in the afternoon to tip him off about Polly’s distress, he’d been desperate to go after her, but he’d had to wait until he’d finished his list, careful to not let his own worries affect the care he gave his patients.

  And now he was here. And so was Polly. Thankfully, the twins were at a birthday party at the vicarage, which meant there was time alone to talk. He needed to find out what was wrong and, if Kate was correct, what snippet of his conversation with Nick Polly had overheard and had taken exception to. She looked up as he walked into the room and he managed a shaky smile.